Bilal Zafar | twitch.tv/zafarcakes
@Zafarcakes
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TOUR: Agent: CGagon @avalonuk .com
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Joined July 2012
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Pinned Tweet
This week...A couple of work in progress shows (BRAND NEW MATERIAL) Monday - LONDON with
@samiabuwardeh
Wednesday - OXFORD (links below)
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Wtf you cant say that man 😂😂😂😂
damn you, auto-correct...
🎤 Jimmy Carr: Natural Born Killer now playing only on Netflix
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Me getting ready before going out:
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Realising I've forgotten my headphones when I get on a train.
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Im in Tesco express, there's rumours circulating in here that her majesty has died.
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The person that filmed this has now deleted their tweet.
But it's my favourite so I saved it❤️
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ENGLAND'S GONNA WIN THE WORLD CUP🔥
The Official England World Cup 2022 song.
Produced by
@antchapmanaudio
of
@collapsed_lung
🏴🏴🏴🏴🏴🏴🏴🏴
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Everton fans celebrating Liverpool not winning the league 👏
Enjoy your day Merseyside blue rememeber who you represent and enjoy the party.
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I remember thinking this when I was 4.
This full moon is out in the middle of the day.
That’s not supposed to happen.
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BREAKING: By adding the Poppy to their Kit, Liverpool wore the colours of the Palestinian Flag by accident. The club will be issuing an apology to Rachel Riley.
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Sorry but Match of the day was actually much better last night. It showed genuine soccer for the first time. Some of the best I've ever seen. Not that usual trash. It was the first time me and my family have ever been happy.
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A LOT of people criticising that man for sticking a flare up his arse but I actually know him and he's a good guy.
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I've seen reports saying that if Messi wins the World Cup, FIFA and the U.N will offer him anything he wants in the world...and he is planning to say the FALKLANDS. Sorry, I am all for free speech but this has made me SHOOK to within an inch of my life.
😳😳😳😥
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Gonna be heartbroken if I find out they didn't swap shirts..
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Essex barbie men lgbt globalist plot.
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I support Liverpool and Celtic politically but not footbally.
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When someone shows you who they are, believe them.
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I was today years old when I discovered that radiohead were actually formed on X Factor 2006 🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯
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That is an absolute touch of class.
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TOP 100 FUNNIEST TWITCH STREAMER FAILS!!!🔥
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
🤪🤪🤪🤪🤪🤪🤪🤪🤪
🛻🎮🤡🤦♂️
#57
A RIGHT TRUCKING MESS
@DaftLimmy
@1030
@rossisacoolguy
@TwitchUKI
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No one:
Totally literally no one:
Chairs:
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Kevin De Bruyne on the Messi Salt bae incident:
"For me, he (Messi) showed that he is maybe not the GOAT. Pele and Maradona would never show disrespect to someone that has helped raise so much awareness of salt" (The Guardian)
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I'm writing an Action movie called THE CODER (starring Jason Statham) with my twitch audience.
Here is...
PAGE 1;
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If you want Boris Johnson to resign tonight, retweet this, follow me, subscribe to my twitch and YouTube, join my Patreon. Let’s send him a message 👍
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"I am not Mexican...I am Peter Andre"
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I've been trying have this cat kicking vs racism debate for years. I'm so glad it's trending.
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I was today years old when I found out that Hitmonlee from Pokémon was named after comedian Lee Mack!🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯
Pokemon creator Satoshi Tajiri was part of the open mic scene in the UK in 1989 and would often play darts with Mack.
Source: Forbes
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pls play The Kooks in his honour.
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I took my son to Tesco yesterday, he saw that the price of cheese strings had gone up and said
'Papa, is that because grocery prices have increased 3.4% in the last quarter because of Brexit driven inflation?'
He's 2 years old.
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WHEN AMERICAN SITCOMS DO FOOTBALL...
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Ian Rush is on Cameo.
Here are some of his 1 star Reviews:
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So ya'lls just 'discovered' Mambo No. 5 because they used it on stranger things? 🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄
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To the majesty (if rumours are true)
When you walk through a storm
Hold your head up high
And don't be afraid of the dark
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What ya'lls think? Any advice from fellow entrepreneurs??
(this tweet was scheduled because I'm asleep now. Apple watch is tracking my dream for investment strategy)
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Class.
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So, this is a little embarrassing😅😅😅😅
Went to see
@beck
at Brixton Academy and er...well......🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔
This um, kind of erm... HAPPENED! 😊😊😊😊🤫🤫🤫🤫🤫🤫🤫🤫🤫🤫
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With help from my
@TwitchUKI
audience, we are writing a Sitcom script that we will be sending to CBS.
Here are the first 2 minutes of..
YOU SAY TOMADA (Working Title)
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Please take this down immediately not a laughing matter
Do you have an odd addiction? Richie used Bonjela over the weekend for the first time and can’t wait for the 4 hours to pass until he can apply again. What is the strange thing you can’t get enough of?
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I did this set at the LA comedy store, if I tried this in the UK I would be banned in every single comedy club.
@GBNEWS
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20 years ago today, a group of Musicians from Oxford went on Dragons Den for £50k investment to start their band... Peter Jones obliged... And RADIOHEAD were born!
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A lot of people attacking Hancock but I actually know him and he's a good guy.
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'CREDIT WHERE IT'S DUE'
To the tune of;
'DADDY, DADDY COOL'
-bz
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Does anyone else feel like everyone's just moved on from an MP being murdered on the street by a Nazi terrorist?
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This pidgen looks like he gonna make a song🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
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This sounds like how they would do football commentary in South Park.
Lionel Messi quite simply is the 🐐
99 international goals.
800 career goals.
This is greatness.
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This is how I used to answer questions in History A Level when I'd done absolutely no reading.
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@DaftLimmy
Im having chips mind if i use some of that salt (for the chips). And can I borrow some vinegar. 🤣🤣🤣🤣
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RESPONDING TO THE ALLEGATIONS🏴👓
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Why can only ONE be the GOAT? Can't we all just enjoy Messi AND Thatcher??
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Cordon and Gervais would be arguabley the greateat double act of all time. Both incredibly talented, cheeky, most of all - genuine - good guys.
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So there's a version of this video where you can actually hear what King Charles is saying! 🔊🔊🔊
#KingCharles
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This is class
Labour has to realise that what it is currently doing is not working.
This is not working.
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GOIMG DOMINO FOR GET A PIzZA.
SEEN MY DOG.
IVE SEEN MY 2 DOGS THATS MORE THEN ONE.
#
#Dontmindifidoisupposethankyouverymuch
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@DaftLimmy
Thought that was the end of you there, I was drafting a statement to distance myself from you and was gonna ask for the merch to be returned.
But you live to fight another day and that's class.
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My Stand Up Special - CAKES is now available to watch for FREE on YouTube:
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This is the most amazing celebrity story you will ever hear.
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Very happy to announce that the kitten has arrived.
Pls help us pick a name
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I was trying some new topical stuff in Rogan's Texas comedy club last night. Went down great but if I tried this in the UK I would be banned from every club and completely cancelled.
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Just watched the invisible man and if the director sees this. I enjoyed it, unlike certain RUDE British UK streamers......
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No one:
Definitely totally no one:
Me:
Sneaking into the kitchen when everyone's opening their presents🎄to get those brussal sprouts..
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The Unabomber's Wikipedia page has a list of his bombings like it's a Filmography.
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