The Fel-Gnome Wizard
@Lv100WormMage
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it first starts with me picking my belly button. a fruitful harvest inderd.
Joined March 2022
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What ever happened to tragically remaining lonely for the rest of your life after your wife dies
Pixar is releasing a new short film ‘DUG DAYS: CARL’S DATE’ on February 10 which follows Carl as he prepares for his first date since Ellie’s death.
See what else is coming soon to Disney+:
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During a D&D session my party found out a town was run by an awful monarch so we killed him and much to my DMs dismay we didn’t just leave it at that, we spent the ENTIRE session establishing a democracy, opening public schools, and creating a healthcare system
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Sam Hyde: what if we made a sketch where my mom is covered in peanut butter and rolled down a hill of coconut shavings?
Jet Neptune:
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When you 3 blunts in and she starts talking about her history of sexual abuse
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Jay Gatsby: “what is that ominous green light across the bay?”
The ominous green light in question:
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Me in 6 months when another girl with a septum piercing destroys my life
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What would you do if i was sprinting at you full speed. And you had nothing to defend yourself with. And you were in a dead end so you couldn’t move out of the way. What would you do. What would you do.
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When I’m in bed and I see the faint silhouette of a penis gnome creaking open my bedroom door
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6 year olds when they see a black man in the grocery store
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Pitch black eyes, like a steer. This man is livestock born to be harvested by higher beings. If I had my way he’d live in a corrugated sheet metal hut in Bhutan with monkey that pulls his nose hairs in the night
Someone buy him a brita filter and some bronzer please I’m begging
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Spite
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Sweet talked the waitress and did this to her in the bathroom! Thank you Kristi!!
If you sweet talk the waitress they let you do this at Golden Corral
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What if missiles hit your dirty apartment tomorrow and exploded your nothing life
okay but hear me out..
what if there was a 21+ movie theater that sold THC/CBD infused popcorn and snacks
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When my dad was a kid he spray painted a swastika on some guy’s goat but it was lead paint so the goat died
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HAPPENING NOW: Draugr appear en masse at Liverpool Tesco after necromancer Kel’Arzul discovers Jaffa Cakes are out of stock
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Flirting as a Normie is just pretending you are the main character of a quirky comedy tv show as you fall effortlessly through level 0 tutorial banter and then you get pussy
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Me and the random sex bot that just liked my Instagram story
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She sucked on the tip I’m creaming like a lesbian
*insane slowdown beat switch*
Racism affects 300,000 people worldwide each year.
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White people be paying $8k in vet bills for a 15 year old blind 3 legged dog with aids
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Me at the cafe trying to explode the pink haired barista with my mind:
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How niggas be down there trying to get they SSRI gf to cum
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Society: that white boy is too sensitive!!!! His heart is too pure, and good!! Kill him now!!!!!
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4skin tarred and feathered and flayed and hanged by dawn im in disbelief bro is the first fucking Google result when you search the trump shooter
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If AOC did this I’d switch up on you niggas so fast
Uchino Airi, a candidate in the Tokyo gubernatorial race, stripped during her official public television speech, asking viewers if they thought she was sexy. She asked them to add her as a friend on messaging app LINE and pledged to respond to everyone.
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Me: “man what’s taking this food so long to get here”
My Doordash driver:
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Idgaf how good your shit is if this is your artist description I’m skipping your monkey ass music
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Someone could just go in there and start folding niggas
Say what you will about polyamory this seems like a good fat dab hit activity
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When she doesn’t text me back in half of one picosecond
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White people dont ask to hit your vape anymore they just look at you like this
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How I be when I cut in front of Jordan Peterson in the froyo line and he calls me a coward and a narcissist and a fiend
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Everyone in the bar when I have a full pack of cigarettes
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If my opps keep it up imma have to bust out the hood wedgie
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Me watching a bunch of Mexicans beat up a Mexican woman 20 feet from my car while I’m eating a McDonald’s burger
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Soyjak fish mailbox soyjak funny large mouth bass humor fishing humor
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Achilles tarred and feathered live on Twitter space in front of 150k+ people
outside of 9/11, what's a major historical event you lived through that you'll never forget where you were when it happened?
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Some ideas are best left in the living room, carried away by the weed smoke that made you stupid enough to think of them
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Setting my Spotify gender to non-binary so they give me better recommendations
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HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH
Donald Trump rally gunman has been identified as Thomas Matthew Crooks.
via nypost
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Me bringing up the “monkey rapes frog” video for the fifth time in an hour at the function
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Get that thing off the road bruh
great news little munchkinators— munchkin recently had her 6 month checkup and she’s somehow still relatively healthy for a 22 year old cat with feline herpes & arthritis :’)
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I went to high school with this girl and one time she burst into my class to yell at her boyfriend. Not a joke btw
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No paint on that roll
Downtown Fredericton is looking a little brighter this morning as City crews paint the PRIDE sidewalk in front of City Hall. 🌈
This is one small step on our long road together toward a more inclusive and safe society for all!
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Incels in my group chats transvestigating this post
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She would pepper spray you if you approached her in the library. Don’t even think about it Chud.
She’s a single girl in her early twenties living by herself, and she can’t open a jar of pickles
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The lesbian manager at Burger King when a black person comes back with a messed up order
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Got filmed by a black woman and called racist at work again
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I get this pop up every time I decline to round up my McDonald’s order for charity
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Fatwa placed on 4skin. Curved blades and Arabian horses, the desert rides for his beheading
مكتب التحقيقات الفيدرالي يؤكد أن المدعو "توماس ماثيو كروكس" هو منفذ محاولة اغتيال #ترمب
#العربية
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On my way to work today accidentally splashed a huge puddle of water at like 8 black people waiting at a bus stop
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Wow a big round white girl ass…. I must give my life for Israel..
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Hi can i have a little treat or two or three or four or five or—
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Me hearing “fingerprint not recognized” as a homeless man charges me with his penis out and a broken bottle in his hand
The world’s first “smart gun” finally hits the market, complete with a life-saving fingerprint unlocking system that prevents “unauthorized” people such as kids and criminals from firing it.
The $1,499 gun unlocks in less than a second, using either a fingerprint or facial
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He hitlered around the room penisly
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Fat niggas be like “hmmm.. I like pizza, I like burgers……… I just had an idea..”
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Swing that righteous fist, baby Sneed. Clock that trifling hoe
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