LaraInTheMiddle
@LaraInTheMiddle
Followers
694
Following
496
Media
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Statuses
177,719
Blogger~Traveller~Photographer~ House Renovator◾️Paid up member of the sandwich generation▪️Never bothers with people she’d hate▪️Married to @ianslaterphoto1
Norwich
Joined July 2009
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Can we all take a moment to appreciate my husband’s photographs please. Thank you
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Listen up bitches.
Today is my 50th birthday (yes I will mention that regularly today) and I won’t be doing any of the lovely things we had planned including parties and holidays. BUT if I can stay home on my special day I’m pretty sure you can.
Don’t fuck up. STAY AT HOME!
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In a damning indictment today, I opened my mother’s locked iPhone with my own face.
I’ll just be over here weeping
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After battling with dementia for several years, we lost my darling dad late last night. It was, after all the suffering, a blessed release. In truth we lost the ‘real him’ a long time ago. He was the best dad and grandad ever. 💔
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Clothes? The same thing you wore when you were 39? JFC 🙄
👏🏻stop👏🏻this👏🏻shit👏🏻
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I’ve just dropped my mum at Heathrow to fly to Australia alone.
She has no idea that in about half an hour my brother is going to pitch up next to her in the Qantas lounge.
Hopefully a photo of the look on her face will follow soon. I wish I could see it
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I’m “not drinking during the week” but as I’ve no clue what day it is I’m having a G&T
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@CoquusGrumio
@supitslois
They get everywhere 👀 I reckon they have ‘good morning’ quotas to achieve.
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My mum has been talking about an apple drink my brother gave her in Australia since she got back. She even had me googling Australian apple drinks 😂
I found out this week she’s talking about Aperol 🙄
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@free_champagne
@theroyalfactor
@CllrBSilvester
I work less than 2 minutes walk from a mosque in Holborn and I’ve NEVER heard the call to prayer in London.
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8 years ago today I went for a drink in London with a stranger off Twitter. I wonder what happened to him 🤔
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@NKambera
@ZonePhysics
It’s not a trick, it’s because the frame rate of the camera is almost the same as the frequency of vibration…
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@rowancoleman
We met on Twitter. I had just left my 2nd marriage & was totally fed up. He asked me for a drink if I was ever in London. I told him I hardly ever got to London. The next day my boss asked me to go to a meeting in London. That was Dec 2013. We married in Central Park in May 2015
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Thank god we didn’t cut our ties with Europe and rely on our special relationship with the US.
Oh.
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@PaulKorney
@creepydotorg
She got stuck in a waterfall and couldn’t go up or down.
This is her story in her own words
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Want some good news twitter? Dad moved into his proper residential home today, right at the end of mum’s road 💞
#dementia
#DementiaAwareness
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@sarajcox
This: sindy’s house and her bedroom furniture. I was gutted because I wanted the proper townhouse but I never let on to mum and dad. Apparently that bedroom furniture is worth £50 on eBay now!
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We’re in. It’s been an utter nightmare, the place is a mess and there have been words with the previous owner. But we’re in and after a bloody good clean tomorrow I’m sure we will be more optimistic. And look at that view…
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WE HAVE COMPLETED ON THE SALE OF OUR HOUSE. This is not a drill.
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Even after all this time, sticking your hand out and hailing a cab in the street never gets dull
#LoveLondon
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Whoever thought of this is a genius ❤️
All aboard the Gateway Express, a train experience built inside a care home.
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@AlStewartOBE
I didn’t think making sweeping generalisations was your thing
@AlStewartOBE
. I know lots of people who don’t think lockdown is a good idea but still abide by the rules.
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@KirstieMAllsopp
Yes I hugged my mum last weekend. She has been in our bubble the whole time. Last Sunday she broke down in tears and said she didn’t know how she’d have got through the last year without my husband and me. Damn right I hugged her then.
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Incentives for pregnant women to give up smoking, such as shopping vouchers?
If having a baby isn't enough of an incentive, don't have one
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Even if you think Christmas is a load of old bollocking humbug, could we all try and be nice to each other for a couple of days?
If someone says they like something that you don’t, you don’t *have* to tell them
The world won’t stop spinning if we’re all less rabid for 48 hours
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Me: can you please text me a photo of the list I left on the kitchen table?
Him:
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Anyone else’s grandmother/mother used to keep these in the door of their fridge for greasing tins? I don’t buy blocks of butter very often now but it was a real nostalgia trip just now
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Beautiful sunset over London tonight. Tomorrow we will get up, go to work, meet friends, drink cocktails and laugh. Life goes on or they win
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I give you Kim Kardashian, role model to millions - MILLIONS - of young girls, peddling appetite suppressants on IG.
It’s time to call bullshit on this ridiculous woman. And her family.
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Remember a couple of weeks ago when people were being snooty about people going shopping? Now people are being snooty about people who want to to pubs 🤷🏻♀️ if it’s not for you don’t bloody go but don’t keep mithering on about people who do 🙄
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Nine years today since our first date. Pre Brexit, pre Covid, when Twitter wasn’t a polarised binfire and a tweet about rock music and cocktails could change your life*
@IanSlaterPhoto1
*I had
@RubbishWife
and
@ginlington
on speed dial in case he turned out to be an axe murderer
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Typical reaction, let’s remove alcohol from air travel because the minority can’t handle their drink.
#planedrunk
#panorama
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I'm wearing the dress today that Theresa May is wearing on the front of the Daily Fail. In case you were wondering how my day is going.
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Michelle Obama, current status: sewing prawns into curtain hems and sprinkling cress seed in the carpets
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Blew a Gen Zers mind last night by telling them that my hen night in 1992 consisted of Pizza Hut and a nightclub in my own town followed by me going to my own home and sleeping in my own bed
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My dad has been taken off section and is being moved to a proper care home of Mum's choosing :)
#dementia
#Alzheimers
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This is *not* an apology, apologies don’t need qualification.
"*If* I made [Prof Whitty] feel uncomfortable, which it does look like I did, then I am sorry to him for that," he said.
Man apologises over Prof Chris Whitty park footage - BBC News
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This. This is the sort of person we should be celebrating, not Kylie effing Jenner
So I just got my degree results...
After six tough years of study I'm sobbing at the kitchen table. I got a FIRST! BA (hons) Creative Writing and Literature.
Not bad for a thick kid from a council estate. Can't quite process it yet.
#lifegoal
#dreamcometrue
.
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Five years ago today we were checking out possible wedding locations in Central Park for the next day 😍😍
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@sarajcox
Begged my mum for a Pierrot clown in the 80s, I loved it. Walked into my old childhood bedroom a few weeks ago and it scared the crap out of me 😂 I made her give it to charity so it can scare someone else!
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D’you remember when you were a child, and your idiot sibling did something stupid and your mum punished *all* of you instead of just your idiot sibling?
That’s what’s going to happen if you don’t STOP GOING TO THE PUB!
FFS they will lock us all in. Drink at home assholes
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Can you all decide to make something other than sourdough and banana bread this time please. Thanks.
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@jennyeclair
You can do this with
@Ocado
Jenny. They have an option for you to give £2.50, £5 or £10 and they match it, then work with local food banks to donate what’s actually needed
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Now is probably one of those times to remember the adage ‘if you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all’
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@Baddiel
I’m not sure many people are, I think the comparison is in the fact that the Queen, possibly the one person who could’ve pulled rank, didn’t. She exhibited the same behaviour as the rest of the UK, & demonstrated that she wasn’t above the rules, and that photo is now symbolic
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A quick lesson in how photographs can be manipulated by the media to make places look more crowded than they really are… this is the same poppy field, from the exact same spot at different focal lengths…
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My sons have just put my mother on Facebook. I’m cutting them out of the will.
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@KirstieMAllsopp
It was a thing in my last job in 2019, introduced by our new American colleagues. When ever they said “I’ll reach out to X” I would hum or sing the Four Tops. They soon stopped saying it to me 🤣
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Bitch I can barely be bothered to put foundation on my face most days let alone my whole body. Life’s too short. 🤷🏻♀️
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I’ll see your airport beers and raise you airport champagne
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Had no dad but knew how to be a great one
Came from nothing, ended up with his own engineering company
Loved my mum fiercely, loved a good anecdote (with diagrams!) renovated 2 houses all by himself
Died from bastard dementia. Miss him every day
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Saw Billy Joel at Wembley last night. When he sang Piano Man he had 80,000 people singing along with him. Imagine that. Imagine writing something that people sing back to you.
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Crispy sea bass on smokey chorizo chowder. I cooked and gave the old man the night off.
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Running a book on the first person to say they’re taking their tree down already because they can’t cope with the mess any longer. See also the same people who put their tree up in November
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Still don’t know why everyone is panic buying toilet roll. 🤷🏻♀️ I mean, if I’m getting stuck in the house for two weeks I’m panic buying gin.
PS panic doesn’t have a ‘k’ in it 🙄 c’mon people, standards must be maintained
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My mum has had this table for about 35 years (from brand new) and I’ve seen it uncovered once. On Monday I asked her what was the point of having it if she never saw it? Today I just got this…. ❤️
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I’m not a Charles fan, but I do feel sad for him that he can’t just be a son who has lost his mother today.
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Son has gone to the beach. I’m not telling you where it is but you’re all going to the wrong beaches 🤷🏻♀️
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That I would’ve chosen a tidier shelf to stand in front of 🤷🏻♀️
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Two of our offspring are getting married next year (within 6 weeks of each other 😬) and one of them has shared this in the family chat today 😬🤣 much nodding and agreeing happening
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Met him, dated him, married him.
Retweet if you've ever met someone face-to-face after previously only knowing them from Twitter.
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If there’s anything better than this on the internet at the moment I don’t want to know. 💞 🧚♀️ 🧚♂️
Everyone! Read this! I’ve known Sarah *years* and have been watching this unfold on Facebook the last few days. It can’t fail to make you smile.
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Whoever decided to give grown adults a sticker for getting their vaccination… well done! It made me laugh 😂 although I would have preferred a lollipop
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I'VE COMPLETED ON MY FLAT HURRRRRAAAAAHHHHHHH ggodbye little flat, we had fun times ❤️
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My mum has caught her new car on the wall of their house (over 40 years many friends and family have fallen foul of this wall…)
She sent me this photo with this text yesterday 😂😂
#mumtexts
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I love this podcast - one minute laughing about masturbating to keep your hands out of the biscuit tin and the next minute feeling sad for Shelly from Russia ❤️
@jennyeclair
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I just went out in my car to deliver something**, and drove round the (empty) bypass at 70 (speed limit!) with my sunglasses on and Killer Queen playing really loud. It was brilliant
#SocialDistancing
** they came and got it from my boot, yelled ‘love you’ and then I drove off
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On a serious note I’d like to thank all the delivery drivers who are out there right now delivering stuff, without whom my birthday would’ve been even quieter ❤️❤️
#thankyou
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In case you (like me) thought the world was going to hell in a handcart, check out the
#BeMoreWitWitWoo
#bemorewitwitwoo
tag today and heal your soul ❤️
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Fish n chips tonight. I’ve never been so excited about a take away 👀
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Mum is putting up her tree. These were new for her and dad’s first Christmas. They’re 51 years old ❤️
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I know all the words to ‘Everything she Wants’ but I can’t remember what I need from the shops without a list 🙄
#TOTP
George tho 💔
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December is officially open. I can’t remember the last time I had an advent calendar. 2020 made me
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