TVMBLE
@TVMBLEZ
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i run and edit everything on @ValorantEsports TikTok | opinions are my own | he/him | email: nucleargarden @gmail .com
Los Angeles, CA
Joined March 2011
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twitch streamer: *is a girl*
random viewer: first of all, how dare you
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not to be dramatic but if you’re a picky eater as an adult you’re a burden to everyone around you.
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⚠️⚠️ IF YOU ARE BUYING A CAMERA AND ARE STARTING OUT WITH MAKING CONTENT, PLEASE STOP BUYING WEBCAMS PERIOD ⚠️⚠️
i’m begging of you, please give this a read 🧵
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me: i just can’t help but feel like i’m drowning. every time i pay off an expense, another one piles on top of that greater than the last. its a vicious cycle.
therapist: ...is this about Animal Crossing?
me: .....
therapist: just pay the raccoon.
me: he’s actually a tanooki
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viewer: *relentlessly bullies streamer*
streamer: ah yes, you are moderator material
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when you enter a random twitch stream for the first time and see your friend is a mod there.
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this is literally the worst pokémon advice you could give, professor oak
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@onewiththegif
i’m starting to think the 40 year olds who spend too much time on star wars reddit don’t actually understand star wars
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streamers: ah yes i am a comedian
the comedy: zoom into closeup of face
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@GodsGift2Man69
his whole account revolves around stealing replies from other people and passing them off as if it’s his own
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@CultureCrave
@VanityFair
he followed this up by immediately starring in The Grey Man and Ghosted
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these are honestly the two extremes of streamers you find on twitch
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james cameron’s avatar 2: electric boogaloo was shot on 2 sony f950 stereotypic cameras and are far superior than any webcam you can buy. this should be your starting point.
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@kittischmitti
star wars fans when a director prioritizes good writing over their headcanon fan service:
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had a dream where i tweeted “computer chips and chocolate chips are two chips that don’t go well with salsa” and it immediately went viral.
i was heralded as a pioneer and received a creativity award from the president, who was obama.
wonder what my therapist will think.
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almost no webcam on the market is capable of capturing galactic bodies light years away on the same level as the hubble telescope. its honestly laughable to think a 3x webcam could capture the horse head galaxy in the same detail as the hubble
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@jbromovies
trying to show off your vocal range while singing “children dying in the schools” is unreal
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nobody:
absolutely nobody:
twitch streamers: at 200 subs i’m going to dye my pubes purple
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nobody:
the men making Escape from Tarkov: wOmEn CaNt HaNdLe StReSs Of ThE WAR ™
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normalize watching a streamer play your favorite game and not being passive aggressively judgmental if they struggle on a part you’ve beaten a million times.
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streamer: *goes live on twitch*
streamer’s internet: aight imma dip out
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imax cameras give a much wider, more grand pov than a webcam can ever dream of. if you really want to stand out in the competitive twitch market, at minimum you should at least be looking into imax cameras
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viewer submitting his twitch boyfriend audition to his favorite female streamer.
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@CommunityElden
he’s right, it is the size of limgrave. he just didn’t specify how many limgraves
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twitch streamers: please do not discuss your age in chat thanks.
viewers under 18: ah yes, time to talk about my age exclusively.
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twitch: you know what would be a fun prank?
me: please don’t-
twitch: let’s make it REALLY HARD for smaller streamers to benefit from subtember ;P
me: i’m not su-
twitch: also i deleted twitch sings
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let’s take a break from positivity.
tag a streamer who you think you could take in a fight
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THIS WAS NOT THE EMAIL I WAS EXPECTING TO SEE FROM TWITCH TODAY!!!
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how to be a twitch streamer according to angry boys:
-be a girl
-have boobs
-steal viewers
-don’t even play games
-ascend to heaven
-kill god
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i lost so many followers on instagram posting this but hi guys. this is my gf.
she’s super great and pretty and i hope you don’t hate me for dating her!
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nobody:
twitch streamers: guys i swear i’m not this bad at the game off stream
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@RealSmeth
@CensoredMen
this content annoys me, but there’s nothing wrong with how aj is conducting himself here lol. he’s giving polite notes. it’s really standard and the whole process lasts a minute and a half. not really that wild
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the biggest twist of game of thrones was robyn arryn becoming a snacc
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friend: so what exactly do you do on twitch? play fortnite or???
me:
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@AlexisTrust
it’s a tough 15 seconds of him entering and leaving that they will never get back. they could have been working instead
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if you told me that 2020 would see evidence of both UFOs and the loch ness monster and still suck, i would have thought you to be nuts
so first the witches, amish, and satanists came out to join the protests and now we got the loch ness monster on deck? our deep sea queen said defund the police💦
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be sure to check your kid's Halloween candy. my little sister found the Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim in her snickers bar
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@Frederick221830
@The_GM_is_God
@broll_american
in a fantasy setting, i can assure you looking cool is more important than realism
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the superpower of every twitch streamer is the ability to talk for hours upon hours without actually saying anything.
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i tried to make one of those positivity word videos but i don't know how to make the words show up SOMEONE HELP
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@MauraLeeLang
voting places in college towns and high centers of young populations typically have 5 hour plus waits due to voter suppression.
but keep saying how its just laziness, karen.
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since Duel of the Fates is trending can we talk about how the all-time greatest Star Wars moment is when Darth Maul does a flip, points to debris, and force throws it
for
no
fucking
reason
at
all
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BIG ANNOUNCEMENT!!!!!!
i did not get partnered but i learned how to steal photos on twitter
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love yourself the same way female streamers love the selfies of other female streamers.
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This is Not an Animal Crossing Nintendo Switch Giveaway!
I want to let everyone know I bought both a copy of New Horizons as well as the Switch Console
To not enter:
Retweet
Follow me
@tumbledorez
Tag Some friends
YOU WILL WIN NOTHING BUT YOULL TELL PPL ABOUT MY NEW SWITCH
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@alphaINTEL
i’m mostly a console player but when i switch to PC i always get more kills. i think the pc players are whining at a non issue
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if you’re in a raid and the streamer you’re raiding is not your cup of tea/too weird for you, instead of saying “what the fuck is this” or immediately criticizing, you can just say nothing.
it’s just that easy.
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this is what every every streamer who only has a donation tab and uses "supportsmallstreamers lurk4lurk" looks like.
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a new viewer came into my stream and said “nice hair (no homo)” and i’m really glad he clarified the no homo because i was fully prepared to suck his dick.
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you’re in her DMs. i’m in her minecraft server with my bed next to hers. we are not the same.
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i think more male streamers need to make violent complements on each others’ selfies like how female streamers do to each other.
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shroud: *joins mixer*
everyone who switched to mixer when Ninja went over but came back to twitch: hey guys, we’re gonna give mixer another shot.
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