Brianna Parkins
@parkinsbrea
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Writes @irishtimes Talks @todayfm @newstalk @rte Aussie broadcast journalist working in Ireland. Agent: Faith/Lisa Richards Agency Dms open.
Dublin City, Ireland
Joined October 2013
I’ve made the front page of the Wall Street Journal and I’ve remembered to bring my Dunnes voucher to do the big shop so it’s been an all-round day of financial success.
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What made this morning’s trip to the bathroom interesting is that I don’t actually own a cat.
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Here I am tweeting away carefully researched journalism, facts and packages for years and all along what you actually would all like is just photos of cats in a bath. Fair enough.
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My parents bought a 3 bed house in the 80s in Sydney on a factory worker and shop assistant's wage. They don't understand how I went to uni but can't buy a house and genuinely suspect it's due to my Deliveroo account.
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There were people yelling “go back to where you came from” tonight but as I walked down Fleet Street there was also an Irish man ushering a woman with a headscarf along saying “I don’t want you to walk alone, I don’t want to you to be a target.” He had just met her.
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Women are being murdered. Men are asking them to be less aggressive when they talk about it.
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To be an Irish country town you must have:.- more pharmacies than people .- 3 craft shops .- a shoe shop that only people aged 40+ shop at .- one ‘good’ pub.- one ‘dodgy’pub.- hair salon with pun name “curl up and dye”.- boutique selling rich mum scarves.
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"just sending you a voice note because it's quicker" . QUICKER FOR WHO? NOT ME THAT'S WHO.
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For those of you dm’ing to see if it’s your missing cat, I’m sorry but this cat has returned to her owner. But I hope yours will be back soon after a short adventure in a strangers bath.
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This is now an everyday thing. Turns out she comes in the window to the lick the water after we shower - she’s just thirsty. Anyway she has her own water bowl in our house now
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Equal pay, probably.
'Is there anything more empowering for women than the Rose of Tralee?'
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Housemate just asked me “do you want some of them small pasta bastards with shite in them.” Ravioli. She means ravioli. #justirishthings.
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My partner who was at actual the GAA game yesterday, came home and rewatched it again last night. Then got up early to rewatch it again today. I can’t tell if this is normal Galwegian behaviour or if mine is broken?.
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Touched down back in Ireland feeling a bit out of sorts having to leave my family in grief. Then the fella at immigration made me laugh, the taxi driver made me smile and our local cafe refused to let us pay for coffees. It’s the people of this place that bring me back.
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Irish men heading abroad for the next ten years need to thank #NormalPeople for turning GAA jerseys and silver chains into a full blown fetish.
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Is there a better feeling as a childless Aunty than buying tin whistles for your siblings’ kids as payback for childhood trauma?.
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I am about to pay €650 for a crucial mental health service that I would have got for free in Australia. The suggestion that @Rubberbandits is the big issue with the way we deal with mental health in the country is absurd.
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My best friend made me a jar of irish insults for my birthday.
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What is the Irish word for for having to wear big coats, scarves and thermals because it’s cold outside but then being flustered and bulky trying to use the self serve at Dunnes where the heating is up to high.
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Sending post to England: 14 Marmite Avenue, Avon-upon-Trent-upon-Sage-Rosemary-and-Thyme, Little Enid Blytonipple, Goodmorrow, Worchestershire Saucington. Sending post to Ireland: Yer man who used to do line dancing in 1994, the road with the big tree on it, Cork.
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Hi @Qantas I’m trying to fly home to Sydney urgently to my five year old nephews funeral. I’ve been on hold for nearly 2.5 hours when the operator hung up. Is there something else you can do please? I’ve already contacted by DM. I can’t make changes though the booking.
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If someone offering property/deposit saving advice starts with "when I bought my house 20 years ago" you are allowed (by law) to stop listening.
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Two years ago two Rose of Tralee entrants skipped the scheduled mass to watch Father Ted in bed. The Mayo Rose told the Sydney Rose she would take her to the house. Don’t tell me dreams don’t come true.
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I am convinced the Celtic Tiger was peak cringe. I’m a cringe lover and this is my Renaissance. Send me your favourite photo call/photoshoots that have aged like milk from this era.
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Things I still haven’t gotten over moving to Ireland from a secular country:.- There’s a call to prayer on the public broadcaster. - Children say prayers at state schools and are taught a religious sacrament during school hours. - Mass is broadcast again on public funded telly.
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Explaining how Reddit users made shite out of a hedge fund part one
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My boyfriend: I’m going to blend in when we get to Australia. I’m not like other Irish boys. Also my boyfriend:
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Me realising that before I was Rose of Tralee I was an investigative journalist living in Sydney and now I’m living in Ireland with a big culchie who owns road frontage. This is how they get ya
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Big fight in the house. Me: You can’t call a dolphin “missing.” He lives in the ocean. He just went another part of the ocean. What did you want him to do send a postcard?. Kerry Housmate: I am very upset and can’t talk about it yet.
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“Batshit crazy nonsense” - official Australian police stance on anti-mask/5g protests. God bless my plain speaking homeland.
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Got a bit of surprise when I went to pack my suitcase, because I still do not own a bloody cat
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*SAPPY POST*.To make the most read on the Irish Times three weeks in a row for my columns has really meant a lot to me. I've been quite homesick for Australia and family. So to have the support of so many Irish when I write about Ireland makes me feel like I really belong x.
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Found this in the cab on the way home. Asked the driver if he had some kids in before me who left their creation behind. He said he’d taken a woman and her children to a refuge. I’m not 100 per cent sure how this works but I hope they’re being watched over and taken care of.
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My Tik Tok feed is just content makers with aggressive Dublin 4 accents asking me "GOIS DID EWE KNOW THIS HIDDEN BOARR EXISTS IN DUBLIN" and then just showing me footage of McDaids/The Long Hall.
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At what stage of living in Ireland do you just accept that you will never be a comfortable temperature ever again:.
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Was going to miss my gig because Dublin’s lack of taxis so my boyfriend cycled across the city back home to walk me there. If the govt won’t let us have ride share I’m going to pioneer Culchie share, where I rent out six foot gaa players to escort you home safely.
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“Well fuck that”. Australian political discourse is just built different
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When I (an Aussie) look at a cold Irish beach and everyone shivering trying to change under their sad little towels going 'it's lovely once you get out!' it's the cultural equivalent of me handing a pint of Guinness with a 20cm foamy head to an Irish person.
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Have you ever encountered an airport Mammy? The woman who just takes charge and sorts things out when the airline/airport stuffs up and tries to pass it off not their problem. Just had a senior Galway woman step up at Heathrow airport and man I would follow her to war.
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You don’t need a Dyson fan. You need to keep your blinds down and your windows open. Create cross breezes with your doors. Heat rises = decamp to downstairs. Wet tea towels put them in the freezer. Put them around your neck.
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I always thought I would grow up and one day become a woman who wears heels to lunch but now I realise you do not become this woman. You either are either born a lunch heel woman or you are never one. This is not sex and the city/Celtic tiger. Some of us get blisters.
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Never take a person to IKEA who keeps sighing and going “we don’t need that” . In every relationship there is the civilised person who knows champagne coupes are essential and the other one who would have us all eat dinner out of our hands if it meant not buying home wares.
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There is an emerging genre of film/tv based called “Irish people don’t talk about their feelings and this is the resulting mess it creates”
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Love explaining this to foreigners: . Yeah nah the Irish government is gonna tell people how they can spend Christmas but they have to do it before 9.30 because everyone will be watching a show about toys. Oh yeah the adults too.
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Beautiful Sydney Rose came out on stage. “Why doesn’t mine look like that?”says my brave partner who has no regard for his personal safety.
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My pal @aoifegracemoore just won best journalist and best scoop of the year. She can add that to “great friend, big ride, craic merchant, supporter of other women in media and overall sounder”. Her only weakness: setting up ironing boards.
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Shoutout to my mum for telling 8 year old me to say “cigarettes” when the religion teacher asked what I was giving up for Lent. She knows a good bit when she sees one.
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I did some back of the envelope sums and I am €8470.19 worse off living in Ireland every year than I am in Australia. NOT INCLUDING Aus lower taxes/rents etc. This comes from missing superannuation, higher cost of medication, cost of GP/consultant/private health care.
‘Grass looks greener’ but young people won’t find lower rents emigrating, Tánaiste says
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“Can’t believe I’m just after winning the Grand National”. Rachel Blackmore with the most Irish response possible.
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Happy new year from the future. In 2022 we have clear skin, clear minds and we pay nurses what they deserve x
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Took my granny to the free clinic after hours in one of the most deprived areas of Sydney in terms of socioeconomic status and services. We were seen in ten minutes and only paid €3.50 for medication. I can’t do that in Dublin 4 with private health insurance.
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Getting my parents set up on Revolut for their upcoming visit to Ireland. Dad won’t use it because “it asked for his bank card.” . I’ll never get that 40 mins of my life back.
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If you did a gap year or migrated to Australia to work at some point I don't wanna hear you talk about #irelandisfull.
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‘ I hadn’t been catfished. I’d been culchiefished. Two years after meeting a bearded hipster with thick glasses at a rave in Dublin, I was now spending a lot of time outside, looking at things and agreeing that, yes, that was “a grand big field/tractor’.
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Hey @australian and Bill Leaks. This is what an aboriginal dad looks like (my brother)- so get stuffed.
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I went into Penney’s expecting full doomsday prep style of panic buying. We all saw the snarky comments about fake tan etc but the busiest section was the children’s winter PJ’s/ People’s priority are just trying to keep their kids warm at night. I’m not crying, you are.
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Today’s working from home learnings. Apparently you can butter toast “too loudly and slowly” when someone is on a call …. in the next room.
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My dad, a firefighter just finishing up one of his 24 hour shifts in the bushfire emergency to get me from the airport. Still found time to embarrass the beejesus out of me. What a hero
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I got in the bloody sea. Overheard a pale man tell himself and his gf the most optimistic (and irish) lie “sure I’m burnt but in a few days it will go brown”
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Only three protesters here at this entrance to Eid Al-Alha prayer at Croke Park. Two to hold a banner, one to film a speech for social media. Their banner says “Make Ireland Catholic Again.”
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Am I a Karen? A saga: Last night sat on the balcony at midnight getting some air before bed (it’s the inner city of Dublin so the air smells like kebabs which is actually quite fantastic). I hear loud music and look up to the Stay City hotel directly across the lane 1/.
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Business idea: an app that tells you which pub/bar in Dublin currently has seats in the sun.
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When your Irish friends say you can sit with them at @TheMatildas #IRLAUS game as long as you “don’t look too Australian and embarrass us”
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G’day delighted to announce I’m now with @thejournal_ie as their Fact Check journalist.
The main story on @thejournal_ie, coming up after midnight:. FactCheck: Are vaccinated people as likely to transmit Covid-19 as non-vaccinated people?. The claim was made in the Dáil this week. We look at the study cited, and other evidence to find out if it's accurate.
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I am terrified of walking around in case I fall on an icy footpath because if Ireland has taught me anything it is to live in fear of an RTE camera.
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People who take photos of restaurant menus and upload them to Google maps are the real MVPs of the world.
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💉 The Taoiseach says “Vaccines are transformative, they are the way out.”. Yet other countries who invested in hotel quarantine, contact tracing and mass testing from the start are practically back to normal despite only starting vaccine rollouts in March.
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I never tire of the sheer chaos the @TG4TV social media inflicts on timelines. It's my favourite thing to fund as a tax payer and I will defend it forever.
🎶Dancing in the disco, bumper to bumper.Wait a minute, where's me jumper.Where's me jumper.Where's me jumper.Where's me jumper. 🐾
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A man devoted to his religion and his second religion - hurling! Iraqi Irishman Abood Al Jumaili says @officialgaa was how he found community here when he moved in 2008. He says he can even get an Aussie playing. @IrelandAMVMTV live from Croke Park
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Real housewives of intermediate GAA. Due to finding out this is an amateur sport even at the highest level I will be resigning immediately. Thank you
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Today my mum retires from her retail/bank job. She spent 33 years in a job she didn’t like so I could be the first person in my family to chose what they did for a living. To have a career. That is love.
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“I’m just a labourer.” .Actually broke my heart there a bit that he downplayed a well paying working class job there. MARXIST ANALYSIS OF #LoveIsland ANYONE?.
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They announced England’s defeat in the Ashes over the supermarket loudspeaker and everyone cheered. Australians 🤝 the Irish . The brits losing in sport.
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The grimmest Grand Designs is currently on. The one where he didn’t finish the house and his wife leaves him and they might go bankrupt. Host: but lovely views though.
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The statue of Queen Victoria the good people of Ireland didn’t want and sent to Sydney instead. The ultimate regift
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#NEW.Real Estate Investment Funds in Ireland and tax explained with cans and Percy pigs. *I couldn’t be arsed going to shop for Guinness but yis get the point . #housingcrisis
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My take on the GAA in Irish Times today: “From the outside it has all the demands of a cult without the perks of group sex.” @roisiningle.
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After a long hard day I came home to discover this is the potato my partner was about to cook for dinner. “It’s grand,” he said. This is surely illegal
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This animal rescue centre in Australia puts their goats in tiny knitted jumpers in winter.
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Apparently asparagus is not an allowable veg in an Irish roast dinner, neither is corn. Also eating pumpkin is semi taboo? Is this nation wide or just the weirdos in my life? This wasn’t covered in normal people, please help.
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Catching up a foreign news desk editor about Irish affairs . “How’s the heat wave going, is there much talk of climate change etc?”.“Sorta but people are mainly arguing about the welfare of a goat on a 50ft stand”.“How did it get stuck?”.“No they put it up there”.“Yeah, right…”.
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Irish visitors to Aus tell me they're horrified (good) by the racist tropes our Indigenous peoples put up with - welfare cheats/get everything for free/one rule for them, one rule for us/cause trouble. Exactly the same things I've heard directed at Travellers since I've arrived.
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It must really frighten middle age middle class white blokes like @DavQuinn that women can express opinions now. Sorry lads.
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After this pandemic is over my number one topic of journalistic inquiry is 'Flyscreens: Why don't Irish houses have them'.
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Big thanks to @AusEmbIre and Ambassador Gary Gray who reached out and didn’t stop until they help it get resolved (Godsend). Shout out to Alex from the London @Qantas office for her compassion. Overwhelmed with kindness on here - maybe Twitter isn’t hell after all?.
Hi @Qantas I’m trying to fly home to Sydney urgently to my five year old nephews funeral. I’ve been on hold for nearly 2.5 hours when the operator hung up. Is there something else you can do please? I’ve already contacted by DM. I can’t make changes though the booking.
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Irish attitude towards the Olympics: Jeez we’ve someone in that event. Fair play!. Australians: We must win or don’t come home. We will have an inquiry if there aren’t enough gold medals. Swimmers are gods.
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This is a correct and appropriate temperature for me to live in Ireland without complaint.
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No that’s your job. You are the government. You make the budget.
Today is #WorldMentalHealthDay, a day to reflect on how we can all work together to create positive mental wellbeing. As we emerge from the pandemic, it has never been more important to reach out, talk openly, and look out for one another.
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I am dead inside but boy do I love watching men scurry about Dublin on Valentine’s Day with their bunches of flowers after work knowing someone at home is about to get a nice surprise ❤️.
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Four years ago I landed in Ireland for a “one year” career break from news to do breakfast telly.
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But you know what you will find: .- superannuation ( mandatory employer paid pension on top of salary).- better employment rights.- higher salaries.- lower rents + more stock .- accessible health services which are free (for most).- low cost medication schemes.
‘Grass looks greener’ but young people won’t find lower rents emigrating, Tánaiste says
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Just wanted to say the people of Ireland are a bunch of bloody legends. Thank you for all the kind words. I'm making my way through messages.
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