flaviusvalens
@flaviusvalens1
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6,755
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5,473
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88,650
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Pinned Tweet
Hello tie-dye friends! My commissions are still open, but please note turnaround times are 60+ days as I catch up on existing orders. Prices are the same ($80 C*rhartt/$60 basic brand short sleeve, $90/$70 long sleeve tee, free US ship). DM w/ interest or questions! 🫡
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Weird-looking cigarette smokers with bad tattoos keep our nation's restaurant kitchens running. These people are the salt of the earth
Where does she work and what does she do?
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Challengers (2024)
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Also if this tweet gets back to the woman in the picture, I didn't mean "bad" tattoos in a mean way & you look cool & I would hire you to work in a restaurant & I look weird too
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It is 2004. I am reading bisexual discourse on a web forum.
It is 2014. I am reading bisexual discourse on Facebook.
It is 2024. I am reading bisexual discourse on Twitter
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One of my all-time favorite dieworkwear moments. I love seeing people use their platforms to put bigots and bullies in their place
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One of the biggest mindfucks of Twitter is that you'll see your mutuals interacting with Creepo the Vile (25 victims came forward) & you have to wonder if your mutuals are cool with Creepo's actions or just weren't online the six times that Creepo got called out on the timeline
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Pirate shirts like these reached their popularity in the year 1738. Please Google "Jerry Seinfeld 17 38" to learn more about this important time in history!
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Some of my European mutuals don't believe that many families in the U.S. observe the tradition of sitting quietly and listening to the entirety of "Free Bird" before opening presents on the morning of the 25th.
American mutuals, could y'all please back me up on this?
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Not a joke or an own or a dunk, but can someone Canadian explain to me what is illegal here? Is it the boxcutter?
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Male mutual talking to me: Love talking about D&D with you, sir. Here are some psychedelic rock recommendations. Brothers respecting brothers.
Same male mutual DMing one of my female friends unsolicited: I want to spit on your butthole. I want to wear your skin as a vest
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@themichaelest
Waffle House cooks who look like this always fight well above their weight class
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Band kids were complete freaks when I was in high school
Just dropped my son off at a math club competition. Next weekend he has marching band. We’re doing everything possible to make sure he stays a virgin. Is this purity culture??
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Fellas, is it gay to knock your wife up and then love and care for the daughter that results from your union?
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This dude makes a skullet look cool as hell
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@alystentothis
I've had some regrettable hookups, but never any regrettable times playing Civilization or Rome.
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Wrong. Check out this Roman dog grave:
these things are a sign of a declining society
you have mental illness if you desire to provide for and nurture a creature that brings no value in return to your household
hundreds of years ago people would have never simply because they had self respect
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Deleted this because the ***** ******** fandom found me
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forbidden Chex mix
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@reddskyy_
It's so scary. I wish I knew who she was so I could send her money to help her escape this evil freak
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Ball is life, sir
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I think the worst style trend among white guys was the "super skinny jeans with a long deep v-neck tee" era. These guys just look like they're Australians or from Pittsburgh
This has to be the worst style trend among White guys. What are we doing as a society to let this annoying shit happen.
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Fellas, is it gay to drink lemonade?
On a date and he ordered lemonade…. Do you think this should be a deal breaker?? Could he still be a real man?
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@oh_indigo_
@curiocactus
Why is there a lingerie photo and a horse picture in this woman's death announcement??
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Me and the boys walking on Arrakis without alerting any sandworms
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@HannahPosted
What does being fat have to do with giving advice to your friends? Serious question
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@RachelMComedy
Zero sexual assault allegations, so he's actually not like the average male comedian
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If I had a girlfriend, I would make her a cursed Stitch cake
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How do straight women flirt? Honest question, not a joke setup (trying to learn). Posted this earlier but deleted and am reposting it with it set to mutuals only
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Am I missing something or is this a Democrat advocating for...the right to get your fingers cut off by a table saw?
A new rule mandating finger-detection technology in table saws could raise costs by hundreds of dollars and result in a government-mandated monopoly.
I introduced a bipartisan bill to protect consumer choice and block this mandate until the patents for this tech are made public.
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Haters who said I wouldn't dye sundresses for respected mutuals have been real quiet recently
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DJ Khaled:
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@Very__Regular
Cradle Catholics tend to have way more of a sense of humor about things than converts
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People from 2000 to 2009 were obsessed with bacon. People in the 2020s are obsessed with hot dogs. What were people in the 2010s obsessed with food-wise? I honestly can't remember 🤔
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Okay. Catholic or Protestant?
All art can be divided into Catholic and Protestant.
Name a piece of media. I’ll tell you which one it is.
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So Drake's defense is "I expected you would call me a pedophile! By the way, you were molested as a kid"
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Too small. This is clearly Scrappy
This is the Scoobyest looking dog I have ever seen.
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Joe Jonas reveals that Sophie Turner "bought a tie-dye shirt from Twitter user flaviusvalens1. The patterns were interesting to look at and several people complimented her on it," according to TMZ
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Blame it all on my roots, I showed up in Croots / and ruined your black tie affair
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Haters who said I wouldn't wear the hand-knit buffalo sweater have been real quiet lately
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Ireland has fought numerous wars for survival against the world's longest-lived terrorist organization, the British Empire
#Israel
has fought 4 wars for its survival against Islamist enemies since its birth as a state.
#Ireland
has fought 0.
Rule of thumb: If you have no experience and don't know what you're talking about, it's usually prudent to not offer unsolicited "advice"
#IsraelUnderAttack
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First thing I noticed is that they serve hippos
My favourite thing about this is that it’s a “Fancy Restaurant” but there’s no crockery and the meal is a burger.
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So we finally hit "fellas, is it gay to enjoy sex with women?"
Sex is for making children.
Any man who has sex with women because it "feels good" is gay.
Oh my pee pee feels good this is great!
In fact if you are 40 with less than 5 children you're probably gay.
All that feel-good pee pee sex and hardly any genetic legacy?
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Why not. Who gives a fuck
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I was scrolling and thought this was a picture of Biden that a liberal had edited to look strong
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Haters who said I didn't dye corduroy jackets haven't had much to say lately
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When I was a kid this cost $2.99 and if you tipped $1.50 the waitress would slip you a loose cigarette as long as you looked at least fourteen. We didn't know how good we had it
A one topping slice of za with 6 wings tossed in any flavor with a soda for $10.50 what a gem of a lunch spot in urban Atlanta
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bro what the fuck could Jolene have possibly looked like
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@superloafcat
Is "touch me while your bros play Grand Theft Auto" an actual lyric from the new Taylor album???
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@nazzobetweeting
Am gonna gamble and assume this guy has never had a girlfriend or seen a naked woman irl
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@CaitCamelia
It does prepare you for living in a studio apartment with your ex because neither of y'all can afford to move out after the breakup
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Haters who said I would not wear a vintage Hartford Whalers Starter jacket haven't had much to say lately
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Evolution was a mistake. Our lost innocence cries out to us accusingly
Oh to feel the freedom of a newborn duckling running on lilypads
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I fail to beat the "he tie-dyes sundresses" allegations
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