My boyfriend threw out the packaging for our turkey crown. The packaging with the cooking instructions on it. Because I am a generous and mature person I said “never mind, I should have said.” And HE SAID “yes you should have really”.
And that’s what happened your honour.
NEW: The organiser behind the Glasgow Willy Wonka experience which went viral across the globe has claimed his life had been 'ruined' by the event.
🗣️ 'I was devastated and I was sick to the pit of my tummy'
A woman has called in to LBC (I assume, I’m in a cab) to say she received her postal vote ballot and it didn’t mention Sunak or Starmer and was just for a local election. So basically she doesn’t understand how elections work.
Why does reporting on Oscar Pistorius always mention that his defence was that he thought Reeva Steenkamp was an intruder. He was found guilty, so it doesn’t matter. His excuse doesn’t need reporting.
My boyfriend gently asked if I had PMT last night which is, as we all know, universally a war crime.
However he was let off as I had just burst into tears because the cat doesn't even know the Bahamas exist.
'These aren't just any pieces of meat': University criminology lecturer shoplifted 33 high-value steaks from M&S and £400 of spirits from a garden centre, court hears
@FrauForelle
It's weird because you think leather would soften up and be a little tasteless biltong treat for something with a lamp and seven inch eyes.
Sorry but I don’t think it’s really fair that I’m expected to suddenly stop drinking and staying up late and be a better person with a routine and my lunch pre-prepared in the fridge because it’s disgusting and wrong.
Show me a single self-respecting woman who would like to climb into bed with a man whose children don’t see him so he spent Father’s Day prancing around his garden in transition lenses trying to set fire to a mini plastic flag.
Ncuti Gatwa's Doctor is more emotionally free than in the past.
“A Doctor of old is someone who traditionally would be more closed,” Russell T Davies says. “Then completely by chance I cast the man who couldn’t hide an emotion if he tried.”
Sorry but literally everyone in their late twenties has an existential crisis. That’s just what you do. It’s not special or mad or interesting. It’s just being in your late twenties.
everyone i know in their late 20s is having an existential crisis because we skipped our mid 20s in the pandemic. relationships fast-tracked, careers faltered, we lost those core identity-building years and now we feel like 23-year-old brains in bodies approaching 30
We are a country of infants. It’s a 27-year-old piece of children’s fiction. Once or twice is cute but why on earth are adults expecting a fake train announcement. Also stop playing quiddich and having Harry Potter weddings you absolute virgins. READ A DIFFERENT BOOK.
I love the idea that hackers are targeting random estate agents and 50 year old men. It feels like a lot of effort simply to make racist comments to 62 followers.
@SarahDuggers
This is elitist nonsense from some who, like that bloke on Question Time, doesn't realise they're the top 1%.
If only us other 99% had access to those saving, the cost of living crisis would be over.
@Mattisamazing33
@HBrubanter
Have you considered becoming a girlfriend with this level of forensic detection because I think we’d be honoured to have you
I loved her so much, everyone who knew her did. I have lost my best friend in the world - she’s the only person I know who would know exactly what to say to help. She made me an infinitely better person while I dragged her down to my level after two bottles of wine. I love her.
Agnes Mary Frimston, the love of my life, died Friday night aged just 35. We don't yet know why. She was the kindest, funniest, most beautiful and all round best person I have ever known, and she was adored by pretty much everyone who ever met her. I loved her so, so much.
I’m not even in real Europe (🇬🇧) and the coffee situation is already pissing me off.
Like why on earth can’t I find half-and-half anywhere? Dude looked at me confused and then sniggered when I asked for a “creamer.”
So you only put ordinary milk in coffee? Why? So gross.
My boyfriend has had a back op and is essentially bed-bound for a couple of weeks. I now have control over how much sugar and butter etc goes on food and it’s wonderful. He’s just described it as “like Misery”.
This is such a load of shite. Millions of perfectly happy, well-adjusted children loved Harry Potter. The mental gymnastics to get to this exceptionally weird opinion must have been incredible.