Jules Keeley
@Jules_Keeley
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Red Leg | she/her/ma’am | Cat Content Curator | Opinions are my own and generally unproblematic.
The Mountain Post
Joined August 2009
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Pinned Tweet
Just a couple women, standing in front of a 777 named Britney, living in the moment.
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DC to Richmond on I-95 is the single worst stretch of driving in the United States
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If anybody at Fort Bragg heard laughing in the distance, don’t worry it was just me losing it over this 😂
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I’m sensing a trend as I look for more pics of the baddest women I know
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Formally introducing:
Molly Barbara Keeley, first of her name. Princess of the castle. Destroyer of q-tips. Smallest bean.
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This is it - the peak of my career.
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Observation of the day:
I’ve been an XO for a total of 10 months (with no end in sight) and I have been told “It’s a thankless position” roughly as many times.
My BN XO & btry CO told me I was crushing it this week. AND I NEEDED IT.
Pls thank your XO’s, they need love too.
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Please send thots and prayers, I lost my favorite red pen and comfy uniform top yesterday.
If you, or someone you love, has been a victim of Dryer violence, you may be eligible for compensation.
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It’s the braid for me. It’s the earrings for me. It’s lookin like a thicc mf unit for meeeee 🤘🏼
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Shot down in the prime of his life because I didn’t give him some treats immediately upon entering the house.
So dramatic.
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THE MA’AM SUPREME HATH SPOKEN
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I can do all things through spite, which strengthens me.
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I have had the same conversation twice today:
If a service member goes to BH saying they need help, only to be told that there’s no available appointments for MONTHS, what is the next course of action?
How do they push the issue to get the treatment they need IMMEDIATELY?
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Going viral on Twitter and getting called a “warmongering feminist” was not on my bingo card today
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Either you date someone in the military who understands the grind.
OR
You date someone not in the military and hope to god they accept the grind.
Someone tell me I'm wrong bc I don't think I am...
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Them: “You need to realize that people in our organization look at your Twitter”
Me, as I post the 2758th photo of my cats for the day: “good.”
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It has been 14 days since I last bit my nails.
Please clap.
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Remembering I have to wake up at 0530 tomorrow just caused me physical pain
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Was supposed to be cleaning, made shepherds pie instead
Whoops
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HI MY NAME IS JULES KEELEY AND WELCOME TO PIMP MY RIDE ✈️
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As a belated 30th bday gift, I would like the Army to add comfy cozy sweats as an authorized pt uniform bc honestly the swishy pants and wind breaker ain’t it during the winter
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I am simply asking for enough time to create a work/life balance.
Please.
PLEASE.
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For those of you who thought I was tall, see attached photo for proof that I am - in fact - not tall.
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Told my commander and 1SG that if one single solitary person says something to me like “your hair looks too long”, I will pull out my gerber and cut off the dead ends in my ponytail to establish dominance.
Plus I already have a hair cut scheduled so 💁🏼♀️
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I’ve been at Fort Carson for two months and I’ve talked to the CG directly three times at this point.
I told him a “back at Bragg” story about throwing up all over Ardennes & then invited him to the S3 girlie pop rotisserie chicken lunch Tuesdays.
Failing upwards, with style.
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Kinda rude that the army gives me the best friends and then ships their asses off to the other side of the country/globe.
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So my PFC cousin’s S1 messed up his leave, got him a negative balance, and is dragging their feet fixing it - now they’re telling him he can’t take HBL leave because he missed the deadline.
Despite its name change, Fort Cavazos remains the worst place I’ve ever heard of.
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I have not known peace or privacy since getting this cat.
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🔊Attention🔊
A group of
@usairforce
guys have started Operation Candy Bomber to help provide basic items 4 ppl trying to escape AFG. Ignore the 2 week shipping, theyre working w Amazon to expedite the process.
@ZeroBlog30
@katebarstool
@UncleChaps
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So like... when are height and weight regs getting updated to reflect the average woman in 2021?
Asking for me.
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@CAFinUS
Met one of your friends today. And by “met”, I mean held hostage in my vehicle bc it ran at my car every time I opened the door 😫
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I just wanna wear a uniform that doesn’t make me look like a sack of potatoes
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Just laying here reflecting on that time my favorite photo of my friends & I was randomly rt’d by a multimillion follower account.
& then random people tried to turn it into political commentary 🥰
& then I got called a warmongering, imperialist, baby killing feminist 🥰 1/
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Just reading the comments on my last (and only) viral tweet… people really are not nice sometimes good lord
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CPT Howie demonstrates proper tactical evasion techniques
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STANDBY FOR YOUR SAFETY BRIEF:
ALCON,
Keeley Battery wishes you all a very Merry Christmas and happy holidays. We hope you have a great time with your family and friends.
Be safe, have a designated driver, & as always, drink water.
V/r,
HOWITZER F. KEELEY
CPT, FA
COMMANDING
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I think this is like 19th grade or something, but FACCC is cool.
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My 15 year old brother, who is considering USMA: “Jules, if you stay in the military 8 more years, we’ll be in the Army together”
Me: 8 more years? I’ll be looking at MAJ 🥴😮💨🥴
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For those who are new here, meet Howitzer. Friends call him Howie, he calls me peasant.
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I am on ✨leave✨and i am going to mute ✨all✨ my work group chats
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Who needs alarm clocks when you can wake up all of the greater Fort Bragg area at one time😌
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It’s my Mom’s birthday.
Say happy birthday to my mom.
She’s on here. She’ll know if you don’t.
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Good afternoon everybody, I snorted into my water when a 2 star randomly appeared in front of me today.
That is all.
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Me, during my CCC gunnery exam, staring at
@cpt_blondie
in horror because I forgot how to compute site upon seeing the exam
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PCC/PCI’s are complete, convoy brief has been given, LETS GO HOME!
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Some days I wanna do the full 20 and be an ArmyGirl™ forever.
Some days I'm just like:
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I would also like to thank my MilTwitter friends, kind Canadians, and fellow cat parents for your support and encouragement today.
Howie and I love you.
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Sometimes I log into this website and immediately regret glancing at whatever people are upset about today.
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Forever wondering why ht/wt is handled by anybody other than a primary care provider
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5 years, 4 ranks, still doing the damn thing. 🤘🏼
Time flies when you’re perpetually running around worried you’re late for a formation or meeting.
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THE FUTURE IS FEMALE LETS GOOOO
I’m honored to endorse CSM Veronica Knapp as the next senior enlisted leader of the
@101stAASLTDIV
.
CSM Knapp is an exceptional NCO, coach, and mentor. She truly embraces what it means to build cohesive teams that are highly trained, disciplined, and mentally/physically fit.
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At this point, I just wanna promote and take command out of spite.
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I’ll never forgive my ancestors for giving me a body that will survive a famine.
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Stand by to receive your
#HowieFrankFriday
Safety Brief:
CPT Howie advises you all to stay safe and have some fun this weekend! Don’t make any illegal, unethical, or immoral decisions that you can’t take back.
V/R,
HOWITZER KEELEY
CPT, FA
COMMANDING
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Can I just put "I survived the year" on my OER support form and call it a day?
I can't think of anything to put on this thing.
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Keeley Battery Commander, CPT Howie Frank, says be safe this weekend & don’t get in trouble.
Consider this your safety brief.
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If your call sign was based off your most embarrassing/silly/etc moment in your military career, what would it be?
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Am I alone in thinking
@ChefBoyardee
should hire me as a brand influencer? 29 years strong as a loyal customer 🙌🏼
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My deepest apologies to my Canadian brethren, but we’re not going to be friends for the duration of the USA/CAN game tomorrow.
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I need new music, send suggestions! Open to listen anything 💁🏼♀️
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As the resident section Ma’am, this is my favorite type of typo
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