Mike Ward
@MikeWard2911
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@cdaly72
Can you put me down for one, three weeks on Thursday, arriving 12.30pm, two other guests, need it for two hours please 😁
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@susie_dent
Or Confullicity, the pleasure in seeing others stuffed with the Christmas Dinner you have prepared fir them 😁
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@RoyalCentral
Bit disappointed with that bit of the ceremony, expected him to be snapping it over his knee not just disconnecting a pre-made joint 🤣
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@VeteranIrish
There was a fella from Leeds
Who swallowed a packet of seeds
In less than an hour
His arse was in flower
And his bollocks were covered in weeds....
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@RAF_Luton
The gas can be supplimented by pilots who eat curry before flying, this is the Fast Acting Radioactive Turds System which links pilot's seat to the engines.
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@pipkin1969
@RAF_Luton
Ah yes, The ERNIE scheme, Easily Recovered Nuclear Intermediate Explosives 👍👍
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Back home from Whitby and raising a glass to all at
@BelperTownFC
, to the directors, management/coaching team, the players, volunteers and especially all the loyal supporters who have stuck with it this season. Met some great folk, had some laughs. Thanks everyone 💛🖤
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@RAF_Luton
This replaced the NIMROD (Nose Impressively Massive Runs On Doughnuts) which is the only confectionery fueled aircraft created by the boffins at LARPA.
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Time to raise a glass to the end of another season with
@BelperTownFC
.
Travelled up and down the A1 and M1 numerous times, got a loyalty card for Wetherby services 😂.
Thanks to the directors, management and coaching team, players and volunteers for an enjoyable season
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@RAF_Luton
Pilots also ask the troops to anchor the ropes to the ground so they can lift it when soldiers require the high ground to attack from
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@1RyanPugh
@BelperTownFC
Hats off to Shepshed players/officials for coming back out to clap him off, great show from them 👏
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Another "Proud Dad" moment today, our Em has accepted an apprenticeship offer as a Laboratory Technician at Nottingham Trent University 😁😁
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@estern_w
@DavidWo20846504
@Woop__Woop
Very polite description, I'd go for full scale cockwombling twat.
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@RAF_Luton
The protruding bit between cockpit and nose allows the Jaguar to go into "tin opener" mode should it run out of ammo, the combination of nose and sticky up bit can go through armour plating like a hot knife through butter.
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@bigstape
@RAF_Luton
Don't be silly, Mitsubishis have four wheels and stay on the ground unless in World Rally Car spec when they've been known to jump occasionally.
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@virtuallysoph
I am about 5 miles from my work base but as I regularly start at 5.00-5 30am there ain't many buses running. Public transport great if you live and work on the routes and do "standard" hours.
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@RAF_Luton
Little known fact, the original tow cable was a bungy cord but this was abandoned as the towed plane kept overtaking the towing plane.
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@Squidgybrain
@flaminhaystacks
We always made sure the girls were walked home, anyone who had had a drop to much was poured through their front door, nobody was ever just left to fend for themselves (1980s)
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@themetskipper
Great work, decked immediately and unceremoniously carted out, hope he wasn't accidentally dropped once outside or accidentally knocked against the odd wall/doorframe/other hard surfaces.
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That's us sorted for next season, Up the Nailers 💛🖤
ps, Have
@BelperTownFC
ever thought of doing a family ticket now I've converted a third member if the household to non-league football 😉
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@RAF_Luton
Candidates for this programme get recompensed in accordance with the National Army Payment Package of Youngsters system.
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@VeteranIrish
Guy comes across a Welsh farmer with a sheep between his legs
"Morning, are you shearing?"
"No way boyo, get your own sheep"
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@crochetjenny
The woman filming was worried he might come to harm 🤦♂️
Put your phone away and let the police sort things out, if the guy hadn't been scrapping the dog wouldn't have been used.
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@RAF_Luton
The Snapped Ruler formation was in danger of being abandoned following the introduction of super flexible "unbreakable" plastic rulers. Fortunately Fl Lt Ben D Straitedge managed to permanently deform one so the pilots had a template to work from.
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Having a "small" whisky in memory of Dad, 4 years ago today 🥃
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@SeanLaPrawn
How can pointing out great behaviour by two kids trigger the race issue??? There are some very odd folk out there 🤦♂️
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@N0TINSERVICE
New copper was asked by his sergeant "What would you do if sent to arrest your Mum?"
Cop replied "Call for backup" 🤣🤣
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@VeteranIrish
Welsh driving instructor "Can you make a U Turn"
Pupil "Not sure but I can make her eyes water"
😉🤣
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Happy 18th birthday to my lovely daughter Emily (aka "Our Em" aka "Spud"😁) Great that she loves watching
@BelperTownFC
with me although after enduring the gale force winds at Yaxley yesterday I wonder about our sanity 🤣
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@DrMGP1978
@RevRichardColes
I will never be able to hear that carol without singing "f*** of and die" 🙄
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@virtuallysoph
And I realise I could cycle but you end up a sweaty mess in summer or soaked if it rains.
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@N0TINSERVICE
5 and I don't care who blocks me 🤣 A good vet could get 1 back up and running!!
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@CopMoustache
"A mioaw's like a yawn with noise" This comment must win Twitter for the year 🤣🤣🤣
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@RAF_Luton
The rhino used its big ears to protect the driver's legs from incoming baddies bullets and has been known to increase the range of the SA80 rounds by blowing them along with the long swing thing on its face.
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Extra hour in bed????? Just up earlier than usual🤦♂️
Morning all 😁
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@BelperTownFC
Spirit, guts, determination, fight, all shown in abundance along with some good passages of possession and passing when we had the ball.
Nerve-wracking to watch at times but great to be part of.
Up the Nailers 💛🖤
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@BelperTownFC
The future's bright under
@leeatts90
and
@MattWain2
. Get a squad together over closed season and go for it. Up the Nailers 💛🖤
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@juliek1712
@parkinsbrea
The one we didn't own (She has now moved house so we don't see her anymore)
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@SgtMajFrench
Chain of command Sgt Maj, obviously Mrs French and French Jnr out-rank you and expect you to follow orders 😉
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@RAF_Luton
Little known fact, the colourful boxes on HMS Biggerboat can be arranged in various patterns to convey massages to other vessels of the fleet. This was required as the signals officer lost his semaphore flags waving at a Canberra.
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@bad_barry01
@militariaFlickr
@RAF_Luton
Did Abraham have a tank when Joseph got his technicolour dream coat?
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@RAF_Luton
Is it true the LARPA boffins shaped it like a boomerang so it always returned to where to took off from?
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@RAF_Luton
Are the big wigs thinking of implementing Hot Outside So Every Person Is Probably Extremely Sweaty plan and allow the F15 to water bomb selected areas?
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@Rich_Cooke1
Jeez, the guy was extremely aggressive, the copper was on his tod, who cares what he said to the offender, just get him under control by whatever method required.
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@ResponsePS
When my kids were going up to senior school the headmaster addressed prospective parents and said "We have a uniform policy, we have rules, feel free to choose another school if you aren't prepared to adhere to them"
Simple isn't it? 😬
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@RAF_Luton
Little known fact, when the Eurovision Typhoons leave base the ground crew tie a yellow ribbon round the old oak tree.
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@BelperTownFC
It's all part the experience, follow the team, make friends, mop the floors, sweep the paths 😉
Great atmosphere down there today, everyone mucking in doing what they could.
Up the Nailers 💛🖤
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@RAF_Luton
I hope no underhand tactics have been used such as soaking HMS Warboat in vinegar before the bout.
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@N0TINSERVICE
Do you find yourself ducking in the driver's seat? I do it every time at a car park barrier that I know full well the van goes under 🙄🤣🤣
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@NatashaMDay
If I or one of my family/friends are in a position where an ambulance is required I don't care how it's painted or what colour, creed or sex the crew are, how they identify or who/ what they're attracted to, just get here and save us 👍
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Premier League players moaning about the new added time rules....simple answer stop wasting time, stopping rolling around like you've been shot, stop arguing virtually every decision.
Just get on with what you're paid for, playing football.
Simple isn't it?😉
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@Bryn_kin
@RAF_Luton
The mating ritual differed in as much as the Spitfire waggled the wings in a seductive manner 👍
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@karenfthompson
The whole idea of breakfast in a hotel is as many items as possible regardless of whether you double/treble up on anything. A rasher of bacon gets lonely without a couple more to keep it company and one sausage is neither use nor ornament. 🤣🤣
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Another year older, probably not any wiser 😉
Sending love and thanks to everyone who has been part of my 57 laps round the sun so far, family, friends, workmates, you'll know who you are 👍
Here's to the next one and plenty more after it 😁
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@DerbysPolice
Did those army lads in Plymouth get lost and dispose of their bomb in the Derwent rather than the sea 😉
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@N0TINSERVICE
In best David Attenborough voice
"When threatened the dump truck will roll on its back and play dead in tge hope any predator will leave it alone."
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@JamesAHogg2
The fact they could get big stars to join them speaks volumes about just how good they were 😁
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@BigBearF1
If it moves and it shouldn't use Duct tape
If it doesn't move and it should use WD40.
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@BelperTownFC
@A_Peterson9
will step up and bang a few in for Nailers, cracking finish for the consolation goal on Saturday ⚽️⚽️
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@CarlBovisNature
Gannet snapped from the Yorkshire Belle sailing from Bridlington, not bad for a phone camera and a crap photographer 😉
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Well done our Em, passed 1st time. Dad's taxi is officially closed 🤣
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@tomwilson227
@BelperTownFC
Get Todd in the photo and you have the best 4,5,6 group on the league 👍👍
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@CopMoustache
@HantsRajKohli
Born in Huddersfield, all he'll be used to is rain and general grimness 😉
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