If you need to set a boundary with someone, but don't know how, ask them if you can get sick from playing around with dead birds. They will leave you alone after that.
Yesterday I found myself face to face with someone who was pretty terrible to me thirty years ago, and I’m happy to report that I’ve aged slightly better than her. I’m taking the win.
I got an Instagram message request asking who the fuck I am, because I keep liking and commenting on a guy’s pictures. And I got to tell her, “Lady, that’s my little brother.” No response back yet.
There is nothing more embarrassing than being with someone who talks condescendingly to waitstaff. As soon as it happens, I start making my plan to exit the friendship.
As soon as you hear the boss saying things like, “We’re a family,” or “We’re all in this together,” start working on your résumé. I don’t know much, but I do know that.
Today I was seated next to lovely, glowing, first-time pregnant woman, who looked me in the face and told me her child will be a mellow introvert. I let her have the moment.
I wasn’t invited to the wedding due to not being close enough friends (no problem), but now they will be “really upset” if I can’t make it to the baby shower. Mmmmkay.
I turn 40 this week and I just realized I’ve spent my whole life trying to make everyone happy and get love and maybe it’s finally time to STOP THAT POINTLESS BULLSHIT and put myself first, what a concept.
Today is my birthday and I think protocol is to share a happy pic from the past year and then go enjoy my day. I like this one because it was my first race in a long time and I was so tired but happy. Thanks to my Twitter friends that keep me laughing.