Lauren McEvatt
@LaurenMaeve
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MD of Morpeth Consulting. Former Conservative SpAd. Advisory board member @DMA_tweet
Nairobi, Kenya
Joined October 2012
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I am delighted to have been appointed to the
@EHRCWales
Committee, and I’m looking forward to getting stuck in to a fascinating area of work.
We have made two new appointments to the Wales Committee.
Find out more:
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@Samfr
As I saw someone point out last night, I guess the Ukrainian entertainment industry produces better presidents than the US one does
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My sincere congratulations to Handforth Parish Council for proving The Economist wrong today
No Zoom call can replace the “chemistry of the unexpected” that you get in person. Humans need offices
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I’m in a car in Nairobi with the radio news on, and not a word of a lie, they’ve just covered the differences between the raising of COVID restrictions in a England and the regulations still in place in the devolved regions more clearly than 75% of UK news outlets.
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@fairycakes
Our local postie has a little trolley thingy and when he delivers to our building it's left outside for an inordinately large amount of time and my neighbours and I have decided he must be having a torrid affair with someone in the building as that is the only logical explanation
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Just as a point of principle here we don’t have an electoral system where a media organisation gets to call anything, we wait for Marjorie from the council office to call it from a dais in a sports hall, and everything else is just speculation until we hear from her.
Sky News calls the West Midlands Mayoral race for Labour’s Richard Parker - and that Andy Street has been defeated.
Big upset for the Conservatives.
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It is still astonishing to me that WH Smith is still in business
BREAKING: WHSmith could axe up to 1,500 jobs as sales hit by coronavirus
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So rare to see them gathering in the wild like this. What a treat.
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Is Sadiq Khan locked in a steamer trunk somewhere? Is he dead? In a coma? How is the Mayor, who is literally in charge of this police force, so totally absent from proceedings.
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@BadSocialism
Dying to know why the second best weapon to hand in a combat zone was a champagne bottle
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@realDonaldTrump
I'm sorry, but I could never accept someone who mixes up 'our' with 'are' as our president. Go home.
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Frankly if they managed to get Downing St and the Treasury to allow them to film these little skits of them leaving with their brown boxes, then they’re still insiders.
They were insiders. Now they’re out.
Subscribe to Political Currency - the new podcast from Ed Balls and George Osborne.
First episode: Thursday 14th September.
🎧
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I know we're going to take the piss... but really he's got a truly stellar private office for organising him this well. Taking the burden out of prioritising your reading and prep requirements saves time for more reading and prep...
The Foreign Sec notes as he leaves cabinet meeting this morning has his tasks all laid out for him on his birthday !!
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Well I think I speak for *checks notes* all sides of all political arguments currently raging in the U.K. when I say: this is total bollocks
Nancy Pelosi tells
@jamesmatthewsky
she is concerned that the UK's system for testing drugs and vaccines is not "on par" with the US, "so if Boris Johnson decides he's going to approve a drug, and this President embraces that, that's a concern."
Latest:
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I wrestled for a while to work out what I was feeling about the Dominic Cummings saga and I finally solved it. 6 years after I left being a SpAd for HMG and now half a world away, I’m deeply, profoundly ashamed of my party for defending his actions, he should be fired immediately
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Lads, this is not the winning argument you think it is when it comes to Northern Ireland 😬
EU justifies
#article16
Northern Ireland "mistake" saying, "only the Pope is infallible".
#brexit
#coronavirus
#vaccine
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@NeilDotObrien
Do you think if we did that there’d be a mad rush of women looking to do this? Or do you think it would be the same number of women who arguably aren’t going to be helped at all by imprisonment. The key to avoiding late term illegal abortion attempts is liberalising early access
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None of them would get planning permission now
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WHY IS THERE A WHIP
Photo du jour: Education Secretary
@GavinWilliamson
in his office at the Dept for Education today after announcing a change in the way A-Level grades will be awarded. By Stefan Rousseau/PA
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@IanDunt
I had this conversation last night, my memory of sky was not a ‘can’t afford it’ one, it was a ‘television is ghastly anyway’ one.
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Adolph Hitler, vegetarian and aspiring artist at helm of Third Reich, dies at 56
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I dunno Nadine, does your interior decorator usually stroll by your office in the middle of the afternoon?
So, when people in an office buy a cake in the middle of the afternoon for someone else they are working in the office with and stop for ten minutes to sing happy birthday and then go back to their desks, this is now called a party?
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@christiancalgie
There’s a musical comedian I saw on Instagram who does morning assembly/school chapel songs at his concerts and everyone still knows every single word and note off by heart
Ohhhhh the rhythm of life is a powerful beat
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@kingstonwrites
In a French written exam (on a traffic accident) I could only remember "Malheureusement, J'ai renversée un pieton" from my road vocab, which I turned in to a gory description of his intestines in an ambulance, because I *did* remember my medical vocab. My teacher was unimpressed.
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Not that this is going to come as a galloping surprise to anyone who knows, or indeed has ever met me, but I spent my whole education in private school.
I know of not one single contemporary of mine who can afford to send their kids to where we went.
I don’t think Labour have properly realised the political risk of this, nor the Tories the political opportunity.
7% of the population went to private school; ~1m parents have a child at a private school. Many of them are thinking of voting Labour. This is an easy reason not to.
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The Merkel farewell tour is going to be an absolute banger, v much looking forward to her telling all the ghastly men she’s had to work with all these years exactly how ghastly she thinks their behaviour is.
“I understand your desire for disruptive politics,” Ms. Merkel said. “But I’m tired of picking up the pieces. Over and over, I have to glue together the cups you have broken so that we can then sit down and have a cup of tea together.”
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War with France on the eve of a major election? Mr Ambassador, with this you do spoil us
Downing Street has said the UK will send two offshore patrol vessels to Jersey as a precautionary measure to "monitor the situation" amid a row with France over post-Brexit fishing rights
For more on this and other news visit
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I have many questions but the first is obviously... is this Robert Latham chap single.
NEW: Keir Starmer's donations
- £100,000 Robert Latham, Camden resident & barrister who practised at Doughty Street Chambers (like KS)
- £5,000 Richard Hermer, human rights barrister
- £2,500 Iain Simpson
- £2,700 Trust Reservations (which does Lab conference)
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@NeilDotObrien
The Carla Foster case was an extraordinary set of circumstances, and shes rightly arguing that crisis pregnancies be treated with some compassion. She’s not arguing that the term limit be eliminated
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Just in case anyone thought
#dogsatpollingstations
was a recent phenomenon, going through Granny’s photo album recently we discovered Billy, A Very Good And Patriotic Boy, out on the campaign trail on polling day in Northumberland in 1906
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Exclusive 🚨: Nick Mason, the chief data officer of the Conservative Party, is being investigated by the Gambling Commission over allegations he placed dozens of bets in the run up to the election being announced
Read the full story in tomorrow’s Sunday Times
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God the electorate in this country just consistently deliver the maddest shit, genuinely love that about us
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I love absolutely everything about this
Norway's Minister of Transport holds remote ribbon cutting for undersea tunnel in Stavanger 💻🎀✂️
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@yngvlgrn
@duncanrobinson
(It was a story my father told me, that an US businessman had proposed a breakfast meeting with one of his french colleagues who had been so horrified by the proposal that his immediate response was ‘why don’t you come over one half hour earlier and we can shower together too’
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@SarahDuggers
And this is why leader debates are bad imo, these guys stand in their own constituencies we don’t elect presidents here
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That’s my excuse and I’m sticking to it
A man who said he never drank alcohol but often appeared drunk actually had a rare condition called auto-brewery syndrome, in which his gut began producing alcohol whenever he ate carbohydrates, a new case study says.
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We could just stop, you know. We could just decide not to keep embarrassing ourselves when we clearly can’t do this anymore. Either we’re out of money, or the people who used to be good at this have gone, or we’ve got a madman in the digital department, but we could just stop.
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@liamsims
For Northern Ireland visits there’s a completely different security protocol, he’s not surrounded like this in London. But also he was with the NI secretary who also gets security of his own at all times so this isn’t one detail, it’s actually two
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@OzKaterji
Tetbury butchers once advertised having rabbits in with a big watership down poster and a sign that said ‘you’ve seen the film, you’ve read the book, now eat the cast’. God tier advertising.
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This quote from today’s great
@ShippersUnbound
round up of the PM’s first year is just absolutely glorious
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Last year my father was rushed to Tommies in an ambulance. These c*nts were blocking the bridge then and it took a lot longer to get there because of them, not an option now as Vauxhall bridge is shut. This should be a criminal offence punishable with healthcare community service
BREAKING: Extinction Rebellion protest blocking NHS ambulance.
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@NeilDotObrien
Is she? I don’t see her arguing in favour of removing entirely the time limit?
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@prinxeMu
At one of those ‘development milestone’ check ups I arranged all the Noah’s ark animals in a circle, and when I was asked why I’d done that I looked at the nurse like she was an idiot and said ‘they’re. Having. A. Meeting.’
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... now can we talk about more funding for women’s sexual health r&d
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lol we couldn’t run a tombola right now but we’ve got the 14D chess capabilities to do this? Have you met us?!
‼️Wow. Tory party sinks to new depths by secretly installing a load of paper candidates to stand for
@reformparty_uk
then getting them to cry “racism” and “bigotry” at the last minute. WE SEE YOU. 💥
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God bless this country and all who sail in her, I have faith and hope for the next generation after all, now ground them all
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I’ll take ‘jobs I wouldn’t take if you paid me the entire contents of the international gold vault in the bank of England’ please
🚨 Job of the week in today's
@timesredbox
🚨
"Deputy Head of Civil Contingencies Winter 2020"
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@youngvulgarian
Don’t take this from us, being sarcastic wankers who hate enthusiasm and cheeriness is all we have left
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I am at the airport for my first flight in over a year. The CAA are doing a survey, one of the questions is ‘is HMG travel advice clear’. I asked the questioner if anyone said yes, and she said ‘most people laugh. Then they say no’.
Everything’s going swimmingly then.
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LADS! WE’RE ON TELLY!
Fox News saying this is the first time anything like this has happened since the British burned down the Capitol in 1814. Nice to get a mention I guess.
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Reject the Americanisation of British politics and object to the use of the phrase ‘mid terms’ in relation to local elections
This is tonight 6pm UK time, sign up for the spiciest of hot takes and pre-match analysis — you couldn't ask for a more specialised league of experts to give their view of the field across the nation's elections.
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@youngvulgarian
I think it was one of my father’s French colleagues at CA who said this, but I remember a story about an American businessman inviting a French businessman to a breakfast meeting, to which the response was ‘why don’t you come one half hour earlier and we can shower together too’
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@Aamito_lagum
Looking forward to them blasting the plane cabins and train carriages of Paris with that bug spray stuff they use as a ‘WHO policy’ on the flights that leave this continent.
Oh wait.
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This really raises more questions than it answers
Lover spurned by Tory peer drew a three foot penis on his floor in pig's blood with the caption 'Big d**k Lord'
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Wonder why everyone’s concerned that we might look silly in opposition
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Sweet Mary mother of God are Amazon in trouble 😬
@_chrisjones_
Thank you for that information. We apologize but upon reviewing your location you're in Northern Ireland. Rugby Autumn Nations Cup coverage is exclusively available to Prime members based in the UK. We don't have the rights to other territories. ^RS
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@christiancalgie
Whenever things like this pop up my immediate response is to presume that She absolutely loathed it and told them to knock it off
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@p_m_davies
Remind him that using his logic of revisionist history, Donetsk is Welsh and we want it back
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This is such balls, I did an HMG visit to the European Space Agency and if Freeman had ever done the same he’d know this was codswallop
Science Minister George Freeman said: “This genuinely is a historic moment for Britain.
“We’ve won the space race in Europe.”
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@oldenoughtosay
Does he reach a point where he asks them why it has four wheels not two? You could in theory have a lot of fun with this particular brand of misogyny
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Well by my calculation I make that *checks notes* approximately 2 years to work out how to build these electric vehicles without strip mining huge swathes of Africa for precious metals, which would herald an unmitigated ecological disaster. Get a wriggle on chaps.
the big Johnson green speech is now happening next week:
- a ban on the sale of new petrol and diesel cars from 2030 (but 2035 for hybrids)
- more support for nuclear, carbon capture & storage, hydrogen, wind power, insulation etc
via
@FT
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@OmondiPastor
@SkyNews
Hi
@KayBurley
it’s disappointing that you’re using a correspondent in Joburg to comment on the ongoing security situation in Nairobi, when there are so many fantastic journalists in Nairobi who
@SkyNews
could hire for this. You may as well cut to a journo in Dubai, or Cairo.
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I confess, I’ve done a 180 on voice notes overnight, because this morning one of my best friends sent me one to tell me that he’s met someone and fallen in love and it’s honestly one of the loveliest things I’ve ever been sent.
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@thehistoryguy
@TomBlenkinsop
Actually I’d argue the opposite. They were affluent to begin with and could afford to go in to politics. Raise the salary and the bright sparks who can’t afford to leave their city jobs or the law offices might decide to have a punt.
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@AndrewBeatty
@seanspicer
In his defence he did give SNL *a lot* more material to work with than Jen has. Still some of
@melissamccarthy
's finest work.
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@ItsOmondi
@bonifacemwangi
@SkyNews
It really is, not only to Kenya and Kenyans, but also to the intelligence of their viewers too.
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In the end we will, if you believe this, be judged for our humanity by a higher power, but we will all also certainly be judged by those we leave behind. This kind of inhumanity will rightly have Robert Jenrick judged as an inhumane, unfeeling tosser.
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@matlock
@RachaelKrishna
@caitlinmoran
@robynlaaarv
God this was a real highlight not going to lie. No I don’t have children WHAT OF IT
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My thoughts are with the lobby correspondents at this difficult time
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@lingerie_addict
@MikelleStreet
*broke people and people who come out in hives because of 99% of all washing powders and 100% of all dryer sheets
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Christ on a bike, Labour really is rotten to it’s very core if this is who they’re fielding for a seat in Parliament.
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The Gallipoli inquiry (The Dardanelles Commission) started in 1916 when the war’s outcome was far from over and didn’t report until 2019. It’s not a distraction, it’s a crucial part of governing. Also, Winston politically survived the Dardanelles commission, which pounded him.
NEW: PM reaffirms commitment to covid probe but says inquiry will come when it wont distract the officials currently fighting the pandemic...
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This is such a load of balls.
@carriesymonds
was always a consummate professional all the years we worked together.
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@ProfTimBale
Jesus what happened to having a nice fete? Everyone loves a fete. There’s cake. No one bleeds profusely.
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‘Sunak is letting legitimate lines of inquiry determine a large and seemingly growing group of people who should never have been within a country mile of running the country’ -there fixed it for you
Tory source: “Sunak is letting Tories get decimated on his watch by the blob.
“Raab, Suella, now Boris again - when is this crap going to stop? It's time for Sunak to grow some balls”
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The crap thrown at
@carriesymonds
has been truly awful. She’s very good at what she does, is a respected SW1 operator and is soon to be starting a v imp job in a field she loves. She’s also a wonderful friend. Those are the important facts about her.
#everydaysexism
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Sincerely, f*ck you. The U.K. has contributed hundreds of millions to COVAX and is leading efforts to raise even more for this. We’re meeting our global commitments.
WHO urges Britain to pause Covid jabs after treating vulnerable
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A female MP who lasted all of about 20 minutes in the House told me I should "tone down the upper class" and develop an estuary accent if I wanted to get on in politics. I've outlasted her in British politics by about 8 years now, and I still sound like the Queen most of the time
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As someone working in politics with weapons grade ADHD this excuse makes me angrier than you can possibly imagine. ADHD is absolutely no excuse for not caring about your work product enough to run a spellcheck.
@afneil
Andrew if all you can do is criticise the grammar, then it actually says more about the looking down the nose class snobbery of sections of the media like yourself. I have ADHD and miss things, get over it!
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Some people do understand gilts and bonds, they work in the city, and they’re moving the markets based on low confidence in the government. Now, Joe Bloggs might not understand too much about gilts and bonds, but based on decisions made by those who do, his mortgage has gone up.
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Oh honestly what a pretentious tosser
Here's his resignation letter:
"I would be grateful if you would convey my resignation as Secretary of State for Business, Energy and Industrial Strategy to the King."
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But they have the court. If the Senate results are confirmed, every appointable Dem justice over the age of like 85 should immediately retire and be replaced with a 35-40 year old triathloning Dem. Suck it up, don’t be selfish, and secure the courts for the next two generations
In just four years, Donald Trump cost the Republican Party the House, the Senate, and the presidency.
Well done, sir!
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Is there some particularly vindictive tree that keeps coming second in the tree of the year award?
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Can’t believe you people want to abolish these absolute comedy gold chaos merchants
Sell-by dates ‘far too cautious’, says peer who found 20-year-old biscuit 'perfectly edible'
@UKHouseofLords
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I got drunk in a park with my friends tonight just like I normally would and frankly it’s the best I’ve felt in months, man alive I hope this whole shebang is over soon.
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@Altimor
When my father was working for the French an American asked one of the team for a breakfast meeting, and he scowled and said ‘why not come one half hour earlier and we can shower together also’.
There was no breakfast meeting suggested again.
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I see the NHS trade discourse is back, so once again I’m just going to leave this piece from
@NuffieldTrust
here because it’s the best thing that’s been written on this.
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@KirstieMAllsopp
Also they’re appalling for allergy sufferers and I wish to god hotels would stop pumping their lobbies full of the stuff, I go to check in and by the time I get to the desk I look like I’m weeping
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Leave Fiona alone she was probably having a lovely time
Fiona the sheep has been rescued after being cut off from the world for two years.
What's the first bit of news since 2021 that you would tell her?
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