The Djungelskog
@JarrodHendricks
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I am fortune’s fool | former PA guy | @crystalcasinodc | he/him
Kent Island | Washington, DC
Joined September 2011
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Pinned Tweet
Thinking about how Alec Baldwin left GW after losing the SA presidential election like some ostracized Athenian politician
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@LocalSoundwave
@JustinWhang
“You have you too dig out–”
“No I don’t” *deactivates contraption*
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Hey
@DDOTDC
, can you guys move this? ate it last night bc I wasn’t expecting a concrete barrier in the bike lane at 11pm last night.
200 block of Pennsylvania Ave SE
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@hausofdecline
it used to be a hot dog stand, and apparently during the Cold War, Soviet satellites closely watched it thinking it was some type of bunker bc large groups of military brass would go there at the same time every day,
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For some perspective, her dad won in 1987 with a 48.20
48.74 FOR KATHERINE BERKOFF!!!!!!!
WHATTTTT JUST HAPPENEDDDDDDD???!!!!! 🥶🥶🥶 THE FASTEST IN HISTORY!!!
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@hologramvin
some places will do this and then others will do the opposite by hiring people between 22-26 and hope they move on/go to grad or law school but once they started to outlive their usefulness/need insurance they’ll phase them out rather than promote them
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Between Millennials and Gen Z there is the “Coming Soon on Video & DVD” generation
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no coffee for me today, thanks. I already had my Panera creamy tomato soup
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asking a gw person if they know someone else from gw is either “I’ve never seen this person in my life” or “we were actually freshman year roommates and shared many intimate moments together”
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Demi and Joe Jonas in Camp Rock walked so Lady Gaga and Bradley Cooper could run
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A girl and I reached for the same creamer at Starbucks... unfortunately she didn’t look at me and my life didn’t turn into a witty millennial romantic comedy
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GW freshmen at dorm parties:
I think I want to be a politician.I really love government even tho I don’t agree with Goverment
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finnegan biden im sorry we kicked you out of our frat house in 2017 but if you read this im free on Thursday night and would like to hang out. Please respond to this and then hang out with me on Thursday night when I’m free.
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High school wasn’t the best, but at least we didn’t have the same bulldog mascot as 93% of schools in the country
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Don’t mind me, just punching the air
BREAKING: GW will open three all-you-can-eat dining halls in fall 2022 as part of a drastic overhaul of the University’s dining system
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My gf tried to describe the feeling girls get when they shave their legs and get into bed, forgetting that I shaved my legs for swimming from 13 to 21
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Fellas, is it gay to revel in the beauty and majesty of nature?
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today i found out i actually graduated from gw this year
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As a fellow swimmer who’s placed 17th at a championship, I’d offer the same advice I told myself:
should’ve swam faster.
Virginia Tech swimmer Reka Gyorgy has released a full statement on the NCAA allowing Lia Thomas to compete in the 500 freestyle. She was 17th in the event.
“Every event that transgender athletes participated in was one spot taken away from biological females throughout the meet”
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@jasminericegirl
Jasmine if you read this im free on Thursday night and would like to hang out. Please respond to this and then hang out with me on Thursday night when I’m free.
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fellas, no woman on a dating app wants to see the fish you caught they wanna see your in-unit washer/dryer
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lowkey the best thing you can do in this weather is sit outside with a little treat for 15-20 minutes
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todays tea:
) ) )
) ( ) )
_(___(____)____(___(__
\ / _
\ Beto would / |
\ be a Delt /____|
\ at GW /
\____________/
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Not to get political, but I sometimes wish it was morally acceptable to post song lyrics for no reason on social media again
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girl I ghosted 5 years ago just hard launched her bf
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I can’t believe a guy I roomed with on Cancun spring break may become a whole congressman lmao
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Don’t as a woman her age
Don’t ask a man his salary
Don’t ask a GW student why their last name is the same as a Cold War era dictator
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My friend said that the Mueller Report was “dropping” today like it’s the hottest new album or something
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A lot of ppl weren’t in foggy bottom for the last inauguration and it shows
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When you see a cute dog but it’s a service dog doing it’s job
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Need something fun to do while you’re waiting for the metro? Ride the elevator until your train comes! I got up to 33 times at Georgia Ave-Petworth last night
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*in midsummer* “let’s walk around Georgetown!”
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I finally did it. When a customer thanked me I combined “you’re welcome” and “no problem” and said “your problem” 😐
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Trying to get back to your friends at Madhatter after getting them $1 Millers
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guy I talked with on hinge two years ago just eloped
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People told me to go do peace corps and I didn’t; ppl told me to get a 401k and I didn’t. I win again!!!!
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I dislike sports like football and baseball bc there’s always a winner and a loser.
I like swimming and track bc there’s one winner and many losers.
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This looks like Smash Bro’s
Acosta becomes the 13th Cabinet member to depart the Trump administration. By this time in the Obama admin, none had left. In the George W. Bush admin at this point, one had departed.
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Never forget what they took from you*
*a pyramid design for the Lincoln Memorial
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The only WH I trust
The
@WaffleHouse
Storm Center is activated and monitoring
#Florence
. Plan ahead and be safe.
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I can’t believe we used to actively pay $1.29 for one (1) song
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This was basically wallpaper in Thurston
if her place looks like this she’s going to unhinge her jaw and consume u whole
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dr: due to complications with the surgery we had to remove a portion of your colon
me; okay
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Billy Joel the world
singing about in March
1956 2021
🤝
“TROUBLE IN THE SUEZ”
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*sorority girl posts an Instagram pic with her and her boyfriend*
Her little: Mom and Dad!!!
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Happy Father’s Day to all the single moms out there 🥳
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The Lion, the Witch, & the Wardrobe
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About to post on LinkedIn “like for a tbh comment for a rate”
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Did some self care today by leaving a brunch group after learning we weren’t doing bottomless 😌
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Guys, please don’t hurt my city 😓 *posts pic of multinational banking conglomerate boarded up*
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I had the audacity to get a mans number last night but not his name
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What’s the German word for wanting to show your friend a tweet but then seeing they already liked it
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3 years ago today I graduated college with a degree in international affairs and today I’d like to humbly announce that I have tested positive for my second case of covid!
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going to the phoebe bridgers concert tonight and there is not a zero percent chance that a 14yo girl will break my foot by stepping on it with her docs
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Misplaced my headphones now I’m stuck with my own thoughts
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My best purchase in high school was not buying a letterman jacket
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What do I have to do to get famous on twitter? I have quality content and have only accidentally stolen 2 tweets
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Me: hmm, I don’t think I’ll ever really want kids.
*sees a little boy with teeny tiny mittens on*
Me: you make a convincing argument.
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Girls nowadays being named Reagan and Carter implies that in 15 years or so there’s gonna be girls named Obama and Bush
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Kinda want to make something of myself, kinda want to leave my life and distill whisky on a remote Scottish island 🧐
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me: he’s okay looking
also me:
⚪️─────────────
0:01 -4:09
Mystery of Love -
Sufjan Stevens
◄◄⠀▐▐ ⠀►►
🔈───────────⚪️🔊
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you’re the only friend I need (you’re the only friend I need)
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I love the ability to like stories on instagram it’s nice to engage with someone without having to be like 😮 😍 😂 🔥 💯
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My prediction for the Super Bowl? Both teams have fun out there :-)
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Just found out that journalists don’t use the Oxford comma
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Beefsteakcore
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me checking my friends’ locations to theorize why they’re not responding to me
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I work a block away from gw so sometimes I order from gelbucks to feel like I’m a part of something bigger than myself again
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Nurse: Your blood pressure is 120 over 66.
Me, medically illiterate: Ah yes, great.
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