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Van

@hellothisisivan

Followers
5,429
Following
1,562
Media
16,894
Statuses
109,040

Seaside-dwelling old queen

Joined January 2011
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This account is now going to be devoted purely to silly jokes, ramblings about old films, TV shows, books & ephemera, updates on me performing & pictures of Fred. Nothing serious, nothing political.
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Headed into the office for my first day back since I broke my wrist. I get on the tube & look down… 😬
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This just looks like a provincial gay excited to be in London though
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@jamesrbuk
James Ball
2 months
Bizarre picture selection from the BBC for the news that Huw Edwards has been charged with making indecent images of children – makes it look uncomfortably like he’s presenting the news himself.
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For a horrible moment I thought he was in his pants
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It’s fun to look at pictures of Isabella Blow and pretend Theresa May’s decided she just doesn’t give a fuck any more
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This is too hard, I’ve only spotted the Queen
@TheRoyalistsUK
The Royalists
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15 Prime Ministers. 1 Queen.
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High summer and the Fabricants are in bloom
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I just don't see how it would be possible for a book cover to be worse than this
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Shit joke from my stand up act I was almost embarrassed to say but always got tons of laughs "I'm so unfamiliar with the gym that I should really call it the James"
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Disgusted by this poster on a local bus stop. This is BRITAIN and the word is ARSE.
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“Best killing of an alpaca I’ve ever seen, 5 stars”
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I regret to say the Celebs Acting Like Bellends Reddit has now been discovered by Americans who start their long-winded & underwhelming stories with "OK strap in"
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@AlixEHarrow When I was little my dad explained evolution to me by talking about“When we used to be monkeys”. Inthought he meant our family SPECIFICALLY & I was really confused why there were pictures of me as a human baby
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Why do we need a Foreign Secretary anyway? Let's have a proper British one.
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Just been reminded of one of the greatest moments in Twitter history
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IT DOESN’T MAKE SENSE
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Still laughing at the “Why don’t these MISERABLE British BASTARDS like my American positivity THE CUNTS” woman
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I wonder if there’s a single copy of this that didn’t go to a charity shop
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So glad to see a happy ending for Ted and Ralph
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Good to see Gollum’s turned his life around and got a job at the pound shop
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Why did anyone bother designing book covers after 1971? Surely they knew they'd never top this?
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It’s about time someone started calling out these cowards
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I think Netflix should also clarify that Margaret Thatcher did not in fact spend the 90s investigating paranormal phenomena for the FBI
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The only British actor to appear in a film directed by Ingmar Bergman is Benidorm star Sheila Reid
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@PopBase
Pop Base
1 month
Name your favorite celebrity fact.
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THE BEST CROWN COURT JURORS: A THREAD part 1
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A Radio 4 comedy judging by the expressions
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John Le Mesurier was even more Sgt Wilson in real life than he was on screen (thanks @archivetvmus71 )
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What idiot decided to call them the Jihadi Beatles and not Jihadiwaddy?
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"Disappointing that Alice Cooper, a man who used a woman's name and wore makeup, doesn't think that using a woman's name and wearing makeup makes you a woman" is an interesting one, isn't it?
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So weird that William Hartnell as Dr Who is remembered as a grumpy figure, rather than, as he actually was, a jolly character who keeps saying “Hee-hoo-hoo-hoo!” to practically everything
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Imagine if the Queen got a boyfriend now though
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What she does with her copy of the Radio Times is her own business
@Variety
Variety
6 years
Anne Hathaway circles #SesameStreet movie
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The rest of Liz Truss’s life will be spent as the political equivalent of an actor who makes loads from appearing at fan conventions having appeared in a Star Wars film for two minutes
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You know, I’ve got ever such a little bit more respect for Liz Truss rushing to help Kate McCann when she fainted than I have for people on Twitter making shitty jokes about it.
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The constant going on about his dad’s job has been funny, yes, but there are some v revealing responses to this from people who don’t believe he could’ve been working class because he turned up to his son’s graduation looking fairly smart
@Keir_Starmer
Keir Starmer
4 months
Today, on Father's Day, I’m thinking about my dad, the things I learned about him after he was gone, and the father I am to my children, because of him. Happy Father’s Day.
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Far right library burner & Just Stop Oiler as cellmates sitcom
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OH MY GOD THEY’RE MOBILISING JOAN COLLINS
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I’m sorry WHO?
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Let’s face it, if Boy George had done this to a woman there is absolutely no way it would have been ignored like it has. He would be universally reviled.
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My other half’s just sent me this from TK Maxx, where Gentleman’s Relish is being sold in the men’s grooming section
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Football is icumen home, loude sing cuckoo
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She was married to Terry.
@dunemovie
DUNE
3 years
Explain Dune in one sentence.
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It’s a message from that foul feathered felon the Penguin! What avian atrocities could he be planning now?
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As with J K Rowling, people of course have every right to disagree with Suzanne Moore,it’s just that very few seem to disagree with things she’s actually said.
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I guarantee you those twats outside J K Rowling's house have done more harm to the trans community than she ever could.
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Well if any of them are still alive I think there might have been something in the accusation
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Last of the Summer Heroin
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Bit drastic
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Billy Bragg & other straight white men who wade in to tell women off for having opinions on their rights are such a load of shit. Your rights have never been in question so piss off out of it.
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Fair play to Johann Hari for managing to get a career again after being discredited as a plagiarist then writing a book about people’s short attention spans
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@DavidJesudason @BrokenBiros Surely this is just exactly what you want from Danny Dyer
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Owen Jones’ tactic of showing he’s not a misogynist by angrily ranting about women is going down brilliantly I see
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Finally the origin story of the first ever Dr Who character
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The history book on the shelf is always repeating itself
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I’ve nothing against Phoebe Waller-Bridge but I do struggle to see what it was about Fleabag that made Hollywood execs go “We need this woman for Bond, Star Wars and Indiana Jones NOW”
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Still thinking about these blokes in Crossroads, who are supposed to be ‘Oriental businessmen”
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It’s a beautiful sunny morning and you’re not one of these people. What more could you want out of life?
@screencrushnews
ScreenCrush
5 years
A fan petition to get the final season of #GameOfThrones remade is approaching 25,000 signatures:
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“Soho isn’t a playground” - what a thoroughly depressing sentence. If anywhere in Britain should be a playground it’s Soho.
@JoelTaylorhack
Joel Taylor
6 months
What people forget is this is a residential street The noise & crowds were intolerable & not well controlled Soho isn’t a playground
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Blokes who aren’t 100% butch are less straight. Weird how today’s progressive attitudes sound a lot like the old stereotypes innit
@Variety
Variety
5 months
#DoctorWho showrunner and writer Russell T Davies says his Doctors "weren’t exactly the straightest men in the past." "You’re talking about someone who does have a lightness and a joy about him that, to me, chimes with queer energy."
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I've never seen this glorious pic of Pipkins' Hartley Hare and his performer Nigel Plaskitt before so I'm sharing it because I think it needs to be seen
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Would you like a selection of my fave Crown Court jury reaction shots? Well here you are anyway
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Dunno if straight people can get how exhausting the LGBTetc thing can be. You don't sign up to it,it's just a box you're thrown into because you're not straight. Then you're expected to follow all its rules or be some kind of disappointment to a community you never asked to join.
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It’s one of the least shocking things I’ve heard
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A full list of homosexuals available in 1958.
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I think at some point, like all the rest of us, you’re going to have to accept that most people you come into contact with in your life are just trying to get on with their own lives and really don’t care that much about you.
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Are they, Ben? ARE THEY?
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Nearly all the pictures you'll see in tribute to Paul Darrow will be of him as Avon, which is absolutely right and proper as Darrow's performance made him one of the best TV characters there's ever been. But just by way of contrast, here he is with Jessica the dachsund.
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It seems entirely appropriate that Aretha Franklin’s final act was to upstage Madonna.
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Matthew Corbett’s 76 today. What an absolute, complete, utter hero
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Patrick Macnee: greatest role model for men. Brought up by lesbians who treated him as a girl, became the archetype of the English gentleman. Enthusiastically hetero but always respectful of &deferential to women. Was upbraiding co-star Ian Hendry for homophobia back in the 60s
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@stclairashley
Ashley St. Clair
1 year
Who is the best modern role model men have for masculinity right now?
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“This is a motel, not a disco bar!”
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Took a lot to summon the nerve, but I went to my first AA meeting today (May Day seemed an appropriate time to seek help). Bit overwhelmed really.
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Surely even if you’re on Just Stop Oil’s side you have to concede “They can’t go to these important family occasions” is a terrible line to take when surely their whole point was that other people’s family occasions were less important than their cause.
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How gay am I? Well I’d say I’m a
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@hellothisisivan
Van
10 months
RIP 70s icon Brigit Forsyth x
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Watching the first episode of Inspector Morse. John Thaw is 44 here, the age I turn this year 💀
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If a Polish chef attacking a terrorist with a whale horn can’t unite our country I don’t know what can.
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WHY is Mrs Warboys in One Foot in the Grave one of the greatest ever TV characters? I just don’t know but she IS
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Thank you Blackpool Tower for a no doubt all too brief return to the golden age of tweeting
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Frankly Owen Jones should get an OBE for his sterling work in squashing the pernicious stereotype that gays are fun
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A notable omission in that depiction of the Cerne Abbas giant 🤔🍆
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Drop England too. Far too controversial. Just be known as Of.
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I think this is the greatest delivery of a line I’ve ever heard
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Sorry straight white men, Doctor Who was never made for you
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Met someone who only likes one Kate Bush song. Wow. Just Wow.
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@tomhfh @OldRoberts953 Are all women expected to live authentically? Is every woman at peril of having their womanhood revoked at any moment due to insufficient authenticity?
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How old was Michael Sheard when he was in Pyramids of Mars? THIRTY-SIX
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“A Catholic cathedral, you say?” “And him married three times”
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@peta You MONSTERS
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The Guardian managing to get EVERYONE turning on them over that Judith Butler interview for one reason or another is jolly good fun.
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Patrick Troughton would’ve been 104 today if he hadn’t died getting his end away with a nubile Dr Who fan
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@hellothisisivan
Van
10 months
Watching BFI DVD of films made by the National Coal Board. Sounds incredibly boring, right? But it has THIS on it
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I like a shower gel variety that sounds like an exclamation from a flustered Southern Belle.
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@Fred_Delicious I actually have the t-shirt of that
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