talana 💌
@TalanaJordan
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Following
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professional, full-time yapper. 💌 subscribe! ↆ
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Joined June 2013
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NUNEW DEBUT IN JAPAN
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Pinned Tweet
i wanna be able to relate to short n sweet but in reality, i am tall n mean
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unfollowed haley pham, we need to hold creators accountable for their actions during the pandemic. creators that never took the pandemic seriously should not have a platform.
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me seeing that tana mongeau is good with bella thorne again so i have to refollow bella on everything again smh
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literally ALL of my youtube recommended page is podcasts Tana Mongeau have been on
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1127 NEW CASES OF CORONAVIRUS IN ARIZONA YESTERDAY. THIS SHIT ISN'T OVER. WEAR A MASK AND GLOVES. STOP HANGING OUT WITH PEOPLE AND PRETENDING EVERYTHING IS SAFE NOW BECAUSE IT'S NOT.
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tana mongeau is consistently tormented by songs titled "karma"
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is anyone else annoyed with everyone cuz they all have boyfriends and all I got is a life size poster of Norman Reedus
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the LaBrant Family's new video is literally gonna have me going out of my way to sign pro-choice petitions & donating to Planned Parenthood. this is so disgusting, dangerous, and embarrassing to put out to your young audience.
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@CapnDesDes
#QNA
what would you do if greg paul walked in on you with a girl and yelled "GP COMING AT YA"
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@mermaidmusin
we don't have to be excited about it, but putting this out there is gonna influence moderate voters to vote for trump instead. be more careful with your words.
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damn trump, if i had a nickel for every time you've been impeached i would have 2 nickels... which isn't a lot but it's weird it happened twice 😌✌️
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Desert Mountain stands With Parkland in an effort to protect our schools with gun reform
#GunReformNow
#Parkland
#Walkout
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mr. bogo: guys so I was walking back from the bathroom and this girl yells down the stairs to her friends and says "GONNA GO BUY 2 GRAMS OF COKE TONIGHT" and I really didn't know what to do
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@feyiun
but a lot of us didn't, and the pandemic got as bad as it did because most people didn't take as serious as they should have
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Me: *loudly opens Diet Coke can in class*
Marcella: is that your breakfast
Me: *chugging Coke and points to M&M's on my desk*
Marcella: beautiful
Me: I'm a health guru
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I just took the ap psychology test and i think i did good so im basically a psychologist now
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30 minutes left until polls close in AZ!!! get in line & stay in line!
#AZGov
#VoteBlueToSaveDemocracy
#KatieHobbs
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I'm going to buy a sandwich from y'all tonight solely bc of this tweet
how long does the gov’t have to be shut down before we can start calling dibs on tanks and stuff
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just found the town that the entire male population of my high school is from...
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*listens to "bartier cardi" in car with nonreligious dad*
him: ...
me: ...
him: so you wanna go to church this weekend
me: um yup church that...that sounds good yes
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me: okay you can pick me up now
dad: *sends penguin emoji* 🐧
me: ...idk what I'm supposed to do now
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I was texting someone and I meant to say "and I oop" and my phone autocorrected it to "and I poop" and now I'm crying of laughter in a carwash lobby
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you said she didnt have the presidential look
WHAT YOURE SAYING IS SHE DOESNT HAVE MALE GENITALIA SO SHE CANNOT BE OR LOOK LIKE A PRESIDENT
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trusting someone with so much just to eventually have them prove you never could have trusted them in the first places is a different type of pain
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me: do you like teaching IB better than AP?
teacher: oh no definitely not
me: why is that?
teacher: bc if there is a 1 point difference between what their grade is and what they think it should be... i mean, i risk getting killed in my sleep. some of those kids are hardcore.
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so apparently kids under 20 can be carriers for coronavirus without ANY symptoms, pls be safe and stay home. if not for yourself, for the people with weaker immune systems
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when in your college of thousands of people, you run into your boyfriends ex in line and she starts giving you dirty looks and talking shit...
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putting a blanket on someone while they're sleeping is one of the purest things someone can do
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so after i emailed my terrible teacher and told her off for giving me a 45 on a perfectly fine assignment
she responded 3 days later, didnt tell me why i got the grade i did and said she raised it...
TO A 53????
LIKE MA'AM YOU MISSED THE POINT OF MY EMAIL
#WorstTeacherEver
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so thankful for this opportunity to work with
@YouTube
and the chance to help share information about the vaccines!!
If you're vaccinated like
@sophmosca
,
@thatsJassie
,
@ChrisRiceNY
, &
@TalanaJordan
, there's plenty to be excited about. Almost all new COVID-19 cases are among people who haven't been vaccinated. Learn more →
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dad: I hate the word "sub"
mom: eww
dad: she hates accs
kade: did you just use accs as an acronym for acronym?
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*watching Nemo*
brother: why don't i ever see the first part of the movie where Nemo's mom dies?
me: because I don't like it. it makes me sad.
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me: what's margarita pizza
dean: its just cheese pizza w basil on it
me: what's basil
dean: ARE YOU KIDDING ME, I'M LEAVING *STANDS UP* I DON'T THINK THIS WILL WORK
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me: *having meaningful conversation with my boyfriend*
alex walks up with his fingers like a gun and yells: GIMME ALL YOUR CATCASH!!!
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Why am I paying $10,000 a semester for college just to attempt to teach MYSELF by reading books and not understanding them at all?
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WEAR BLACK ON THE 4TH OF JULY. DO NOT CELEBRATE. THERE IS NOTHING TO CELEBRATE ABOUT THIS EMBARRASSMENT OF A COUNTRY.
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“i ruined so many things that could’ve been amazing because i was sad”
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Me: *telling boyfriend about the ghost in my room *
BF: Maybe the ghost has good taste in strong independent women
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hey guys! on the bright side, quarantining yourself is a great time to start weaning yourself off of juuling or smoking before we go on a full lockdown and those resources won't be available to you anymore! be sure to get patches or anything else that helps with withdrawal!! xx
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how much y'all wanna bet there's gonna be a baby boom after the quarantine is over
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me: im kinda sad
connor: well biologically you won't stay sad for more than 4 hours bc you will run out of neurotransmitters
me: thanks
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*goes to choir banquet*
me: damnit! mom isn't here so we can't fill her purse with food!
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Dean on FaceTime: my throat hurts
Me on FaceTime: Yeah from sucking too much (RA opens door) ...oh HEYYY
(RA closes door)
Me: ...dick
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there is no way that people that don't know "opposite" got tickets to see Sabrina Carpenter and i didn't.
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let me give you a treason or two on why trump should be impeached...
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if one single 12 year old got olivia rodrigo tickets i'm gonna throw hands
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Me: what's the sitch?
Mom: lol so this lady...
Me: WAIT... I just realized that means "what's the situation"
Mom: really?
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normal talana: 🦋💞🤗🦋💞🤗
talana after 4pm: *yells out car window at sorority girls*: WHERE DID ALL OF YOU GET THE SAME OUTFIT
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getting to visit home after starting college really makes you realize how much you don't like college
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*semi swerves a little off the road*
brother: I bet he's playing PokemonGo
me: yeah he had to swerve 3 feet to the right to capture a pidgey
brother: um no a pidgey isn't worth it
me: how about a charizard
brother: oh yeah, I'd drive off a cliff for a charizard
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its officially "everyone in scottsdale pretends the weather is good enough to still wear jeans" season!!
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i can't believe i passed up getting fast food 2 weeks ago... how selfish was i thinking i could "just get it later"😭😭
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i was having a nightmare that there was a second pandemic going on where you couldn't look at anyone or be in the sunlight without getting sick while COVID-19 was still happening and everyone was stuck outside.
and then i woke up and half of the nightmare was still real😒
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anayse: i got a bug bite on my upper thigh
me: OMG ME TOO
both: *shows each other* BUTT BITE BUDDIES AHHG
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LUKE MOTHERHECKING HEMMINGS JUST DOUBLED TAKED AND ME AND MY FRIEND HOLDING OUR HANDS UP AS HEARTS
I'M LITERALLY CRYING RIGHT NOW
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*gets out of class at 9:15 and has a meeting at 10*
my brain:
hmm what should i do until then...
thinking
thinking
I'll go sit in the bathroom for 30 minutes on twitter and then go
much good idea
#Twitter
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switching from listening to EICS to watching joshua bassett's live makes me feel like a traitor (olivia's version)
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I remember when
@5SOS
released "Girls Talk Boys", I only saw the hashtag
#girlstalkboys
and I thought the title of the song was "Girl Stalk Boys"
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when your marketing teacher announces to the class that it's your 1 year anniversary of doing YouTube to the class and told everyone to follow you
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I really went to 3 classes today with 3 days worth of clothes, pajamas, a toothbrush and a stuffed animal in my backpack. How are you doing?
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mom: omg wouldn't it be funny if you accidentally dated your cousin at UA?
me: no
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didn't mean to burst your bubble guys, but thin cloth masks literally don't do anything and masks actually do go over your nose
*shocking info*
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brother: *sees spider* fuck fuck
mom: fuck fuck what
me & mom in sync: fuck fuck goose
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me in denial looking at my crunchy, brown plant: no it's not dead, it's just napping
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hello class, welcome to chemistry, the place where all your hopes and dreams will die
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dad&me: *in deep convo about plans for fall break*
brother yells: OK GOOGLE, ARE THERE WILD HAMSTERS?
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if trump is actually gonna build a wall, can he do it while all the frat boys are still in mexico
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meghan: *wearing "i don't fucking care" socks*
jamie: your sock was folded so i thought it said "i don't fuck"
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i stfg if the phoenix billie eilish show gets cancelled bc selfish people can't wear masks and understand that even vaccinated people can get/die from covid (omicron's version), i will lose my shit
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