M. L. Rio
@SureAsMel
Followers
11,098
Following
1,921
Media
1,049
Statuses
12,010
Early modernist. Author of IF WE WERE VILLAINS. 'At once charming and insufferable' per the NYTBR. Rep @ariellemarla . She/her.
Washington, DC
Joined February 2011
Don't wanna be here?
Send us removal request.
Explore trending content on Musk Viewer
FEMA
• 1463443 Tweets
2NE1
• 319490 Tweets
Joker
• 168200 Tweets
#XiaoZhan33rdBDAY
• 158308 Tweets
天使の日
• 131059 Tweets
Mancuso
• 92450 Tweets
Campana
• 73660 Tweets
名探偵ピカチュウ
• 56321 Tweets
Grammys
• 51543 Tweets
AFFAIR EP6
• 37538 Tweets
Ocho
• 35966 Tweets
Bielsa
• 34801 Tweets
Pogba
• 34283 Tweets
Trump Bible
• 32116 Tweets
Ramírez
• 24816 Tweets
Uyuşturucu
• 20802 Tweets
HAPPY 2nd BIRTHDAY SMILEY
• 19380 Tweets
Best Record
• 17989 Tweets
マジルミエ
• 16965 Tweets
栞子ちゃん
• 13560 Tweets
菅野メジャー
• 12189 Tweets
Last Seen Profiles
For a fun game, let's do a tour of the unit
@Airbnb
refuses to give me a refund for! I'm sure they'd hate if you liked it shared this, which seems to be the only way to get their attention. Let's start with the entryway. Not off to a great start re: cleanliness.
5K
39K
266K
Fun fact before you accuse me of snooping,
@Airbnb
: I opened this cabinet trying to see what was up with the hot water after it lasted just long enough to wash another roach down the drain. Guess how
@AirbnbHelp
responded to that problem:
192
2K
54K
When I first got here, there was a small cockroach in the kitchen. I killed it, which was evidently my mistake, because
@AirbnbHelp
wanted proof. Since then I've killed two more and one got away, but here's your proof!
123
1K
37K
But wait,
@Airbnb
! There's more: when I left today I locked the door. When I got back it was unlocked and one of the screws was missing from the deadbolt. The host is, naturally, suggesting that I am too stupid to lock a door properly despite locking it ten times before.
79
1K
34K
Of course, hot water isn't the only water problem. It's raining tonight, dear
@Airbnb
, so naturally the ceiling is leaking:
33
976
32K
@Airbnb
@AirbnbHelp
Thank you all for going on this journey with me. If it discourages any one of you from ever booking with
@Airbnb
, then at least I achieved something.
134
1K
32K
@Airbnb
So, for a recap: roaches and rodents and water and filth and (possibly?) breaking and entering? Oh my! But not, apparently, oh my enough for
@AirbnbHelp
to give a rat's ass:
197
1K
31K
But it's not just roaches. We also have rodents. Mouse droppings and general filth between the fridge and the cabinets. In case you think there's a chance it could be anything else, think again.
70
941
27K
67
829
25K
@Airbnb
@AirbnbHelp
But it was actually so much worse than this, so here's the saga of what reaching out to
@AirbnbHelp
about this was like:
29
596
23K
@Airbnb
@AirbnbHelp
5pm: I check in. Immediately notice the furniture is different from the pictures (no couch, but a crappy futon instead). Willing to give it the benefit of the doubt because I try not to be an asshole, usually. Naïve, clearly. But then I notice the heat doesn't seem to be working.
12
466
21K
@Airbnb
@AirbnbHelp
I reach out to the host, who sends a handyman. He removes an HVAC filter that is BLACK. Like the cancerous lung of a lifelong chain-smoker. Feeling more uneasy but thinking, okay, maybe it's just been a while since they had a guest.
8
462
20K
For everyone asking why I didn't just get a hotel, I needed a pet-friendly month-long stay. If you are not a millionaire Airbnb is, sadly, often your best (or only) option.
158
310
20K
@Airbnb
@AirbnbHelp
7:30am: I reach out. A DIFFERENT
@AirbnbHelp
person who clearly hasn't read any of the previous conversation replies:
35
482
18K
@Airbnb
@AirbnbHelp
6pm I haven't seen the roaches yet. I decided to make dinner. (I should mention I have booked this place for A MONTH.) The stove has four mismatched knobs, none of which are pointing the same way. They turn the gas on, but don't turn it off so easy!
14
435
18K
@Airbnb
@AirbnbHelp
But this is ALSO apparently the wrong move because (according to the
@Airbnb
ethos) what you're obviously supposed to do when you're naked and under running water is whip out your phone (from where?? afraid to ask) and document the situation. Okay, my bad.
8
428
18K
@Airbnb
@AirbnbHelp
We've already covered the hot water, so we'll skip that part. By now it's after 11. I finally call
@AirbnbHelp
because it's just one affront too many. Little did I know how many affronts were left in store. I tip my hat to you,
@Airbnb
. I underestimated your sadism hugely.
12
492
17K
@Airbnb
@AirbnbHelp
7pm: Back in the unit. Guard is up. When the first roach shows itself I smash it and toss it, since that's what a sane person does with a roach, right? Wrong! Obviously you stop to take pictures first, or at least you do according to
@AirbnbHelp
.
12
435
17K
@Airbnb
@AirbnbHelp
So I, the more fool I, call
@AirbnbHelp
AGAIN. I spend two hours on the phone, with different reps who are not any of the first five reps I spoke to, telling me that they have no idea who promised me a refund even though they recorded the call and I gave them a timestamp.
17
446
17K
@Airbnb
@AirbnbHelp
So at about 7:30 I reach out to
@AirbnbHelp
. Explain the issues. They tell me they need to reach out to the host first and they'll be back in touch within the hour. They're not. I wait. Decide to take a shower. Wrong move. There's a roach waiting for me in the tub. I drown him.
17
428
17K
@Airbnb
@AirbnbHelp
I contact the host again in a bit of a panic. The gas is off, I think, but the place sure smells like gas. So they send the property manager over. He tries and fails to fix the stove then asks me to come downstairs and look at a different unit with a working stove. Sus? Yes.
11
393
17K
@Airbnb
@AirbnbHelp
After a little more flirty back-and-forth, this person ghosts me. So I get on the phone again and finally, FINALLY! someone seems prepared to help. She makes all the right sympathetic noises and says she can offer me a refund but only if I check out BY 11 PER THE HOST'S POLICY
7
372
16K
@Airbnb
@AirbnbHelp
Then came today. Then came the deadbolt, the mice, the leaking ceiling, the roaches--this time LIVE FROM THE SCENE AND CAUGHT ON CAMERA!--and who knows what horrors await? I've messaged the host but they're not responding and calling support is worse than useless so here we are!
7
391
16K
@Airbnb
@AirbnbHelp
Because I don't have $2500 (yes! That's how much I'm paying for the privilege of living here for a month!) to just light on fire and go stay somewhere else, I had to move BACK in the day after I moved in and back out again because that's what they told me to do.
13
380
16K
@Airbnb
@AirbnbHelp
It's now 9 so I bust my ass packing up a month's worth of belongings and a whole load of groceries. I don't have my car because the host completely misrepresented the parking situation (that was the prequel I spared you), forcing my partner to drop everything and come get me.
6
353
15K
@Airbnb
@AirbnbHelp
I provide additional evidence and the month or tenth person I've talked to says they'll the review the situation and get back to me with a decision. The decision is that I don't qualify for AirCover or a refund and in so many words I can go fuck myself.
9
359
15K
@Airbnb
@AirbnbHelp
I get someone named "Jennifer M" on the phone. She asks for evidence, which I duly provide (except for the hot water, which she never did tell me how to document). I tell her I have to go to bed and she says she'll work on the issue overnight and update the chat. She does not.
16
376
15K
@Airbnb
@AirbnbHelp
Now this support person who promised me the refund. Also promise she'd be back in touch within an hour. Guess what? An hour comes and goes. I send fifteen messages and nobody replies. At 11:40 someone calls me back and immediately hangs up.
6
370
15K
@Airbnb
@AirbnbHelp
And, of course, stay tuned for any exciting updates. What will it be next? Place your bets!
25
254
14K
I couldn't make this shit up and I'm a writer, people literally pay me to make shit up
82
272
14K
Let the record show I did the dishes and put everything back EXACTLY as I found it, because, you know,
@Airbnb
wants proof and I wouldn't put it past this host to trash this place worse than it is and blame it on me 😘
37
252
12K
For those of you who have expressed concern, my partner is coming to get me, AGAIN, after I pack up, AGAIN. So, thanks to them and no thanks to
@Airbnb
I will be back in a safe place shortly ❤️
10
218
11K
They're talking refunds now but still trying to make me pay 70% of the cost of the nights I spent in the unit after they FORCED ME TO MOVE BACK IN by refusing me a refund in the first place
31
181
11K
I'm home! But will update this thread with whatever shenanigans Airbnb throws at me next because I'm sure this ain't over
55
125
10K
In all seriousness, y'all are doing the Lord's work, thank you
10
119
10K
@Airbnb
Except for the mug I put out to catch the drip from the ceiling and the screw that "fell" out of the door which is now in a glass on the table, so really I'm doing them a favor
16
152
9K
Anyway I probably should have done this 40 tweets ago but I'm new to going viral so... I guess if you enjoyed this or want to help offset the cost of this debacle you could read my book? That would be cool of you
76
287
8K
In any case thanks again for everyone who helped get this seen and shake some things loose 🤞🏻
97
87
7K
Desperately need to go to bed and waiting on Airbnb to address some sticking points still -- what fresh hell will tomorrow hold?
11
74
6K
@SutrisnaBhowmik
@Airbnb
I can only recommend taking to Twitter, sadly, since nothing else has worked
23
19
4K
28
4
3K
@underthenettle
@Airbnb
They can't, or don't want to, because then they don't get their cut? 🧐
12
16
2K
Not to be too after-school special about it but this really is an object lesson in why empathy matters. I'll be paying your goodness forward as best I can 🖤
2
16
2K
I'm so overwhelmed by the response to this, and I have some thoughts but not enough characters so I wrote them out on Substack:
2
23
2K
18
10
2K
Hugely grateful to everyone. Wow, it has been the weirdest 18 hours.
2
14
2K
Really a shame doctors can't just prescribe a vacation in a secluded seaside town to cure what ails you anymore
7
407
2K
Not me buying an ebook of my own book because I haven't actually read it in five years and I'm supposed to talk about it in front of people tomorrow nope
14
24
1K
But also probably muting this thread now because ya girl needs a nap xx
8
10
1K
@theLUCASTDS
@SutrisnaBhowmik
@Airbnb
Support has reached out to me and said I should expect a call. I told them unless they're calling with a full refund don't bother.
10
13
1K
My ereader suggesting my own book to me as I use it to edit book 3 is a little surreal
4
10
799
6
0
611
Come for the spredges, stay for the swordplay ⚔️
Class is back in session September 24 🍷
8
33
535
I teach in a women's prison and a staggering number of my students are in for killing abusive partners in self-defense and many already got screwed by the police or the legal system, but they have a better sense of civic duty than most free-range adults I know. LET THEM VOTE.
people get so weird and cagey whenever you talk about letting incarcerated people vote like what do you think they’re gonna do........ write in “murder should be legal” on their ballot and then suddenly lawmakers will be like “well my hands are tied. murder is legal now”
217
45K
184K
1
131
507
Something wicked 🎬
15
68
471
For the love of God stop tagging authors in bad reviews, literally nobody needs that shit right now
5
35
409
My phone just tried to change "writing advice" to "rioting advice" and I feel that's a good representation of 2017.
1
124
386
Hey kids, cool news ⚔️ NEW US EDITION OF IWWV coming soon ⚔️
Taking the term "sprayed edges" quite literally. On-sale 9.24.24
#IWWV
#ifwewerevillains
5
44
394
So someone has created a ChatGPT bot which pretends to be the characters from my book. Someone is also profiting off this as part of "ChatGPT plus." Undoubtedly the bot has been trained using my work, which I didn't consent to and am not receiving a commission from.
3
49
352
Seeing some great reader sketches lately (artists linked on my IG, can't find 'em here)
1
28
286
Fredrik Backman saying he became a writer because it was "the best way I knew to get paid for being insane" NAILED IT
2
14
288
@LauraPAuthor
@andevers
Probably once in a Waterstones when a guy tried to mansplain Shakespeare to me. I was wearing my nametag from the Globe for the entirety of this interaction.
2
2
270
Let's get weird 🐀
Launch at
@BNPhillyPA
Sept 24 🪦
All US and UK tour dates in bio (more TBA) 🕸️
5
11
260
In the studio today with
@MacmillanAudio
to record some stuff for GRAVEYARD SHIFT 🪦 Stoked for you guys to hear it
4
7
240
Theatre people dead-ass convinced the world will end if you say "Macbeth" in spitting distance of a theatre (someone once CALLED MY AGENT to complain about characters in IWWV doing this because A REAL THESPIAN WOULD NEVER)
I’m very superstitious. Gimme some of your favorite superstitions, weird beliefs your grandma had, lucky charms, favorite rituals, etc.
190
11
185
5
11
238
@ChuckWendig
Once ended up in a fire-dancing drum circle with Steven Tyler through a series of events I absolutely cannot explain in 280 characters but it is a true thing that happened when I was 22
5
1
226