Stephen Marche
@StephenMarche
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novelist, columnist, enemy of boredom. "On Writing and Failure" 02/23
Toronto
Joined January 2011
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In all seriousness, what was the point of Article 25 if it wasn't to protect against Presidents who think they're King of the Jews and want to buy Greenland? What other sign do you need?
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Most French thing ever to happen? "I'm marching but I'm conscious of the confusion and hypocrisy of the situation."
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Writer: And then in the final scene he meets the Russian agents, right in the WH.
Producer: I told you to get the fuck out of my office.
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I learned in Thor: Ragnarok that Bruce Banner has seven PhDs. No wonder he's so angry all the time. cc
@AcademicsSay
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Up close this is an amazing handshake. Note how Trudeau is pulling at times and pushing at other times to keep his hand in the same spot.
President Trump welcomes Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau to the White House.
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Writer: But then the President just fires the cops who are investigating him and thats how it ends.
Producer: Get the fuck out of my office.
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Only a special kind of asshole sees fifty people dead and says "I called it."
What has happened in Orlando is just the beginning. Our leadership is weak and ineffective. I called it and asked for the ban. Must be tough
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AI is about to kill the undergraduate essay, and the chasm between the humanities and technology means that we're totally unprepared for the moment. Wrote about it for
@TheAtlantic
:
The College Essay Is Dead
Nobody is prepared for how AI will transform academia.
www.theatlantic.com
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I guess this is like the moment during Watergate when everyone realized "OK, people are going to have to go to jail."
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Just a quick question for Canadians on my list, how long have you had to wait to vote in an election? I have never missed voting, and the longest I ever waited was fifteen minutes. Has anyone here ever had to endure these massive American wait times?
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Is this the perfect tweet?
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It's an interesting fact that, if Trudeau came out of the meeting and said "he really does have tiny hands," Canada would stop existing.
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On The Tragically Hip and what it means to burn out.
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@MadScientistFF
If you can't afford to tip, you can't afford to be in a restaurant. Period.
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Yesterday
@SunwingVacay
flew an empty plane down to Tobago and took us all home. They even gave, for free, empty seats to stranded Canadians needing to get home. Crisis reveals companies as much as people I guess. I won't forget it when the good times come back.
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I keep remembering how none of us in Toronto believed it was possible for Rob Ford to be elected right up until he was.
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If Gawker were alive we would have read this report six weeks ago and probably already seen the video.
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It's something of a national achievement that Canada was able to bring one day of boredom to an America that desperately needed it.
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I went and saw a hologram named Hatsune Miku give a concert in New York recently, for
@Medium
's future human issue, and I sort of loved it.
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One of the rules of politics in my lifetime: Never, ever believe a Conservative who says they're going to be fiscally responsible. They never ever are.
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The former chair of the
@YorkUniversity
sociology department is one of hate criminals charged with targeting Jewish businesses. Left-wing academia in Canada has well and truly lost its way.
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@chrislhayes
@JBennet
When Rob Ford was elected, he replaced the books in the mayor's office with chocolate bars.
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Writer: But then it turns out that the *President* is the spy.
Producer: Get the fuck out of my office.
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A friend of mine who works with vulnerable communities in Toronto just got her Covid shot, which means she received the vaccine before the Prime Minister did. This, to me, is what it means to live in a civil society.
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Canadian progressives: Please remember this. This is real. This is lasting.
The PM’s marine protection announcement makes up an area larger than Nfld and Labrador. It means the Trudeau govt exceeds its goal to protect 10% of marine and coastal areas by nearly 4 per cent. PM: “this is what real change looks like”.
#cdnpoli
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Everyone on the left in Canada recognizes that Trudeau is leading the most successful progressive government in the world, right? And that when his government goes it won't be replaced by highly ethical idealists but by the Canadian Conservatives, right?
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The faces of men who realize they're on the wrong side of the table.
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When you know that the people in this photo are indigenous Americans, this tweet takes on a virtually cosmic irony.
They break into our country, steal resources, then do shit like this. And libs still wonder why we are pushing for immigration controls...
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Try explaining to any American political commentator that the biggest scandal in Canadian politics over the past year boils down to a one time payment of 1500 bucks to the Prime Minister's mom.
Breaking: We Charity just posted documents for Parl Committee. Included: “Between February 2012 and March 2020, Sophie Trudeau attended a total of 8 WE Day events.
She received a one-time speaking fee of $1,500.00 in 2012. The total amount of expenses... 1/2
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Anthopolous being declared exec of the year during the conference call about his departure is the most Toronto sports moment of all time.
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Been pondering this quote lately: “They were careless people, Tom and Daisy- they smashed up things and creatures and then retreated back into their money or their vast carelessness or whatever it was that kept them together, and let other people clean up the mess they had made.”
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Of course Gen X would be called to save the world by sitting inside watching TV.
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@davidfrum
@TheAtlantic
Absolutely not a correction. The line in the article up now, reads "An independent assessment by two dozen Canadian academics found that Trudeau has kept 92 percent of his campaign promises, fully or partially, the most by any Canadian government in 35 years." You're lying.
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@MollyJongFast
No joke: Found my daughter with a bird book with a friend watching our birdfeeder. They literally ran out of TV.
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Writer: And then they discover the leak's name is Reality, and then they, like, lock up Reality.
Producer: Get the fuck out of my office.
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No no, Trump doesn't say what he never didn't mean.
I like Trump because he says what he does not not mean.
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I'm not sure Americans fully understand how much damage has been done to their international reputation and national interest today. What is the point, anymore, of being on America's side?
Analysis: Trump has officially put more tariffs on U.S. allies than on China
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I feel like, if I were President, the part of the job I would find easiest is the part where you say that Nazis are bad.
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In this Brooklyn bagel shop they love Trump so much they named a sandwich after him.
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On the Convoy, for
@TheAtlantic
: "When you live next to a junkie, you can expect something flaming to land in your backyard eventually. America is a political-anger junkie; the trucker convoy is something flaming that has landed in our backyard."
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Liz Truss is no Kim Campbell. Not even close. Kim Campbell was perfectly competent. She just bore the brunt of the anti-Mulroney rage.
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This was a rare deleted scene from idiocracy. Considered too improbable.
Mötley Crüe frontman Vince Neil will perform at President-elect Donald Trump's inauguration in Washington
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It's safe to say this is going to be the smuggest Canadian Thanksgiving of all time.
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If he were still married to a novelist, he wouldn't have used the word "complexifier."
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If you're intimidated ordering a bagel, I think New York might not be for you.
Ordering a bagel shouldn't be intimidating. We've put together a helpful FAQ
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This is fucking epic
My kind of petty: Democrat running for House seat in Arizona gets six of his Republican opponent's SIBLINGS to be in an advertisement against their brother
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@cowboypraxis
@KateAurthur
Maybe five years ago a junior editor took me aside and told me to start putting in exclamation points when I was writing to people under 30. And now I do. I was grateful for the advice.
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Honestly, guys, when a marriage gets like this you sit the kids down and tell them it's over, and you figure out how to separate with as little pain and suffering as possible.
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Margaret Atwood's name in small white type on the midriff of Kim Kardashian West is actually a pretty good articulation of what the 2010s were all about.
Who were the 2010s? This week's issue features conversations with six people who helped shape the decade, including our cover star Kim Kardashian West.
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"No one man should have all this power."
All kidding aside, I *really* doubt I had anything to do with this.
But if I somehow did, it's not going in my CV. It's going in a tattoo.
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I don't know why but I really thought the American system had enough ballast of tradition to right itself.
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@JonathanHeaf
@piersmorgan
They are very much not to be taken lightly. Men are about seventy years behind women in thinking about gender. They're dying because of it.
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The one thing that unites all Canadians: the childhood sadness of having to wear a coat over your Halloween costume.
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The way Republican leaders handle the latest Trump allegations will feature prominently in their obituaries.
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At least a third of the country believes this is what's happening.
Banner on Hannity's show tonight: "FUELED BY NEVER-ENDING HATE FOR PRESIDENT TRUMP, DEMS WEAPONIZE IMPEACHMENT PROCESS ONCE AGAIN"
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@andrewmarzoni
@bananapeele
On the other hand, the magazine he started writing for had a sixfold increase in readership, largely because of him. His editor had to buy him a boat to get him started.
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One of the most exciting projects I’ve ever worked on. Andrew and I have cowritten a political thriller about the potential collapse of American democracy. It will be the most informed political thriller ever imho.
Excited to share that
@StephenMarche
and I have collaborated on a novel “The Last Election” about an election in the not-so-distant future that changes everything. It’s a thriller and comes out September 12th! To pre-order use 30% disc. code LASTELECTION
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It's almost like people want to live in a country dominated by hope rather than fear.
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November 11 is different in the US than everywhere else. In the US, it's about the greatness of soldiers and their sacrifice. Everywhere else, it is about the immensity of suffering and the insistence that war never happen again. Historical memory matters.
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Canada is simply too small a country to permit this level of stupidity in government.
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@max_read
In all seriousness, anxiety over sexual inadequacy is overwhelming conservative politics. Non-fapping proud boys, etc.
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Genuinely curious about the conversations now happening at Trump-Kushner's synagogue.
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In Canada, we also have crowdfunding for medical procedures. We call it "taxation."
http://t.co/TRpT3GU27D
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The so-called "last Roman" was neither last nor a Roman.
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The most urgent and necessary essay about our moment in history was written in 1995 by Umberto Eco.
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This thread is much crazier than any piece of dystopian fiction ever written.
You have probably heard dozens of variations on the "litter boxes are in schools" lie.
You might have heard it from Joe Rogan, talking to Tulsi Gabbard, from his "friend's wife who works at a school."
Or maybe Lauren Boebert. Or maybe Marjorie Taylor Greene. It's everywhere.
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Of all the crazy Covid-19 response stories, to me, this is the craziest. A snapshot of a system in breakdown.
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There is now one single priority in Canadian politics: Make sure that what is happening in the United States now doesn't happen here.
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@JonathanHeaf
@piersmorgan
I hate to be this guy but my book delves into what the health consequences are for men. They are very serious.
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Trump is sending mean tweets in response to Clinton giving a speech in which she imagines him in a global crisis sending mean tweets.
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"Other than slavery."
Ari Fleischer on Fox: "Frankly, at a time where we're debating confederate statues, I don't know what the difference is between the confederacy and CHOP, other than slavery."
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I think we should start calling essays "tries." It's closer to the original meaning. It would recapture how they're supposed to be written and how they're supposed to be received. Did you read that great try the other day? Best American Tries. The New York Times trying page.
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While researching this piece on the possibility of civil war in the United States, I asked many experts on domestic terrorism whether there was a left-wing equivalent to the anti-government patriot movement, even a small one. Short answer: There isn't.
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@KBAndersen
That difference is the result of very conscious political decisions. I wrote this nearly ten years ago, and it's much worse now.
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My 4 yr old daughter, seeing a picture of Donald Trump, asks me "why is that man so afraid daddy?" "I don't know, sweetheart, I don't know."
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I mean this is literally happening is a city that is nothing but empty hotels.
Nevada, a state in one of the richest countries in the world, has painted social-distancing boxes on a concrete parking lot for the homeless to sleep in.
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I wrote about the Gaza conflict and the self-immolation of progressive politics in Canada for the
@globeandmail
.
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I will just say this: With Rob Ford, all the crazy unsubstantiated stories turned out to be true.
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@annehelen
This is a tremendous idea but I'd like to suggest a slight refinement: What do you think of putting NBA and WNBA in the same arena? Double the spectators. Double the games.
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America has a white supremacist government. There's no other way to look at it.
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How many heroes can American produce in resistance to its own government?
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My piece for
@nytimes
on Harper and the closing of the Canadian mind.
http://t.co/CWlV3IRKLc
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@sweatystartup
A proper Japanese kitchen knife. Changes your entire relationship to cooking.
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@chrislhayes
This is true and would make a great play: In Denver Max, The Unabomber, Ramzi Youseff and Timothy McVeigh were in the same wing and had their one hour daily break together. They watched the Turner Classics channel and apparently spent their daily hour talking about old movies.
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The ultimate evergreen tweet
Expect another personnel shuffle this coming week in the Trump administration
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In no dystopian fiction that I've read has there been anything so on the nose as a President teargassing a crowd to pose with a Bible in front of a church.
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Yes, that's the Prime Minister of my country with the lesbian grandmother of my province and it's no biggie.
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Why isn't there a Rockford Files starring Jon Hamm that I can watch tonight?
Seeing Jon Hamm trending reminds me, I watched Confess, Fletch this weekend and it occurred to me the perfect return to TV role for him is Jim Rockford.
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Had a fascinating chat with
@AndrewYang
about ChatGPT. He has the most realistic, best take about the political consequences of this technology that I've heard.
What impact will ChatGPT have on colleges, the workforce and democracy? Now on writer for the Atlantic and author of “The Next Civil War: Dispatches from America’s Future”
@StephenMarche
joins to talk where AI is taking us - whether we like it or not.
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@peterbakernyt
@kbennhold
I remember interviewing Richard Spencer once, and his most chilling insight into his own success was that "the myth of the Second World War is dying."
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If you need to be the father of daughter to understand that "grab em by the pussy" is wrong, you shouldn't have kids at all.
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