RandomSprint🧭
@RandomSprint
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Big Dad Energy, check the highlights for more
Joined October 2021
My 6 yo daughter called me to her room after she was scared by some noises. "Dad, why aren't monsters real?". "Well, do you think a tiger is a monster?". "No.". I tried a few more real animals. "It sounds like you only think something is a monster if it isn't real.". I then.
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I taught my kids three jokes. They started "making their own" and sharing them with everyone. The next day, my son asked me, "What does it mean if someone says, 'I don't get it?'".
3yo has started telling us jokes. they're terrible.
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The best one is a two-parter. "Why did the chicken cross the road?". Why?. "To get to the silly person's house.". Oh, okay. "Knock knock!". Who's there?. "The chicken!".
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My 4 yo son, walking into my office, "Are you still working?". "Yeah, bud.". "How many more buttons do you have to press?".
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Apparently, it's my job to train the summer interns. There are four college students and what is clearly our 58 year old CEO with dye to hide his hair color. What should I do?.
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In my 20s: I would never lie to my kids. They will be strong enough to see the world as it is. In my 30s: That's called Paw Patrol. They only have it at the barber. You can watch it again the next time you get a haircut.
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I wonder how much of every, "Ozempic also fixes X!" finding is just "Not being overweight also fixes X!" with an extra step.
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Your kid is going to kindergarten? Make sure you install the class schedule app, the report card app, the district ISD app, the bus schedule app, and school lunch app. The school app doesn't allow you buy lunch. That actually comes from the district ISD app, which has MFA. Now in.
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"What about wishing for less wishes?". "Fewer." Spoke the genie. "Yes. Can I wish for fewer wishes?". "I suppose. How many fewer?". "Negative two?" I asked, hesitantly. The genie rolled his eyes. "That's another way of asking for more wishes, which, again, you can't do.". "What.
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"This isn't dogma, just my thought: I like to think of hell as being empty. I hope it is. I hope the demons are all here, where we can hunt them."
#PopeFrancis: "This isn't dogma, just my thought: I like to think of hell as being empty. I hope it is."
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@thechosenberg I don't get it. Why doesn't the brit just open carry, record the conversation, and see what happens.
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Korean email etiquette is endearing. Suffer a lot. The end.
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A disproportionate share of terrorists are engineers. I remember reading this in 2010 and updating from "being smart leads to better beliefs" to "there are traps only smart people can fall for.". I am often reminded of this fact.
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How do men cheat on their wives? If I were excited about a new mistress, I'd want to tell my wife about her.
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Dude is typing with two fingers. Thinking about saying, "my patience is limited, unlike my authority.".
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That's a fake black friday sale. I have a spreadsheet that tracked the price of some items over the past few months.
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Okay, time for a one-on-one. Time to talk about my humble background and dreams for my children. Wish me luck.
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I genuinely don't get this point at all. Why do people feel this way?.
This is infinitely more corrosive to the human spirit than NYC lol
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This video on recycling old turbine blades into concrete has a funny twist at the end. Are they doing all this work to make something valuable? That people will pay for? Perhaps as aggregate for concrete? How low is the bar they claim they have cleared? Watch and find out.
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It's really fun how dumb young men are. In undergrad, I was on an all-boy dorm floor. In theory, the "honors" college, but we were all dumb as rocks. One day, my roommate bought a taser, and everyone hanging out in our room was taking turns getting tased. "Want a turn, RS?".
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I have an elementary school friend who is now a professor. He sends me this meme every two years, and I laugh every time.
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My kids just started a "why" chain on power lines. I launched into a 20-minute lecture on the uses of electricity, the nature of energy, power generation methods, etc. I have never filibustered a why chain so successfully before. I want to chase this feeling.
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You're on a date with this woman but you step into the bathroom and accidentally fall into the mirror universe where all chiralities are reversed. You can still breath, but your metabolism will be unable to digest most nutrients. You have limited time. What do you do?
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During our covid sanity walks, I told my 2/3 yo daughter that we couldn't go on other people's lawns because they were "someone else's property.". She heard this a few times and eventually asked me, "is the world made of property?".
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@Whiskeypunk1 Good comic. I wish they had cut the dialog, though. The chart title is enough.
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@slurplebrained "This episode of Undercover Boss was brought to you by Zyrtec. That's Zurr-Tech.".
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In my late 20s, my cholesterol spiked from healthy to elevated, and my doctor recommended statins. I decided it was probably the protein bars I was eating and swapped them out. Two months later, I walked into a diagnostic lab and asked for a cholesterol test. The nurse laughed.
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@samswoora The father is the CEO. The son is the relationship manager. The holy spirit is the api call.
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Some of you should tell education software entrepreneurs about your idea to make a single app that covers all needs. That thought has probably never occurred to them!.
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@__tzs Just playtested these. What's the difference between an elephant and a can of beans?. "The elephant is bigger," with finality. Well, yes. The frog was a banger.
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@powerbottomdad1 Yeah. They should all be wearing pads and taking a break between plays to strategize.
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If you live near a campus, you have the potential to do the funniest thing.
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And the rocket's red glare,.The burn bursting in air,.Gave proof through the lens.That the flap was still there.
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"Hey, sous vide instructions, how do cook this meat?". "Precisely 138F. 137 and you'll get infected and die. 139 and it'll taste terrible, you'll get depressed, and you'll use Canadian Healthcare.". "Oh, umm, thanks. How long?". "Idk, man. Whatever. 10-36 hours.".
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This is not a permitted form of protest, and society should not tolerate it.
I can't imagine wanting to go to work at @citi this badly. Get a coffee dude. Listen to the scientists. #summerofheat
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Can men can get the ick? What's a time you have?. A girl lost me by sounding excited to receive her parents' inheritance one day. Ungrateful, ghoulish behavior.
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In my culture, it's very disrespectful to mention the Incident.
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Never ask a man his salary, a woman her age, or a thirty year old who "doesn't have time for kids" what they have built with their precious free time.
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This thread changed my mind. Apparently, much/most of the H1B program is laughable. I'd be curious to see the strongest examples of H1B visas.
The average H1B visa holder is a “computer systems engineer” at Cognizant making less than 100k. I’m sorry, this is not “top tier talent we can’t compete without”. At best, this is replacing jobs for unemployed US citizens graduating fresh from CS programs. At worst, outsourcing
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Reusable rockets are nice, but space travel was an expensive hobby until that dude swallowed a pill that gave him infinite gravel. Turns out he could specify the gravel's position and velocity. Gravel ejection drives powered our ships. Gravel constructed our megastructures.
which would you rather have.
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Listen up, Cadets. Do not eat or drink anything in the holodeck. The material is a projection, and this remains true after digestion. You do not want to be made of something a machine can stop creating. I've seen redshirts collapse in dehydration after drinking water. The
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In college, one of my roommates switched from ChemE to education. He cushioned the change with frequent rants on how ChemE's were all greedy. Hearing about his classes was horrifying. He didn't learn how to teach. He was taught how evil educational inequality is. I asked him,.
Anti-homeschooling folks often have expectations of school teacher qualifications that are just wildly out of touch with reality
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We're seeing some real detective work from people trying to determine if this is real. I appreciate their service.
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Another funny thing about this video: Cleaner than coal says so little. Less toxins? Less heavy metals? Less CO2? Per unit burned? Per unit of energy recovered?. Lots of ways to define it. All we're told is "they say it's cleaner.".
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The young secretly believe aging is a moral failure.
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Things I wish people knew about inflation:. 1. Inflation is bad, but deflation is worse. You'll accept cheaper steel, but you won't accept a lower nominal wage. Therefore, deflation makes wages "too high," which leads to unemployment.
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POV: You're a married man who wants the best phone and doesn't care about impressing 20-year-old girls.
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My most unpopular opinion is that serving on a jury is a civic duty, and you should take it seriously rather than weaseling out of it.
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An energy drink commercial was the closest thing this country had to a manned space program for a while. The world is better today.
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As much as I'd love to punch down on a plucky environmental upstart barely scraping by on federal handouts, this is actually a publicly traded company with a $20B+ capitalization enjoying federal handouts on the side.
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Hi, my name is RandomSprint. I'm a professional spreadsheet jockey. A few more things about me: I hate spreadsheets and can only use them when I'm drunk
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The AI absorbed the rulebook for 46 picoseconds. "I don't understand. Why is this popular? The game starts in a position where white will always win.". "That's. News to us. We thought perfect play led to a draw.". "No, watch," said the AI. "1.e4 e5 2.Ke2. ".
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@DeepDishEnjoyer Most telling part of this is "We're going to call your parents! Oh, God. They called our bluff.".
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@goycomrade Sounds like they have a division of labor that makes them both happy. I'm sure he enjoys chilling in the rink. It's all good, man.
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@thecaptain_nemo I didn't major in cs because I thought that meant configuring printers at a local law firm. No one told me they would be inventing God from first principles.
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In part, being socialized means being polite when other people don't take their beliefs seriously. Society is full of polite fictions we don't truly adhere to. Extremists are people who take the wrong class of belief seriously.
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Everybody be cool. A Beff Jezos parody account is now in the Neighborhood.
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I'm coding a physics simulation but making some simplifications. Do you think our ancestors would notice if I made the speed of light constant? Would it seem weird?. Thanks for the feedback.
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@CartoonsHateHer Everyone needs to stop worrying about iPad kids and start worrying about iPhone non-parents.
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Thinking about writing a sci-fi story where aliens are really good at fire. Their planet is filled with magical liquids that release heat when burned. They generate electricity by boiling water. Transportation via thousands of controlled explosions. Etc. Is this believable?.
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@ClimateDefiance Serious question. Are you hired to make environmentalists look bad? Preventing people from going to work and using roads makes you the bad guy, and I think everyone knows it.
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@eshear Personally, I stopped visiting reddit regularly after I found out how much fun Twitter is, and I stopped going altogether after their api changes broke my favorite third party app. When I use it now, it is with reluctance.
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Peter Thiel, seeking technological growth, donated to the Machine Intelligence Research Institute. "You missed," said Yud, as he used the salary to write Harry Potter fan fiction. "Did I?" asked Thiel as the Rationalist movement inspired the future employees of OpenAI.
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I'm not an engineer, but I'm on the engineering spectrum. As a child, I remember reasoning that "I should study Revelations and take it seriously." My Mom happened to notice and warned me off that path. My life would have been different if she had responded in the opposite way.
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When I was young, my parents told me to sacrifice my 20s to set up my career. A Gen-Z new hire should be thinking about how to double their salary, not burning goodwill to get an exercise class reimbursed. I'm comforted from knowing this is clearly a work of fiction.
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A man once taught me a new game. In exchange, he requested a single grain of rice placed on a chessboard square. Each day, the next square was filled with twice as many grains. I owed trillions of grains of rice. Explain to me again why student loan debt shouldn't be cancelled.
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No one needs an air fryer. It's just a convection oven. By the same logic, no one with an oven needs a toaster oven. Also, I don't own a dryer. I just bake my clothes in the oven. Cold outside? Furnaces are for chumps. Crank up your oven and open the door.
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Lmao
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@MikePFrank They're not burning it to recycle it. They're recycling it into something (someone else can burn). Huge difference!.
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Three yo son is in shambles. He's looking at pictures from my wedding. His mom is the "beautifulest," and he's in tears he'll have to marry someone else.
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My most zoomer belief is that sex scenes are usually unnecessary. Flirting and seduction are narratively interesting. The actual act should usually be skipped. Brandon Sanderson has the correct approach.
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Learning about recycling taught me a lot about human nature. In the late 2010s, I learned that aluminum recycling was efficient but everything else was mostly a waste of time, money, and energy. I told people, and they said, "How dare you, RS! Do you want the planet to die?".
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The twist in Fight Club is that Brad Pitt's character isn't real. He's imagined by Edward Norton's character. But there's a second twist. Edward Norton's character is a figment of Chuck Palahniuk's imagination. They all are. None of it is real. Really makes you think.
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