one of the most classic red flags is when a guy says "you would look so adorable shrunken down and trapped inside one of my orbs." it might sound like a compliment, but you mustn't fall for it
elementary school teacher in 2050: If you milk the Freak, what do you get?
kids: Freak milk! Freak milk!
teacher: and what do we do with Freak milk?
kids: pour it down the drain! pour it down the drain!
me: (slinks in through the back door hiding my massive black eye)
my beautiful Jamaican wife: di monster dem fi di bumbaclaat labyrinth?
me: (nods demurely)
apparently if you add some noodles to a bowl of egg yolk, laoganma, sesame paste, soy sauce, chili garlic paste, and szechuan peppercorn powder it tastes so fucking good. don't mind the look of my chopsticks i chew on them when i'm nervous
do u guys want to help me dig a big big hole? my theory is that god will see it as the opposite of the ol' babel endeavor and accordingly unconfound the language of all the earth