Based Balm🕊
@basedbalm
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Pioneering The Aesthetic Renaissance. Home Of The Signature Tallow & Mango Based Balm. Accepting #Bitcoin ⚡️
North Carolina, USA
Joined April 2022
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If you want to maximize your health, you need to be using beef tallow.
Here is everything you need to know about God's favorite fat:
(THREAD)
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Just applied for a job at this tallow skin care company.
Their first interview question: "when was the last time you sprinted?"
I told them I am sprinting right now.
They responded: "based."
I think I got the job, ma.
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Mew all day.
Better facial structure.
Better oxygen flow to your brain.
Aesthetics & Performance
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When the waiter says they don't carry Primal Kitchen dressings:
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You after:
> cutting out seed oils
> sprinting everyday
> leaving work to stare at the sun
> eating beef
> telling your boss you can do more pull-ups them him (ha, you're your own boss)
> telling chicks you put tallow on your skin
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When she says she loves Ethereum, wears sunscreen (the bad kind), is invested in Beyond Meat, eats Sweet Green for lunch, and tries to avoid red meat:
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There is a version of you that always eats the right food.
There is a version of you that never misses a workout.
There is a version of you that does the difficult thing.
You can bring that version of you to life, right now.
Make the choice.
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As A People, We Will Return To Tallow 💪🏼
Prior to the 1990's, McDonalds' famous french fries were cooked in Beef Tallow.
A millionaire (who believed saturated fat was the root cause of heart attacks) campaigned for McDonalds to switch to a "heart-healthy oil."
Consumers immediately noticed an impact on the taste.
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People used to just be healthy looking naturally.
What changed?
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When the waiter asks you if you'd like the Beyond Burger instead:
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The secret guide to embracing elite aesthetics:
1. Train like an athlete
‣ Sprint: be fast
‣ Rest: be relaxed
‣ Mobility: be durable
‣ Lift heavy: be strong
‣ Isometrics: be powerful
‣ Calisthenics: be dynamic
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Side effects of using only tallow products and eating red meat:
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When they say you shouldn't put beef tallow on your skin, but they sit inside all day and haven't sprinted since high school:
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Summer Looksmax Checklist 🌟
Meat & Fruit Max 🥩🍉
Weekly Sprints (Critical) 🏃♂️
Sun Daily (1 Rep Max) 🌞
Salt Water In The Lettuce 🌊🥬
Avoid Soy & Fiat Culture 🚫🧋
Beef Tallow On Your Skin 🐄
What did we miss?
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When life starts to get crazy but you're in such good health, always happy, never stressed, and ready to ride the wave 🌊
All cause you eat meat, get sun, and move 🥩 🌞 🏄♂️
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You have an obligation to be the greatest man that your bloodline has ever seen.
Tap into your potential starting today.
The world will thank you.
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It's not as hard as it looks.
The key is to just eat a bunch of meat, get more sun, do some sprints, and cut out seed oils.
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Do you know ANYONE who runs sprints that isn't an ABSOLUTE Chad/Stacy?
(rhetorical)
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Purely aesthetic, preserving the vibe 🌞
That's what we do here at Based Balm.
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Excessive Natural HGH Levels?
30 seconds of sprinting can elevate your HGH for 1.5-2 hours.
Here's why that's dangerous 🧵
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Sad?
Sprint
still sad?
back on the line
Still sad?
Another
Still sad?
Again.
You call that a sprint?
Idk.
Are you jogging or sprinting?
Uh spr-
I SAID - ARE YOU JOGGING OR SPRINTING?
Sprinting!
Back on the line.
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Vibin' into the weekend.
Sun's out.
Water's calm.
It's simple really.
All you need is some tallow balm.
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Guy on the left: eats beef, swims in the ocean daily, has a dog, watches Happy Gilmore every Tuesday, owns bitcoin, doesn't count calories.
Guy on the right: loves Chipotle, "stacks ETH", wears sunscreen inside, told his mom to invest in Impossible Foods, doesn't sprint (ever).
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The most unfairly slandered food on planet earth.
Nature’s multivitamin. Superfood⚡️
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The more pull-ups you can do, the more trustworthy you become.
One of the greatest curators physique physiognomy.
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Pov:
-You balm'd up
-The UV is 15
-Everyone around you has good physiognomy
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Lungs & Trees Were Designed For Each Other.
The Perfect Synergy.
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Sprinting Changes You:
🌴 Better Genetics
🌴 Works Explosive Fast Twitch
🌴 Egregious Natural HGH Levels
🌴 Better Physique & VO2
🌴 Increased Luck
If winning matters to you,
you need to be sprinting
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Us looking at disrupting the skin care industry by making memes and slinging tallow balm:
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"Mugsy, my boy! Just calling to tell you that we're back. We're so back."
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caffeine
-> better person
200mg - 400mg (human equivalent) of caffeine a day raised T and DHT in rats by 68% and 57% respectively.
Coffee is anabolic.
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Stop thinking about the wave you missed.
Take the next one, keep moving forward.
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UNVEILING “THE STRANGEST SECRET” BY EARL NIGHTINGALE 🔮
THREAD 🧵
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Remember Nose Breathing Only, Purge All Weakness From The System.
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Would You Look At That? 👀
Another Great Day To Rub Tallow & Mango Butter On Your Skin.
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The last thing the water sees when he says they cook in canola oil:
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GREAT DAY CHECKLIST 🤙
-Absurd Amount of Caffeine (Black Coffee only, no soygar)
-Sprints, Dropset Hector Yells (To Failure)
-Grassfed Steak
-Chug a glass of Pomegranate Juice
-Put some balm on and swim in some salt water
Warning: May improve genes/initiate side quests
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