Harold “Hollywood” Hawg
@Hawg007
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I’m a simple man | UARK ‘88
Fayetteville, AR
Joined February 2021
6th beer down. About to start liking instagram stories.
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Sophomore year we found out my roommates girlfriend was cheating on him, but she cooked for us, cleaned, even did my laundry once, so we just never told him. They’re still together and I still feel terrible.
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Not many things better than lying to strangers when you’re drunk for no reason at all.
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People telling me I’m a bad person ya I know that’s what like half my tweets are about.
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Not much worse than talking ball with guys who clearly don’t know ball.
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Buddy of mine needs jail time for horniness here
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Honestly I think Sydney Thomas is TOO HOT to have sex with. If I got the opportunity to crack that, I think the pressure would just be way too much for me to handle. Idk hopefully I’m wrong just trying to keep it honest on the burner.
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When you’ve been chatting up the 10/10 all night and she hits you with .“What’s my name?”
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I drink beers like George Pickens plays football.
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Little jersey swap before bars last night. Just somethin to show a little respect.
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My entire extended family is upset that I cracked beer number 1 at 9:30am today. Sorry mom I’m trying to avoid this hangover and you can’t get hit by the train if you’re riding it.
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Not exactly the box combo I wanted on a Friday night but it’ll still play.
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First 3 Ubers I ever got, me or someone else threw up in. Then, my friend said a hard R in front of a black Uber driver. Spent 6 years working my way up from a 0 star rating, this 4.92 really means something to me man.
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Bartenders heavily over served me Friday night. Whoever broke into my apartment and pissed in my bed after I got home, .count your days pal.
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“So have you been driving Uber for a long time?”
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Ashton Jeanty leads the nation in rushing yards, touchdowns, yards per carry, and yards after contact. But I GUARANTEE you he can will not drink more draft beers than me this weekend. Your move, @AshtonJeanty2
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Too much ass in a college gym. Can’t get a good arm pump when all the blood is flowing to my pecker.
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If I was on death row this would be my last meal. Respectfully.
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The election if only certified ball knowers voted
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I fear this app will be insufferable on Christmas when 18 year olds open up their Peter Millar Q zips and Barbour jackets they asked for.
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Any career options where you make good money but it doesn’t make you wanna die?.
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If you’re a guy that pays for Onlyfans you should be neutered and exiled from western civilization.
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Harrison Butker missed an extra point Sunday so now I have to do my own laundry for the week. Nobody has it harder than me
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@tr3llyburner “Social media and society nowadays fires me up” . Yet It’s the sole reason she’ll never have to work a day in her life.
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Ladies, men don’t want you obsessed over your physique. Regular mom bods like this are ideal.
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Too cold to see butt on campus. Not sure how you Big10 burners make it to class regularly.
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What if we all bought stock in a small company or brand and then collectively started hyping it up on here like we did with Peter Millar?.
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No, I haven’t gone to class in a while.No, I’m not gonna pass my classes.No, I won’t be bringing a girl home for Christmas.No, the $145 spent at Chili’s last night wasn’t a fraud charge.Any other ridiculous questions, mom?.
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Halloween is a funny holiday because you love it as a kid, then you get too old to trick-or-treat and it seems really lame. But THEN pretty girls start wearing slutty nurse costumes and you love it again.
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@LawOfMacDoodles You think I should still? .It was like a week before school ended 2 years ago and I haven’t seen him since. Still text him sometimes and he was my boy, definitely regret it.
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This semester I:.Turned in my lowest GPA to date. Got less butt than any semester to date. Was cut off from dad’s credit card. Am *trying* to go sober. I used to be an MVP in this league man.
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Wouldn’t wish a post-shower shit on my worst enemy. Potentially the worst thing of all time.
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Only reason I still go out is dad lore. I don’t really wanna get hammered anymore and wake up with a gross hangover. I just want good memories and stories for when I’m older. Just chasing dad lore now.
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If this girl flirted with me like she does in her tik toks I’d probably give her my social security # ngl
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Deleted TikTok and Instagram to try and get my screen time down but all I did was triple my twitter screen time.
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@AryePulliNFL @ZoneUnc @UNCFootball @InsideCarolina @KeepingItHeel @gTylerThompson Doing this after the Wasabi Fenway bowl is insane🤣.
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@LaKnowBall I see that you’re flexing the huzz, but I noticed you left the pinned broad on open for 4 days. Wondering what went down Friday night to cause this. Curious,.Hotshot.
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Everyone calling me gay okay big tough high test burner guys let me know when you make Sydney Thomas tap out.
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What do y’all think the average GPA is on the burnerverse?.
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Burner pro tip:.If you are subscribed to Chegg, you get Tinder Gold for free. Something I learned freshman year I thought I’d share.
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My “Wednesday gotta lock in” has turned in to 3 hours of screen time at noon. Always been a 2nd half team anyways.
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I’d rather take a spinning kick from Jon Jones than pull out my laptop and do homework.
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“To live is the rarest thing in the world,.Most people only exist.”
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@dirtygirl1000 Pointing a gun at someone for your 37 anonymous twitter followers is so cool!!.
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@raouldukeBJ Raoul,. Sounds like you’re batting .300 against a Randy Johnson slider level question. Tip of the cap. -Hotshot.
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Today I will do what others won’t,.So tonight I can blackout at my hometown bar.
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Before you vote, make sure you inform yourself on who ACTUALLY runs the United States government.
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@1BenderBending They probably don’t wanna waste money on an ungrateful dork. Hope this helps!.
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@HGreenborrow Genuine question here,.Would you rather a guy say he doesn’t follow sports at all or pretend to know sports and give a really stupid take like saying the ravens should trade Lamar.
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@MicahhParsons11 Micah Parsons when it’s time to win a meaningful game vs Micah Parsons when it time to make a podcast
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Wish I started a burner a couple years ago when I was a real degenerate. Trying to be a better person these days which is not only boring but also limits good burner tweets.
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I built this fyp from the ground up. (Not studying currently)
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Just saw 2 pledges walk past each other and hit each other with double finger guns. As a fellow white man I can’t even be mad about it.
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How drinking 2 days in a row feels in 2024. (Washed up and I’m currently fighting a 2 day hangover)
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Missed the World Series Game 1 last night. Please don’t spoil it. If Freddie Freeman hits a walk off grand slam I’ll get drunk tonight.
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Mom’s debit card expired. I guess I have to pay for my own Ubers now. Nobody has it harder than me.
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Buddy of mine showed up to lift in an upside down Dallas hat. How should I proceed?
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Hotshot almost got his first hole in one today. 186 yards. I’d personally say that’s about 8-10 inches from the cup. Trust me ladies.
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Just got kicked out of class. Apparently it’s Election Day not Erection day?.Live and learn.
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Final semester update. Gonna try and quit cold turkey over break.
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Too many women think they’re being fumbled. With all due respect, a lot of em being punted.
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@braxtonmcbag Brax,. Tell the ole lady I said great front porch. With all due respect,.Hollywood.
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