Robert California, Former CEO Dunder Mifflin
@WineAndWhineMe
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I tweet questions I could Google. If you know me IRL, stop reading my tweets so I can talk about how you actually kind of bother me.
Scranton, PA
Joined September 2019
Idc about Kim K at all. Pete Davidson has NEVER been funny to me. But there’s nothing funny about Kanye stalking, showing up places unannounced, threatening violence or showing obsessive behavior. That. Is. Not. Love. That shit can be real life terrifying.
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My son is the only 14 year old I know with a pocket watch. See you after school, granddad. Fuck out my car, boy.
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@KamieCrawford @PandorasCashBox Is the "new accent" in the room with us? All I hear is someone talking to a group she clearly feels comfortable with. Don't gotta use the customer service voice.
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Isn't it weird that Stacy & Courtney are white girl names but also Black guy names? But not white guy names.
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@BriannaKnipe @PoopVampire I’m so dumb. Thought D&D was Dunkin Donuts. I’m sitting here like, that sounds like a terrible party.
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@940Selfmade @Shaq_Sunflower7 I like this. And you know he's an oldschool dad cuz he still crease his jeans. That's only for real dads.
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Date night tomorrow and idk how to do my makeup 😩😩😩
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@MrGee54 Intimacy means nothing anymore. We see all the parts of people’s lives we have no business seeing. Even love is used for clout now.
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@_HeyMiranda This is exactly why I’m afraid to buy my son a bigger chain. Start calling me by my first name and shit.
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If you want to argue with me about this, argue with your mama. Public emotional/mental abuse is disgusting and i don’t have to explain myself or my opinion to anyone. Keep scrolling if you disagree. My opinion won’t change.
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@SH4KIR4 I thought women complimenting women was always safe. Wtf. Everything isn’t a flirt.
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Just so y'all can see what I'm dealing with. 🤭🤭
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I just wanna say that the BABY was wrong here.
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@missdarrybaby This is why I don’t like TikTok sometimes because a MF will really just pretend. This is the original.
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@1M4RCUS @SoloChills What if the dog and cat were already fighting and you just got caught in the middle.
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@uniquenicci__ @emuvictoria I stated my opinion of both of them BECAUSE there are so many people assuming you’re just a Kim K fan teaming up on Kanye if you shame his behavior. Y’all be so ready to disagree and argue that you ALWAYS assume there’s shady intent where there isn’t. Be better than that.
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For everybody mad at cats now, I just saw this and thought of y’all.
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@whasup_doc Potatoes can literally do no wrong. They make ELECTRICITY in small clocks. Like gtfoh. Name another food that can do that.
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@ReveriefitRae I never leave babies near pets because babies have no concept of soft touch and i don’t want to have to take sides.
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@willpremo Some people (like myself) still believe monogamy is possible so why would we want someone that deals in sexual stuff in any way with other people? Some of us still want a person that's just for us and not for everybody. For some reason that's stupid now.
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@inclcore @breezey_bre Is it weird to thoroughly enjoy seeing a Kardashian cry? Like, I feel motivated now.
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@mrdopeflo What the heck is wrong with mids though? People not allowed to like different kinds of shoes?.
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Muting this tweet. Some of you obviously have been lucky enough to not be part of an abusive relationship so the signs we see look like nothing to you. That’s a privileged position and you should feel lucky even if it is naive.
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@Orthofnbr @KamieCrawford I HOPE you understand that no mixed race Black person needs your authorization or validation to consider themselves Black. Their lineage speaks for itself regardless of how you feel about it.
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Does this look like my face exploded or do I have inappropriate squid face?
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@NeilCollufc @ruhyandee @_emily_huff This is the first time the point of a “this you” was completely lost on me. Her comment didn’t even warrant a “this you” to be honest.
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@broadwaytail @YungLoso_10 If it’s not a lid, then why does it form to the shape of the container and stay in place like a lid would do? Foil is a diy lid.
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@lamarlavishh It’s not even about the money at this point. I just hate when other people get things and i don’t. My aunt walking around like a rich bitch.
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Everybody loves Friday lol
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@acheatingvegan Styrofoam is bad for you though. Gotta get them thick paper ones and the lil wicker plate thingies underneath.
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@RichKidRai2 @FLOLIKESTELLA I played sims for YEARS and still never saw this side that apparently everyone knows about but me.
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@natestackcash @briannesworld Wine comes in single serving bottles only. Wine is just a big beer.
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@Hibzster Babies shouldn’t be anywhere in public crying. If your baby is crying, that’s a YOU problem, not an US problem. Stop making everybody suffer through it. We didn’t get you pregnant.
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@kaneshathegoat This is exactly why my neighbors be hearing me throwing salt every night just in case. This would ruin my morning.
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@GoodfellaJones @FloraAcetyra You think asking that someone show interest in what's going on with you is main character syndrome?.
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If you don’t like how I choose to word my opinion of a situation, you’re in luck. There are plenty of other tweets from other people on Twitter you may enjoy. I suggest reading those instead.
@uniquenicci__ @emuvictoria I stated my opinion of both of them BECAUSE there are so many people assuming you’re just a Kim K fan teaming up on Kanye if you shame his behavior. Y’all be so ready to disagree and argue that you ALWAYS assume there’s shady intent where there isn’t. Be better than that.
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@DvineConcinnity @JusRideTheJETT The fact that he really would not let her finish a damn sentence.
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@jerebooker82 For everybody in the replies saying “Google her if you don’t know who she is” how do you Google a picture of a person? Why not give her name since you know it.
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@peaches07 Meeting someone's family ESPECIALLY for an event or holiday is hard. If I only know that one person you better believe that's who I'm gonna be around the entire time.
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@285Slim @Mr_PHROZEN Being messy is a positive personality trait to some people. Unless y'all breaking up, why is your friend that much in your relationship.
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@whasup_doc Hell no that's hilarious. They gonna be laughing about that for at least a week. Telling their friends.
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@XcuseMyFro Never thought I’d see myself sympathizing with a Kardashian over anything but I agree.
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@RethicKulous1 Who the fuck wanna FIND something to watch on tv when you can just pick what you want in streaming apps? Cable should be obsolete.
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My sister bought me a door mat.
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@ahosix666 @potaylortotstoo @eastmepls They heard guys like goofy girls now so now everybody is a goof.
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@_DimphoM @asianting_ Doing something for me without me having to ask, because you know I needed it. I'll struggle before I beg.
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@blcjaq @baabygirldee Willow is wearing socks with trees that say “I fucking love it out here” and I neeed!.
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Telling my son goodnight. Me: hey. little baby. your head smells like balls. My son: . hey. mom. how do you know what balls smell like?. 😳😖😒. I left after that.
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My son just told me he's been taking it easy on me, not asking me to cook whole meals but now I need to step it up. Should I call the ambalamps for him or not?.
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My greatest creation is 15 years old today. I miss the cheeks.
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@jiggyjayy2 @not__bianca Being able to spot a porn star in the wild and name them says a lot about a person and it's not good things.
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@BreakfastNaked There’s an old lady at this party. This is not the vibe at all for me on so many levels.
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@bblandrn @KamieCrawford Not what was said at all. Thank you for admitting you're out of your depth in understanding what's happening here.
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I flip my mattress every month. I don't want my memory foam to get too familiar. MFs get comfortable and then start slacking. I'ma keep this mattress guessing like "Rachel, is that you? I've got a knife!". Always on edge. Scared and tense so it stays firm.
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@Ashgobert1 @SH4KIR4 Exactly! Since when can’t a woman tell another woman she has nice things? That’s what we do!.
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@shawnngee @liquorandkarate @KamieCrawford The fact that you weirdos think that was a southern accent is endlessly funny to me.
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@ann_pavone I think we all remember how Justin Bieber fans were making death threats in his name. Anything could happen.
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@odedanilo Yes! More people need to understand that apologizing or admitting you were wrong to your kids does not negate your authority or pride. Humble yourself for your kids.
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Fuck. I think we’re at the wrong park
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@DrSwearengen @KamieCrawford LMAO. Less than 10 years🤣🤣🤣 and then followed it up with an HBCU and moving back to California. But okay bud.
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I ordered a “very big spatula” online to flip my quesadillas easier. This fucking spatula is bigger than my head!! I did NOT expect this. It’s so big, it has a hinge to fold it over.
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Can I PLEASE just talk about the glow-up in my yard really quick?
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@Yatagarasu777_ @KamieCrawford Trying to negate her Blackness because she's not Black enough for YOU is fucking gross.
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