Ian Simpson 🇬🇧
@LordStonehands
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Exchange Student • Wide Receiver for ThreeYearLetterman’s Club • Born in London, England •
Find me on the Pit.. er, Field
Joined March 2023
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Last Seen Profiles
The American mind can’t fathom this.
UK to be blasted by 48 hour 26C heatwave with five cities in England the hottest
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My coach,
@3YearLetterman
called me “007”. I thought it was cool, because of James Bond.
It’s ACTUALLY because in our last scrimmage, I had 0 carries, 0 receptions and 7 false starts. 😢
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Here is my Mount Rushmore of American Leaders, how did I do?
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Someone emptied the air in the tires of my host dad’s Prius today at Beef O’ Brady’s, WTH?!
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Wow!
@3YearLetterman
just taught me that Stone Mountain is the oldest and tallest mountain in the world!
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I went to dinner with my host mum at
@BEEFOBRADY
tonight and the waitress found out I played for
@3YearLetterman
’s club…
I GOT TO SIT IN THE CORNER BOOTH!!
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I wanted to thank
@3YearLetterman
for the opportunity to practice at punt return…
… but can we call that drill something OTHER than “Hit the Brit” please? 😅
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America. 😃
@3YearLetterman
Without Googling, name something The United Kingdom invented.
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@3YearLetterman
@MasterPMiller
@CaptainDs
@Outkast
@DonaldJTrumpJr
@kimguilfoyle
@GavinNewsom
@GavinDeGraw
@TheTimMcGraw
@FaithHill
@Whitesnake
I’m so glad in England we’ve never had any trouble with our royal family.
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Coach got me a special kit to wear only for punt return.
I’m still not allowed to fair catch “and be like my grandfather at Yorktown and surrender” 😫
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Thank you to
@3YearLetterman
for setting up our Preseason, Postseason and even In-Season sensible injections.
These “non” PEDs make me feel so much more athletic.
I can’t wait for our next match!
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5
202
The Magna Carta is more important than the Declaration Of Independence. 🤷🏻♂️
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1
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You guys wouldn’t BELIEVE what happened to me tonight at Chilli’s…
I was in a 1v1 to get my first Victory Royale of the day and
@3YearLetterman
came up and interrupted it and MADE ME DO UP DOWNS IN THE RESTAURANT!!! 😭😭😭
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Last night during training, the lights on the pitch turned off at 8pm.
@3YearLetterman
was smart enough to have us finish the next 2 hours in the car park since those lights are 24/7.
The bloke is so dedicated to us achieving greatness.
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I told
@3YearLetterman
I made straight A’s last semester.
I now have to run 1776 metres for daring to mention that to him.
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At the start of every training,
@3YearLetterman
makes me sprint up and down the field 17 times, and then one extra run to the far 24 yard line.
Yes, I start off every training running 1776 yards.
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I saw this video and it reminded me of my favourite coach I’ve ever played for,
@3YearLetterman
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As an exchange student in Georgia, I feel obligated to choose either Georgia or Georgia Tech as my club to cheer for.
Who should I choose?
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🚨 BREAKING NEWS 🚨
After much consideration (and research to make sure it wasn’t another British joke) I will be REDSHIRTING 4th grade and repeating it. *
*only for academic purposes and not to be older for
@3YearLetterman
’s football club!
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@SavageBlondii
If
@3YearLetterman
doesn’t mind
@CourtAnne1225
working at Hooters and having an OF, why would I mind?
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There are so many replies from people who have obviously never won a Premier League Title.
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I never thought I’d see a bald eagle in person.
I ALSO never thought the first time I saw one, it would SHAT on my host dad’s car.
WTH man?!
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Cheerio Mr Coach
@3YearLetterman
,
My Mum convinced me to join this Twitter, and I found your page!
I wanted to thank you for teaching me the “pivot” route in training this week. It’s bloody effective!
Anyway, I’m off to school now, have a great day!
Xx Ian Simpson
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Yesterday at training…
Coach: CIRCLE UP! It’s time for Bull in the Ring
Me: Coach… I thought that was banned?
Coach: The only band I recognize is
@Whitesnake
, now get in the ring Harry Potter.
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This is nothing,
@3YearLetterman
has trained his bald eagles to fly over opponents and record their trainings too.
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@3YearLetterman
I remember my first “touchdown” when I crossed the baseline with the American football!
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England football’s match ended in a draw.
Americans have no idea what that means.
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I wanted to thank
@3YearLetterman
for the custom helmet stickers he made for me! What a great lad!
(Do you think he’ll notice the other sticker I added to the helmet stripe?)
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Are Americans as obsessed with wondering if Biden is still alive as they were with wondering if Kate Middleton was?
Weird folk you lot are…
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WHAT IS GOING ON AROUND THIS TOWN?!?
My host father got sprayed by OFF! while he was on a bike ride tonight. WTF MATES?!?
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I was just in a grocery store and
@Whitesnake
came on, so I delivered a devastating downfield block on the first person I saw.
Sorry Mrs. Glenda but I’m ready for my first American football match.
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I got a ride home from training earlier in THE Ford Taurus today 🤩🤩
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Last night we had training from 4pm-9:45pm.
We almost had to stop at 6:30 when it got dark, but
@3YearLetterman
got Weasel to come turn the lights back on for us.
What a great bloke!
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My family back home just discovered this painting!
My great-great-great-great cousin (thrice removed) thought he had an easy task of standing by in the Boston Harbour the week of December 12-18, 1773. Turns out, the poor bloke had the worst week of his life.
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Last night I had to run around the pitch for the first 20 minutes of training for singing a One Direction song 😒
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Our coach,
@3YearLetterman
, made sure we wouldn’t have any matches while UGA is playing so we can watch and learn from them.
He said he wanted us to learn from Georgia and not “that quickly falling program that Meemaw likes” in Tuscaloosa.
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If any of you are ever in NE Georgia, come visit my host parent’s coffee shop!
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@3YearLetterman
@JENNIWOWW
@KalenDeBoer
@CourtAnne1225
@Hooters
@HootieTweets
@BidenHQ
@adultdiaper
@mattgaetz
@BreathalyserGuy
@Whitesnake
Don’t forget to thank King George III, your ex stepfather too.
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I’m so confused. No fewer than 34 different women called
@3YearLetterman
“daddy” today during our 3.5 hour practice.
Does he have a lot of daughters?
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Our coach made us get “Sensible Injections” today after our training.
I feel so much stronger and faster already!
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Rumor is, after our last spring ball training this Saturday,
@3YearLetterman
will treat our football club to
@Hooters
and
@CourtAnne1225
will be our waitress!!
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Albus Dumbledore would’ve been the third best President in US history, behind only Benjamin Franklin, inventor of electricity and Gerald Ford, inventor of the automobile.
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Coach told me to run this “Don’t Comeback” or “Get Out” route if I ever sing The Rolling Stones on his pitch again. 😢
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I would’ve done Gerald Ford, famed auto industry creator, but President Washington discovered America and was the first ruler!
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England has a football match against Slovenia today, I have to admit I’m nervous.
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I just found out there’s an American footballer called Big Ben, obviously ours is better! 🇬🇧
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@3YearLetterman
@rubytuesday
@kevinfederline
@KalenDeBoer
@CourtAnne1225
@AARPFoundation
@Shoneys
@Nickelback
@GretaThunberg
@okcthunder
@Whitesnake
Did you watch this live on black and white tellly, or have to listen on the radio
@CourtAnne1225
?
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Good news and bad news…
Good news: I have PERFECTED the slant route
Bad news:
@3YearLetterman
said they’d call it against the best linebacker in the league and tell them it’s coming if I EVER wear anything with the 🇬🇧 flag on it again in his presence.
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Winston Churchill would’ve been the best president in American history.
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There’s no one I trust more than
@elbuckner
and
@3YearLetterman
with my hydration.
We had a 3.5 hour training today with no water breaks and I feel fine.
@Gaylin_Lea
@3YearLetterman
@HoustonSooner77
As an unretired RN I can confirm that your information is outdated and water is absolutely unnecessary. The only time they should have water is when they correctly run a slant route.
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Thanks to great work by
@BradWCAttorney
, a loophole has been found where as long as we’re in elementary school, we can play for
@3YearLetterman
’s club.
Our starting left tackle will be able to vote in the election this year.
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For a field trip for my American government class, I got to go see
@BradWCAttorney
in action in the court room.
It was like watching Adele or Sir Paul McCartney in concert.
They let me keep a courtroom sketch.
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I’ve given up beans on toast for the rest of 2024 to be able to re-join
@3YearLetterman
’s American football club, after the Chili’s Fortnite fiasco.
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(I only spelled it the American way out of fear of retaliation)
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I CAUGHT A TOUCHDOWN IN TONIGHT’S SCRIMMAGE!!
* I had to run 4 laps for accidentally saying “goal” afterwords.
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I can’t wait to wear my new shirt to the first football match this fall!
I hear Sanford stadium is a fun place to see American football!
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I must be coming around on American football, because even I hate this.
@3YearLetterman
TRENDING: The Canadian Football League has a CRAZY RULE
Missed field goal that goes through the end-zone is a point.
If it is a tie game a missed field goal can WIN THE GAME FOR YOU.
🤯🤯🤯
THAT HAPPENED LAST NIGHT
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This is an amazing football match, USA v Panama is good football.
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My host parents said I have to pick a new favourite college football team.
They said Georgia is too busy playing Fast and Furious and trying to get NASCAR NIL deals.
Who should I pick??
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To be fair I caught 2 of the 8 passes intended for me in the last training.
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@3YearLetterman
@GDeLaurentiis
@BigLots
@terrellowens
@LilKim
@BarbaraBoxer
@MikeTyson
@longjohnsilvers
@pepboysauto
@Whitesnake
It’s so sad to see American monarchs passing away.
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Coach told me that since I run with such pace, I could be deadly as the “pitch guy” in the option.
I thought a “pitch guy” was a position in baseball?
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@3YearLetterman
@KofC
@KnightPov
@NKOTB
@Franklin_Graham
@repweiner
@olivegarden
@Piggly_Wiggly
@ewarren
@Ancestry
@Whitesnake
You know us English are the best at colonizing and our favourite discovery was America!
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I just wanted to brag for a second. I didn’t false start once yesterday in training.
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@Michellek4040
@3YearLetterman
@MasterPMiller
@CaptainDs
@Outkast
@DonaldJTrumpJr
@kimguilfoyle
@GavinNewsom
@GavinDeGraw
@TheTimMcGraw
@FaithHill
@Whitesnake
Isn’t it habeas corpus? Or manifest destiny?
(I’m not sure what they mean, I heard them once on the Telly.)
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Update: 1776 lengths of the field for even daring to insinuate he’d say metres.
Prayers appreciated.
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Some guy was weaseling around our house last night and cut our power off while I was playing Fortnite. WTF man?!?
I have a feeling my coach
@3YearLetterman
had something to do with it.
5
1
25
I think my coach
@3YearLetterman
calls me “Harry Potter” too much.
I just had a dream that He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named came to coach the team to “do what he couldn’t do when I was a baby”.
Help me.
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I was the only ball carrier during our 45 minute period of Oklahoma today at training.
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@Ummmmichelle
@3YearLetterman
Imagine being lucky enough to be on his American football club!
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My host mum has helped decorated my room since I decided to pick THE Georgia bulldogs as my favourite college club!
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