Böb Jänke: Hönkÿ
@Bob_Janke
Followers
39,616
Following
9,699
Media
8,454
Statuses
171,574
Chicago At war with Merv Griffin Productions and the IOC I write this for fun I know who DB Cooper is.
Joined December 2010
Don't wanna be here?
Send us removal request.
Explore trending content on Musk Viewer
#MyLoveMixUpTHep9
• 482862 Tweets
É OURO
• 402545 Tweets
バニーの日
• 383142 Tweets
BIA SOUZA
• 226296 Tweets
#พรชีวันEP3
• 147042 Tweets
Kyle
• 137581 Tweets
Hugo
• 135428 Tweets
Beatriz Souza
• 124172 Tweets
#MisteryosoCOJJJ
• 117699 Tweets
JHOANNA NGITING MISTERYOSO
• 94223 Tweets
Teddy Riner
• 71791 Tweets
サッカー
• 70510 Tweets
スペイン
• 56360 Tweets
オフサイド
• 50396 Tweets
Parabéns Bia
• 40075 Tweets
Bárbara
• 36397 Tweets
BEAUTIFUL PLAWAN
• 36089 Tweets
#ساعه_استجابه
• 33105 Tweets
Gallagher
• 31034 Tweets
Morocco
• 28596 Tweets
バドミントン
• 26605 Tweets
Ron Paul
• 25267 Tweets
ジュリオ
• 22411 Tweets
異界入り
• 17173 Tweets
トイストーリー
• 14092 Tweets
シュート
• 11645 Tweets
ワタガシペア
• 10971 Tweets
Googled Tony Hawk to see what everyone was talking about but accidentally typed Tiny Hawk...
475
27K
224K
JESUS CHRIST THEY EXPLODE NOW?!
Exploding wild pig population on western Canadian prairie threatens to invade northern US state
143
60
326
318
4K
36K
A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says why the long face and he says it's so when I'm eating prairie grasses I can see predators
59
5K
10K
If you shout 1-2 - 1234 before your song starts the mother better rock
35
1K
5K
If I lived near a volcano I'd just throw my garbage in there
71
486
5K
Please stop adding noises to your songs that sound like maybe something is wrong with my car.
66
3K
5K
I was watching you while you slept. You look pretty stupid.
109
3K
4K
All the doorways in the Death Star have this lip. Who designed this place
463
226
4K
I really like your LED headlights can I look at them with my hammer
41
672
4K
Helena Bonham Carter eats eight spiders a day. Not in her sleep, just whenever.
35
2K
3K
Pringles cans should be perforated every few inches so as you eat them down you can just tear off the empty part
77
205
3K
Here's a mama pig, a baby pig, and their frog friend going on an adventure
70
442
3K
Scientology has given Tom Cruise the power to slowly absorb Dennis Quaid
66
182
3K
Make no mistake, if i thought i could make $100,000 a month on OnlyFans, I'd be sticking so many things up my butt you'd think I was a Pez dispenser
78
439
3K
I was wearing a jean jacket yesterday and a little kid asked me why I made a jacket out of pants and I had no good answer for him
18
1K
2K
Outlet cover enters its 17th year of me meaning to put it on that outlet
171
124
2K
A fun prank would be to loosen the top on a salt shaker and when your friend tries to put salt on his food, hit him in the face with a stool
47
1K
2K
Anyone that replies "Who was Eddie Van Halen" gets "Super Fucking Blocked". Try me
90
217
2K
My dad was 100% German so when I asked how Santa visited everyone in the world in just one night the only answer I ever got was "brutal efficiency"
26
578
2K
@arneduncan
Congratulations this is the dumbest thing I've ever read on Twitter. And that's really saying something
12
52
2K
Twitter is like handing the dumbest person you know a bullhorn
79
588
2K
Barbra Streisand asked about Jeffrey Dahmer: "Maybe he was just hungry sometimes"
34
389
1K
When someone says "40 years ago" I think they mean the 1950s, not the 1980s
42
324
2K
An 8 year old just asked me why people in electric cars don't get electrocuted when it rains and now we're checking Google
20
1K
1K
Want to feel old someone born in 1985 will turn 61 this year
459
240
1K
Motley Crue today looks like some of your dad's friends decided to be Motley Crue for Halloween
70
381
1K
I GOT MY STATE TAX REFUND GET DRESSED BABY WE'RE GOING TO WHITE CASTLE
20
117
1K
Most people don't know this, but that little pocket on your jeans is for a Fig Newton
166
156
1K
I'm always on his side but Bugs Bunny brings a lot of these problems on himself
45
227
1K
Every time a car pulls up I secretly hope they're here to kill me but otherwise things are going okay.
7
714
1K
There was no Internet when I was a kid. If you wanted to talk to a pervert, you had to go find one.
25
476
1K
You're not socially awkward you're just fucking weird.
10
714
1K
Cocaine was such a problem during the 80s that Phil Collins was one of the decades biggest rock stars
34
294
1K
Once again I'd like to remind everyone that when you take something out of a 400 degree oven, that thing is also 400 degrees.
53
256
1K
please send me your prayers I'm not sick or anything I'm going to use them for witchcraft
24
447
1K
During cold weather months, alligators will fall into hibernation with their snouts sticking through the ice to get fresh oxygen. It's at this point you can draw dicks on them.
42
381
1K
Fun experiment: Go into any store and ask for "the big stupid looking guy" see who they bring you
25
411
1K
My friend called pizza "zza" so I threw him off the roof you gotta nip that shit in the bud
43
250
1K
I've been watching this Fast and Furious marathon for only 20 minutes and I've already forgotten how to read
17
450
1K
This button is on my oven's control panel and I'm afraid to touch it
22
397
1K
A blonde wig someone found in a WalMart parking lot won the Westminster Dog Show
45
173
1K
People that tailgate me don't realize how little I have to lose.
17
605
1K
old people with oxygen tanks are sneaking away to live in an underwater utopia
18
619
983
Simon Cowell looks like he saw your girlfriend naked once and he does this whenever he sees you so you don't forget
55
183
1K
finally the one christmas present i'll use over and over again
29
267
1K
Kylie Jenner gets $1,000,000 per Instagram post. This is your world. You did this, not me.
22
215
983
Why does every 4 way stop have to turn into an IQ test
15
592
963
Leonardo DiCaprio has a 20 year old girlfriend. I wouldn't even know where you'd meet a 20 year old girl. Claire's?
68
224
967
Bad Religion now looks like the Earth Sciences department at a Montessori school
35
248
956
I really hope my obituary contains the phrase "hail of bullets"
34
537
948
The Secret Service was chasing me but I painted a tunnel on the side of a wall and they all ran into it
41
222
1K
Wouldn't it have been just as easy to post the actual hours. You people are really pissing me off
37
159
974
OJ Simpson died. They said it was cancer but they're hoping an autopsy will find the real killer
15
113
995
I would love to be a UFO researcher but I really don't want a pony tail
27
195
935
sorry I did all those wheelies in front of your girlfriend
13
496
878
Cat's in the Cradle should be in the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame as the worst song ever recorded in the history of music
304
58
935
For someone that can't afford a ticket i sure do drive like an idiot
10
108
933
I just realized I can type :90 instead of 1:30 into my microwave timer and I feel like I just discovered uranium in my backyard
16
380
867
Got a hot date tonight so I washed my car and put a brand new garbage bag over the broken passenger window
48
265
845
I swear to god I have no idea how some of you idiots make it home alive every day
42
216
876
Me: I'm going to try that Cheeto diet
Them: Don't you mean Keto?
Me: NOPE
18
299
847
I was paying $200 a month for cable so I cancelled it and signed up for a bunch of streaming services and now I pay $206
43
145
874
If you send me game requests on Facebook I'll visit an adult bookstore and tag you as being with me.
17
337
825
The IRS just called me so I wired $5000 to their office in Pakistan just like they said so I hope that solves everything
21
233
802
Man, people born in 1985 either have zero sense of humor or theyre super sensitive about turning 61 this year
85
113
861
I need a lung transplant. My current lungs are fine I just want four.
17
289
800
1940s Loose lips sink ships
50s I Like Ike
60s Make love not war
70s Give a hoot don't pollute
80s Say no to drugs
90s I don't even know
00s Idiots
10s For the love of God please don't eat the soap
13
316
783
Navy SEALS have to be able to run 3 miles in like 16 minutes and I can't even hold up the coffee pot while it fills with water.
11
436
768
why would anyone buy a cane that didn't have a sword in it
21
388
775
I think the best part about eating right and exercising every day is how you get fatter anyway
25
131
832
Week 17 being a Pocket Knife Guy: Haven't needed to use a pocket knife yet
67
165
794
Iran 1979: DEATH TO AMERICA
Iran 1986: DEATH TO AMERICA
Iran 1994: DEATH TO AMERICA
Iran 1999: DEATH TO AMERICA
Iran 2005: DEATH TO AMERICA
Iran 2019: DEATH TO AMERICA
Twitter 2020: Oh my God it's WWIII
37
183
748
I don't understand why a vacuum this good waits until 3am to have a commercial
15
256
769
the best part of getting older is the way your body slowly decomposes while you're still living
18
268
763
My friend was sleeping with my wife. I mean I HAVE to but what the fuck is his problem?
7
362
733
If your girlfriend is named after a luxury car you're going to have massive problems
68
212
724