Thank you to all my friends,Crew and cast on Still Game -and to you folks,for all yer kindness and staying power over these 40 years.Apart from the one-
“Mate yer shows pure shite”....
it’s been an absolute pleasure.
Take it away Winston.
X
This is an excerpt of a documentary I’ve made about Easterhouse in Glasgow. Netflix are interested. And someone else.
It’s 2 minutes long. I filmed it and do the voiceover. Go me.
Half way through doing my decking with “indoor use only” stain.
I Was half way through before I bothered reading the tin
I’m a peace with it now. Although I was quite sweary earlier. Couple of C’s...few B’s handful of Arseholes.
Happy days.
One is a professional stunt man...the other was rescued from the school wall bars several times in primary 7 due to fear of heights....and is also regularly sick down himself at Alton Towers.
Talking to my neighbour this morning as we both cleared snow and ice from our windscreens
He had a scraper with built in furry glove. Probably a heated one
I had my boys plastic ruler from his pencil case.
NO SPOILERS ON LAST EP....but my favourite bit is when Jon snow, the dragon queen and granddad are trying to take a chandelier down....turns out it’s the wrong one they are unscrewing😁😁....I’ll let you watch what happens. Classic stuff
Still Game live @ the hydro.....just wanted to take a minute to thank everyone sent flowers and cards, cakes and dildos for my opening night..... My dressing room table doesn’t know what has hit it. 🥰
Got out the car in Glasgow city centre to take a picture last night -10pm
-No humans-and it’s amazing how quickly nature takes over.
Nearly knocked doon a zebra outside the greggs in st Vincent street.
Everyone I leave a shop I take off my mask and let it dangle on my ear. I feel like a surgeon emerging from a long difficult surgery.
Said to a stranger outside greggs yesterday..
“He’s comfortable at the moment ...let’s see what next 24hr brings”
Know when you are in London and you are Glaswegian. You are in a shop and ask someone a question.They look at you like you’ve threatened to murder them and everyone they love.
Throw a mask in tae the mix? Ooooft.
#muffledweegie
#imnotsayingitagain
Disgusted to hear of Phil Schofield skipping the queue to see Queens coffin-He did the same to me at T in the park 2003. Even though i told him i was full of piss- he charges into the cubicle shouting.
"I am Schofield and i am having a wank"
Really terrible behaviour.
After 4,000 cans of whiskas ( all varieties in Jelly) and 10 years together....I’m sad to report my own cat still hates me. Look at they eyes..
“Better not put this on social media ya specky cock” she’s sayin...🥺
No idea what this Ad is telling me....is it a tissue for tears or for having a chug?
I’m thinking of playing it safe by getting a sheet of kitchen roll.
That’ll do both with room to spare.
Thank you to Lorna @ The Picture Framer in Shawlands Glasgow. She put the remains of the old man behind glass. Sorry it took me two years to pick it up.
I’ve let it slide for years...but see this..
“I’ll ping you over the email shortly”
Or
“Could you ping me over a quick email”
Stop trying to make it sound more exciting than it is.
You can email me. And I’ll email you.
Enough with the ping patter.
If you’re coming to my house for Halloween. Read on.
Update on swedger availability .
Mini crunchies(I’ve done nearly a full bag)
Mini smarties( see above bracket)
Maltesers( not looking great)
Chomps(7 left)
Prawn cocktail crisps ( hunners)
Apples(never got any)
Anyone working in my house MUST wear a mask.
Whether you are a plumber replacing a tap...
Or one of the crew cooking meth in my conservatory.
No exceptions.
19 hours it takes for the rocket To reach the space station.
I would be averaging 3 panic attacks an hour if I was on board.
Tasting my own tears. Ma big helmet all fogged up.
Screaming in my head and sometimes out loud-
“Help me!! I need a pish”
We're raising a glass, with a tear in our eyes - it's last orders for
#StillGame
!
Craiglang’s finest are together again today to prepare for the ninth series in what promises to be a must-see finale.
@FordKiernan1
@greghemphill96
In Still Game this evening we are forced to lose a much loved character, as the actress was caught stealing from the canteen whilst drunk then twice punched an elderly extra for no reason-this has led to the BBC’s decision.I Hope you get the help you need.
Take care. X
That us in the big hoose.....
@TheSSEHydro
There’s Dolly P-that naughty superstar- staring right In tae my dressing room....
“Close your eyes ya talented beauty” I sometimes say or shout.
She never does.
Morning after awards ceremonies when really famous folk tweet- “like to thank everyone at Armani/Hugo Boss for supplying my suit last night”
I am reattaching the labels on mine, try to wipe off any stains,then take it back to TK Maxx.
In England, I know the Tories can no longer afford to give poor kids a free school meal(sad face)-but seeing the big Prince stepping out of his Range Rover and heading into the private hospital to see his 3rd child today?Made me forget those hungry brats.
#ilovefeedingtheroyals
.
Margaret Ann Gola and I dated for years at secondary school.
And Some nights- after dry riding in the graveyard/ Asda
- she would shouty whisper in ma ear.....
“See When ma grampa is deed and I take over this company-I will pure give you yer own shoe”
Well...Bless you mags x
@SPerryPeoplemag
Amazing. Well done her. After having a baby too? She’s ALREADY out and about??
Never seen the like.
Such energy and “out and aboutness”
She’ll be snorting coke off Michael Goves tiny wee arse at this rate.
Totally captured on a return visit to the petrol station today..
“This thief has a name” i screamed as I was taken away in cuffs / waited for my latte.
Hi just wanted to let everyone know I’m stepping away from Facebook and Twitter for a while. If you need to get a hold of me ? Please message me on Facebook or twitter as I have just this second changed my mind about the leaving bit.
Look who came into ma work the day
@govindajeggy
. Guy was class. He was doing all the lines for everybody. Stevie in accounts had a panic attack he was laughing that hard. Cheers Sanjeev.
Had my account pumped last night.
£1,200 to Canada Goose.
£32.55 to Deliveroo
They will all be sitting in their puffa jaikets eating kebabs and wedges.
Merry Christmas ya filthy animals.