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@absur_titties
Followers
326
Following
307
Media
490
Statuses
10,170
leo girlie 💕 misandrist. chronic oversharrer. attention whore. ACAB. 🍉
Joined October 2020
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Pinned Tweet
He said “stop, you have a perfect snowflake on your eyebrow”
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@SheRatesDogs
This is one of the grossest things I’ve ever read. And I know he thought he was being funny and sweet 🤢
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Local stoner girly wondering if she’s allowed to look like a cutie patootie today
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@carlyhcooper
You should honestly just say that. Let people act shocked, it’s the truth. Also I’m sorry that you have to work up until then, you’re doing great
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Boys always ask me how I’m single when I’m this cute but they don’t seem to like it when I answer that I’m picky, clinically insane and emotionally dysregulated. Sorry babes xoxo
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if ur not in the bottom quartile of your med class, I don’t wanna hear you complaining about your scores !! Some of us are actually stupid !
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@Mujtvba1
Almost every conflict in Bollywood and tollywood could be solved by a simple phone call or text. I strongly stand by this
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my bf is so lucky to have a hot, slutty gf who is also a doctor and a homeowner
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If I’ve ever thrown up on your dick, I’m sorry. I will not be elaborating
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@corgiseveryhour
@KILLTOPARTY
Men would rather grow a beard than lose weight or learn what a short torso is
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Got to the gym, found out my headphones were dead and STILL worked out, can everyone say good job?
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It fit :)
I have decided to work out like crazy this week so I can attempt to fit into one for a wedding this weekend
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My toxic trait is that I think every cute guy is flirting with me even when they’re telling me about their wife.
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@Iotheyare
@SHRUG_EMOTICON2
@AnarchaDyke
but like, don’t tell her what to do honey, that’s not cool.
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If I’ve ever thrown up on your dick, I’m sorry. I will not be elaborating
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Girls will say oops in the cutest voice and then hit the biggest ditch you’ve ever seen
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it's the last month of the year, quote with your favorite pictures of yourself this year.
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The other day I took a shit ton of mirror selfies cause I thought I kind of looked like Victoria from twilight
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every time I’m in a video call, the only thing I can think about is how pretty I look
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@MichaelaOkla
Correct babe, and let me tell u, from a medical standpoint, it’s perfectly safe. Enjoy queen
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The first two years of m*d sch**l were literally so horrible that I cannot even fathom that I don’t wanna d*e rn. I had lost all hope for the future, I can’t believe I like what I’m doing rn
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Just got Covid for the first time ever. I’m embarrassed. Wanna die
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Forg stop dragging all your friends to the Taco Bell cantina just cause they have good lighting
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Walking through this hospital for maybe? The last time and feeling so senti…. Like this was where I learned everything. My home, my city. It’s such a good hospital and I’m so proud to train here even though they didn’t want me for the next 3-4 years (🖕🏾) . Oh well lmao
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Just left a date to go get ice cream by myself cause that sounded more fun
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it’s new year’s eve and i wanna see your best lewds/nudes of 2022, reply or quote yall 🤍
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Asked my boyfriend to send me pictures from this weekend and it’s just
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Made eye contact with the hottest guy at the bar and he came up to me and said “do you remember me?” ??? No sir but damn I wish I did
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Saturday night vibe check 🌷Cutie girl having a cutie smoke. Reply with your sat night vibes
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Bitches really get a haircut and start acting different. It’s me, I’m bitches
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You guys he called me and left me a VOICEMAIL to let me know he was thinking of me, how cute and boomer
On a date with a >30 year old and this is such a great sociological experience
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Tonight’s dude gave me a neck massage and an orgasm. This dude from last summer texted me for my address to send me a Polaroid camera he promised to get me a year ago
hahaha life is good tonight
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Met some dude on my tour today and then we all went out to a bar and as I was explaining all of my tattoos, I realized how easy it is to fall in love with me. I’m so cool. 🤷🏾♀️
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How does everyone have so much energy? And happiness? And mental capacity?? Or physical capacity??
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I have lived somewhere different every month since June….. no wonder I am going insane
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Taylor and Travis’s relationship has just taught me that every woman just needs a himbo that’s mesmerized by them
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Got a massage and the whole time the lady was just flabbergasted at how tight my whole body was 🙃
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