Jim Cognito
@JimCognito2016
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Following
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Statuses
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I often change my bio to enrage stupid people. If you're angrily reading this because I said something you didn't like, it worked!
Planet Earth
Joined November 2016
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Breaking news: Met Police to advise women in London to carry loudspeakers with them at night because it’s the only way that 8 police officers will turn up all at once.
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@anitamassey86
I mean, yeah he’s cool but he did just kill that smell child with a laptop.
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Nick Ferrari "I'm not sure I was wrong about Brexit but I am sure this wasn't the Brexit I voted for"
LBC Caller; "Which Brexit did you vote for, Nick?"
Nick: "I refuse to debate Brexit anymore, it's not 2016..."
None of them can ever answer.
@NickFerrariLBC
@LBC
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People who think we should relax lockdown:
• Boris Johnson
• Dominic Cummings
• Matt Hancock
• Toby Young
People who don’t think we should relax lockdown:
• Scientists
• Doctors
• Hospital chiefs
Which group do you trust?
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I'm going to try a little test.
Screw Reform UK.
Nigel Farage is a scumbag.
Richard Tice is a fraud.
Ben Habib wants to see migrants drown.
Lee Anderson is a thick mercenary.
Just a lot of hot air and noise.
They offer nothing to the country.
Limited company scumbags.
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Just took my 93-year old Gran to vote.
As she entered the booth she shouted "Here's to making sure the Tories are destroyed and Putin's friends at Reform are put back in their box".
The whole room burst into applause and cheered us out of the room.
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The average salary in the UK is around £41,000
Only 10% of the country earn more than £66,000
Those earning over £100,000 account for only 2% of the population.
So when
@Jeremy_Hunt
says it's "not a lot of money", he means for the sort of people he knows.
Not the rest of us.
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People of Clacton; if Nigel Farage is elected MP for YOUR area, the first thing HE'LL do is bugger off to America for several weeks to interfere in a foreign election.
You're a means to an end.
He's using you.
No good will come for your area.
Just self publicity for a narcissist
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I’m a chef at a busy restaurant and as of 19th July I’m ordering the kitchen to cease most hygiene precautions.
Screw it.
Fed up of being told what to do by the nanny state.
No hand washing, no food washing, surfaces will get cleaned once a day.
Freedom! 🏴
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I haven't met a single person in real life who's voting for Reform.
Twitter bots don't vote, remember.
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Can't say I've ever been strongly for or against Angela Rayner
But watching how she boils the piss of Conservatives, Reform & right wing twitter weirdos alike
Looking at the attention given to her by weirdos like Dan Hodges & Drunk Guido, I'm 100% Team Rayner! 🇬🇧
Deputy PM! 💪
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Richard Tice just said "there are many great nations not in the ECHR" such as America and Australia.
Does someone want to explain to
@TiceRichard
why America and Australia aren't members of the European Court of Human Rights?
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It saddens me that we live in a country where a disgraced former tabloid editor who posted fake pictures of our troops and was complicit in the large scale hacking of people’s phones can accuse an actual war hero of being unpatriotic and 16,000 + stupid dickheads “like” it.
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The mayor of Birmingham (doesn't exist) is called Richard.
The Mayor of Leeds is called Alan.
The Mayor of Sheffield (doesn't exist) is called Oliver.
The Mayor of Rochdale is called Mike.
No members of the London Assembly are called Laurence Fox.
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Laurence Fox does parenting advice.
Goes as well as you'd expect.
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Why am I paying for
@trussliz
to eat lunch?
Why am I paying for
@DKShrewsbury
to have “lessons” in a language he’s already fluent in?
Why am I paying for
@MattHancock
’s friends to get rich because they know him?
Why am I paying for
@BorisJohnson
to get a shiny new media room?
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Where was Keir Starmer when Deirdre Barlow was falsely imprisoned for fraud in 1998?
As Head of Public Prosecutions, why didn't he intervene?
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✅ Accounts randomly mentioning Trump
✅ Accounts who barely speak English
✅ Account replies that make no sense
✅ Accounts with less than 20 followers
✅ New accounts who only discuss Reform
✅ Some dim people asking what the text was
Elon is pushing Reform.
*Lots* of bots.
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So, the results of yesterday's test.
Mentioning not only the limited company name but also the names of some of the high-profile people within it resulted in the tweet being seen by over 270,000 people.
The responses were from:
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The hypocrisy of
@LeeAndersonMP_
"MPs shouldn't have second jobs paying £100,000"
-Anderson accepts second job paying £100,000
"Defecting MPs should immediately call by-elections"
-Anderson defects, refuses to call by-election
You can tell the measure of a man by his actions
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So,
@Nigel_Farage
's very public tantrum over the last couple of weeks has cost the tax payer around £320 million and has made his GB News owning mates multiple millions of £'s and we're being asked to believe this is unconnected?
And that's he's doing it for you and I?
Garbage.
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I've seen that many poor takes and downright bizarre behaviour since the sad death of
#QueenElizabeth
that I'm starting a thread of them.
Feel free to add your own.
1. The attention seeker posting a video of himself placing some flowers.
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Quick overview of the
@sajidjavid
speech on Covid:
“We’re aware that Covid cases are currently at 40k per day and deaths over 100 per day and we think cases could hit 100k per day.
We’ve decided to do absolutely nothing whatsoever about it.
Best of luck”.
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Prince Harry behaved immaculately throughout the coronation and put his father ahead of his family.
The vile right wing tabloid scum STILL went after both him and his wife.
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As Dan Wootton is in the news at the moment, asking for sympathy and demanding apologies for having stories written about him that invaded his privacy, just thought I'd publish the full list of people Dan has apologised to for ruining their lives..
The end.
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Not a single drink or meal of any MP should be subsidised while a member of the public freezes over winter.
Pay for your food. By your own drink.
Use the large salary so many of you don't earn.
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The Conservatives have managed to win a by-election by campaigning against something that was their idea and they legislated forcing councils to implement.
Outstanding dishonesty.
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This front page from The Sun suggested that the blood in Caroline Flack's bedroom was her boyfriend's when in fact it was her own from self-harm.
Her boyfriend blamed Dan Wootton for her death.
Dan Wootton got a restraining order out against him in response.
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I think everyone needs to take lessons from how the students yesterday dealt with GB News and Suella Bravermann.
Just complete ignore them.
Don't give them their gotcha.
Completely ignore.
They don't know how to deal with it, it embarrasses them, ruins their story.
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I see Toby Young is getting very angry at people making terrible accusations about Toby Young simply by accurately repeating things that Toby Young has said.
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If Tommy Robinson is fleeing the United Kingdom due to fears for his and his familiy’s safety, why has he not gone straight to the nearest safe country he could?
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@Telegraph
@RossjournoClark
Imagine living in this country and describing a country that has dealt with their Covid crisis a million times better than us as having “a disastrous Covid policy”.
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@IsabelOakeshott
What a moral vacuum you are.
Just because you’re happy with old rich men putting their hands on you without invitation doesn’t mean other women should have to be.
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It’s worth remembering that whilst Keir Starmer prosecuted people with IRA sympathies, Boris Johnson puts them in the House of Lords instead
#PMQs
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@GaryLineker
I’ve yet to see
@MattHancock
urge people like Richard Branson or Phillip Green step up.
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Have *any* MP explained why they’ve voted to allow raw sewage to dumped into the sea?
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The new measure of the success of Brexit from this plastic patsy is now “Did anyone starve to death?”
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Paul Embery is currently giving Gary Lineker shit for blocking him as he says he's a big fan of free speech and he's a hypocrite for blocking him.
I'd love to debate this with Paul Embery.
But I can't.
Because he blocked me.
For disagreeing with him.
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Except, Dan, she doesn't "need" to do anything of the sort, or anything you say she "needs" to do.
At all.
Does she?
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There's a lot of "rumours" that Susan Hall has beaten Sadiq Khan in the London mayoral election.
The conspiracy theorist in my suggests this is because when Sadiq Khan wins, they're going to blame it on "postal votes" and "stolen election" and all kinds of Donald Trump tactics.
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I’m sorry but what bullshit.
Hijacking what was a great show of solidarity for our under appreciated and under staffed NHS and trying to turn it into a show of support for the guy who sat in a government failing them for a decade is crass and pathetic.
So, no.
#ClapForBoris
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John Redwood, Nadine Dorries, Peter Bone, Andrea Jenkins, Andrew Davies, Esther McVey, Jacob Rees-Mogg, Kate Hoey
Has there EVER been a time when this country has been represented by more stupid, more deceitful, more dishonest & truly terrible MPs?
It’s actually depressing
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Your periodic reminder that
@reformparty_uk
is registered as a limited company not a political party
It has 3 Directors & a Secretary
@Nigel_Farage
is one
@TiceRichard
is another
They can make profit, these people will take dividends.
£7 mil was taken in donations last time
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"When you start making comparisons with 1930's Germany, you've lost the argument"
This you,
@Bren4Bassetlaw
you utter hypocrite?
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We’ll look back in future years with utter disbelief that this person was ever allowed to be Culture Secretary of a once serious country.
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I’ve really no idea why people don’t trust Isabel Oakeshott
If she says she’s never met Nigel Farage and has certainly never been in a car with him, who are we not to believe her?
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BREAKING NEWS: Greater Manchester police announce they are reopening a criminal investigation into Labour Deputy Leader Angela Rayner as she's accused of failing to declare living rent free inside the cramped mind of Dan Hodges for 39 days.
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Dear
@RishiSunak
,
This is what happens when supermarkets ask you to pay for your weekly shopping and you ask them to "hold their nerve".
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In light of Nadine Dorries clearly being pissed as a fart during her meeting interviews, in ask again…
Why do we, as tax payers, subsidise the drinks of MPs in the House of Commons?
End this culture. Now.
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Today looks like being a very bad day to be Arron Banks.
Or anyone who has been cosying up to Arron Banks in private.
Hey Guido 👋
Hey Julia 👋
Hey Harry 👋
Hope it was worth it.
#arronbanksleaks
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We also don’t tell you exactly what we put in the food as we don’t think you should be able to blame a particular ingredient if you have an allergy.
We’re practising herb immunity.
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Do you remember a time when the BBC didn’t have to “fact check” speeches made by the Prime Minister?
We’ve never had one so dishonest, and such a compulsive liar as this one.
General election 2019: Boris Johnson's speech fact-checked
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Can anyone else help me out.
This person says “When we take back control our waters we can rejuvenate”.
Then asks what part of that i don’t understand.
Well, I don’t understand any of it.
Does anyone else?
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@IsabelOakeshott
Their reputations are only “shattered” to the kinds of utter low lives that they really shouldn’t care about anyway.
The decent people are pleased they managed to escape you.
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Could someone explain what serial form fouler Darren Grimes means by this if he’s not saying what I immediately assumed he was saying?
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Sometimes a picture sums up everything that’s wrong with modern day politics
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Someone else a little nervous by the Laurence Fox court results yesterday?
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I long for a serious government filled with serious people.
Not those who joke about raping their wives.
Not those who put their obsession with Carol Vorderman over their jobs.
Not those who put their jobs with GB News over their job as MP.
Serious human beings.
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@Joey7Barton
I bet you this fella didn't storm the beach at Normandy thinking "we need to stop women having careers by tweeting a lot".
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I'm loving the fact that Susan Hall based her entire campaign on lying about ULEZ and the majority of London didn't give a shit about ULEZ 😂
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Without listening to the video or knowing who he is or what he’s talking about, you know exactly how he voted in the referendum, don’t you?
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Priti Patel was his 4th female boss....
These people... 🙄
I really think this Priti Patel thing reeks of sexism. My suspicion is that Sir Philip Rutman couldn’t handle that a woman was his boss.
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The right wing media are more outraged about Megan and Harry taking a step back from public life than they were about Prince Andrew’s *actual involvement* with child sex traffickers.
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And then they came for Katie Hopkins.
And I said nothing.
Because she’s a miserable, hateful, nasty, spiteful excuse for a human being and the world is a better place without her voice in it.
(She’s also a twat).
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#bbcqt
should really be correcting the misinformed woman who blamed the recent flooding on “the EU stopping dredging the rivers”.
Why not fact check her on the spot? Or not include her nonsense.
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Dear
@grantshapps
,
When can we expect the cheque for the millions given to Michelle Mone?
Yours,
A disgusted public who hates you.
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It's high time we started to crack down on universities providing poor quality MPs.
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Can’t believe Tommy Robinson has had his Facebook account banned on the very day he definitely would gone absolutely mental at the white child sex offenders in the Catholic Church.
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No one in this country should find it acceptable that
@BorisJohnson
’s
@Conservatives
government are boycotting news shows like
@BBCNewsnight
@GMB
and
@Channel4News
purely because they ask them difficult questions they don’t like.
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Matt Le Tissier thinks the government controlled the weather to make it sunny during Covid.
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That entire Nigel Farage bank account story in full.
Nigel hasn't got enough money for a Coutts bank account.
Nigel thinks he's too good for a regular person NatWest bank account.
That's it.
The end.
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Part of me thinks that when this is all over, we’ll be a better, kinder, nicer society.
Then I remember there are small minded, petty, hateful, thick people like Allison Pearson in the world and I think maybe not.
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I am heartbroken & outraged to inform you that Reform UK have DESECRATED OUR FLAG!
On the left is our glorious Union Jack in all its glory.
On the right, the AMENDED Reform UK version.
They've changed the colour to match their marketing.
Tice, Anderson; explain yourselves.
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@Patrick96333869
@jeffarooni
@MarkDice
@jabinbotsford
@realDonaldTrump
I think he was born in New York.
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If I wanted to know “the truth” about something, you can be damn sure I wouldn’t be asking Dan Hodges.
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@IsabelOakeshott
Look how enthusiastic certain people are to allow other people to take the kind of risks they’re too gutless to take themselves.
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If only Laurence Fox possessed the ability of self-awareness
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Dear
@BenHouchen
and
@SimonClarkeMP
,
Turns out that Private Eye kept the receipts.
Unlucky, lads.
@BenHouchen
You did sell it for £100. Here's the Land Registry proof. We also reported the income that the public sector keeps (worth about 18% of what 90%-private-owned Teesworks Ltd gets). Maybe your press office will now answer questions (having refused to before and since the piece).
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Dear GB News types,
Absolutely no-one is obliged to speak to you.
At any point.
Yours,
Civilised society.
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A quick reminder of the regard in which
@Conservatives
treat their voters.
This is the list of complaints made against Peter Bone that were upheld, including exposing himself to his aide.
Their response? Choose his girlfriend to run for his seat.
This is who they are.
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No idea what could have caused the UK economy to shrink for the first time 7 years.
Any clues?
UK economy shrinks for the first time since 2012
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It’s weird, I haven’t seen a single person slagging off the schoolchildren for protesting climate change that isn’t a complete and total dickhead.
Is that a coincidence?
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I've managed to piss of Anti-vaxxers, Covid conspiracy theorists and Tommy Robinson fans all in one day.
And it's only 3:30pm.
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Right wingers always spend the weekend slagging off Glastonbury every year
Why not be a bit more proactive & organise your own?
You could have Right Said Fred, the guy from the Corrs, that guy from UB40
Um, okay, maybe not a festival, maybe a solid hour in a working man's club
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@christopherhope
@ChoppersPodcast
Nothing gives dying, unemployed Britons a morale boost like a huge expensive boat for rich people.
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BREAKING NEWS:
Foreign Secretary
@DominicRaab
asked to report to WestMinster to meet Boris Johnson.
Raab said he was “surprised to learn where WestMinster was and how important it was to government”.
He’s now gone on holiday.
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@pressgazette
@EditorsUK
“The UK media is not bigoted”
-Claim made today by the hugely bigoted UK media
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Laurence Fox to a young copper:
"Don't talk to me like you're my boss 'cos you 'ain't!"
Such divorced Dad energy.
Such an immature little child.
Such a loser.
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MISSING PRESUMED COWARD.
If you see this man, tell him not to bother returning, we’re good.
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This post has been seen by approaching 500k people.
In it, a self-appointed Director of a Political Company trying to win/buy an election is making direct threats against the Deputy Chairman (no sniggering at the back) of a political rival
Blackmail
@ElectoralCommUK
- just FYI
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So,
@DominicRaab
has seen the postal votes and is talking in public about it, in contravention of electoral law then?
What’s going to be done about this?
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