Stephanie Insley Hershinow
@S_Insley_H
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Quite good: cook, reader, procrastinator. Decent: mom, writer, teacher. Terribly bad: athlete, winker, cat trainer. RTs are jokes I wish I'd made first.
the 6th borough
Joined January 2012
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Pinned Tweet
Sometimes you’re in a museum gift shop in Bath and get annoyed that a book doesn’t exist and then you decide, “screw it, I’ll write it myself.”
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Listening to a dad in this coffee shop explain to a ~4yo that Darth Vader was “a man with a lot of big feelings who didn’t have anyone to help him express them the right way.”
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Love the thing where Outlook deletes emails about meetings if I rsvp to them. Very helpful. Zero chance I'll need to look at that email again to see the agenda, find the Zoom link, etc. A million stars.
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My students are writing Austen adaptations (in the broadest possible sense), and one is writing in the form of Reddit "Am I the Asshole?" posts, and I'm just beside myself with joy.
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Dr. Biden looking awfully calm for someone with four syllabi to finalize this week.
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Hahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
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5yo: What’s Romeo and Juliet?
Me: Well, it’s a story about two people who fell in love, and…
[2 parents, both English professors, one a Shakespearean, give a long and age-inappropriate synopsis]
5yo: Wow.
Me: Yeah. It’s sad.
5yo: Yeah. I can’t believe they FELL in LAVA!
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5yo; “Mommy, I think when I grow up, I might change my name to a grownup name because my name is a little kid’s name. Maybe I’ll use my middle name. My name is such a baby name! I want a grown up name when I’m a grown up.”
Reader, his name is HARVEY.
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Your daily Be Mad at an Anonymous Stranger.
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Little Women (1868)
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Showing the kids Honey I Shrunk the Kids and having to explain which inventions are zany Rick Moranis originals (shrink ray) and which were normal household objects (phone attached to the wall).
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See! Eureka!
@S_Insley_H
You can change this, I think: Settings -> Mail -> Calendar -> Automatic Processing -> Invitations -- there's an option that says "Delete meeting requests and notifications from Inbox after responding" which you can uncheck
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I have an 18mo and haven’t had an idea, let alone a great one.
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Not everyone knows this, but Taylor Swift also wrote another book, under a pseudonym. It’s called Born Yesterday: Inexperience and the Early Realist Novel, and you can buy it here:
Swifties made a random, unpublished book a bestseller after convincing themselves Taylor wrote it
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This is, once again, me complaining about a Microsoft thing so that some kind soul tells me how to disable it.
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Someone else is doing an episode of 90 Day Fiancé.
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I will never leave Twitter. Twitter will have to leave me first.
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Everyone who keeps replying that it’s all in the calendar:
1) I know.
2) That’s not where I want it!
3) No one likes being on committees with you.
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@mrose1965
That’s cool. I’ll never forget when I was young helping my aunt find the WIC symbol because she was only allowed to buy certain kinds of cereal for her kid. Definitely way better to make sure poor people only buy what you think they should buy.
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Felt a little nervous going into my first mammogram, but luckily there was an inspirational message on the wall to help me put things into perspective.
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It’s actually helpful to confirm that some people think this is how this works.
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I have to mute or my Twitter would be unusable, but you guys seem nice. (Except “didn’t happen” guy. I assure you it did! There was a Vader figurine in the shop and the little girl asked who it was.)
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Ok, Lady Catherine de Bourgh!
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FUN FACT: When this shark dies, the long eighteenth century will be over.
Based on samples taken from the lens of its eye this year, this shark was alive in 1672.
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A little reader response in the 1st grade homework tonight.
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@cgoldstead
I’m asking for permission and we’ll have a little gallery on the course blog. Hoping she’ll agree!
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Ok, everyone. One way to get back at this anonymous stranger is to buy my book for 40% off with code HOU. That’ll show him!
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Strange to have good news in bad times, but I wanted to let you know Gilda Doris Hershinow is here.
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The secret quote tweet is praising me for giving him such a great name.
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NO PERFORMING HAMLET
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Ah, yes, Jane Austen’s classic novel, “Ask Your Doctor about Zymbalta.”
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I had a call with my chair yesterday (who is very understanding) and HOH just screamed (supervised) from downstairs literally the entire time. But it felt appropriate to give an accurate impression of my life.
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👏👏👏👏👏
@S_Insley_H
Two toddlers, both alike in disarray
In fair playroom where we set our scene
Endeavor on the furniture to stay —
Not sizzle on the sisal, thought unclean.
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Everyone’s really nice, so I’m muting them before anyone’s mean to me. 😂
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Have learned that my fully potty trained 3yo has been telling her teacher every day that she’s had an accident so that she can change out of her uniform and into her (non-uniform) backup clothes. She’s outsmarted us all. She’s a little velociraptor.
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@AlixEHarrow
3yo knows he likes fresh orange juice but doesn't particularly like...the other kind. Which he's decided is "salt orange juice" (because the opposite of fresh water is salt water).
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Still mad that Faith Hill says “this kiss” is “subliminal” when she clearly means “sublime.”
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In case this does big numbers after I go to bed: consider funding the open projects at my local elementary school on this matching donation day!
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Everyone has been sweet, but I’m muting this for functionality. Take your kids to the theater! Even if they’ll be disappointed by the lack of lava.
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@Tweetsnwhatnot
@amykaycannon
We were visiting family in another time zone and the kids were up way before dawn. We went on a walk to keep them from waking everyone, and my 4yo still talks about that “night walk” like it was the most magical thing he’s done.
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Opened a browser I don't use and got sucked into a time warp.
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Me keeping my files from grad school “just in case.”
Photos released showing boxes with classified information at Trump's home
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3yo: “I got a good idea.”
Me: “Yeah? What is it?”
3yo: “Vampire State Building.”
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Ok, time to mute this thread so my twitter’s usable. Keep hating Outlook, stop telling me the info’s in my calendar, and buy my book. 😂
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Did Mr. Collins write this?
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Have to mute this thread or my twitter will be unusable, but respond separately or DM if you want to talk pedagogy! I'll share results next week from students who give permission.
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Well, it’s finally happened: I’ve been asked to move my class to an epistolary format.
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So…Percy?
Kit Harington to play the monster in new Mary Shelley biopic
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Have recently been reminded of the ridiculousness of my baby.
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*scene from class*
Me: Susan Sontag…
[advances slide to image of Sontag]
Me:…was fuckin cool.
Students, collectively: Wow.
One student: Oh my god.
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3yo has decided to leave money under her pillow in order to coax the tooth fairy into leaving her some teeth. “What to Expect” did not cover this.
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WHETHER OR NOT YOU THINK IT’S RIGHT TO LEAVE WATER IN THE DESERT
Jurors in Arizona deadlock, resulting in a mistrial for the Good Samaritan who tried to save migrant lives and was charged with a felony Whether or not you think it's right to leave water for migrants in the desert, imprisoning such people is outrageous.
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Pro tip: when you’re reviewing a book (or manuscript) actually review *that book* and not whatever imaginary books exist in your head.
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@profchander
My thought too. Burning down my house would work, but I’m still not sure it would take from 9-12.
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HOLY SHIIIIIIIT I went to elementary school with this dude!!!
🚨 This is Jason Knauf. He submitted the bullying complaints against Meghan Markle. He also passed her private letter (to her dad) to the tabloids; and as William and Kate's "special advisor," he has now been promoted CEO to William and Kate's charity.
h/t
@Ducky8abug
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If, like me, you suffer from the "clear the decks" fallacy (if I can just get all of this other stuff done, then I can get the important thing done), this is just your reminder that it is a fallacy. Prioritize the important thing. The other stuff will get done. Well, most of it.
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Flipped through that Hygge book and love how it’s like:
Why are the Danes so happy?
T̶h̶e̶ ̶r̶o̶b̶u̶s̶t̶ ̶w̶e̶l̶f̶a̶r̶e̶ ̶s̶t̶a̶t̶e̶.̶ ̶
Candles!
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Greta Gerwig Northanger Abbey adaptation when?
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@andizeisler
Yes, same! And that’s so cool your kid has the same name. I don’t meet too many little Harveys.
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@PhDhurtBrain
Ok, sure, but I prefer to focus on the way that there’s something special and almost imperceptible about my personality that allows me and only me to transcend the expectations of my class.
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Me: *has expertise in my area of study, relevant publications, and years of teaching experience*
Me, 10pm the night before the first day of class: “What if I show them this weird silent film I’ve never seen before? Lol”
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It has come to my attention that some of you are very worried about plagiarism with the move to online teaching, and I want to give some advice based on my experience:
...
...
...
...
GET A HOLD OF YOURSELF! ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?
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Oh no! The code is “HOLI”! Just lost a thousand sales. 😭
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*legal disclosure* By favoriting this tweet, you're agreeing to buy my book (paperback out this summer!):
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BREAKING: I stole a lot of jewels in a heist, but please do not worry. I will now sell them.
BREAKING: Sen. Kelly Loeffler will liquidate individual stock shares after coronavirus trade furor
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@JackLynch000
Of course not! Problem is he’s asked to see the play, and he’s in for a world of disappointment.
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The “why is everyone baking?” thing seems very obvious to me. It’s about feeling like you’ve accomplished literally anything.
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Worker at this lunch place isn’t wearing a mask but won’t touch my punch card. My preschooler’s class isn’t allowed to use the playground. They’re still “deep cleaning” my campus. We really got screwed up by the surfaces myth early on. It won’t go away.
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About suffering they were never wrong,
The old Masters: how well they understood
Its human position: how it takes place
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Imagine telling women to wash their hair when Zizek exists.
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At this point, Zoom should figure out how to have everyone in a meeting show up in the same order on everyone’s screen so that you can “go around the room” without awkward chaos.
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Got lazy 😂
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On my last teaching day of a rough semester, it is buoying to get the news that I received the Baruch Presidential Excellence Award for Distinguished Teaching. Grateful to my anonymous nominators, and frankly a little weepy to feel that care for students is recognized.
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6yo: What other cumbers are there?
Me: ???
6yo: Do they have all the cumbers? Which cumbers are there?
Me: I don’t…
6yo, exasperated: There’s the Q-cumber. Is there R? M? Which letters have cumbers?
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“According to a source familiar with Knauf, he was always kind of a little fucker.”
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Haha remember when TSA took my baby’s milk?
Gun rights activists carrying semi-automatic firearms walk through the Capitol Building on January 31, 2020 in Frankfort, Kentucky. 📷:
@woolstonphoto
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You: Your decorative gourd is rotting.
Me: Welcome to my Yayoi Kusama installation.
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Happy linen sack season to all middle-aged academic women who celebrate.
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@Swilua
Sure, like they were going to hide all the drugs from ME, the D.A.R.E. essay contest winner??
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@e_j_barnes
I lost my phone during the brief window of downtime before my talk during Fancy U campus visit. Frantic, I ended up with all of the office staff and several eminent faculty members crawling around the dept looking for my phone.
Reader: it was in my pocket.
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I’m shopping for kids’ room curtains and it looks like one of the designers recently quit smoking.
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@pahsyram
I think you’re right. But I hope it grows on him! I love it. Even if we did name him just before the hurricane and Weinstein summer.
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