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@JarrodHendricks

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632
Following
737
Media
492
Statuses
8,529

I am fortune’s fool | former PA guy | @crystalcasinodc | he/him

Kent Island | Washington, DC
Joined September 2011
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@JarrodHendricks
The Djungelskog
3 years
Thinking about how Alec Baldwin left GW after losing the SA presidential election like some ostracized Athenian politician
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@JarrodHendricks
The Djungelskog
11 months
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@JarrodHendricks
The Djungelskog
8 months
@LocalSoundwave @JustinWhang “You have you too dig out–” “No I don’t” *deactivates contraption*
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@JarrodHendricks
The Djungelskog
4 months
Hey @DDOTDC , can you guys move this? ate it last night bc I wasn’t expecting a concrete barrier in the bike lane at 11pm last night. 200 block of Pennsylvania Ave SE
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@JarrodHendricks
The Djungelskog
6 months
@TheMonkeyJungle Bolt and Phelps chasing greatness helped with that for sure
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@JarrodHendricks
The Djungelskog
4 months
@pyroxiumn @twtrlssanna harlem shake was 2013 what’re you talking about
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@JarrodHendricks
The Djungelskog
2 years
@hausofdecline it used to be a hot dog stand, and apparently during the Cold War, Soviet satellites closely watched it thinking it was some type of bunker bc large groups of military brass would go there at the same time every day,
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@JarrodHendricks
The Djungelskog
3 years
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@JarrodHendricks
The Djungelskog
2 years
For some perspective, her dad won in 1987 with a 48.20
@kylesockwell
Kyle Sockwell
2 years
48.74 FOR KATHERINE BERKOFF!!!!!!! WHATTTTT JUST HAPPENEDDDDDDD???!!!!! 🥶🥶🥶 THE FASTEST IN HISTORY!!!
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@JarrodHendricks
The Djungelskog
3 months
@hologramvin some places will do this and then others will do the opposite by hiring people between 22-26 and hope they move on/go to grad or law school but once they started to outlive their usefulness/need insurance they’ll phase them out rather than promote them
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@JarrodHendricks
The Djungelskog
3 years
We used to be a country. A proper country.
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@JarrodHendricks
The Djungelskog
2 years
. @WashProbs when there’s no shelter at the bus stop and the bus is late
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@JarrodHendricks
The Djungelskog
5 years
Between Millennials and Gen Z there is the “Coming Soon on Video & DVD” generation
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@JarrodHendricks
The Djungelskog
7 months
no coffee for me today, thanks. I already had my Panera creamy tomato soup
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@JarrodHendricks
The Djungelskog
2 years
asking a gw person if they know someone else from gw is either “I’ve never seen this person in my life” or “we were actually freshman year roommates and shared many intimate moments together”
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@JarrodHendricks
The Djungelskog
1 year
@whatpreferences nothing screams “comfortable” to me more than sitting in LA traffic
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@JarrodHendricks
The Djungelskog
5 years
Demi and Joe Jonas in Camp Rock walked so Lady Gaga and Bradley Cooper could run
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@JarrodHendricks
The Djungelskog
6 years
A girl and I reached for the same creamer at Starbucks... unfortunately she didn’t look at me and my life didn’t turn into a witty millennial romantic comedy
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@JarrodHendricks
The Djungelskog
9 years
@SwimWithIssues when your friend has a lot of extra name caps http://t.co/2VtHe1v4vH
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@JarrodHendricks
The Djungelskog
5 years
No one: The DC Metro: THIS IS A 7000 SERIES TRAIN
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@JarrodHendricks
The Djungelskog
5 years
Do we have a quiz in APUSH tomorrow
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@JarrodHendricks
The Djungelskog
3 years
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@JarrodHendricks
The Djungelskog
3 years
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@JarrodHendricks
The Djungelskog
5 years
GW freshmen at dorm parties:
@iamcardib
Cardi B
5 years
I think I want to be a politician.I really love government even tho I don’t agree with Goverment
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@JarrodHendricks
The Djungelskog
5 years
INSANELY close 200 free race at @atlantic10 champs 🔥 @swimswamnews
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@JarrodHendricks
The Djungelskog
4 years
finnegan biden im sorry we kicked you out of our frat house in 2017 but if you read this im free on Thursday night and would like to hang out. Please respond to this and then hang out with me on Thursday night when I’m free.
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@JarrodHendricks
The Djungelskog
6 years
High school wasn’t the best, but at least we didn’t have the same bulldog mascot as 93% of schools in the country
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@JarrodHendricks
The Djungelskog
4 years
Finally, a president with Catholic guilt again
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@JarrodHendricks
The Djungelskog
3 years
Don’t mind me, just punching the air
@gwhatchet
The GW Hatchet
3 years
BREAKING: GW will open three all-you-can-eat dining halls in fall 2022 as part of a drastic overhaul of the University’s dining system
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@JarrodHendricks
The Djungelskog
4 years
@huntychan My friend when I sent this to him
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@JarrodHendricks
The Djungelskog
4 years
The cashier at Trader Joe’s 🥰
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@JarrodHendricks
The Djungelskog
4 years
My gf tried to describe the feeling girls get when they shave their legs and get into bed, forgetting that I shaved my legs for swimming from 13 to 21
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@JarrodHendricks
The Djungelskog
4 years
Fellas, is it gay to revel in the beauty and majesty of nature?
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@JarrodHendricks
The Djungelskog
4 years
today i found out i actually graduated from gw this year
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@JarrodHendricks
The Djungelskog
2 years
As a fellow swimmer who’s placed 17th at a championship, I’d offer the same advice I told myself: should’ve swam faster.
@kylesockwell
Kyle Sockwell
2 years
Virginia Tech swimmer Reka Gyorgy has released a full statement on the NCAA allowing Lia Thomas to compete in the 500 freestyle. She was 17th in the event. “Every event that transgender athletes participated in was one spot taken away from biological females throughout the meet”
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@JarrodHendricks
The Djungelskog
2 years
@skatie420 literally saw this an hour ago
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@JarrodHendricks
The Djungelskog
1 year
@WashProbs the better option was right there
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@JarrodHendricks
The Djungelskog
4 years
@jasminericegirl Jasmine if you read this im free on Thursday night and would like to hang out. Please respond to this and then hang out with me on Thursday night when I’m free.
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@JarrodHendricks
The Djungelskog
2 years
fellas, no woman on a dating app wants to see the fish you caught they wanna see your in-unit washer/dryer
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@JarrodHendricks
The Djungelskog
6 months
lowkey the best thing you can do in this weather is sit outside with a little treat for 15-20 minutes
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@JarrodHendricks
The Djungelskog
6 years
todays tea: ) ) ) ) ( ) ) _(___(____)____(___(__ \ / _ \ Beto would / | \ be a Delt /____| \ at GW / \____________/
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@JarrodHendricks
The Djungelskog
5 years
Not to get political, but I sometimes wish it was morally acceptable to post song lyrics for no reason on social media again
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@JarrodHendricks
The Djungelskog
10 months
@M1das_OW2 “this is Blur. they woo-hoo when they feel heavy metal.”
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@JarrodHendricks
The Djungelskog
2 years
girl I ghosted 5 years ago just hard launched her bf
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@JarrodHendricks
The Djungelskog
9 months
I can’t believe a guy I roomed with on Cancun spring break may become a whole congressman lmao
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@JarrodHendricks
The Djungelskog
3 years
Don’t as a woman her age Don’t ask a man his salary Don’t ask a GW student why their last name is the same as a Cold War era dictator
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@JarrodHendricks
The Djungelskog
5 years
My friend said that the Mueller Report was “dropping” today like it’s the hottest new album or something
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@JarrodHendricks
The Djungelskog
4 years
A lot of ppl weren’t in foggy bottom for the last inauguration and it shows
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@JarrodHendricks
The Djungelskog
5 years
Happy #Pride2019 my gf made me a bi flag bracelet 🥺
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@JarrodHendricks
The Djungelskog
5 years
When you see a cute dog but it’s a service dog doing it’s job
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@JarrodHendricks
The Djungelskog
3 years
Need something fun to do while you’re waiting for the metro? Ride the elevator until your train comes! I got up to 33 times at Georgia Ave-Petworth last night
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@JarrodHendricks
The Djungelskog
3 years
*in midsummer* “let’s walk around Georgetown!”
@WashProbs
Washingtonian Problems
3 years
Caption this (DC Edition)
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@JarrodHendricks
The Djungelskog
5 years
I finally did it. When a customer thanked me I combined “you’re welcome” and “no problem” and said “your problem” 😐
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@JarrodHendricks
The Djungelskog
4 years
Trying to get back to your friends at Madhatter after getting them $1 Millers
@WashProbs
Washingtonian Problems
4 years
Caption this (DC Edition)
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@JarrodHendricks
The Djungelskog
2 years
in case anyone was wondering
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@JarrodHendricks
The Djungelskog
3 years
@rickyazze @alissacaliente It’s the passive voice instead of like this
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@JarrodHendricks
The Djungelskog
2 years
guy I talked with on hinge two years ago just eloped
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@JarrodHendricks
The Djungelskog
4 years
People told me to go do peace corps and I didn’t; ppl told me to get a 401k and I didn’t. I win again!!!!
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@JarrodHendricks
The Djungelskog
6 years
I dislike sports like football and baseball bc there’s always a winner and a loser. I like swimming and track bc there’s one winner and many losers.
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@JarrodHendricks
The Djungelskog
5 years
This looks like Smash Bro’s
@KateBennett_DC
Kate Bennett
5 years
Acosta becomes the 13th Cabinet member to depart the Trump administration. By this time in the Obama admin, none had left. In the George W. Bush admin at this point, one had departed.
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@JarrodHendricks
The Djungelskog
4 years
Never forget what they took from you* *a pyramid design for the Lincoln Memorial
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@JarrodHendricks
The Djungelskog
6 years
The only WH I trust
@WaffleHouseNews
Waffle House News
6 years
The ⁦ @WaffleHouse ⁩ Storm Center is activated and monitoring #Florence . Plan ahead and be safe.
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@JarrodHendricks
The Djungelskog
11 months
@LegoRacers2 the place his dad’s from sounds pretty cool tbh
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@JarrodHendricks
The Djungelskog
4 years
Made this for me and my one achievement
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@JarrodHendricks
The Djungelskog
3 years
I can’t believe we used to actively pay $1.29 for one (1) song
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@JarrodHendricks
The Djungelskog
2 years
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@JarrodHendricks
The Djungelskog
4 years
there goes the last great american dynasty
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@JarrodHendricks
The Djungelskog
3 years
This was basically wallpaper in Thurston
@coolgirl0nline
coolgirlonline
3 years
if her place looks like this she’s going to unhinge her jaw and consume u whole
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@JarrodHendricks
The Djungelskog
5 years
dr: due to complications with the surgery we had to remove a portion of your colon me; okay
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@JarrodHendricks
The Djungelskog
3 years
Billy Joel the world singing about in March 1956 2021 🤝 “TROUBLE IN THE SUEZ”
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@JarrodHendricks
The Djungelskog
5 years
*sorority girl posts an Instagram pic with her and her boyfriend* Her little: Mom and Dad!!!
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@JarrodHendricks
The Djungelskog
4 years
Happy Father’s Day to all the single moms out there 🥳
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@JarrodHendricks
The Djungelskog
5 years
The Lion, the Witch, & the Wardrobe
@fmason3
😊✌🏾
5 years
What are the three branches of government? (Wrong answers only.)
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@JarrodHendricks
The Djungelskog
4 years
About to post on LinkedIn “like for a tbh comment for a rate”
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@JarrodHendricks
The Djungelskog
4 years
Did some self care today by leaving a brunch group after learning we weren’t doing bottomless 😌
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@JarrodHendricks
The Djungelskog
4 years
Guys, please don’t hurt my city 😓 *posts pic of multinational banking conglomerate boarded up*
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@JarrodHendricks
The Djungelskog
6 years
I had the audacity to get a mans number last night but not his name
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@JarrodHendricks
The Djungelskog
4 years
What’s the German word for wanting to show your friend a tweet but then seeing they already liked it
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@JarrodHendricks
The Djungelskog
2 years
3 years ago today I graduated college with a degree in international affairs and today I’d like to humbly announce that I have tested positive for my second case of covid!
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@JarrodHendricks
The Djungelskog
2 years
going to the phoebe bridgers concert tonight and there is not a zero percent chance that a 14yo girl will break my foot by stepping on it with her docs
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@JarrodHendricks
The Djungelskog
4 years
All the time man
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@JarrodHendricks
The Djungelskog
5 years
Misplaced my headphones now I’m stuck with my own thoughts
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@JarrodHendricks
The Djungelskog
5 years
My best purchase in high school was not buying a letterman jacket
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@JarrodHendricks
The Djungelskog
5 years
Me: *tries to wash spoon” Spoon:
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@JarrodHendricks
The Djungelskog
5 years
What do I have to do to get famous on twitter? I have quality content and have only accidentally stolen 2 tweets
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@JarrodHendricks
The Djungelskog
4 years
Me: hmm, I don’t think I’ll ever really want kids. *sees a little boy with teeny tiny mittens on* Me: you make a convincing argument.
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@JarrodHendricks
The Djungelskog
5 years
Girls nowadays being named Reagan and Carter implies that in 15 years or so there’s gonna be girls named Obama and Bush
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@JarrodHendricks
The Djungelskog
4 years
Kinda want to make something of myself, kinda want to leave my life and distill whisky on a remote Scottish island 🧐
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@JarrodHendricks
The Djungelskog
6 years
me: he’s okay looking also me: ⚪️───────────── 0:01 -4:09 Mystery of Love - Sufjan Stevens ◄◄⠀▐▐ ⠀►► 🔈───────────⚪️🔊
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@JarrodHendricks
The Djungelskog
4 years
you’re the only friend I need (you’re the only friend I need)
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@JarrodHendricks
The Djungelskog
2 years
I love the ability to like stories on instagram it’s nice to engage with someone without having to be like 😮 😍 😂 🔥 💯
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@JarrodHendricks
The Djungelskog
5 years
My prediction for the Super Bowl? Both teams have fun out there :-)
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@JarrodHendricks
The Djungelskog
5 years
Just found out that journalists don’t use the Oxford comma
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@JarrodHendricks
The Djungelskog
3 years
Beefsteakcore
the dance but make it cuter
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@JarrodHendricks
The Djungelskog
2 years
me checking my friends’ locations to theorize why they’re not responding to me
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@JarrodHendricks
The Djungelskog
3 years
I work a block away from gw so sometimes I order from gelbucks to feel like I’m a part of something bigger than myself again
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@JarrodHendricks
The Djungelskog
4 years
To know he went to Nazareth really is something too
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@JarrodHendricks
The Djungelskog
4 years
Going to Equinox with wire headphones wish me luck
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@JarrodHendricks
The Djungelskog
5 years
Nurse: Your blood pressure is 120 over 66. Me, medically illiterate: Ah yes, great.
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