Zeyn Joukhadar | زين جوخدار
@ZeynJoukhadar
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The Map of Salt & Stars (2018), The Thirty Names of Night (2020). Rep: @michellebrower & @booksincommon. He/they/lui/هو 🏳️⚧️🏳️🌈 PhD.
Joined May 2015
Thread 🧵 of where you can find me, my writing, & updates:. Events & preorder links: Newsletter with reading recommendations: Goodreads: Bookbub: My website:
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Today my partner & I found a secret beach, far away from the maskless tourists & the eyes of cis sunbathers, & I swam in the sea for the first time since my top surgery & felt I had been returned to the body I was born into & for that half hour I was blissfully, totally happy.
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Every time you start typing “women & non-binary people” then stop, realize that it doesn’t make sense to lump enbies in with women, & write “people of marginalized genders” instead, an angel gets their wings.
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I am trans not as in crossing from point a to point b (tho that’s equally valid if that’s true for you!), but trans as in infinite journey, endless exploration, liberation from gender gatekeeping/policing/borders. Trans as in freedom to play, discover, exist with no destination.
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One thing I think about a lot is how often the work of marginalized writers gets reduced to and given lip service as “representation” or “visibility” or being about “identity” because more privileged writers cannot—or will not—see the innovations of craft that go into our work—.
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Every book I write, I have to remind myself that sometimes we don't go into a project with the skills we need to execute it. We have to go study what we have to learn, practice new craft skills, read new critique. We can let the work guide our growth & make us better artists.
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A year ago, on the first day of Ramadan, I said bismillah & took my first dose of testosterone—feeling grateful that every year from now on will be another reminder of that day I decided to trust in the divine & hope that joy was possible. Ramadan mubarak 💚✨
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Something I think about a lot is how many of us are socialized into believing we can only make life changes based on how miserable we are—that pain is the only valid reason for change—when in reality we can also move toward the possibility for greater joy. Even a glimmer of it.
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Trans kids in Arkansas & everywhere, I love you & I see you & you aren’t alone. Don’t forget that this isn’t the first time they’ve tried to erase us & kill us & failed. I want you here with me, with us. Don’t lose hope. There are beautiful things ahead for you. Hold on.
BREAKING: Arkansas has become the first state to ban health care for trans youth.
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I honestly have no words for how it feels to see my *real name*--the one I bestowed on myself--on my book cover. Thank you, thank you, thank you @AtriaBooks & every single loved one & reader who gave me their support 🌈 ✨ #TheMapofSaltandStars #transauthors #syrianamerican
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This is the statement we wrote &, as the @RAWInews board, sent to other writers & colleagues as a customizable template text with an invitation to speak up about the ongoing genocide in Palestine. But this carefully considered statement says much more than just that--
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I cried so much when I got this news. It’s meant so much to me to see this book, which I was once too afraid to write, received by readers with such love & now to be recognized with a Stonewall Book Award. & in this incredible company of writers!! Thank you, thank you, thank you.
Congratulations to the winner of the Barbara Gittings Stonewall Book Award, The Thirty Names of Night, by Zeyn Joukhadar! #Stonewall50 #ALAMW2021 #alaMW21 @ZeynJoukhadar 🌈🎉.
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I can’t even tell you how hard it is to write a novel about trans futures while watching my existence and daily life as a human being becoming increasingly illegal across the United States. How are trans people (especially bipoc) expected to function, let alone create anything?.
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I have 🥳🌈 BIG NEWS!! 🌈🥳 My second novel, THE THIRTY NAMES OF NIGHT, out 19 May 2020 from @atriabooks, is up for preorder!! It follows three generations of Syrian Americans linked by a mysterious species of bird, with an almost entirely #qtpoc cast! 😻.
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Farewell Etel Adnan. You were a lighthouse for so many of us, especially young queer Arab artists. When you said “I am making the mountain as people make a painting,” I understood something about the making of myself. ألف شكر 🖤.
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For the love of god, don’t say “the lgbt community” when you mean trans. If you’re talking about trans people, say trans. If you’re talking about trans women, say trans women. Don’t hide behind vague language when they’re literally killing us.
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I don’t think people in the U.S. realize that people who live outside the U.S.—esp poc—are often genuinely scared to travel there b/c of the danger of mass shootings & police violence & major financial trouble in case of illness. Like, I’ve got loved ones terrified to even visit.
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Last year, I went into anaphylactic shock in LA. I had 20 mins to get to a hospital before my epi-pen wore off. A cop who arrived w the paramedics laughed & accused me of faking. The paramedics debated whether to take me or not. With this new rule, they could've left me to die.
And just like that, the Trump administration defines sex as defined by biology and wipes out health care discrimination protections for all trans people in the US.
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A small reminder not to lump nonbinary people with women in application calls, anthologies, residencies, etc. If you mean people of marginalized genders, say that. Also, a reminder that enbies who use binary pronouns exist (I use he/him!) & we are no less valid. 👋🏽🌈 #pride2019.
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Hi, I’m Zeyn, #IAmNonbinary & I also write books 🤗 I’m Syrian American, Muslim, & use he/him pronouns. My second novel #TheThirtyNamesofNight also has a transmasc protagonist & comes out May 19 2020 from @AtriaBooks ✨🌈
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In which I seek God in my trans body, comb Rome for my father's ghost & surrender to the sacredness of my transness as one accepts a gift. Less an essay than a descent into the underworld, searching for the seed of what is good in the self. @CatapultStory
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A brief reminder to cis allies to offer to accompany your trans friends to the bathroom in spaces with gendered restrooms. I got trapped in a men’s room & screamed at last night bc one guy decided I didn’t belong. I’m ok, luckily, but having a friend in there would have helped.
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Good morning! I am still in shock that I get to be on the Fiction judging panel for the National Book Awards this year!! I cannot wait to read your books!!.
2024 #NBAwards Fiction judges: Jamie Ford (@JamieFord), Lauren Groff (Chair, @legroff), Zeyn Joukhadar (@zeynjoukhadar), Chawa Magaña (from @palabras_books), Reginald McKnight.
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Omg y’all I am freaking out thank you so much!!!! 🥺🥺🥺😭😭😭🥰🥰🥰.
And the winner in Transgender Fiction is. The Thirty Names of Night - @ZeynJoukhadar . Buy The Thirty Names of Night here!
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To the people who write to me to tell me they like my work but "just can't accept" the transness in it: good news! You needn't bother, because I don't care.
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Omg what!!!!! Ahhhhhhh if you could hear the screaming over here omg thank you so much @LambdaLiterary !!!! 😭😭😭💜💜💜🌈🌈🌈.
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Do any other writers/artists out there worry that you're going to die before you can finish the project you're working on & your ghost will be mortified by the messy draft you've left behind, or am I just a morbid weirdo? Ok you know what don't answer that last question.
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Tear gas is associated with miscarriages & stillbirths. It is a suspected abortifacient & a chemical weapon. According to the 1925 Geneva Protocol, it‘s illegal to use on the battlefield. Yet it’s still being used on protestors in the US. From @TeenVogue:
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Existing as an out trans person & being an activist are not the same thing. We rly need to talk more about how shared identity =\= shared politics, & how often this leads to problematic people being tokenized & weaponized against other marginalized people by the dominant culture.
Breaking News: Caitlyn Jenner, the Republican former Olympian and prominent transgender activist, is set to run for California governor, those close to her said.
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Write toward the thing you don’t yet have the words to say.
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The complex and innovative work of marginalized writers often gets written off as simplistic or without larger cultural / social relevance simply because dominant culture writers cannot conceive of the fact that what we are doing on the page was not written with them in mind.
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I feel weird announcing this today when I'm glued to the screen watching the election results coming in, but I also know that no matter what happens, we have to celebrate our joys when we find them--friends, #TheThirtyNamesOfNight made the Indie Next List! I am 😭💝😭💝😭💝.
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Pro-tip: if you see someone at the beach with their shirt off and you feel confused by their gender, maybe don't be a cop and ask the lifeguard to gender police them!! maybe just mind your business!!.
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I. won’t be on here as much for a bit. A loved one of someone in my chosen family passed away from covid this morning. He was young, had just started his first job, & covid sent him into heart failure. Young people are not safe from this thing. I am begging you: WEAR A MASK.
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“We no longer pursue, or partake in, empathy. Empathy is the executioner’s word. Our word is love.”
"On Execution" by @El_Gendy_95. Invoking his political imprisonment in Egypt and thinking alongside Solmaz Sharif's work on the failures of Western empathy, ElGendy questions a society that is incapable extending the political action Palestinians demand.
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I can’t believe I just walked out of the DMV with my new license, with my new gender marker on it. I never, ever thought, at the beginning of 2019, that by the end of the year I’d be able to access top surgery & change my gender marker. Alhamdulillah. Just humbled & grateful rn.
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Apparently THE MAP OF SALT AND STARS was used without my consent to train AI & I am livid. The astonishing levels of entitlement. To steal, esp. from writers of color like me who took YEARS to find ways of writing about pain & joy & trauma—just to have our very *voices* stolen.
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Check up on your queer and trans friends. Because chances are that a lot of us are going to be stuck inside with toxic families of origin during the holidays, in situations where we are closed off from the support of friends & chosen family. Or otherwise have no place to go.
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It’s here & its beautiful! The Portuguese translation of #TheMapOfSaltAndStars is out with @dublinense! 🥺😻✨.
"O mapa de sal e estrelas", de @ZeynJoukhadar, foi lançado!. Na trama, acompanhamos as jornadas intercaladas de uma jovem forçada a deixar a Síria em busca de segurança e de uma aprendiz de cartografia que traçou a mesma rota quase mil anos antes. Compre:
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For the @The_NewArab, I wrote about the time I went looking for the ghost of the mosque on Rector Street in lower Manhattan, who gets to choose their silences, and what remains of Little Syria:
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Omg I FINALLY got my mom a vaccine appointment alhamdulillah!!! 😭😭😭.
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I’m beyond thrilled to announce my debut novel THE MAP OF HOPEFUL BROKEN THINGS has found a home w/ @TrishTodd718 at @TouchstoneBooks (S&S)!
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I've reached the stage of my transition where I've rediscovered the joys of bright red lipstick & crop tops. Unexpectedly, transition has smashed the long-locked doors of my femmeness. Cisnormativity really tries to keep us from seizing all our wild gender joy & I'm mad about it.
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I need everybody who ever tried to stop me from transitioning by repeating the tired TERF talking point that all masculinity is toxic & that testosterone would make me into a violent predator to go read this gorgeous essay by @rabblerouses in @ElectricLit
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I just woke up to the news that #TheThirtyNamesOfNight has gone into its *third printing* ahead of pub date, & I'm 🥺🥺🥺🥰🥰🥰 Y'all, baby Zeyn could never have imagined this kind of support for such an unapologetically trans, Arab, Muslim book. Thank you!! 😌🦉🏳️⚧️✨ @AtriaBooks.
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Thinking about how Boseman worked while he was sick & in pain & I‘m angry. Abled people don’t think about what it’s like to hide symptoms of chronic illness to keep a job (& benefits), to fear judgment & disappointment, or the self doubt this creates. Let’s not romanticize this.
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I’m really tired of being sad, angry, exhausted & scared & then going on social media to see people who are supposedly my allies sharing things like “if men could get pregnant” / “I wish sons periods, cramps etc so they’d understand” Do you still not get that trans people exist??.
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You guys I’m so close to the end of this draft, pray for me that I can get to the end before Ramadan starts 😭🙏🏼.
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I still think about the people who removed themselves from my life when I came out. I remember their birthdays. I still make dua for them. I have nothing else to say except I am tired, I miss people, & outness is not something we can expect glibly from folks. It comes w/ a price.
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When I was a kid & didn't yet have language for what it meant to be nonbinary, to be transmasculine, Alanna was one of my secret heroes. She even partially inspired the character of Rawiya (& her disguise as the mapmaker's apprentice, Rami) in #TheMapofSaltandStars. 🌈.
Alanna has always defied labels. She took the best bits of being a woman and a man, and created her own unique identity. I think the term is 'gender-fluid', though there wasn't a word for this (to my knowledge) when I was writing her.
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OH. MY. GOD. My debut novel, #TheMapofSaltandStars, is available for preorder on Amazon. This is really happening. 😱😱😱😱😱😱.
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Just so y’all know, I’m going to be masked the entire time I’m at AWP. Nobody is going to see me without a mask, sorry not sorry!. (PS, It’s not too late for you to do the same!).
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I usually have a lot of anxiety that I’m not enough—smart enough, good enough, etc—to tell the story I’m trying to tell. I always fear the themes are bigger than me & the story is smarter than me. But then I remember my job isn’t to control the story, but to get out of its way.
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Omg!! #TheThirtyNamesOfNight is a finalist for the Lammys!!! 🥺🥰🤩😭🥳🦉🪶 And in such amazing company!!!.
Congratulations to @ninocipri @PorterChana @vivekshraya @ZeynJoukhadar @LydiaRogue finalists for the 2021 Lambda Literary Award in Transgender Fiction! #Lammys @TorDotComPub @soho_press @ecwpress @atriabooks.@Microcosmmm .
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The wild thing to me is that cis people think “gender ideology” is a thing trans people are doing. All trans people are doing is literally just existing. The only “ideology” here is the one that denies reality to pretend we don’t exist. Does the Vatican have nothing better to do?.
BREAKING: The Vatican blasts sex change surgery, surrogacy and gender theory as grave threats to human dignity
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Omg I did it, I wrote the new opening of this novel. Revisions are underway after all these months of planning! So many months spent scrabbling to survive this horrible world afraid that words had abandoned me but they didn’t, they didn’t.
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I have more to say about how this is tied to inclusion of / analysis through the body & embodied experience, & who gets to be free of their bodies on the page vs who cannot afford to divorce what they know about the world from embodied knowledge, but we’ll do that another day lol.
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@jenstjude My novel The Thirty Names of Night has a love story between two queer Arab women in their 90s who find each other after being separated by borders for decades 🥺 someone called it “grandmas in love” & I love it lol!!
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Don't mind me, I'm just over here getting emotional about mentoring emerging writers of color for a 4th (!!) year with @PeriplusCollect--applications for 2024 fellows are open now!!!.
Psst: The application for the 2024 Periplus Fellowship — offering mentorship and community to writers of color — is now open! 🥳 Learn more and apply by 10/27 at There's no fee to apply. And please help spread the word: retweets and other sharing welcome!.
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Having a hard time understanding people saying the pandemic has “helped therm learn to slow down,” or that they’ve gotten more work done. Like bro, I’m happy for you but my housing situation, visa/legal status, & marriage are all fucked?? My entire life was ripped apart???.
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I really wish people would stop calling me a man lol I’ve never actually called myself that. He/him pronouns doesn’t automatically = man. Maybe give me the space to figure out my gender before you declare it for me (or anyone).
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My mom really ended this call last night by joyfully shouting at me & my partner, "the gender binary is bullshit & you are amazing & I love you so much" & honestly this is the energy I'm bringing for my loved ones in 2021.
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I am so tired of marginalized creators being expected to perform & market our trauma, expected to risk harm to speak up when institutions make decisions that enable violence against us, & then have to fear the repercussions of pushing back b/c we’re so often seen as disposable.
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Hey all, I’m taking a break from social media for the next couple of weeks as I deal with a family health emergency. Appreciate any thoughts you can send my way & also appreciate lots of patience w replies, as I most likely won’t be responsive for a bit. Much love💜.
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You know the Frank O’Hara poem where he writes about orange & goes “There should be/so much more, not of orange, of/words, of how terrible orange is/& life,” & the poem can hold neither his pain nor the orange? Not to be earnest on main but that line break makes me cry every time.
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If you’re expecting an email or work from me, please be patient—I have covid & despite everyone saying it’s “not that bad” I am really really sick. If you see me on here it’s bc doomscrolling to see if I still have human rights is one of the only things I can do from bed.
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Look mom, I’m in the @washingtonpost!! 😍😱 “#TheThirtyNamesOfNight is a multifaceted jewel of a novel, & each facet is brilliant in its own way. This incredibly courageous novel reminds us of the dignity we all deserve” @AtriaBooks 💓🌈🦉💫
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The people who used my pronouns right away, even if they slipped up, still get them right without issue. The people who “needed time” or said they’d use my pronouns after I passed an arbitrary benchmark? Still don’t use them. So like, save ur energy for the ppl who show up for u.
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Just found out one of my close friends was injured in the explosion in Beirut & am feeling overwhelmed by distance, by the pandemic, by violence, by disaster. I can’t take much more of this hell year. Hamdullah for the strangers who care for our habayib when we can’t be there.
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"I know of عيب. I know the sting of it on the flesh. I also know the sweetness of its smoke, how its song rings in the throat, how to let the first note blaze out.". My essay from @Elias_Jahshan's #ThisArabIsQueer is up online at @ArcherMagazine now 💜.
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I can't describe to you the joy of trying clothes/styles that I hated before I had top surgery & discovering that I now love them. Like hbb I just bought a turtleneck & my first pair of skinny overalls EVER. This outfit makes me look gay as hell & I love it so much 😭.
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And guys? While we read all these awesome pitches (SO AWESOME), let's also thank @beth_phelan for all her hard work to make #DVPit happen.👏🏽
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So my debut novel #TheMapofSaltandStars is up for preorder on Amazon with its drop-dead gorgeous US cover 😱😱😱#dvsquad @DVpit_ @TouchstoneBooks @michellebrower @devislaskar @SarahXman22 @cocoazafreen @vonacommunity @ElmazWrites @Mizna_ArabArt @RAWInews
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Barely slept last night. Thinking of the families who were lost. Thinking of my Muslim family members and friends who are waking up this morning and, like me, feeling just a little less safe. Inna lillahi wa inna ilayhi raji’un.
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Plus being unable to use a bathroom & holding your pee for hours in order to work, travel, or just live results in higher rates of UTIs & bladder infections in trans ppl & complicates things for those of us who menstruate. & since it’s already harder for us to access healthcare….
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The disrespect with which @jbakernyc was treated by HC is appalling. Jenn is one of the most talented, knowledgeable, compassionate, & hard working publishing industry professionals I’ve ever met, & she 100% deserves better than this. As do Black women in publishing in general.
Hey everyone! I’m back online from hiatus and it's been an interesting few weeks. As I'm sure some have been wondering (and asking), I wanted to make sure to set the record straight on why I am no longer at Amistad. Buckle up for a thread… #ICYMI.
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We need Palestinian stories. They were always needed, they have always been written. Palestinian words have always survived. We need Palestinian futurisms, Palestinian queerness & transness, Black Palestinian brilliance, Palestinian speculative fiction & fabulism. We need it all.
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Eid mubarak loves!! I celebrated last night with a queer iftar with dear friends and it was absolutely everything my soul needed 🥺 I wish that kind of love, peace, acceptance and joy for all my queer Muslim siblings this Eid 💚🤲🏼.
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Okay quick question, do I know / know anyone who knows a photographer in NYC who does headshots, preferably for writers? And is trans friendly?. It's been a few years and I've been on HRT for two years and I'm tired of people using pre-T photos for me 🥲 it's time.
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Last nite at the @Mizna_ArabArt @RAWInews Palestine reading, I read my poem "Trans heaven is a house full of flowers & no word for shame" + an excerpt of this soul nourishing poem by my dear friend, Palestinian poet @rashaabdulhadi. You should read it:
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In proud solidarity with @GWCUAW strikers fighting for wage increases, healthcare, & crucial changes to @Columbia's handling of sexual misconduct, I & my fellow writers have decided to cancel this event & any others until workers' demands are met. @rokwon @GarthGreenwell
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Today’s the day! See you on other side folks, I’ve gotta go get something off my chest ✌🏼👋🏼🌈 (Also, my new chest will be a Scorpio & I feel like that’s kinda perfect?).
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Today is the 2 yr anniversary of my coming out as trans. I was living in Morocco at the time. I wish I could go back & tell past me that it was going to be alright. Wish I could thank them for their faith. For their resilience. For trusting that we would make it through.
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Cis people, I am begging you, think before you defend writing about trans people (or gender) as abstract concepts or expediencies. “Tolkien didn’t have to see elves to write about them!” Bro, it’s not the own you think it is to imply that you don’t see trans people as human.
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Apologies for being vague, but I’m doing something today that feels big and scary & is also a huge important step toward a new, hopefully better version of my life, one with more self love, empowerment, & bodily autonomy. Send good thoughts &/or rituals for big life steps?.
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I feel like there’s so little place these days for joy for joy’s sake but honestly I love my chronically ill, Arab, trans body so much. I used to think everyone hated having a body & my dysphoria & sadness was part of the human condition, but no. & I’m so glad I was wrong.
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Anybody know any outlets that are into queer, short prose/poetic takes on pop culture? I wrote a thing about the trans metaphors in Luca that I continue to be lowkey obsessed with & have no idea what to do with it lol.
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I just had a moment when I posted this, like, if I had had this book when I was 15, how different my life might have looked. How much sooner I might have been able to love myself. That’s what I want for folks coming after me—mirrors.
@claystorks @VanshikaPrusty My second novel (out Aug 2020 from @AtriaBooks), THE THIRTY NAMES OF NIGHT, has a nonbinary trans guy lead (also Muslim & poc), as well as a binary trans man of color as a love interest :) 🏳️🌈✨.
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An offering for your Friday afternoon reading: there’s a brand new excerpt of my new novel THE THIRTY NAMES OF NIGHT out in @GuernicaMag about women who build flying machines & queer girls growing up in the 1930s against the backdrop of a rebellion in French mandate-era Syria.
“Let me start over. I was born on a sunny day in early March of 1920, the day Emir Faysal declared Syria to be an independent Arab state. You never knew my birthday, did you?”. An excerpt of THE THIRTY NAMES OF NIGHT by @ZeynJoukhadar.
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to the transphobic violence enacted in the state in which we are gathering for #AWP24. I don’t see how this statement is threatening or harassing, as AWP’s response seems to imply, nor why an exercise of free speech merited such a response on the part of a writing conference.
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First weekend of pride month & I gotta say, aside from being able to walk/exercise/not constantly dissociate, my fave thing post top surgery is probably crop tops, lacy bralettes, & just generally having a body to decorate, one that’s for me & no one else. I love being trans 💜🙌🏽.
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I really don’t understand why a) I’m not seeing almost any cis people posting about the massive Republican pushes to ban care for adult trans people, and b) given that trans people saw this coming from a mile away, why there isn’t a more concerted push from the left to stop it.
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It connects the ongoing violence in Palestine with the logics underpinning the genocides of Indigenous peoples in Sudan, Congo (& Ethiopia, Armenia & elsewhere) as well as on Turtle Island. It acknowledges how Black liberatory thought & practice has shaped our vision of freedom &.
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This will protect 0 cis people. What it will do is shove trans people into a legal black hole where we can be pushed out of public life, subjected to the prison industrial complex, denied health care, housing, & employment, & systematically neglected & killed with impunity.
Kansas Republicans forced through one of the nation’s most extreme — and incoherent — anti-transgender bills this week.
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I’m so psyched for y’all to read my modern day retelling of the story of Tiresias as a gay trans guy at a party gone horribly wrong in Liguria—complete with snakes, gender bending, sex, & animal sacrifice. As any Greek story should be, no?.
We’re thrilled to reveal the cover of FIT FOR THE GODS, an anthology of inclusive retellings of Greek myths, edited by Jenn Northington and S. Zainab Williams — available August 1st from @vintageanchor.
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I can’t believe I’m doing this but uh, it looks like I’m doing NaNoWriMo this year for the first time in like, five years? & it has jinn in it, & scientists, & a queer ensemble cast who are all into each other? Pray for me friends 😳.
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Dear trans, nonbinary, gnc, &/or 2S person: I hope you are surrounded by people who make you feel easy to love.
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One thing I wish more folks would understand about abortion & men: do you realize how much harder it is to access obgyn/abortion services as a trans man? Esp when you’re visibly trans? Most of us CAN get pregnant. we are equally if not more terrified of losing our tenuous access.
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Tell me you’re white without telling me you’re white.
It really feels like Millennials were the last people who got a largely apolitical high school experience. I don’t remember anything political, just a bubble of blissful ignorance. “Jackass” and Blink-182 were popular. The main concern was asking out your crush.
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Today my labor of love, my debut novel #TheMapofSaltandStars, is out in the world. I'm excited, joyful, terrified, & proud at fulfilling a lifelong dream. But my book doesn't belong just to me anymore. A piece of it belongs to everyone who reads it: to you & you & you & you.
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