Richard Vein
@VeinRichard
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the whole ratatouille thing isn't that special. grab any white boy's hair and you control him
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filming the Build-A-Bear employee so they put more love into my bear
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the small crack at the base of my skull has been producing a fluid that I've taken to calling "idea milk"
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one of the most classic red flags is when a guy says "you would look so adorable shrunken down and trapped inside one of my orbs." it might sound like a compliment, but you mustn't fall for it
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if you see cctv footage of me kicking a turd out my pant leg in a kroger that's 100% chart gpt I would never do that
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the bug reading this
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(stands up abruptly) I'm bored. Let's start freaking out
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ohhh those good ole days we used to play cops and robert
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dude is inside the airport 😂😂 (thoughtful expression takes hold of my features) but where better a place for a bird to go....
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i I kind of feel bad for drawing this guy into this situation
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my uncle got blew up from the inside last week when he touched a downed telephone line
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I've been saying this for years now
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do women have their own version of being called "bossman" by the gas station guy?
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this forest beast does not fuck with my metal steed contrived by wicked artifice
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I could change gollum's whole outlook on life with a popeyes chicken sandwich and a whiskey sour
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for a blowjob to do anything for me it needs to last around 3-4 hours at a constant temperature of 120° fahrenheit
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surveying the local muck. things are looking good on all fronts
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I'm seeing some really weird stuff right now. and it's pissing me off
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elementary school teacher in 2050: If you milk the Freak, what do you get?
kids: Freak milk! Freak milk!
teacher: and what do we do with Freak milk?
kids: pour it down the drain! pour it down the drain!
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I got two phones... one is for the ladies, and one is for the Gnomes 👇
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I'm chilling. (1 thousand indecipherable microexpressions flash across my face before resolving to a placid smile 🙂)
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Oh Bugs what silly antics you get up to😅 (getting suddenly serious) but chill on my man Elmer
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Ouuufh fuck my stomach hurts. I think I ate a rotten molecule
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4th century roman seeing his first visigoth
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Can't make it out tonight bro. The being I created in my laboratory just learned disobedience
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top ten crud portions
1. Clod
2. Morsel
3. Wad
4. Heap
5. Chunk
6. Lump
7. Mound
8. Blob
9. Gob
10. Dollop
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if i was a yarn man ( a man made of yarn) i just know i'd tug absentmindedly at my loose threads until i Died
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me: (slinks in through the back door hiding my massive black eye)
my beautiful Jamaican wife: di monster dem fi di bumbaclaat labyrinth?
me: (nods demurely)
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i wonder if my favorite tree has a favorite guy. i really hope it's me
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depressed pirate whos solution to any problem is to scuttle his boat
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do you smell that too? a slight whiff of hapningmygoodchum...
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Alright, boy, I'm impressed. You've just earned yourself a Coin
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apparently if you add some noodles to a bowl of egg yolk, laoganma, sesame paste, soy sauce, chili garlic paste, and szechuan peppercorn powder it tastes so fucking good. don't mind the look of my chopsticks i chew on them when i'm nervous
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I'm always saying shit like "I see," and "understood!" and "all clear"
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You're really cute. Want to come over and help me pry open the small grate in my cellar that leads to Rat World?
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I gotta quit scrying man. Just caught a glimpse of my death at the hands of the marauding Bugmen who roam the Midwestern Wastes in the 2050s
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one time when i was 12 i was alone with my uncle in his backyard and he blasted a raccoon with a fireball spell
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Hobbit stoners be like "Bro is this Old Toby? I thought I told you I can only smoke Longbottom Leaf bro I'm freaking out"
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we caught my nephew fucking around with a being he found in the creek
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Man dissects goblin with scalpel; you won't believe what he finds inside...
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I invented an app that gives you a respiratory infection. Click to download?
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Come closer Cursed One. Let me look upon thy brand. (Checks out your Cursed Brand) Oh shit, man. shitttt... (looks closer) Fuck...
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Hey, kid. (handing you a 12 dollar bill) go buy yourself an item.
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do u guys want to help me dig a big big hole? my theory is that god will see it as the opposite of the ol' babel endeavor and accordingly unconfound the language of all the earth
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certain living creatures have learned to glide on currents of air
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drawing a bunch of random sigils until something cool happens
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