J
@JBitature
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The CIA is too funny
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Travis Scott cheated on a beautiful billionaire who mothered his child. Y’all gotta stop thinking cheating has anything to do with the woman
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Nah that’s the old syllabus, these days we say “I can’t answer that bc having reasons makes it conditional”
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Imagine what 3 can do
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This is how Rey Mysterio used to throw guys on the ropes for the 619. The love is real, but when I propose I expect tears not royal rumble.
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Finding another nigga bumping your shirt at the bar which you left at a babes crib is nuts
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You aren’t as nice as you think you are
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When you leave Uganda you start to realize that other people drink to have fun and Ugandans drink to die
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I’d vote him as class monitor if we were in P4 blue together. Not president
Singer Bobi Wine says he will run for Uganda president in 2021
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This slapped different when you dented the top with your incisors
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Had a shortlist of 6 babes I’m marrying in 2024, 2 asked for money on the first date, 1 got married recently, 1 said serie instead of series and ive seen one at Nyege. 1 left and shes on Lyca
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You need to redefine rich if Moet and Belaire is your metric
Look at the money 💰 in this picture no Moët,Belaire.The goal is too be rich not look rich
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I lost marks in geography because I colored a lake yellow
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Girls love to complain about bruises on their bodies after a night out as if they weren’t twerking under the table
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Send him that reverse whine video that’s in “Recently deleted” even if your waist is like a locked steering wheel. If you can’t dance for him, at least you can make him laugh
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Beautiful girls get cheated on the most because they always date the man with the highest value. The man with the highest value has the most options. And a man is only as faithful as his options.
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You’re losing sleep over a girl who is triple texting a nigga with a bicep vein. Focus on yourself
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In Ug you always have to move like the aggressor, if you’re on a boda, he has to think you’re a thief, if youre in an uber the driver has to feel a bit unsafe, if you think shit is sweet out here you’re done. The higher you rise financially the more you can relax but for now..
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Honey and hot water we make dawa tea
What mixer are we using for that Lemon & Ginger Ug?😂😂
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Never get frozen in time. 24 years old but your mind functions at the same level it did in S2 3rd term “hols”. Your mates are focused on making moves to make sure their grandchildren never have to work but to you as you, what matters is chilling with “cool people”. You’re mad.
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The ratio was crazy but you first had to ask her if she knows P-square
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...in your womb for 9 months
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Being able to help someone who’s helped you in the past is very gratifying
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Asked my mum where to put my nephews diaper and she told me under her pillow
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When I say “welcome back” instead of “well be back”
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Baddies only like you at 0 or 100. Not in between. Will not explain
But why do baddies usually funa you when you’re in the trenches? 😂
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It’s a very admirable skill to have a versatile personality. Having a strong defined character is important but the ability to vibe with people of all classes, from boda guys to presidents and make both of them feel like you’re one of them is importanter
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Sent some girl a fire emoji 🔥 on sc and she replied with 🌬. Did this bitch blow out my fire. Need to update the syllabus
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I’m vs Am
What’s the most fierce rivalry we have in Uganda?
In any field…
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There’s a way Ugandans talk that kills me. It’s not even the accent. It’s the vim and the intent behind the words. Just got out of a cab in tears, the driver was Ugandan and he was like me I don’t joke, I came to Dubai impregnated a Fillipino and started my life, I’m no nonsense
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Lmao who are they going to sell this to?Fred Flinstone?
Made In Kenya cars, BJ-50. They costs only KShs450,000 ($4,505.42) each.
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If someoene rushes to tell you good news that person considers you a friend, you should be flattered and happy for them
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This is why I left babes that wear head wraps a long time ago
“I put a spell on him but his mother’s prayers saved him” There are some curses that missed us because we have prayerful loved ones
Full episode linked in my bio
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Peer pressure making you launch someone thats not yours is heelarious
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Please never disrespect Ragnar Lothbrok like this again
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One of what seemed like the happiest most energetic dudes in uni just told me he’s on antidepressants. You really have no idea what the hell anyone is going through
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You reach an age where it’s not about you, just seeing the people you love happy is enough
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Sleep is only nice when you’re broke. When you’re living your dream you want to be awake
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Tweeting your true feelings and just putting “ 🎶 “ at the end as if they’re lyrics so people don’t disturb you>>
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You had the chance to say “the type to leave you on red” but you fumbled
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When I was in Abu Dhabi we went to this club that had a shitload of prostitutes. The slightest eye contact and they’d approach you. After like 3 women pulled up and started disturbing me I started avoiding eye contact. Then I was like damn, is this how women feel
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I can see how easy it was to colonize us
Checked out your girlfriend's new boda guy?
Kampala girls have a new favourite Boda guy now
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I play these Arab dudes in Fifa at school every Tuesday and Thursday morning. I don’t know why they think changing the commentary to Arabic scares me. I’ll still rock your world habibi.
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This nigga broke up with his babe bc she had $200k+ in student loans and if she died after they got married the loans would become his. I hear him.
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You can love women but be sexually disciplined. I like the smell of fuel I don’t drink it
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This dude just asked me where in Europe Uganda is. I told him south of Vietnam. Who is trolling who.
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My girl is on her period atm so that means her boyfriend isn’t getting any pussy tonight. This brings me peace
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Show us that video you can never delete from your gallery no matter what it is….
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If you get married for love only (the love poets write about) when it goes away (and it will) What shall you do. We need to treat marriages more like businesses. Feelings are a very small part of the picture. Values, integrity, willingness to work hard etc matter more
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There are only 3 things that make life unfair. Beauty, inheritance and intelligence. You don’t choose how you look, where in the world you’re born, or how intelligent you are. Treating these like anything but sheer luck is a big red flag
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One thing my mother swears by is not telling people your plans. I take it one step further and just tell untruths to mislead
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This girl in my class says I never smile(I do). I tell her she never says anything funny (She’s hilarious). Today she tickled me (harassment) and I laughed. City boys down 1000.
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Guy that went to court bc they removed him from a WhatsApp group is killing me. They added him back and all left then created a new one. He’s back in court
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Niggas love to snap that military jacket on their car seats like its a RR
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There is a guy who is tired of the girl you’re dying for. Respect yourself
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People that say pay attention to who doesn’t clap when you win make me laugh. Why the fuck do you care who claps when you win. Nigga you already won
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You shouldn’t have added that picture bc now your point has been lost in the noise bc of the assumption that you condone what happened to Gadaffi
All dictators must always remember that they can fool people so many times but they cannot fool all the people all the time. When
#PeoplePower
is bringing down despotic Field Marshals, then despotic Generals should be put on notice. Power to you, People of Sudan.
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Just because you love somebody doesn’t mean they deserve to be in your life
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If I had a 4th brother I’d caption this, Four brothers. But I don’t. These are my two brothers.
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The greatest gift you can give someone is your time. When you give someone your time you’re giving them a portion of your life you’ll never get back
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Can we be serious for 1 second
I used to study using the light from my father's cigarette – DP Gachagua
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Felt delete, might cute later
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Sometimes just focus on enjoying the day. The one good thing about some problems is they’ll still be problems later, you don’t have to deal with them immediately
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It blows my mind how two people can share the same experience, and walk away having experienced two completely different things
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Messing with a girl that’s an artist is a slippery slope. Soon as shit goes south you’re going to end up in a song or a poem, as some fictional character called Luke or some shit. With some hurtful details too, talking about “Look Luke, you spoke like you never read a book Luke”
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You know yourself mostly by your thoughts. Everyone else in the world knows you only by your actions. Remember this when you feel misunderstood. You have to do or say something for others to know how you feel.
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Recently rocked some dude at hideout that physically mistreated my cousin. We should all be on some vigilante shit at this point. Go to the gym or learn how to fight and when you see anything happening, stop it. Even if it’s not your cousin, it’s someone’s cousin/sister/daughter
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You’re playing tip pax, your mates are qualifying for UCL quarter finals
Yeah... we're not quite sure what's going on here either 😅
But we'd love to see your captions 💬
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Sweatergad thought Oprah was wylin for a bit
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Rihanna looks like you
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You know how I’ve been going on about projection for the past week or so on here. This is it. Money matters to them so they think it’s what matters to everyone regardless of the circumstance
Uganda is in the process of sending $61,800 (about sh226.6m) to be used as upkeep to the 105 students stuck in Wuhan, China. This was revealed by Health Minister Ruth Aceng in Parliament on Thursday.
#VisionUpdates
📸
@TimothyMurungi
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If UP catch the kicking bandit by tomorrow this week it might be their best week in recent times
Kampala Metropolitan Police confirm the arrest of Ashraf Kiiza, the assailant involved in the disturbing incident captured in a viral social media video. Mr. Kiiza was apprehended by Flying squad unit Police officers after being on the run since the evening of May 13, 2024.
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If you’ve ever held appeta/ingrid ❌
What's the criteria for classification as an international school??
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Bro there is a serious problem with Uganda
@jojobusing
@jojobusing
,
@henryshaykins
and
@kaysafi1
come and see. Stone throwers hired at 2,250,000,000!
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You’re struggling to reach the word count for uni assignments but your texts always have “Read more..”
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