J🌲
@JuniperFolly
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Government psyop to turn rightwing autism into leftwing autism | she/they
Chicago, IL
Joined December 2017
Trump: is she indian or is she black?. White American: sooo i'm 50% irish, 25% italian, 12% german, and 0.02% cherokee :) oh and also viking.
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If a catholic priest spent $2,000 on an outfit it would be dripped in gold. Protestants have no taste.
If your pastor wears a $2,000 sweater to preach on Sundays, find a different church.
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*car almost hits me while biking* nice try boeing.
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These are the best 2 weeks of the year for people with email jobs.
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my chicago ass thought this was deepdish.
pov you came to my house for dinner and I’m serving cheesecake for dessert
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girlfriend tax: stealing a bite of their food. gf tax return: giving them the rest of my food i cant finish.
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Whenever out-of-state friends visit it feels like that 28yo's weekend in chicago except the restaurants we go to are good.
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Kamala Harris:.
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@mrsballs69 >catholic.>have kids.>without commitment. bro out here producing illegitimate children.
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Do not listen to any man that attempts to be a catholic influencer. That job does not exist, if he was really that about it he would go be a priest.
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I don't hate kids, but whenever I've had to watch a small child, I've never walked away from that experience thinking "i wish this was my life 24/7".
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When you take public transit you always get to be passenger princess.
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"Do you know bicyclist turn signals?" . Yes, but drivers don't so i just point to where I'm turning.
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*deletes sad tweet* I am funny and hot and a delight to be around.
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Chicago is so charming. I pay big city rent prices and this is how I adjust my heating
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Why do men message me "please ruin my life" what if I'm actually a big sweetie.
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bruh why/how is there E Coli in everything are our food handlers shitting in their hands.
Over 83 tons of ground beef recalled nationwide, illnesses reported: USDA
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If you're getting annoyed with the rat hole & chicago twitter just remember we have lead in our pipes.
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When i die do not spend 5 figures on a burial. Put my ashes in a divvy bike and throw me into Lake Michigan.
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If JB Pritzker replaced Biden I would be genuinely excited to vote in this election.
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What if instead of kissing one person at midnight you kissed as many people as you could, you have a whole minute.
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I asked my boyfriend to pick up a slice of chocolate pie for me bc i'm on my period and wanted chocolate and he came back with an entire pie.
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@AutisticCallum_ One time when I was a kid my grandma asked me "do you want to switch seats?" and I said "I like where I'm sitting" and didn't understand why she was irritated with me.
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Imagine you tweet "i know it smells crazy in there" and she appears in your mentions.
Thrilled to say I passed my viva with no corrections and am officially PhDone.
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So does Chicago always do this for their mayors or does Lori just love herself
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Tired of men lying about commitment.
My Administration is committed to constructing a 21st century rail system.
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Being hot is a state of mind. Just wake up one day & decide that you're hot and the people that agree with you will find you.
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I love twitter
When you take public transit you always get to be passenger princess.
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I've never been to a Foxtrot are we in a different tax bracket.
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@missh8ter everyone wants to be a slavic doll until the plate of pickled mackerel comes out.
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My contribution to the Keke Palmer discourse is this pic of me on vacation that pissed off my ex
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Tired: trying to convince your best friend to move to chicago. Wired: trying to convince your best friend to go in on a mortgage for a two-flat with you.
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I do not care about the opinions of people who refer to chicago as "chiraq".
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Now that I have a good number of cyclists following me, I have a question. Do cyclists with testicles just sit on them while biking how does that work im curious.
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The bits I commit to on twitter do not represent me or my employer.
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If you live in Chicago you are a Chicagoan.
Mayor Brandon Johnson said he would not “sacrifice the needs of Chicagoans in support of those who wish to become Chicagoans.” @wttw
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Not putting your face as your profile pic is okay, but choosing a photo of a real life person thats hotter than you is criminal.
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I would give anything to live in the little house my grandma sold when I was kid but unfortunately it now costs 1.3M dollars.
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Sydney Sweeney i was unfamiliar with your game
First look at Sydney Sweeney as boxer Christy Martin in a new biopic. Directed by David Michôd.
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Where I grew up, if you owned a truck and only drove it in the suburbs you were called a pavement princess and I think urbanists should co-opt that.
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BREAKING: Las Vegas police have made an arrest in the 1996 drive-by shooting of hip-hop icon Tupac Shakur, AP sources say.
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@WaterpikOwner @HannahPosted Just like how children read all the words on bottles before drinking them.
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@minkahunter this either happened when you were 6 or a fully grown adult, and not knowing makes the story even better.
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The midwest is beautiful and i'm tired of people pretending that it's not.
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Nothing humbles you quite like seeing a pic where you're somewhere in the background exhibiting terrible posture.
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@shamediarist Being someone that people like working with gives you more opportunities for career advancement than being good at your job.
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@samwightt Every week you go to meetings, get asked "But what if we did this???" and then you go research and test it, and come back the next week to tell the client whether or not doing that is a good idea.
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While i was working they went to a deli in Little Italy my friends make me proud.
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Another one (I had booked this rooftop reservation months in advance and this was our view)
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@nikicaga "You're in a nazi ball gargling contest and-" i personally wouldnt enter that contest.
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The entire neighborhood is camped out by the lake to watch the northern lights i love chicago.
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@vanillaopinions It is significantly more difficult to vote in red states than in blue states. Its a lot more complex than just "republicans win in the south bc there's more of them". Republican areas have more polling locations & don't have to wait hours in line to vote. Voter suppression.
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do Paul Vallas supporters know you have to live in Chicago to vote in the Chicago mayor election.
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This old coat is the best gift i've ever received and I'm kinda sad its almost time to get it dry cleaned & put it away
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I'm actually very comfortable with my sexuality once i can get past the catholic shame.
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Remembering my first winter in Chicago where I rear-ended the fuck out of someone after hitting ice. And they got out of their car and looked at my Texas plates like
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Who invited this flat chested little boy
I'm a bridesmaid in a catholic wedding and my outfit is strapless. Gonna work magic with some boob tape & put em away somewhere.
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I can't tweet as good anymore now that I'm getting laid regularly.
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I'm on a 2-hour after hours technical call tonight, just got on Zoom and our cyber security guy has an anime profile pic.
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@mollylambert Here is a pie recipe. It is hidden somewhere in my life story and 5 unskippable advertisements.
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You ever see someone so hot it makes you want to be a better person.
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No one can tell me shit
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