NG🍂
@Zeekahthegreat
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IHE/ Student Recruitment/ Admissions... A babe heavenly funded by the double-breasted one...
Federal Capital Territory, Nig
Joined April 2017
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You get home exhausted and can't perform a task as simple as multitasking, then you blame your incompetence on the absence of a woman in your life. Meanwhile, when you marry, you will expect that same woman to perform this same thing you attempted and failed woefully at everyday.
Man, you won't believe how God saved me last night. I got home exhausted, decided to pre-cook beans on my hot plate, and then I knocked out. I just remembered now that I left something on the fire and rushed into the kitchen 👇🏽
They seized power at 5am.
Na Bachelor life I blame.
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@uber_that
You aren't even glad she went through the stress, dating a disorganised person like that can't even wash his own pots must be really tiring. If you check well, it's not your money she used in making those nails, but she should destroy it washing your stupid pots...
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Just two days of moving to Abuja, and I realise I have been reducing my life span in Lagos.. So much peace. You can go to 10 places in one day and still make it home early.
Goodbye to rubbish Lagos, forever!
I honestly don't envy you guys.. Rubbish!
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Okay Uloma you need to slow down on this one, if person try atleast you go pat am for back for once. When it comes to sex, women put in almost no effort except they were paid for it, even at that.
When last were you ontop Uloma?
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I have a theory that people who don't how to cook with onions to their taste do not know how to cook. If your problem is visibility, then blend it, but cooking without onions shows you don't understand how spicing works.
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One time I was headed somewhere and my bolt app wouldn't work, I begged my colleague to help book a trip, he did and I got in. He tried to have a chit chat and I wasn't interested, he noticed and got pissed.
He asked if I was paying cash, I said no I would do a transfer...
I remember calling Airtel customer when I first moved back to Nigeria. I was angry and yelling at a female call rep. The call disconnected, and I called back. This time, a man answered. I realised halfway through the conversation that I was now speaking in a calmer tone.
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the respect...
See, sometimes when you see women act all tough, it's not because they want to, but I learnt that if I need men to never get the chance to walk all over me, I will have to step up and face them man to man.
I return madness for madness and then they align.
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I will rather RT a truth from Mufti Menk than a lie from a fellow Christian and vice versa.
I don't care what your religion is, my religion is the TRUTH!
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@Chrischinna_
@L7hunna
Lmao, he is saying our spending has no limits..What are you on about?
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@yadilimxx
..to come since he was threatening to beat me.
Booked another bolt with the help of my friend, he tried to hold me while I got in, I dropped my bag and held him by his trousers and started shouting for him to beat me. He later had to beg for me to leave him, I later had to.
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If I told you I presently make more than N200k a month just to tweet for other brands, would you believe me?..
If you own a laptop, smart phone and a modem, then you are half way there..
Lemme show you how..
THREAD...
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@qweentilly_8
@ImaniDH_
One fake pastor in the US called Tobi, whose actual job isn't propagating the gospel but being a social leech. He is a serious clout chaser and the last person David needs to be around right now...
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You wanna drag a man whose father defended a major national wahala like Fela in court till he died..I will love to see you try..Falz, if you are apologise, you are not the son of your father...
#ThisIsNigeria
everybody feels entitled...
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@yadilimxx
Lmao, been waiting for someone to ask this question. I called my friend there and then to end the trip because we haven't gone far. I got down and he said I should pay, I told him I wouldn't especially because he wasted my time. He said he would beat me, I got down and asked him
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Don't you ever disrespect Duncan Mighty by saying Wizkid revived his career, UNA DEY MAD? Have you listened to Duncan Mighty's voice, abi na hunger dey worry una? Fake Love would have made mad sense, with or without Wizkid. Wetin Wizkid talk for that song sef.
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Dear
@TheOperaNewsNG
, I will really love to create some relationship content for you.
Here 👇 is one of my works, please check it out.
Guys, I have never begged you guys for anything, please help me bring this home🙌, it means a lot to me. Please RT till they see it!
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have registered his displeasure there and then.
It didn't matter that I promised to meet him half-way, it didn't matter that he didn't know if this guy was my boyfriend or not, whether he was paying the bills or not or even had the money.
But he was a man, and he deserved
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@THIEFNUBUPABLO
@IceWiney
I Don die for laff🤣😂😂😂🤣Nigerian men will not kill me. Oga take handkerchief clean your cattarh🤣
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@RyanOniFOTO
My dear, saw an apartment I really liked and could afford, oga said no way I could afford it without a man unless I was a prostitute. A whole Ngozi, a child heavily funded by God, I don't blame him sha.
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He said he was trying to text my boyfriend to ask if I had cash since I cannot give him cash, I was confused.
He said he was texting the person who booked my trip, since I was being stupid he will rather speak to his fellow man.
It didn't matter that I was an adult and he could
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This is the list of fake job addresses collated (not exhaustive)
1. Plot 5,Voda Paint Plc,University Press House,Fumec Bus Stop Off Adeniyi Jones Ogba Lagos.
2. 3rd floor, 8 Thomas Salako Street, Ogba Bus-Stop, Ikeja Lagos.
THREAD
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Adekunle Gold and Simi's love is the real assurance. Give her a ring not a porsche😂
#promise
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Then he said he must be paid in cash, I said it's fine when we get to our destination I will find a way to get cash.
This guy proceeds to park his car, without permission for 3 mins or more, and started typing on his phone.
Me wondering wassup asked why we were parked...
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This is not a photoshopped work.
This is an actual road in a serene city. But some people cannot relate, cos they believe their ability to struggle is their idea of living in a city.
SMH😂
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#DoubleWahalaReloaded
#doublewahalareunion
Polygrapher: Teddy A, do you think Bam Bam is the one?
Teddy A: Yes..
Polygrapher: True
Bambam:
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Guess who just signed a contract as an
@TheOperaNewsNG
writer😉
Yes, you guessed right!
We did it guys, it's official, I just put pen to paper💃💃💃💃💃💃
See ehn, I don't even know how to begin to thank you guys. This means a lot to me.. From the buttom of my heart. Daalu🙌
Dear
@TheOperaNewsNG
, I will really love to create some relationship content for you.
Here 👇 is one of my works, please check it out.
Guys, I have never begged you guys for anything, please help me bring this home🙌, it means a lot to me. Please RT till they see it!
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Presenter: What do you personally think about Ganduje?
Bubu: I don't know how much technology was used in the tape, but I know my friend didn't have any other person to collect his money, so he did himself. I see nothing wrong in that.
Where did we go wrong?
#NgTheCandidates
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"Only a woman and dogs are loved unconditionally, a man is loved only if he has money"...How much this one get to give her now?
“I was shocked when my wife offered to donate her kidney” – Eedris Abdulkareem speaks on his kidney transplant
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@iamdahmmie
@lollypeezle
Lie lie, that was the best thing about Bic, shii was perfect..Na eleganza dey stain book
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My single ass:
Ladies message your partner “what’s your your favourite hairstyle on me and why?”
Screenshot and show me their responses! Ask them to describe it. I wanna see photos of the styles too 😂❤️
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For a woman scorned, you wrote this with grace and kindness. May God help you find someone that's your heart desire.
When you found me Caleb, (I stand to state without mincing words that by the grace of God I am a good woman) did you remember to;
Pray on your own?
Not call her disgusting names like Lazy, unserious and the others?
Did you forgive her as quickly as she forgave you or you
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@Feyisparkles
Leave the dog, he has been passed around more times than an animal but only the lady should feel shame.
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UPDATE:
One of my idiotic Ex just called asking if he was the one I tweeted about, and I am like, was there ever a time you had a job😒
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@lockichar
@amayomiee
He said wait for mother's day, do you celebrate your father on mother's day?
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Who is this guy in white asking question😂😂😂😂
Baba praised them and later fired them...
The guy: Mr President you have done so much in 4 years that there is hunger and poverty in the land.
Shoot me someone😂😂😂😂
#NgTheCandidates
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@KenechukwuGods2
@OritogunM
@barlery
@oreoluwa_sugar
But the main tweet was meant to be sexual, so yes, he was out of topic, you guys are just innocent.
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And for those miscreant trying to go rogue on me, ejo ka fun ara wa brain.. If you don't have any, borrow!
I was born and bred in Agege oh, so I am not a very nice person oh. Ke malo shoriburuku oh..
I have tried to warn you ahead, ke lo calm down!
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This party don too tey oh..Eleven don almost knack..What is Biggie's plan?..That Tobi and Alex will be so tired they won't be able to kiss abi..E no go work
#BBNaija
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Date: 26th of May, 2016
Course; SEO, Email and Google Marketing, Social media marketing, which includes Facebook, Twitter, Instagram and LinkedIn.
Call 08166599596 to book your space, as spaces are going fast.
My name is Zeekah, I choose Digital Marketing over Fraud.
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@AfamDeluxo
Give her a call, introduce yourself like a gentleman and ask what her name is and how her day is going. Tell her your mom vouched for her person, and because you trust your mom's instincts to recognise a gem and you are thrilled by the opportunity to get to know her.
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@OgbeniDipo
@Omojuwa
I am never reading a book from a mind as evil as Omojuwa's, not even for free...
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Help save my friend, he could be headed to jail permanently if you don't use the hashtag
#freeEromz
...His arraignment is tomorrow biko...
#EndSARS
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@UgwunnaEjikem
Actually I am of the belief that they need to off some people before the rest will desist, they need to see what their future looks like in full glare.
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@volqx
"Sleeping with you on the first day doesn't mean anything"🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩
Osheey quality surveyor.. If you don't get the fvck!
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Abeg, I am now opening audition for boyfriends. I need like 3 boyfriends. I now enough time to be visiting all of you..
1. You must be living in either Maitama, Asokoro or Utako.. No Kubwa, Lugbe or Gwarinpa boys, most of you are fakers.
2. Must be fine bi werey
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@tracksuitArch
@abujastreets
@lani_slick
Oga move, say na worth it, what what?
That's a mansion in a third world country, what do you mean $25m, by what standard or matrix do you use in measuring the worth of this mansion.
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Everyone that's here barking just "2 days in Abuja and you are slandering Lagos", should better calm their fucking titties.
I schooled in Uniabuja 5 years, so no, this isn't my first time living here. It took me going back to Lag after school and living 3 years to appreciate Abj
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Imagine not marrying an Igbo man..So automatically I won't get to be called;
Obidiya
Ego Oyibo
Asampete
Or be treated like an actual queen?
Mbanu, Chukwu aju!🙆
Bupu asu biko🙄
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It isn't rocket science really, all you need is a laptop, smart phone, modem and N2,000.
Come the 26th of May, we will be having a digital marketing class to empower young people interested in building brands on the internet.
Venue: 12, Ezekiel street, Toyin Street, Ikeja.
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@yemi_bash
You people allowed our mommy to be pushing her luggages, ole sare gba lowo won, you don't have respect 🙄😏🤣
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@OlisaOsega
So true, cos if I like you, call me at 2am..I will tell you, "no oh, I wasn't sleeping..i was picking beans, we can talk"..And be blushing like an idiot! But if I don't like you, call me by 10am and asked me if I have had breakfast.."Did I tell you I was hungry?"😂😂😂😂
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The day I understood that time was my ally, was the day my life did a 360.
If you understood time was the currency you thought money was, you won't be beating yourself up.
Kai, if I start to write what time has helped me achieve, book go full.
Everything I ever dreamed of having when I was a child and growing up as an adult, TIME was the currency I used to pay for them.
And what I learned in the long run, is that you get tired of almost everything you were once going crazy for...EVERYTHING.
There is that moment you
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Una sorry oh, was at Johnny Drille's concert last night and he came on stage at exactly 7:30pm, by 11pm everyone had started booking their bolt. I will NEVER pay anyone a dime to waste my time, no one will disrespect me like that, I don't care who you are.
People leaving at 04:03am after 12 hours waiting for
@wizkidayo
. I feel so bad. I feel sad it’s happening in another country. Happening in Ghana. A country you reside in. This is the peak of ones Hubris.
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@AfamDeluxo
I repeat, if you do not have a boundary for which you cannot cross for anything, you are doomed.
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What shall we say to the gods of Lagos?...
Me: Bye Bye to Traffic, Never again bitches!
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"A financial firm is seeking to fill the position of an experienced Digital Marketing Strategist and Social Media Manager.
Salary: N150k/M
Knowledge and experience of Social media advertising tools, SEOs, brand building and Content creation will be an added advantage".
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Anybody that doesn't want to be called Aboki, should warn his kinsmen to not call me or mine Nyamiri, if not, Aboki shall be your name till you die. And I will mean it in the most condescending way ever. Cry me a river for all I care.
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Once again, Mount Zion movies proved their supremacy with this Enoch movie, currently on my third watch. One of most beautiful movies I have the privilege of watching in a long time. Thank you
@jay_mikee
and your siblings for continuing from your dad.
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Tobi Bakre becomes the first
#bbnaija
double wahala housemate to become verified..Abeg Lashes FC, are we still on the same level?😁😁😁
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Sometimes when I walk past my mirror, I have to come back and stare again, then I grab a chair and sit down cos I need to catch my breath.
Then I ask God why amidst tears..
1. God why so fine?
2. Shouldn't I be arrested for this freshness?
3. Isn't this a crime against humanity?
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Okay Aboki
“Aboki” by a non-Hausa person = “Nigger” by a White person.
Let’s be guided.
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3. Must be rich like a druglord.
4. Must have no girlfriend, babymamas or sugar mommies..
5. Must have sense.
Oya oh!
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@The_Nifemi
How does he chase clouts.. He is legit one of the most intelligent men on Twitter, while we can't really say the same for you..
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@EdoFirstLady
@Auntyadaa
@HopeSkinny1
@JJscatter
Please send me when they send you, I need to pay my tithe.
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I know I am a lady, but I refuse to support rubbish. Whatever will make me leave Berger to Ajah, it means I have made up your mind to knack and take full responsibility for whatever comes out of it. Claiming rape afterwards is sheer stupidity and should be punishable by law.
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Guys, y'all need to really slow down now. I am over him. It's been 3 years. Una ask question, I answer, una come dey shout "get over it". For fuck's sake, I really don't have to wish everyone well, especially if I don't wish them well. Y'all take some chill pill right now..
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@Nurudeen445
@1_brainyyy
@daddys_girlT
@Sharyfff
@bhadgyalEugie_
@Kaypoisson1
@KobbyShaggy
@Kusiemaametw3
Are you people mad to disrespect Pete like this... If Pete was in that movie, he will sacrifice his entire family, Thanos, the whole avengers and then turn the world to Chicken and live alone. How dare you? Even Amadioha is scared of Pete, such disrespect!
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Just here laughing at men's shock at how women express affection for each other. If you enter a standard female University hostel room, life go tire una.
Hilda Baci Celebrating with her friends after she had completed 100 hours of cooking! she further said she sustained some cuts and burns in the course of the cookathon as she showed them to her friends.
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@asemota
I don't waste time at all, once they start Truth or Dare, I remove myself, I am too old for this nonsense.
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I feel like my life just started, only this time with as much funds as I would have wanted in my 20s. Feels like I opened a door of ease. It feels like everything I have been told about my 30s is a lie, this is actually what I would have hoped my 20s will be.
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@aproko_doctor
I am so proud, being listening to my people speak my language for 1hour and I am not tired. I love the different dialects I am listening to, so different from what I have been used to growing up. I love it
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