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flaviusvalens

@flaviusvalens1

Followers
5,952
Following
6,755
Media
5,473
Statuses
88,650

Some guy

Joined December 2020
Don't wanna be here? Send us removal request.
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Pinned Tweet
@flaviusvalens1
flaviusvalens
11 months
Hello tie-dye friends! My commissions are still open, but please note turnaround times are 60+ days as I catch up on existing orders. Prices are the same ($80 C*rhartt/$60 basic brand short sleeve, $90/$70 long sleeve tee, free US ship). DM w/ interest or questions! 🫡
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@flaviusvalens1
flaviusvalens
8 days
Weird-looking cigarette smokers with bad tattoos keep our nation's restaurant kitchens running. These people are the salt of the earth
@ValidatedIdeas1
Christopher Hughart (Author)
8 days
Where does she work and what does she do?
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@flaviusvalens1
flaviusvalens
11 months
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@flaviusvalens1
flaviusvalens
5 months
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@flaviusvalens1
flaviusvalens
1 month
Challengers (2024)
@_todayinthelife
Chad MacMaster ♞
1 month
my man 😎
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@flaviusvalens1
flaviusvalens
5 months
@lvamsgatthebeep He has the energy for pranks but not to do the dishes
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@flaviusvalens1
flaviusvalens
15 days
@HannahPosted Wouldn't this also tank the value of your house?
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@flaviusvalens1
flaviusvalens
24 days
@roastmalone_ Is there a Chihuahua in a cowboy hat in the last panel sitting on the chair?
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@flaviusvalens1
flaviusvalens
6 months
@iPhoneluvrr Is she blowing into a breathalyzer?
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@flaviusvalens1
flaviusvalens
11 months
@pattycooltweets Dude couldn't handle those thighs
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@flaviusvalens1
flaviusvalens
1 month
No.
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@flaviusvalens1
flaviusvalens
8 days
Also if this tweet gets back to the woman in the picture, I didn't mean "bad" tattoos in a mean way & you look cool & I would hire you to work in a restaurant & I look weird too
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@flaviusvalens1
flaviusvalens
11 months
@LucyD1am0nd The "beard" is the real crime
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@flaviusvalens1
flaviusvalens
3 years
@abbygov Maybe they should cancel math instruction because of Arabic numerals
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@flaviusvalens1
flaviusvalens
3 years
@nikitadumptruck "one of my best friends is straight"
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@flaviusvalens1
flaviusvalens
3 months
It is 2004. I am reading bisexual discourse on a web forum. It is 2014. I am reading bisexual discourse on Facebook. It is 2024. I am reading bisexual discourse on Twitter
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@flaviusvalens1
flaviusvalens
6 months
One of my all-time favorite dieworkwear moments. I love seeing people use their platforms to put bigots and bullies in their place
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@flaviusvalens1
flaviusvalens
11 months
@simpcollections Dude is off his fucking rocker lmao
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@flaviusvalens1
flaviusvalens
7 months
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@flaviusvalens1
flaviusvalens
4 months
One of the biggest mindfucks of Twitter is that you'll see your mutuals interacting with Creepo the Vile (25 victims came forward) & you have to wonder if your mutuals are cool with Creepo's actions or just weren't online the six times that Creepo got called out on the timeline
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@flaviusvalens1
flaviusvalens
1 month
Pirate shirts like these reached their popularity in the year 1738. Please Google "Jerry Seinfeld 17 38" to learn more about this important time in history!
@lvamsgatthebeep
millie bobby valentine
1 month
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@flaviusvalens1
flaviusvalens
2 years
Some of my European mutuals don't believe that many families in the U.S. observe the tradition of sitting quietly and listening to the entirety of "Free Bird" before opening presents on the morning of the 25th. American mutuals, could y'all please back me up on this?
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@flaviusvalens1
flaviusvalens
3 years
@emmapants @nori_reed The thing with your cat is really fucked up
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@flaviusvalens1
flaviusvalens
3 years
@nikitadumptruck "Don't travel to Uganda" lmfaooooo
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@flaviusvalens1
flaviusvalens
7 months
Not a joke or an own or a dunk, but can someone Canadian explain to me what is illegal here? Is it the boxcutter?
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@flaviusvalens1
flaviusvalens
2 years
Male mutual talking to me: Love talking about D&D with you, sir. Here are some psychedelic rock recommendations. Brothers respecting brothers. Same male mutual DMing one of my female friends unsolicited: I want to spit on your butthole. I want to wear your skin as a vest
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@flaviusvalens1
flaviusvalens
8 days
@themichaelest Waffle House cooks who look like this always fight well above their weight class
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@flaviusvalens1
flaviusvalens
2 months
Band kids were complete freaks when I was in high school
@drewdyck
Drew
2 months
Just dropped my son off at a math club competition. Next weekend he has marching band. We’re doing everything possible to make sure he stays a virgin. Is this purity culture??
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@flaviusvalens1
flaviusvalens
4 months
Fellas, is it gay to knock your wife up and then love and care for the daughter that results from your union?
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@flaviusvalens1
flaviusvalens
1 year
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@flaviusvalens1
flaviusvalens
2 months
This dude makes a skullet look cool as hell
@snaiImaiI
jujubee 📇
2 months
walton goggins the cuntress you are…
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@flaviusvalens1
flaviusvalens
3 years
@alystentothis I've had some regrettable hookups, but never any regrettable times playing Civilization or Rome.
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@flaviusvalens1
flaviusvalens
4 months
Wrong. Check out this Roman dog grave:
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@MrsDCtheCapital
Alec Carey✨🫰🏽✨
4 months
these things are a sign of a declining society you have mental illness if you desire to provide for and nurture a creature that brings no value in return to your household hundreds of years ago people would have never simply because they had self respect
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@flaviusvalens1
flaviusvalens
2 years
Deleted this because the ***** ******** fandom found me
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@flaviusvalens1
flaviusvalens
9 months
@DiabolicalSpuds Also: using stimulants to work multiple jobs to afford rent
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@flaviusvalens1
flaviusvalens
3 months
forbidden Chex mix
@palaeokatie
Dr Katie Strang
4 months
Carboniferous limestone appreciation 🖤
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@flaviusvalens1
flaviusvalens
7 months
@reddskyy_ It's so scary. I wish I knew who she was so I could send her money to help her escape this evil freak
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@flaviusvalens1
flaviusvalens
1 year
Ball is life, sir
@MrSAAerobics
tumelo
1 year
ladies, what’s stopping you from removing this ball?
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@flaviusvalens1
flaviusvalens
10 months
I think the worst style trend among white guys was the "super skinny jeans with a long deep v-neck tee" era. These guys just look like they're Australians or from Pittsburgh
@le_post_enjoyer
who, me?
10 months
This has to be the worst style trend among White guys. What are we doing as a society to let this annoying shit happen.
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@flaviusvalens1
flaviusvalens
10 months
Fellas, is it gay to drink lemonade?
@teletrumpies
Bully Eilish
10 months
On a date and he ordered lemonade…. Do you think this should be a deal breaker?? Could he still be a real man?
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@flaviusvalens1
flaviusvalens
3 years
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@flaviusvalens1
flaviusvalens
11 months
@mrsballs69 She looks fine as hell
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@flaviusvalens1
flaviusvalens
3 years
@NikolaKnezATX @hangsawoman Boating accident in the Brandywine River
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@flaviusvalens1
flaviusvalens
10 months
Coward
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@flaviusvalens1
flaviusvalens
3 years
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@flaviusvalens1
flaviusvalens
1 year
@oh_indigo_ @curiocactus Why is there a lingerie photo and a horse picture in this woman's death announcement??
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@flaviusvalens1
flaviusvalens
3 months
Me and the boys walking on Arrakis without alerting any sandworms
@alexissTyler
lex in tx
3 months
Somewhere in downtown Houston
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@flaviusvalens1
flaviusvalens
25 days
@HannahPosted What does being fat have to do with giving advice to your friends? Serious question
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@flaviusvalens1
flaviusvalens
3 years
@RachelMComedy Zero sexual assault allegations, so he's actually not like the average male comedian
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@flaviusvalens1
flaviusvalens
3 years
@lacroixcommie Why is everyone talking about Susan Sarandon today?
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@flaviusvalens1
flaviusvalens
15 days
@deeshka What shoe
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@flaviusvalens1
flaviusvalens
2 years
If I had a girlfriend, I would make her a cursed Stitch cake
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@flaviusvalens1
flaviusvalens
10 days
Fear is the mind-killer
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@flaviusvalens1
flaviusvalens
9 months
How do straight women flirt? Honest question, not a joke setup (trying to learn). Posted this earlier but deleted and am reposting it with it set to mutuals only
@hashjenni
Jenni
9 months
Flirt like a straight man go
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@flaviusvalens1
flaviusvalens
1 month
Am I missing something or is this a Democrat advocating for...the right to get your fingers cut off by a table saw?
@RepMGP
Rep. Marie Gluesenkamp Perez
2 months
A new rule mandating finger-detection technology in table saws could raise costs by hundreds of dollars and result in a government-mandated monopoly. I introduced a bipartisan bill to protect consumer choice and block this mandate until the patents for this tech are made public.
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@flaviusvalens1
flaviusvalens
1 month
@Lons I was scrolling quickly and thought that this was Osama bin Laden
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@flaviusvalens1
flaviusvalens
7 months
@DiabolicalSpuds To be fair, I have seen numerous middle-aged lesbian women wearing these
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@flaviusvalens1
flaviusvalens
4 months
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@flaviusvalens1
flaviusvalens
9 months
@superloafcat Pawg cousin or thot daughter?
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@flaviusvalens1
flaviusvalens
2 years
Y'all didn't expect the Jarhartt
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@flaviusvalens1
flaviusvalens
1 year
Haters who said I wouldn't dye sundresses for respected mutuals have been real quiet recently
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@flaviusvalens1
flaviusvalens
1 year
Applebee's
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@flaviusvalens1
flaviusvalens
1 year
DJ Khaled:
@memetazaa
gilbert
1 year
guys do NOT lick the bean!!!
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@flaviusvalens1
flaviusvalens
5 months
@Very__Regular Cradle Catholics tend to have way more of a sense of humor about things than converts
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@flaviusvalens1
flaviusvalens
2 months
People from 2000 to 2009 were obsessed with bacon. People in the 2020s are obsessed with hot dogs. What were people in the 2010s obsessed with food-wise? I honestly can't remember 🤔
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@flaviusvalens1
flaviusvalens
2 months
Okay. Catholic or Protestant?
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@gooderheck
shoggy - sl/acc🛸💵🦷
2 months
All art can be divided into Catholic and Protestant. Name a piece of media. I’ll tell you which one it is.
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@flaviusvalens1
flaviusvalens
2 months
So Drake's defense is "I expected you would call me a pedophile! By the way, you were molested as a kid"
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@flaviusvalens1
flaviusvalens
1 year
Too small. This is clearly Scrappy
@jimrosecircus1
jim rose circus
1 year
This is the Scoobyest looking dog I have ever seen.
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@flaviusvalens1
flaviusvalens
10 months
Joe Jonas reveals that Sophie Turner "bought a tie-dye shirt from Twitter user flaviusvalens1. The patterns were interesting to look at and several people complimented her on it," according to TMZ
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@flaviusvalens1
flaviusvalens
11 months
@timeforjaya @mollytaft White on white crime
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@flaviusvalens1
flaviusvalens
9 months
Blame it all on my roots, I showed up in Croots / and ruined your black tie affair
@bethbourdon
beth
9 months
stop gaslighting us, no one asked for these
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@flaviusvalens1
flaviusvalens
7 months
Haters who said I wouldn't wear the hand-knit buffalo sweater have been real quiet lately
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@flaviusvalens1
flaviusvalens
6 months
I see a big fuckin' dog
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@flaviusvalens1
flaviusvalens
14 days
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@flaviusvalens1
flaviusvalens
2 years
@xanabon A miss who moseys
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@flaviusvalens1
flaviusvalens
8 months
Haven't seen a ratio like this in a long time
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@flaviusvalens1
flaviusvalens
7 months
@ohfuckingod Canada has gone woke
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@flaviusvalens1
flaviusvalens
8 months
Ireland has fought numerous wars for survival against the world's longest-lived terrorist organization, the British Empire
@danielsrosehill
Daniel Rosehill
8 months
#Israel has fought 4 wars for its survival against Islamist enemies since its birth as a state. #Ireland has fought 0. Rule of thumb: If you have no experience and don't know what you're talking about, it's usually prudent to not offer unsolicited "advice" #IsraelUnderAttack
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@flaviusvalens1
flaviusvalens
9 months
Light the candle, curse the glare (NFS)
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@flaviusvalens1
flaviusvalens
2 months
@delaneycirce Dudes fucking rock
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@flaviusvalens1
flaviusvalens
2 years
First QT hater just dropped
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@flaviusvalens1
flaviusvalens
2 months
First thing I noticed is that they serve hippos
@_emilyoram
Emily✨
2 months
My favourite thing about this is that it’s a “Fancy Restaurant” but there’s no crockery and the meal is a burger.
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@flaviusvalens1
flaviusvalens
2 months
So we finally hit "fellas, is it gay to enjoy sex with women?"
@Cobratate
Andrew Tate
2 months
Sex is for making children. Any man who has sex with women because it "feels good" is gay. Oh my pee pee feels good this is great! In fact if you are 40 with less than 5 children you're probably gay. All that feel-good pee pee sex and hardly any genetic legacy?
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@flaviusvalens1
flaviusvalens
1 year
Why not. Who gives a fuck
@plxyboihurting
Ali *⃟+⃟
1 year
Why this girl playing Fortnite in Starbucks 😭😭
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@flaviusvalens1
flaviusvalens
2 months
@lemonade_grrrl 55 year old grandma in accounting dropping this one at 9:37 AM on a Monday
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@flaviusvalens1
flaviusvalens
4 months
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@flaviusvalens1
flaviusvalens
3 years
@peterkz Like...if he knew it was wrong in his heart, why did he do it?
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@flaviusvalens1
flaviusvalens
4 months
I was scrolling and thought this was a picture of Biden that a liberal had edited to look strong
@RicFlairNatrBoy
Ric Flair®
4 months
Still The Baddest Motherf*cker In The Game! WOOOOO!
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@flaviusvalens1
flaviusvalens
2 years
Haters who said I didn't dye corduroy jackets haven't had much to say lately
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@flaviusvalens1
flaviusvalens
7 months
You know I had to do it to 'em
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@flaviusvalens1
flaviusvalens
1 month
When I was a kid this cost $2.99 and if you tipped $1.50 the waitress would slip you a loose cigarette as long as you looked at least fourteen. We didn't know how good we had it
@alltimegoober
baskin in the light
1 month
A one topping slice of za with 6 wings tossed in any flavor with a soda for $10.50 what a gem of a lunch spot in urban Atlanta
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@flaviusvalens1
flaviusvalens
4 months
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@LocalSoundwave
Soundwave
4 months
bro what the fuck could Jolene have possibly looked like
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@flaviusvalens1
flaviusvalens
2 months
@superloafcat Is "touch me while your bros play Grand Theft Auto" an actual lyric from the new Taylor album???
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@flaviusvalens1
flaviusvalens
4 months
@GigiDX4 Hell yeah! I would too
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@flaviusvalens1
flaviusvalens
2 years
@zaksimmonss Now they go out for milk or cigarettes
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@flaviusvalens1
flaviusvalens
2 years
@nazzobetweeting Am gonna gamble and assume this guy has never had a girlfriend or seen a naked woman irl
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@flaviusvalens1
flaviusvalens
3 years
@CaitCamelia It does prepare you for living in a studio apartment with your ex because neither of y'all can afford to move out after the breakup
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@flaviusvalens1
flaviusvalens
8 months
Haters who said I would not wear a vintage Hartford Whalers Starter jacket haven't had much to say lately
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@flaviusvalens1
flaviusvalens
1 month
Evolution was a mistake. Our lost innocence cries out to us accusingly
@AMAZlNGNATURE
Nature is Amazing ☘️
2 months
Oh to feel the freedom of a newborn duckling running on lilypads
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@flaviusvalens1
flaviusvalens
2 years
I fail to beat the "he tie-dyes sundresses" allegations
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@flaviusvalens1
flaviusvalens
4 months
New type of guy just dropped
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