Lamont Price
@LPizzle
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Following
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Statuses
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Standup comedian. Licensed Bootyologist. Connect 4 and Super Mario Kart Champion. I have an afro and I'm great on clay. Rap Game Barnaby Jones
Somewhere in my head
Joined February 2009
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Pinned Tweet
Ayo, I'm dropping my Booker T article for
@BostonMagazine
. That's right, I'm a "5 TIME! 5 TIME! 5 TIME! 5 TIME! 5 TIME!" published writer!!! This time I rank my Top 5 New England Amusement Parks. Now can you dig THAT, sucka?!?
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Piers Morgan telling people dealing with years of racism to "suck it up" and then quitting his show after 10 minutes of fair criticism is hilarious
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First dude was WELL positioned for that initial dap. Acted quickly and naturally. Was awestruck but not overzealous. Calmly raised his palm like he and Will were old friends. Textbook execution. I love dap science
Will Smith reveals to a packed theater crowd that he was watching ‘BAD BOYS: RIDE OR DIE’ with them the entire time.
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Reese Witherself
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"Disney regrets that it has come to this" sounds like the last thing you hear before Mickey Mouse gives a slight nod and Goofy turns the lights out
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Yao could wear Muggsy's suit
Muggsy Bogues and Yao Ming. Are you not entertained?
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"Game Stopped" an Aaron Sorkin film. Starring Jonah Hill, Bill Hader and a white lady, fall 2023
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This is from a Resident Evil cut scene
About to eat some gumbo with 20+ family members in Louisiana. Geaux gumbeaux!
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I don't even wanna give these kids my Kit Kats. Imagine me giving these muffuckas my weed
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Lori Loughlin gonna get sentenced to 3 weeks of watching seasons 5-8 of Full House after they moved the show to Tuesday nights when Aunt Becky and Uncle Jesse lived in the attic even though they had jobs
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It didn't get scarier than these muthafuckas when I was little
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A lot of the debate is between No Vaseline and Hit Em Up and I don't really know. I was young when No Vaseline dropped. But 3 seconds into Hit Em Up I paused that shit, got up and started pacing back and forth like "that's why I WHAT your WHAT you WHAT WHATWHAT"??? I wasn't ready
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He cheated on Nia Long. I'd rather he was tampering or something, cocaine, running guns, ANYTHING but cheating on Nia Long
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My favorite thing about the 1960s Batman show is that sometimes the villains would have to go to court and The Riddler would show up in his Riddler shit saying "I don't know what you're talking about"
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Been wanting to punch the smug face of that dude at the end of the Cheers opening credits for YEARS
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Him: what'll it be?
Me: large pepperoni and shoulder sweat pizza, please
Him: be ready in 2 hours
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Yall crying for Jeremy Lin because no one's signed him yet but laugh at Carmelo Anthony? Y'all weirdos
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I'M from Boston. These 2 people are from Scituate
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I just looked at a Hulu commercial and yelled "EIGHTY FIVE SECONDS?!?!?!" as I straightened out a potato chips bag so I could funnel the crumbs
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I've seen enough horror movies to know that that dog is definitely barking at SOMETHING
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Jaylen Brown: There's still racism in Boston. I've dealt with it
Boston white guys: Prove it!
WEEI:
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THAT'S why Rikishi is trending? Phew. Y'all had me worried for a second
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Stephen had a bunch of Law & Order witness jobs
I’ll join in. 5 jobs I’ve had:
1. Sanitation worker (When I was 14. Lied on my application so I could work)
2. Putting tar on roofs of various electrical stations
3. Counselor for Salvation Army
4. Loading & unloading 18-wheeler trucks
5. Handling paperwork for insurance claims
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I've watched this 20 times and each time I think he got this. Imma watch it again
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Always fill up on bread. You can take the rest of that shit home
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I really thought y'all were driving down together for like 30 seconds
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When I see "Caillou" is trending so I click like "why this bald nigga is trending at 1am?" and then I see it's about someone 5'11 180 and I know it can't be THAT Caillou and then I learn that it IS that Caillou
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Every year. Every damn year. I think I can let it go. But every single year when Peppermint Patti calls Chuck and invites herself and her toes over to his house I flip over every table in my house
#CharlieBrownThanksgiving
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Alexander Graham Bell suggested that telephones should be answered with the word AHOY. HELLO was Thomas Edison’s suggestion.
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Induct Ed Reed's NFL Hall Of Fame bust into the Hall Of Fame Bust Hall Of Fame immediately
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Mel Ott is the greatest baseball player in crossword puzzle history
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We need better cinematographers
Apparently there's a tiger loose on my parents' West Houston street?
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"JUST GET YOUR ASS OUT THERE AND REPEAT WHAT WE TOLD YOU!!!" - Trump
Matt Whitaker:
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They just gonna virtually sit Ray Allen next to Paul Pierce like it's all good?
A virtual fan in the audience for Game 1 of the NBA Finals: Former President Barack Obama
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Vince always reacted like he forgot Stone Cold Steve Austin worked there
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Palpatine: Have I told you the story of Darth Plagueis The Wise?
Me: You know damn well you ain't told me that specific ass tale!!!
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There was this Pringles knockoff called Pop 'Ems that suppliers would stack right next to the Pringles to fool late night drunk impulse shoppers and me and my boy went into Walgreens at 1am high as fuck and roasted the Pop 'Ems display for 90 minutes
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Home Alone came out exactly 2 months after Goodfellas so I prefer to think Tommy never really got whacked. The hit was a front. He was just renamed Harry and sent into witness protection to work as a plumber in Winnetka IL. But he just couldn't fight that itch
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Gearing up for a full day of people who hated what MLK stood for lying to everybody through his quotes
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Y'all afraid to moan during sex? Couldn't be me. I be in a girl's ear li.... hahaha, I'm just kidding ain't nobody tryna fuck me. I'm gross
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Has there ever been a comic strip as unfunny as Garfield that has gotten this much Hollywood money thrown at it? I know Family Circus is pissed
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No the fuck we don't
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"I'm where I'M supposed to be not sure what's wrong with y'all"
Nothing quite like a nice New York pizza pie delivered to the apartment!
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When you realize that magical familiar smell that reminds you of your grandmother's house is simply store brand dishwashing liquid and nothing you were ever taught matters anymore
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White people discovered what "dog walked" meant last week and they're about to move into that muthafucka and wreck it like it's affordable housing
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I NEED footage of the River Days performance
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America is a white dude named Kyle getting to pick the jurors in his murder trial
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You know damn well why Pig Pen wasnt invited
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The Michelin Mammoth
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What the fuck is a "Madison Cawthorn"? This an episode of Falcon Crest??
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Anytime a crime is committed on The Andy Griffith Show Sheriff Taylor solves every one of them by saying "Weeeeell he didn't know any better why don't we just move on" and lets the criminals walk and I realize that America is just one big Mayberry for white people
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You ain't rich if you don't have a kitchen island. I don't care how much money you have
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"Where are the Patriots playmakers?" - Tony Dungy
🤔
Miami
Arizona
Los Angeles
Cleveland
Tennessee
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Ok, Hellboy. You don't need to tell Black people to vote against Trump. We got that part covered. White people need to start saying this to the people in their own homes. THAT'S who's making this an issue
To my black brothers and sisters: Trump is not only counting on you not to show up, he’s rejoicing in it. Let’s kick this racist motherfucker out of office and into jail where it belongs.
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I know Charlie Brown is a blockhead but these parents giving him rocks for Halloween should seriously be investigated
#GreatPumpkin
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This is the worst fight in nail salon history. A FLYING CRANE KICK, FAM??? Into the plants???
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One of TVs coldest theme songs ever
📺The series finale of 'Night Court' aired 27 years ago tonight, May 13, 1992, on NBC
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