lyss, esq. 🪄
@am_yers
Followers
2,799
Following
1,960
Media
191
Statuses
2,280
Public defendering near you 🫵 All bad jokes, no legal advice 💫 Now let's pretend you never saw me here 😌 JMU/NUSL (must I say views my own? really? well—)
VA
Joined July 2021
Don't wanna be here?
Send us removal request.
Explore trending content on Musk Viewer
バニーの日
• 259449 Tweets
STEP DOWN FASCIST HASINA
• 101691 Tweets
ブラジル
• 68095 Tweets
ヒロアカ
• 61263 Tweets
LINGORM MENTION TO U
• 48437 Tweets
#يوم_الجمعه
• 43270 Tweets
パンツの日
• 38479 Tweets
長岡花火
• 36752 Tweets
#MyLoveMixUpTHep9
• 36469 Tweets
#Akatuskijapan
• 30114 Tweets
デュエマ
• 24051 Tweets
Rainy Mood with NuNew
• 23531 Tweets
日本バスケ
• 21575 Tweets
騎乗停止
• 21093 Tweets
芝コース
• 20944 Tweets
角田大河
• 20838 Tweets
Fahrettin Altun
• 20797 Tweets
Teddy Riner
• 20012 Tweets
Osmar Olvera
• 17720 Tweets
逆バニー
• 15918 Tweets
#ビリスク
• 13929 Tweets
飲酒運転
• 13145 Tweets
ジュリオ
• 12127 Tweets
I wish I liked working a quarter as much as the 80-year-olds in politics
18
2K
24K
People in jail should be able to make free phone calls is a hill I'll die on
60
244
3K
Me after every happy hour with my colleagues
4
105
2K
I got a 617 the first time I took the bar. If you really want it, you'll try harder. You'll take four months off work. You'll enroll in that 2k prep course. You'll ask your parents to rent you out a quiet studio so you can focus. It's all about how hard you choose to study.
64
78
2K
Being an attorney is easy you just tell Judges how right you are and then they tell you you're dumb
12
158
2K
Advice for 1Ls: Argue with everyone. Raise your hand & say something really outrageous if everyone else agrees on the topic. Play the devil's advocate for every issue. Completely change your position if you're losing & keep going.
This is how you assert dominance & gain respect.
44
60
913
I recently became aware that some parents...gift entire down-payments?? For their kid to get a house? Like it's a common thing 🤔
100
37
879
Got a police report in discovery today that read (I wish I was kidding)... "We followed the car [6 blocks] to establish PC to conduct a traffic stop."
22
61
832
I once called the Judge "mom"
Pocket people, if you’re up for it, share a time you messed up.
Few things are a better antidote to imposter syndrome than hearing how others made mistakes—and lived to tell the tale.
I’ll start. Several years ago, I was an associate on a huge case. Both sides had hired some
58
17
246
24
23
662
For-cause'd ✨immediately✨
There’s been a lot of speculation about what I’m going to do next. I’m ready to end the rumors.
I’m on jury duty!
3K
351
4K
16
16
647
Never: "Hey haven't talked in a while how have you been?"
Always:
25
49
585
So I have this family member. Let's call her Kim. Kim has never understood how on earth anyone could ever represent ✨guilty people✨ (the shock! the horror!)
21
25
562
Being an attorney is easy you just listen to someone's crushing life story with no psychology training and then compartmentalize until the crushing weight of it all finds you in the middle of the night when you can't fall asleep and you're hit with existential nihilism and
10
105
526
It's not a child's job to fulfill a parent's emotional needs and I'll die on this hill
“If you don’t have children, you’re going to be lonely later in life”
If you don’t know how to make friends, just say that
4
8
109
5
50
451
What was the most useless law school class you took and why was it Professional Responsibility
34
12
444
Today, out of complete, brainless habit, I objected for leading before I even realized it was coming out of my mouth....the witness was 8 years old......lmao
16
5
423
"I get it. I do. Your client is a good person who just messed up. Hey, we all mess up. She's raising her kids alone, has no record. I'm with you. I'm here. I really hate having to prosecute cases like this.
My offer is plead to everything with cap 2 years above her high end."
6
37
397
Idk but pre-law school and in law school, I really thought I'd be using the constitution more in practice lol
37
11
364
🎉 Got a not guilty jury verdict from a 20 min deliberation today 🎉
18
5
341
And the moral of this story is, Kim was thiiiiiiiiiissssssss 🤏 close to getting it. Except when I pointed that out... "Well this is different. I know his family."
3
4
337
@lalalivy28
No I had to pass ASAP since my uncle's law firm was holding a position open for me. I really had to try hard.
4
2
300
After "Don't talk to police" the most important thing I wish I could scream at people is COME TO COURT WHEN SUMMONED 😡
10
30
285
Has a sov cit ever actually won on their arguments in any case? How on earth are they getting people to PAY for this...
Sovereign citizen seminar in Oklahoma this past weekend. Everybody there paid $$$ to be there.
193
127
744
45
15
286
I have something terrible to tell you about practicing 😬
"Law school! Wow, debate me on xyz" Actually I can't because I don't argue with stupid people.
1
3
18
9
26
282
If your aim is top of the class, it's hard. If your aim is graduating law school, you're right lol.
I also think lots of people go into law school never having worked a real, full-time job, and much of their difficulty is acclimating to the time commitment.
10
9
242
Not legal advice but when criming, maybe don't wear a bright neon yellow puffer jacket
17
18
237
There are 2 attorneys in my office in particular who are especially good at saying "Don't bullshit me" but in the most lowkey, nice way ever and I hope to have their patience and self control one day 🥺
8
5
226
God I fucking hate that feeling I get when an additional discovery email comes in and it's all jail calls
20
3
220
My fifth cousin just received his rejection letter from the Ivy my daddy got his PhD. He had an average score on his world history final, a 2.8 GPA, and he's got 105k subs on his CoD stream. Despite all this, he didn't get in. Why? We know why.
11
5
219
@3L_strugglebus
Of course your apartment has maid service, no? Personally I asked mother to share their chef twice a week as well for meal prep. Just some tips for you to try!
1
4
212
My fav lawyer dad joke is telling my client "Hope I never see you again!" after their case and laughing every time cuz I'm so funny
8
14
190
A client in custody left me a message saying, "You can reach me at....well, I'm in jail. You know where that is, right? Come reach me here please." 😂😂
1
6
188
I just know 😡 that my loser of a probation violation case tomorrow 😡 is gonna end with me crying 😡 because it's shitty that someone 😡 plead a 15 year old straight out 😡 to all counts 😡 back in the 1980s and now 😡 he's violating probation after serving 😡 40 years 😡
12
8
173
I'm 30 w no kids & never been married, and if someone out there (looking at you hometown) ever thinks, "Well damn then something must be wrong w her..."
You're absolutely right and actually it's *many* things 😂
7
9
173
Judge⚖️: If it's statutorily mandated, do you think I have the authority to do otherwise?
Me😇: Your Honor, I think you have the authority to do whatever you want in any case.
11
3
170
My secretary is out so I thought, why not, submitting a motion myself isn't that hard!!
And then proceeded to submit a motion with the wrong client's name on the cover letter 😂
7
2
166
Ngl if I heard an officer said this best believe I'm making a point to show up to every trial he's testifying in 😂
1
2
160
Seeing law students do ootd on here makes me realize I really, reeeeeally underdressed in law school 😅😂
22
5
149
You know, one of the more existentially depressing things you see in this job are people who prefer being in jail
8
13
145
Lame, overused: This does not reach the threshold of beyond a reasonable doubt that our great country requires in criminal trials
Fresh, relatable: Do you hear all this bullshit? Cmon now
5
16
148
Everytime I get to work at 6 I knock out a ton of shit before 9 and then sit in my office the rest of the day like, "Ehhh idk I already did a lot today, I can do this new stuff tomorrow..." lmao (y am I like this I hate myself)
7
4
141
Well, he's a good kid, Kim says. That's not fair. He shouldn't get a felony or serve any time! All he did was make a stupid mistake, and the kid who got hurt is undergoing surgeries. He'll probably get his vision back. Community service would be enough. So dumb.
4
3
135
Also not legal advice but don't wear said puffer jacket to your court date
11
6
136
Being a criminal trial attorney is just aggressively masking introversion for hours on end and then confusing everyone who knows you from work when they see you in the real world
9
8
134
@dfsparks
@lalalivy28
I also like to spend my off-time thinking of ways to increase the impact and efficiency of the carceral state
1
0
132
Being an attorney is easy you just wait to cry until you make it to the courthouse bathroom
1
7
131
Over xmas, she told me about her friend's 20 y/o kid who threw a lit firework into a frat house and another kid lost an eye. She wanted to know what he's charged with. So I looked it up: agg mal wound, which carries the potential of life in VA
2
3
130
Lately I hate everything about this profession 🙄 why didn't I become a chef 🙄
11
3
123
Was scrolling and came across a clip of some podcast where the dude kept saying "In Texas they let a party divorce even if the other party disagrees" and "she didn't wanna be married anymore...and in the state of Texas, that's completely permitted"
Are we...arguing divorce now🤨
17
3
117
A client's mother has called me five(5!) separate times to ask if she should hire her son a real lawyer. I always encourage people to retain if they want, but once I've told you 1 time "Ma'am, I *am* a real lawyer." & you continue saying it...I'ma assume you're just being rude.
11
0
116
Why was I not born to outrageously wealthy parents who also don't care if I do absolutely nothing with my life
6
5
108
Whenever a big discussion around a crim case happens outside of the little attorney-world bubble (Masterson's conviction, in this instance) I'm reminded once again just how much American society as a whole really doesn't give a shit about anything except punishment.
2
10
110
The local jail in my jurisdiction has only 2 in-person attorney visit slots a day. There's only 4 working monitors in video visitation otherwise. They don't allow visits between 11-12:30, after 4, or any weekends.
FOUR WORKING MONITORS. THERE'S 22 ATTORNEYS IN MY PD OFFICE ALONE
14
9
110
Being an attorney is easy you just send emails and then wait 12-18 business days for a response
1
8
108
On rebuttal: "Ask yourselves as you're deliberating, is there any amount of evidence that would satisfy Miss Myers?"
Me @ counsel table trying desperately not to LOL: [No there is not. I am, in fact, insatiable.]
3
1
108
Do male attorneys have to deal with masturbating clients or is that a uniquely female crim defense thing 😂
48
8
108
Thoughts and prayers to all the PDs out there this glorious Monday morning after a 4-day holiday weekend who pulled the arraignment docket 🙏
3
8
107
Don't worry. This job didn't make me depressed. I had a depressive disorder long before I became an attorney 🥰
2
3
102
Someone outside of work finds out you're an attorney and immediately you're fielding hypos...like Sir, please, I'm trying to be a normal human right now
4
10
105
Very few things irritate me more than someone saying "you don't act like an attorney" or "you don't look like an attorney" or "when will you leave PD and become a real lawyer" like i hope you get caught in traffic every morning for the next two weeks
12
7
105
The bad thing about that tweet are the people agreeing, thinking I was serious 😐
7
1
99
Look you either know not to sleep with your clients before pro res or you're never gonna learn
0
1
97
@am_yers
The more public defenders I come across on Twitter the more I realize you are truly bad people.
You have obligations to your parents just as they have obligations to you.
How are you still a spoiled child at this big age?
8
0
1
7
3
96
Do you look your age? Post a pic!
30😂😂
11
0
89
My colleague snapped this wonderful pic of me listening to another colleague's phone call......guess what was being said 🤣
11
0
88
Gonna speak my truth today. I still don't know what a commercial paper is, and I'm never going to (forcefully)
10
3
87
To work in a public defender's office is to be surrounded with the most non-judgemental judgemental people you'll ever meet 😂
2
1
85
@sweetabolition
Uncle will sue them if they try I have a constitutional first amendment right on Twitter
1
0
82
Haven't heard it in a while, so I actually lol'ed when someone said they'd take a public offender this morning at arraignments 😂
4
3
82
@LDBlondePod
Tell that to my legacy acceptance at Harvard (I'm sure you've heard of it) and the first year partner track I was already offered before I even applied to law school.
1
2
82
The weekly texts of being the only attorney the people you grew up with and their families know 😅
2
7
79
Community College saved me tons, including the thousands I would've wasted if I hadn't taken 3 years off after hs & dropped outta undergrad a year in instead. Plus the people were cooler. And, I was able to work more than during the 4yr, so I was making money 🤷♀️
10
1
78
Years later, I still randomly think about it every few months and want to die
2
1
76
Me @ 5am Friday: Def not going to the happy hour tonight
Me @ 10am Friday: Okay, def not getting sloshed at the happy hour tonight
Me @ 3pm Friday: Let's go to the happy hour early
4
3
75
Didn't realize every assault ever was actually attempted murder 🤔
@SteamboatUSA
Is your TV broken? He jumped over the bench and tried to murder the judge, in open court, on video and assaulted er clerk and a deputy.
3
0
0
9
3
74
I love my frequent little 2-hour bursts of energy when I finish something I've put off for a month, wonder why I did that to myself, and swear it'll never happen again
3
2
75
I feel like if I had a "normal" amount of cases I wouldn't even know what to do with my time?
11
2
74
@AttyErinS
Pools are nice!! Some weekends me and some other bar prep friends go lay out on dad's yacht docked in the marina downtown. You should try it once! So relaxing! Everyone needs a study break now and then, even those of us who are studying the most.
1
0
73
Client is taking a shitty plea despite me trying to convince them otherwise and it's further going to validate the shitty behavior from the CW in giving that plea so I feel like screaming after court is over
3
1
72
Taking a week off is nice until you get to the Monday after taking a week off
1
3
70