habitual line-stepper
@alaskastardust
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wife4wife• I’d rather be listening to critically acclaimed 1991 hit “All This Time” by rock artist Sting off the certified platinum album The Soul Cages
WV/MA
Joined April 2013
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@bornposting
He created the nipple batsuit is what he did!!! He was a visionary and a homosexual icon and in this house, Joel Schumacher was a hero, end of story!!
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all the "just take the bus" people are reminding me of how when I was in college, I was denied a job after the interviewer asked increasingly specific questions aimed at determining if I could work without relying on our local bus system
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“They won’t stop with Roe”
They didn’t start with it either, you just didn’t consider anti-trans mobilization a legitimate attack on human rights.
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yeah it’s called when my wife and I stop somewhere and get two sandwiches but we swap halves so each of us gets to try two different sandwiches
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walking into somebody’s house, where they pay rent, and trying to dictate how they are dressed at an hour when most people are asleep. every day I am alerted to some kind of bewildering behavior
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“I don’t understand what the big deal about the eclipse is”
humans have always been in awe of the celestial. we love seeing what the sky is doin. you have lost your way, homo sapien. remember who you are
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the day we had to take my mom off her ventilator, I gave her a kiss on the forehead and told her I loved her.
and she croaked out, “you need a tic tac”
Me (lying next to 4yo as he falls asleep, thinking about the brevity of life and trying to impress this very moment in my memory for when he is grown): I love you
4yo (whispering very softly): Daddy you need a mint
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When I was a kid, everyone told me that when I grew up and started seeing taxes being taken out of my check, I would get more conservative but the opposite has happened because I look at my paycheck and I’m like “I pay this much in taxes just for people to be unhoused and unfed?“
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being the jobless beard of an unimaginably rich man who leaves me alone is the absolute fuckin dream. some people have all the luck
People asking how to pronounce Rose Hanbury Cholmondeley, Prince William's mistress' name, when they should be asking why her husband lives in France with his boyfriend.
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the wildest thing about this is that I was always taught there were certain topics best avoided at gatherings because they could be divisive, only for family elders to turn around and freely bring up those topics and call anyone who dares to disagree “argumentative“
When you’re the wokest one in your family
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Laverne, at age 11, has learned that she can nip people to get their attention. It’s cool that she can still learn new things but why are these things never “being nice”
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I really do not feel bad for any employer who complains about being short staffed. You know how not to be short staffed. That sounds like a you problem.
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Any scam that says “you can’t tell your spouse about this“ is simply not going to get my ass because if I experience even a moment of uncertainty or discomfort, I am complaining to my wife. If there’s one thing I’m gonna do it’s complain to my wife.
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In the wild, a raccoon has a life expectancy of about 2 to 3 years, but in captivity, a raccoon can live up to 20 years. It's time to bring them all inside.
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they finally did this and yall are being So Mean about it
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I don't want any other major productions about serial killers unless the focus is primarily on the vast number of documented instances in which cops have fucked up investigations into their crimes
Evan Peters is set to play American serial killer Jeffrey Dahmer in Ryan Murphy's upcoming limited series for Netflix titled ‘Monster: The Jeffrey Dahmer Story.’
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🫠
BREAKING: A 65-year-old man has been charged with second-degree murder after police say he shot at a car that had mistakenly turned into his driveway Saturday night.
20-year-old Kaylin A. Gillis, from Saratoga County, was killed.
FULL DETAILS:
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"but they can't do that"
well they fuckin did, Theresa
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“Stanley Kubrick’s racist daughter” is a fresh new character I didn’t see coming.
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for the record I am very pro public transportation or walking everywhere when you can. but to just broadly say "well simply--" when our society has been deliberately structured to discourage people from not driving is fuckin crazy
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people in the Midwest are so nice someone in the bathroom was like “cocaine?” and I was like “I don’t have any” and they were like “no I’m sharing”
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so many people are just the guy described in this post now
If I go out eating and fucking smell Bluerazz or some strawberry shit I’m blowing up the fucking place u can fucking wait an hour to hit that stupid shit
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feels relevant
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Interviewer: fellas, is it gay t—
Cast of Jackass: absolutely, with pride
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My wife is now calling this the “Nancy Reagan” tea
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still stunned with the abruptness with which "follow your dreams, go to college, see the world" became "maybe you should have become an engineer if you wanted to have teeth and also a house"
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th Nightmare Before Christmas is my favorite movie about a guy who does cultural appropriation so hard the military shoots him with an anti-aircraft missile
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@ayam__maya
My girlfriend and I both arriving at our wedding to see there’s another bride there
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went to the Dog Chapel in Vermont where people leave tributes to their beloved pets. cried A Lot
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if I’m being real I mostly had specific adults in my life I very much did not want to end up like
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@jimychangas
rocketing straight to the top of the most bullshit firing stories I have ever heard
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"Spanish food is so excellent because it didn't get influenced by other cultures/religions" gotta be one of the top sentences I have read on this website
@simonsarris
@PrinceVogel
Spanish food is so excellent because it didn't get influenced by other cultures/religions.
Olive oil, and bread production is just our base layer. We know cow is the best meat but it's expensive.
Civil wars also made the spanish food be made with simple and cheap ingredients.
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crying. have u ever seen anything so lovely
There’s a thunderstorm right now and I found this snail staring at the sky lol
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She won the popular vote but people would rather blame the disenfranchised masses for not voting hard enough instead of admitting the system is rigged
Just a little four-year-anniversary reminder that YOU SHOULD NOT NEGLECT TO VOTE
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Gordon Ramsay’s wife is expecting their fifth child. As much as he complains about it, it seems he really does love FUCKING RAW!!!!
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please stop showing me the detransitioner poet who dresses like a ventriloquist’s dummy. your dunks are not good enough to warrant the risk of me ever having to see one of their posts
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I do this to my wife’s ears all the time. she says “are you horse lippin me?” and I say no, like a liar
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@SamtheNightOwl
A guy I went to college with told me "no one is racist in southern WV because everyone was black in the coal mines." My roommate and I burst out laughing at the absurdity of that statement he got SUPER mad at us because he genuinely believed this to be true
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I get the people who are saying that this is a covert attempt at flirting because I’ve seen enough shit like that at this point. But in what world, as the receiver of this text, are you supposed to want to fuck the guy who is trying to tell you to cover up in your own home
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thinking about when our system at work went down for a whole day and when we called to ask about it, we were just told it was "a fireball in the server room" and when we finally got ahold of someone else to ask them to elaborate they said "there was a fireball in the server room"
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it’s all “social etiquette for thee, but not for me” until you’re mad I called your bluff in front of grandma and had the confrontation you were confident everybody would be polite enough to dance around
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Every other week the federal government is standing there with its hand out as I get paid and every time I’m like “dawg what happened to the money I just gave you???“
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FOLKS!!!!!!! YOU’RE HEARIN ABOUT IT!!!!!
Every time I go farther north I hope I will see one. I have not. But one day I will and you people will hear about it
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Breaking my silence: this color is not orange, it's called "cream" or "buff"
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trying to eat a tin of fish with my cat around
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@FISHBON3Z
A mother’s instinct to notify her child that they are musty is incredible. Nature is so beautiful
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white women stop putting the word "crack" in recipe titles challenge
your almond flour muffins are indeed bangin, but they're not quite good enough to destroy families and communities
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ordered 2 pounds of potatoes from the farm share people and got a single 2 pound potato
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The same exact people who refused to wear a mask because they didn’t want to “live in fear” are so permanently wound up by the news and local Facebook reports of unfamiliar cars in the area that they’re liable to blow you away within seconds of seeing you drive past their houses
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polyamory is a long con with the end goal of netting more people to play tabletop rpgs with. I’m onto y’all.
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my pepperoni rolls and Mothman joke is the WV Day post that blew up, but to me this is the post that truly captures the essence of West Virginia
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“All you have to say is that you have transportation”
Duh. Why do you think the increasingly specific questions were necessary, jackass
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@celine_dionysus
Yep. they are Not slick when the next question after "do you have reliable transportation" is "Can you work this shift or this shift (that conveniently falls precisely outside of the run times for the first and last buses)"
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IN THIS HOUSE WE don’t skip the Sopranos intro
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@SamtheNightOwl
this was more or less the reading level of at least 50% of the students I graduated with. to this day I cannot believe our school got away with this.
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when I saw the alien in Asteroid City I couldn’t wait to get out of the theater and text my brother “saw you at the movies today”
When you’re watching a movie with your buddy and you see a really fucked up or dumb guy
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I’m not about to go back and forth with anyone on which oppression came first, the chicken or the egg, but it does feel bad to watch everyone I know say “hey. This is not solely about trans people” for years only for this ruling to come as a total surprise
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Every other social media post from a small town is some shit like “I saw a weird guy in Walmart and had the associate walk me out to my car/I found a gum wrapper near my car and was almost trafficked/I saw a new car in town please be careful”
Unsustainable levels of fear!!!!
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also like regardless of his intentions, based on all the information we have been presented with at this time, he is telling a woman to cover up in her own home at 3 am. why do you feel the need to "correct" me instead of engaging with what I am saying, which is that that's weird
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guys. scroll *one* tweet down and take 5 seconds to read the above reply before explaining to me that it's an attempt at flirting. I see that angle. I have acknowledged it. thanks. but also my only roommate is my wife so this guy and I are clearly in different places
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West Virginia Day is tomorrow so don’t forget to set out some pepperoni rolls and Mountain Dew for Mothman
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appreciate everyone defending her honor but this is what Laverne looked like the last time she was not up to some kind of mischief
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thousands of years may separate me from humans of the past, our lives so different, but we all looked at the sky and were like “yoooooooooooooo” and I think that’s beautiful
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@SamtheNightOwl
I don't think that particular region is any more or less racist than anywhere else I've been but COME ON NOW
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I still somehow got a quote tweet on this saying “nobody wants to work“ so it looks like I do actually need to spell it out for those the education system failed: if you give people incentives to work for you, they will apply for the jobs you are offering
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went to the Maine Coast Sardine History Museum today, lads
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“I need her/I can fix her“
you are weak, your bloodline is weak, and you will not survive the winter
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My nana passed away a few days ago. She thought it was funny to put unlit cigs in my mouth when I was a baby and she was right
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I didn’t realize they just popped off like that wtf
RARE SIGHTING: Drone footage captured the moment a moose shed both its antlers in a forest in New Brunswick. The wildlife enthusiast says capturing both antlers shedding is a “once-in-a-lifetime moment.”
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Please don’t break the window. The heat is on. He has a can of Monster, and is listening to Oingo Boingo.
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@kirbaqueen
YES!!! the place that didn't hire me was Target and sincerely.....if I'd had money for a car, would I have been applying for a $7.25 an hour job at Target???
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Just got to the part in this book by John Waters where he mentions that he was on a show with Justin Bieber when Justin said “your stache is the jam.” John offered up his Maybelline mustache pencil and Justin took him up on the offer, I’m losin it
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@Vomit_Dragon
please remember to take care of yourself and change your oil from time to time
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“I can’t believe Twitter keeps changing all these things and not giving us an edit button”
Look at the state of this website. Really look at it. Do any of these people seem like they would responsibly use an edit button
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I’ve seen an alarming number of people respond to this with some variation of “I’d kick that cat out/cause it physical harm” and if that’s your reaction I cannot stress how much you do not need to have pets or children
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@YaBoiThey
Honestly. Time comes for us all but pls do not project your disgust at that onto this guy who is simply vibing
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LET HIM READ!!!!
The library is a safe space for *almost* all. Snakes are gently escorted from the building.
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@hauntedholley
Her time may have been limited but her attitude was not. I know that’s right.
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Very good and cool to see people employed as EMTs posting shit like this
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dude in Atlanta saw my West Virginia sweatshirt and said “I heard y’all have terrible cell service” and I was shook because it might be the only truly accurate thing anyone outside the state has ever told me they’ve heard about WV
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the whole thing was was very "cats ate her face"
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Me defending WV from people outside the state even tho it continues to disappoint me
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@unclevanya69
On one hand ok yeah I’ve been here for hours pounding shitty hospital coffee, my breath probably smells crazy. On the other hand I was standing there in the ICU like
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I understand that the opioid crisis is really taking its toll on people in the medical field. However if you hate addicts this much maybe pick a career that does not require you to interact with them.
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Like even with Dahmer alone (and not even counting all the cops or ex cops that turned out to be serial killers), police literally returned a boy to Dahmer’s place after he escaped from him while naked and covered in blood!
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