Sabrina the SALTy CPA
@IraGilligan
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Following
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Statuses
35,067
I help tax pros navigate SALT for their clients. Unfiltered content. #ADHD and thriving. #TaxTwitter . Matt Club Member.
North Carolina, USA
Joined August 2013
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Hey
#TaxTwitter
fam. I recently started Honeycomb State Tax Strategies so that I can focus 100% on my first true love: Multistate Tax. If you can't imagine using "love" and "state tax" in the same sentence, keep reading, because I would love to take SALT projects off your plate.
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I dated a guy for 6 weeks before figuring out that he was married. I met his wife today when they came through the ticket line and I did not play along with his pretending to not know me, I hope she asked who I was
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If you're wondering how I caught him, he sent me a wholesome Snap of him holding his dog. I sent a screenshot to my sister and said "what's wrong with this photo" and she said "a woman lives there" bingo. Ain't no man hanging monogrammed stockings by the chimney
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If you're wondering how this ended for him, he asked where I wanted to get dinner and I casually responded I was in the mood for [most expensive restaurant in town], ordered a $200 cab sav, and after he signed the check I said "how's your wife liking that diamond bracelet you got
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BTW I had our mutual friend tell her. She was v upset but stayed with him so ... ?
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We are the same age and in the same city but our only mutual was a 2nd degree connection - a woman I played soccer with married his best friend, so she sent me screenshots
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@JessPected
@JAC_OnTheBrazos
He should tell his wife he was wrong and he is sorry.
She shouldn’t take him back, but she deserves to hear it straight from the horse’s mouth
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I just received an Excel spreadsheet that is a crime against humanity. Why would you do this.
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@SheRatesDogs
"what kind of feminist are you if you don't show me your tits" is a new one for me
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Accounting bots are stealing our jobs? When can they start?
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@fklein907
Me, in a red county, trying to find the other blue parents
"Did you hear that woman on the school board has a list of books she wants banned from the school libraries?"
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If your tax preparer confuses "tax return" with "tax refund," run.
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EVERYONE. I HAVE NEWS. MY STAFF ACCOUNTANT PASSED HER FINAL CPA EXAM. 🥳 THAT'S THE TWEET.
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I had lunch with a guy I used to date and he told me that he cashed out his 401k to pay off his mortgage and I had so many questions but more importantly I'm no longer attracted to him
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@sohosatan
I went on a date with an undergrad when I was in grad school. He spent most of dinner reliving his high school basketball glory days. His nickname on the team was Superman so he got a Superman tattoo. He invited me to come over and watch a highlights reel.
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@BecauseIMatter
I wouldn't unless my daughter said she went to their church and "got saved" 😂
It's a good parenting opportunity to say that different people have different beliefs, this is what I believe, what about you? My daughter is atheist but I don't have a problem with her going to
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Highly recommend having an 11-year-old social media manager
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@hunonymous_
@MrMatthewHardy
The FBI should hire more women and pay them double, we out here doing the work for free
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No one hustles harder than a chartered accountant in India trying to work for an American CPA firm.
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I thought today would be a good day to use an Excel formula to streamline a process I've been doing manually for 3 years.
I spent 30 minutes trying to make it work.
It didn't work.
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An accounting student stopped by, all dressed up, shook my hand, introduced herself, made great eye contact, and gave me a resume and cover letter and asked that I keep her in mind if we have summer internships available.
IDC what y'all say about Gen Z, I love these kids.
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@MrFishoftheseas
BRO TRIED TO TALK HIS WAY OUT OF IT "we have joint custody of the dog bla bla bla"
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@MrMatthewHardy
Our only mutual friend, I sent a woman I played soccer with in high school to get receipts
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Sigh. Gave my students an assignment to write about a crime solved by forensic accountants. One student wrote about Enron and described it as "a pretty cool crime." Prison isn't cool, son. 🧐
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I got the house 🎉
Closing end of May
It's 6 blocks from my office, 4 blocks from J's school 😍
1/2 mile to downtown
Catch me at every summer live concert
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I ran some numbers today since we're deep into busy season 3 months after I fired almost a third of my clients.
Revenue is up 18%. Hours are down 17%.
I'm not even going to say profit increase bc you won't believe it.
0 tolerance for BS this year.
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Things I've said a lot this week:
"A magician. You're looking for a magician. I'm a CPA. We are not the same."
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When you call the Paid Practitioner line with the IRS and they put you on hold, you should be able to talk to the other practitioners on hold.
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My staff accountant passed her 4th and final CPA exam section!
I've historically posted a congratulations pic on our social media but I'm low-key nervous she's going to get poached 😂
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I love when $500 clients say I should hire more people. No, I should actually fire more $500 clients.
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@emilykmay
There is a local caterer who makes delicious pre-packaged meals like this, hasn't changed prices in years, I feel so guilty but it's all delicious
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My brother in Christ, you are holding yourself out as an expert on "financial freedom" to nearly 15K followers, and you were unaware of your company's vesting period, which was disclosed to you when you were hired.
You got caught with your pants down, dude.
I checked my 401k to see it was wiped out of almost $3,000
My apologies for being a little frustrated with this system
I was not aware and was never made aware that my company had a 5 year vesting period
Sorry to everyone who knows everything about everything 😂
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"My tax person never responds"
I sold my CPA Firm in December. Prior to that, I was that unresponsive tax pro.
Here's why, plus some insight on how to get a response:
Heavy email volume: After spending hours unsubscribing to everything under the sun and setting up a
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Ah, yes. That software that replaced us.
"Quick question, when did you last reconcile the bank account, why doesn't retained earnings roll, why does payroll tax liabilities have a $12,456 debit balance, and what is this $500k in undeposited funds?"
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Pro tip:
If you change CPAs and don't pay your prior CPA's final bill, don't ask them for something on April 13th and expect to get it by April 18th.
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Dude in front of me on a flight to Phoenix with no bag, book, headphones, anything. He's gonna raw dog a 4.5 hour flight
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@ambernoelle
The other day I saw someone say that the aggressively child -free crowd doesn't actually hate children, they hate their parents, and honestly the more I think about it, the more I think that's so spot on
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I got bangs, or as I call them, Botox for poor people
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@pjspartner
@JessPected
My attorney said I shouldn’t “settle” for split custody.
No, thanks. Love my kid but I also love getting a break.
The first snow day of the year was his day. Got an alert that school would close, right about the time he would be arriving at the office after his hour commute.
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I reluctantly let a student turn in some late work yesterday after the final exam. He passed my class. Today he told me that because I let him finish his work, he will be the first in his family to graduate from college.
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Hi, I'm a CPA. You might know me from my hits "You can't deduct that," "There's no benefit to structuring your entities that way," and the chart-topping, "Tax Cuts and Jobs Act did away with that deduction but you qualify for the higher standard deduction."
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@stanzipotenza
For years, they wouldn't recognize trans people, but suddenly when it fits there narrative...
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He's a 10 but when he finds out you're a CPA, he asks how much money he can save on taxes by setting up an LLC
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Conservative outrage over
#TamponTimmy
surprises me zero percent. My father kicked me out of the house when I was 15 for "stealing tampons." My periods were heavy and 9 days long and there were never enough tampons despite me pleading for them, so I took half of my mom's and hid
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@emilykmay
@literally_chad
I came here for the "I don't believe that" comments
My sister worked as a medical transcriber for a doctor, and pretty often, they would see women patients whose husbands supervised all of their visits (providers were female, they weren't there for safety, they were there to
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Our staff accountant passed audit! 🎉🎉🎉🎉
✅ FAR
✅ AUD
REG
BEC
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Fall asleep in Raleigh, wake up in Reykjavik. See you tomorrow, Iceland
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If you start your public accounting career with a firm that has a pretty sophisticated client base, you are zero percent prepared for the vast number of people walking around who have no idea that their tax refund comes from the taxes withheld from their paycheck.
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Hey
@Intuit
@QuickBooks
, can we talk about how you are undercutting your customers' bids for service? Because I'm not feeling appreciated 2 weeks before I fly to
#QBConnect
on my dime.
#TaxTwitter
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A client I terminated yesterday left me negative reviews on every platform and then posted a rant in a local Facebook group, and I read the responses, and he got dragged so hard, he turned off the comments.
Felt slightly better about getting my negative review cherry popped.
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PSA if you are into virtual currency:
My tax prep fees are based on the complexity of the return, not how much money you made or didn't make.
"But I LOST money?!" Yes, yes you did. YOU lost money, I did not.
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Proud CPA moment:
Did some financial coaching with a client a couple weeks ago, gave them 5 to-dos including talk to my mortgage person and negotiate a higher salary at work.
He emailed me to tell me he got a better job with a huge pay increase and better benefits. I'm beaming.
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There are 44,000 CPA firms in the US.
42,000 of them have 5 professionals or fewer.
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@SonofHas
That's not what the graphic says but thanks for screenshotting only a portion of it to support your point
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When some random from high school DMs you. "Real quick question."
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You guys, I've finally made it. I matched with a guy on a dating app and he recognized me from
#TaxTwitter
. Who do I talk to to get my blue check?
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Just a reminder that this is what 10cm looks like so don't cheap out on mom this Mother's Day
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Imagine talking to someone like this. I've gotta tell ya, most of us in tax are done with this nonsense. Best of luck with whoever you sucker in to do your taxes.
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Hi.
Hi.
Hi.
HI.
Hey you.
Hello.
This is your annual reminder:
A TAX RETURN is a form that you send to the IRS.
A TAX REFUND is the check or direct deposit the IRS sends to you if you overpaid your taxes for the year.
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Mom I volunteer with: I'm thinking about switching CPAs. Mine charges a lot even though my taxes got way simpler.
Me: oh yeah?
Mom: yeah, it was $300 when I had a Sched C, and it's still $300 now
Her CPA had a heart attack last tax season. Prob bc he's doing $300 returns.
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Local CPA died a few weeks ago, no succession plan. NCACPA board is lit up with people looking for help with his clients.
Get a succession plan and don't die at your desk, friends. 😥
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Who else has imposter syndrome so bad that everytime you hear a new tax myth for the first time, you stop and think "well hold on, AM I wrong?"
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If you call a CPA and their price quote is too high for you, that's ok, everyone isn't for everyone. But don't keep blowing up their phone looking for free tax advice. ✌
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"I owe HOW MUCH? But with my old CPA I never owed -"
CALL HIM THEN
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The fun thing about having 8,000 accountants follow me on Twitter is sometimes I'm reading a tax article online and I have a question about it and I see who the author is and I'm like "omg we're Twitter friends" problem solved
If only my middle school bullies could see me now
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I had to Google this. I'm a real accountant and I'm ok with this.
just told a group of teenage girls that I am an accountant and they thought I meant “an accountant”
I am mortified
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Finally decided on a Halloween costume. It's the scariest thing I could think of: a blurry jpeg of a W-2.
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@DreamXWW
@LaShandaMcCuin
@hellonecole
Yes. If I'm having trouble canceling something, I'll switch my payment method to a Visa gift card with $0 balance. When they call to harass me about it, I tell them I already canceled and they need to eff off.
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Not returning calls of people who are just looking for free tax advice is self care 💗
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I'm not taking any more tax work, but if I were, I would start using some sort of screening question to weed out people who think my time, skill, and knowledge have anything to do with their inability to run a profitable business.
@DanPriceSeattle
I am an independent artist. I am a business. Last year I had a negative income, but still had to pay an accountant over $450 to figure out my taxes for me.
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Someone brought their tax documents today (it's my fault, don't @ me about boundaries). She asked if everything was there and I said yes, and everything is in order of how they appear on the tax return, how did you do that? And she laughed and said she pulled out her 2021 file
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