queer wizard 🇵🇸
@a_queer_wizard
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Rob Matthews ✨Illustrator and Game Designer. Queer Socialist and Old School Tabletop Enthusiast. || Post-Punk piece of shit. (They/She)
Scotland, United Kingdom
Joined February 2009
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Hello 🙋🏻♂️
I’m Rob Matthews and I’m an illustrator and cartographer. I’m looking for work for August/September in the
#ttrpg
space so if you have any need for maps or spot illustrations please do hit me up in my DMs.
You can see more of my work at
Thanks!
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Everytime I hit a paywall on some respected journalism site and then simply don't read the article rather than subscrining, I think about how Fox, Breitbart, The Daily Mail, et al. never ever ever paywall their content. I think about this constantly.
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Honestly as a creator I would kill to have a creative language as instantly recognisable and easy to parody as Wes Anderson.
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Everyone in the Discord call: He-
Person in call with a Mechanical Keyboard: *CLACK CLACK CLACK CLACK CLACK CLACKITY CLACK CLACK CLACK CLACK CLACK CLACKITY CLACKITY CLACK CLACK CLACK CLACK CLACK CLACK CLACK CLACK CLACK CLACKITY CLACK CLACK CLACK CLACK CLACK CLACKITY CLACK CLACK*
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The thing these 'I could draw/make that' types never ever understand is that they didn't make that, and they wouldn't think to either. Most people only view art in terms of literal technical skill, and not as a medium to produce an emotional or intellectual response.
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"No one is forcing you to work at that job you hate"
I think you will find the threat of starvation and homelessness is fairly coercive
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@Xurlanthewizard
The fact that there's ways around it (which don't work universally according to my experience with 12ft ladder) is completely beside the point. The ideological right know that their target audience lacks the knowledge to utilise those methods.
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Reading an article about fantasy and race and the problems therein and this line fucking jumped out at me:
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'Don't speak ill of the dead' means don't talk about Aunt Doris's drinking problem at the funeral reception - it doesn't mean don't talk about how a recently deceased celebrity whipped up and thew their weight behind a fascist hate mob just for YouTube subscriptions.
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Been thinking a lot lately about how DnD puts basically all of its effort into winning over players and getting players excited and engaged when DM’s spend basically all the money on the game and it gives them nothing
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I don’t usually make political cartoons but this image has been in my head all week so ....
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I think the weirdest part of this is the assumption that the video is laughing *at* Wes Anderson when Wes Anderson is lampooning the exact same people and their exact same affectations.
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More cisgender people should change their name to one they pick for themselves if you ask me. Pretty fucked that in 2018 we still largely go by names someone else picked for us without knowing literally anything about who we are.
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Any time a piece of art makes people think 'is this really art though?' - the art already won. It did the job. You lost.
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I need people to stop auto recommending Pathfinder 2E to people who are fed up with 5E because that solution only works for people who have a very specific set of issues with 5E; mostly that it isn’t granular or crunchy enough for them.
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I legit don't think I'll ever love a meme as much as I love this one
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I think the thing missing most from modern DnD is art of heroes absolutely eating shit
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Brian Cox is however a shining example that you can be a very knowledgeable and intelligent person but not have a fucking clue what’s actually going on
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The coolest thing about the DND virtual tabletop is 5E putting EVEN MORE prep work onto the GM. Just throwing hours and hours of work at the GM instead of tools to help them run. Absolutely mind boggling.
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More fat characters that aren’t coded as lazy/slobby/hungry/slow/stupid etc etc etc
Any unpopular character design opinions aside from unnecessarily sexy ladies?
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Please.... please stop.... fascism is not an ideology you can dissect and argue against; its nebulous and amorphous and no matter what you say they’ll shift the goalposts because they have no principles other than power and violence
@rmc031
@JessicaValenti
I’m with Remnick. In a free society, you argue with the opposition. That’s how you defeat it. Especially the most odious opposition. I like arguments—nobody ever really goes away when you block. My instinct is not to object to platforms, but to push back with better arguments.
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It's almost as if no platforming works
Milo Yiannopoulos cancels Phoenix appearance after 62 venues decline to host him
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So - when you're commissioning an illustrator for commercial work - please please please be aware what you're actually asking for when you ask for 'full rights' to an image. Don't be surprised if you ask for full rights to an image and the price suddenly increases by 1000%.
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@bombsfall
Absolutely. I can’t think of it as being anything other than an impressive control of one’s craft.
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I remain convinced that if the Nemesis System had not been patent locked it would have had the chance to revolutionise the way action storytelling is done in games
If you could rebuild a game around the Nemesis System, what would it be?
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Possibly playing a kobold necromancer soon and I had to draw them
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Genuinely I’ll never forgive the people cheerleading that site’s downfall because ‘piracy’ when it’s archival role was absolutely vital to helping new game developers find out about the history of the hobby. I actually don’t care that it was illegal it was too important to lose.
How can we make a legal Trove? We need an online library of ttrpg history.
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@ChrisBrosnahan
@bristling
It feels like an excuse to indirectly ask the sort of personal questions you’re not actually allowed to ask
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Haha this sucks man
So, this is the first MidJourney AI image I've prompted that I believe I can use as-is for a ttRPG product.
It's make a great cover, even.
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Hey I'm Rob and I'm an illustrative cartographer. I sometimes do
#TTRPG
stuff. I'll make stuff for your game if you ask nicely.
I draw maps that look really cool.
#PortfolioDay
💼:
📧: matthews.rj
@gmail
.com
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Columbo is so good because the show removes him from the act of police work as much as it possibly can. He feels more like a force of nature who is spawned from the either to catch uppity rich murderers than a policeman.
Okay so ACAB and Vimes and Columbo are *not* exceptions but like... Almost.
Does anyone else make that list? Perfectly idealised coppers who are aware of their position and only stand up for the little guy?
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Ok let's settle this who is the most important cultural philosopher of the 20th century?
♥Like for Ayn Rand - “Free competition enforced by law” is a grotesque contradiction in terms."
♻️ RT for Yoshi - "Yoshi!"
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Map commission 👀
Really happy with how this came out.
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If your problems with 5E are that it just isn’t loose and creative enough for you and you find combat a slog PF2 is that experience times ten.
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If you bought an adventure and this was the map would you be ashamed to put it in front of your players?
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Rian Johnson making a murder mystery about how stupid Elon Musk is might be my favourite thing in a long time
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@Marsnbars
Yeah I’m worried that people think Wes Anderson isn’t being deeply sardonic basically all the time. The basic idea of Wes Anderson’s whole idea is about the facades people create and how they hold up under crisis, and the humour and tragedy in that.
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Map project for a private client. This took me really out of my comfort zone but I’m happy with how it came out.
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@peek_pdx
@Xurlanthewizard
It’s worked a couple times for me and I’m thankful when it works but yeah it’s not consistent at all
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This is literally an art installation satirising hostile architecture
Bench is covered with spikes that disappear after you pay - Good idea?
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I can’t believe Calvin and Hobbes predicted vaporwave
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Did you know that there’s absolutely no evidence whatever that feeding kids is good for their health?
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It's ridiculous that we even have to make this clear: but a Nazi wearing a swastika in public is not 'doing nothing'
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The worst thing about the kink at pride discourse is I actually saw baby queer talking about how ‘we shouldn’t have so many people handing out condoms at Pride’ and Jesus if that isn’t the worst thing like do you know why they do that do you know?!
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I’m working on my game today and apparently I woke up this morning and chose violence
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You: Pro-wrestling is fake and for nerds
Me, an intellectual: Excuse me but feast your eyes on MosCow, the Communist Bovine
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@cherrydadgreg
@hamesatron
You basically have to drop into a really low squat then push up with your knees and thigh muscles it’s such an unnatural thing to do so you really have to train yourself
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Feel like reposting some one page dungeons I made last year. I want to make more of these it's just about finding the time.
#DnD
#TTRPG
#Illustration
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Your kids have a right to privacy holy shit. Parents who snoop and pry are the worst I swear.
I think ALL parents should look for their kids' social media handles & follow them incognito. These kids use them as diaries of sorts. You can always find out what's going on in their heads & their life. Too many kids suffering here...
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I created a little cheat sheet to help with drawing arms in weird poses!
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The human actors playing it absolutely stone cold straight is the absolute key to this film being as well regarded as it is.
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This is such profound ‘saying the quiet part loud’ shit
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@JortsTheCat
Jorts our neighbour (who may or may not be named Glenn) just caused us to have to evacuate the building at 3:30 am by smoking so much weed it set the fire alarms off and our building alarm is linked to the fire department directly so we had to explain that to firemen as well
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I’m convinced the ‘millions of people saw and love the Avatar movies’ thing is a psyop. I actually refuse to believe that people have that little taste.
One of the most insane scenes I’ve witnessed in a major blockbuster.
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I watched the film version of the Broadway revival of Mart Crowley's The Boys in the Band last night and as a queer man it's so refreshing to see unashamedly queer people in an unashamedly queer and important performance. It's on Netflix and it's fucking great.
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Hello! I'm looking to take on some map commissions this coming month (July 2023).
I make maps for
#TTRPG
games, adventures, supplements, or just for home games and personal projects.
I'll put a link to my commission rates and some more examples below.
Retweets appreciated!
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oops... I did the it
oh no what if.... what if I made an Owlbear fursona? >.>
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Hello! I'm looking to take on some map commissions this coming month (May 2023).
I make maps for
#TTRPG
games, adventures, supplements, or just for home games and personal projects.
I'll put a link to my commission rates and some more examples below.
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Map commission! This was an absolute joy to work on and I think it came out pretty good!
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Just met this good good friend? 12/10 for friendliness came right over for pets and stroke. 1/10 for leaving fluff all over my hand
@thecatreviewer
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That BBC trash fire about trans people has some really insane shit but this takes the cake for me
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I’m just gonna repost this map I made for an rpg project again because I’m actually really really proud of it and I need to remind myself that I’m actually good at what I do
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it’s weird how people are opposed to gay marriage yet are fine with there being four shrek movies
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Reminder that gamers thought the Battle of Wounded Knee bit in Bioshock Infinite was a reference to a Skyrim meme and not an actual thing
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So I was looking up bear images for a reference and I found this amazing image that looks like this bear is doing a fighting game dash-in attack and it’s destroying me
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feel bad but i’m genuinely *so*
bored of 5e it’s making me not want to finish the campaign i’m running in it :/
like for a while i’ve been able to live with it just out of the enjoyment of hanging with friends but it’s so actively hostile to the gm it’s making me dread running
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I genuinely do not get the ‘5E DnD is easy to learn’ line. I don’t dislike that system, it is what it is, but it is full of really counterintuitive legacy junk that makes teaching it to new players really really annoying. Even just the stat generation is a byzantine mess.
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The reason this story still hits like a truck over one hundred years later is because it skewers so precisely the shame society and other people in our lives forces onto us simply for existing inside our own body and not as an abstract. It works for so so many reasons.
Did you guys know that the horror of Franz Kafka's short story, "The Metamorphosis," is not that the protagonist has been transformed into an insect, but rather that his family shows no concern and is annoyed that he's falling behind on bills/rent? Just something to think about.
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Pathfinder 2E nerds are up in arms about Paizo scrubbing alignment from the game.
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Love to destroy my child’s ability to trust me in any way shape or form for the rest of their life
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Literally all the replies to this read like ‘oh thank fuck I might not have to pay artists for everything now’
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A cool thing to do to fight the alienation of existing under capitalism is to ask people ‘what do you like doing?’ instead of ‘what do you do?’ when first getting to know them 👌
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You know I’ve only just clocked that Baldur’s Gate 3 shows you enemy hit points at all times and it doesn’t take away from combat at all it kind of only enhances it and I’m wondering why it feels anathema to show or reveal hit points in tabletop DnD (read: d20 fantasy generally)
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