Hasidic Attorney
@HasidicA
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Following
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Media
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Statuses
10,413
All night on Twitter, all day in court.
ליבי במזרח ואני בסוף מעריב....
Joined November 2019
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Send us removal request.
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Chaim Weitzman was once asked why the Jews specifically want the land of Israel when there are so many other available lands?
He replied, "That's like asking me why I travel an hour every Sunday to visit my mother when there are so many old ladies who live much closer."
There is a province in Russia called "Jewish Autonomous Oblast" which has a larger land area than the entire entity of Israel (36 thousand km2 to Israel's 26 thousand km2). It is one of two Jewish jurisdictions in the world (the other being Israel). Zionists who ask why
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Chareidim dancing at the release of a female soldier. What a time to be alive.
Ashkelon is partying about Ori Megedish's rescue.
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I just saved thousands on my Daughter's wedding by announcing that all guest are required to be vaccinated and wear masks. No ones gonna show up!!
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I went to Stolin High School. I took all the Regent exams and passed them all. I worked very hard and noone told me the answers. Please don't minimize my hard work.
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Stop complaining about gas prices in a couple of weeks you'll be buy burnt hard and tasteless crackers for $70 a pound
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My shul has something called Keren Chasanam. When anyone makes a wedding, they get 10K no
questions asked (you can reject it).
40 people each give $250 per wedding.
Costs $1000 every 2-3 months.
Your favorite tzedaka to give your maaser money to? Go.
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Lubavitch is the best bang for your buck on Twitter. Tweet about Lubavitch you get likes and replies. Tweet about Satmer it's like yelling in a desert, no one hears no one cares.
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Ok I guess no one had done it so here goes. Our story starts in Kotzk in the year in 1839, Simchas Tora 5600, when there is a rebellion in Kotzk the Holy Izhbitzer has left Kotzk and started his own court.
Although he never reveled the reason why he left rumors spread.
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8 am Wake up, drink Negel Vasser.
8:30 Teflin with white side facing up.
9 Shachris no tachnun. Talk a whole davening. Leave before Aleinu
9:30 Eat sandwich without washing hands.
10 AM Go to work in bald without Yarmulkah.
Shake all the women's hands
10:30 coffee Chalav Stam
If you had 24 hours where you don't need to keep the Torah, what would your timetable be?
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If you went to Yeshiva and
can read the article in English only, the articles is not about you.
you can read it in both Yiddish and English. You are more educated than half the country don't worry about it.
Can only read the Yiddish article. That's what we are talking about.
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If we just recognized the PLO
If we just gave them autonomy
If we just gave them Jerico
If we just left Gaza
In my lifetime, israeli Jewish families would go on Friday afternoon shopping in Gaza without fear. The more we gave them, the more they wanted.
If Israel agreed to a two-state solution along the pre-1967 borders, Palestinian extremists who continued down the path of violence would lose legitimacy, even among other Arabs and Muslims, and even most Palestinians.
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The same people who believe that the chant "From the river to the sea Palestine will be free" is not offensive; believe that the "missing poster" of a kidnapped little child is offensive.
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Not as bad as the Times says, not as good as the Yeshivos say.
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The little babies that were kidnapped need to be released.
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The new Satmer shul in Williamsburg has a breakfast shop in the basement. Your move Chabbad.
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You should shut your account and never tweet again. You lost thousands of hours of goodwill in one second.
מעות לא יוכל לתקן
Earlier today I shared a report that was published on
@reuters
about the bombing at the hospital in Gaza which falsely stated Israel struck the hospital. I mistakenly shared this information in a since deleted post in which I referenced Hamas’ routine use of hospitals to store
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I won't swear, but when the guy that invented the USB dies, they will start putting his casket in the ground and no matter which way they put it in, they will remove it, turn it around, and put it back in.
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Menhalim and Roshe Yeshivah come to the next world, and they are all sent to hell.They meet the angle in charge. How can we be in hell? We educated and raised a whole generation of fine jews? The angle says sorry you really belong in Gan Eden. There just is no room right now.
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9 brother inlaws all named Mendel. Wow.
my sister-in-law brocha got married last night 🎉 mazel tov to the bride and my 9th brother in law mendel. grateful to hashem for simchas
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Slonim and Lubavitch....
From the mouth of the Rebbe himself...
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The first night that I slept in Yeshiva I asked a fellow student where the showers were he said "I dont know I'm new here I'm only here a month!"
Help me settle a contentious debate:
When do you prefer to shower?
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The world is back to normal. The goyim beat the Jews in basketball.
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My mother used to say: " Don't worry we will out live them."
I always say: "Don't worry somthing else will be trending on Twitter in less than 24 hours."
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There is a Lawyer who I'm friendly with in court. He claims that the Jews run the Government, Hollywood, the courts etc. But he claims that, that is a good thing and Jews do a pretty good job running the world.
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Owning a building and collecting rent does not mean you are more successful than your Tenant. It does not mean that are a better person. It doesn't even mean that you are richer than your Tenant. All it means is that you chose a sepicific line of work.
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I just spent Shabbos in North Woodmere at Khal Lev Avos, for the simcha of the aufruf of Rabbi Weinberg Shlit"a's son. Shabbos was absolutely beautiful. It's hard to find words to describe the uplifting and spiritualy nourishing shabbos that I just experienced.
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There once was a Ger who insisted on becoming a Satmer Chasid. The Rabbi asked why he wanted to be Satmer so badly? He replied that just because I'm becoming Jewish doesn't mean I want to stop hating Jews.
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Q:How was your Shabbos?
A: I laid in bed and couldn't fall asleep because the A/C shabbos clock didn't go on and I had heartburn and I don't know if your allowed to take TUMS on shabbos
@DBashIdeas
: I read these two dissertations one on Halaca and Psychology the other on Sukkot
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How Frum Twitter works:
Good morning.
Chabadsker: the Rebbe in 1961 also said good morning
Woke: The Palestinians don't have a good morning
Yiddish: Gut Morgin
Yeshivish: You have a Date today? You practicing?
Geology: in hungary between 1692 and 1701 that word was not used.
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DELETE THIS. כפיו טיב
Biden support for Isreal is way more important than you being stuck in Israel. America literally sent troops to free hostages, billions of dollars in equipment, and unwavering support for Israel. Poland sent a plane for some rich tourists. Get a life.
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Israel saved Orthodox Jewery
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The joys of being an openly Orthodox Jew in Housing Court.
Judge yelled at me today: You can't just check into my courtroom and then runaround like own the building!
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Jerusalem- Sanhedrin today in a stunning desicion overturned the over 1000 year old Cherem D'Rabeinu Gershom. Woman's Rights group are calling for an overthrow of the Sanhedrin. Defenders say that states can still prohibit it and that most men cheat on their wives anyway.
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11 Snack, no bracha
1130 Loshon Hora
12. Yell at the Janiter big chillul hashem.
1230 fight for Yeshiva secular education.
1pm. lunch no mayim achronim.
130 skip karbonos at mincha.
2pm learn the sugya of "pesach pesuach."
230. Some Moreh Nevuchim.
3pm Breslov.
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Hamas can. Hamas just doesn't care about you.
Apparently the entire world is not able to stop the genocide in Gaza.
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11 pm, come home and hug my wife in front of the kids.
12 am. Bread with bread for snacks.
1 am No negel Vasser.
2 am. Go to sleep on my right side.
3 am Sleep without pajamas.
4 am. Without tzitzis.
5 am. talk after Hamapil.
6 am COMMIT SUICIDE!!!
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Depends which grandparent
Having a single Jewish grandparent while knowing absolutely nothing about Judaism, Jewish culture, or Jewish history, does not give you the right to identify as Jewish.
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Is this model discontinued? This is what a real Shliach looks like!
כה לחי
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My good friend Rabbi Yehuda Foxman met with Rabbi Hershel Schechter and showed him his tchailes display. He found Rabbi Schechter to be extremely modest and kind. Rabbi Schechter was glad to see that he had included Rabbi Schechter's opinion in his display. לא אלמן ישראל
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I did a provocative ritual in New York today! Yay, me!
Far-right isr
@eli
National Security Minister Itamar Ben-Gvir takes part in the provocative rituals in the courtyards of the Ibrahimi Mosque in Hebron.
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Nobody beats me. On the first day of RH I, was the Gabbai, the Baal Tokea and the Baal Mussaf. Yes, I davened for the Amud and blew the shofar.
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#FakeJewishHistoryMonth
Rare Find! Sefer Noam Elimelech that belonged to the Holy Baal Shem Tov.
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Let's see if we can use this source for good!
My cousin in Vilna is in big trouble. She is facing prison time. We need to help.
Every donation that comes through Twitter for the next 24 hours will be doubled by a generous donor the cap is 1000.00 let's see if we can make 1000 x2
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The only other picture of the Lubavitcher without a hat.
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LOL my brother is being held Hostage as we speak don't talk to me about your humanity.
I have never experienced such intense heartache.
Dear ZioNazis of Israel, particularly those supporting this genocide, I hope you never find peace and comfort in life. I hope the ghosts of our 30,000 killed haunt you until you rot out of existence. Of course, in reality you
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8 pm engage with a missionary.
830 rule in favor of a poor person because he is poor.
9 Don't help my enemy load his donkey.
930. Drive a sedan with no dents!
10pm leave phone on during Chuppa.
1030 Drive home. Stop at every stop sign and signal at every turn.
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Yeshiva Bachur, what is stopping you from dressing like this?
בתמונה: תלמידי ישיבת סלבודקה (1930)
מימין לשמאל, לימים הרבנים: דוב זוכובסקי משגיח ישיבת לומז'ה בפתח תקווה, אליעזר גולדשמידט דיין בבית הדין הרבני הגדול, יצחק הוטנר ראש ישיבת ר' חיים ברלין ומחבר פחד יצחק, משה טיקוצ'ינסקי משגיח ישיבת סלבודקה בני ברק, וזבולון גרז אב בית הדין ברחובות
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The whole world hates the Jews. The Jews hate the Orthodox Jews. The Orthodox Jews hate the Chareidim. The Chareidim hate the Chasidim, the Chasidim hate the Slonimer Chasidim, the Slonimer Chasidim hate me...
...because I'm on Twitter.😜
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It would take take a thousand libraries and one hundred reporters just to try to explain what's going on in 770
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I wish there was a chabad house in my neighborhood. I dont have to buy a seat, can show up late, have the Rabbi greet me with a warm smile, short quick davening, shmooze a whole davening with sophisticated people, probably get a free Aliya, great kiddush after davening.
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How do I know it's about Jew hatred? Because hundreds of thousands of people are being killed worldwide and not a single protest. Israel tries to get back their kidnapped babies! and all the gouhls come out.
Massive protests all over the world: not against Jews, not for Hamas, but against the monstrous humanitarian crisis Israel is causing in Gaza.
These protests have many Jews. Smearing these marches as "anti-Semitic" is what was done to anti-Iraq-war protests: "anti-American".
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The undisputed leader of Hungarian Chareidi Jewery was Rabbi Chaim Elazer Shapiro, the Munkatcer Rav, The Minchas Elazer. A great Calmid Chacham, a big Rebbe. His effect was so great that he alone maybe responsible for the stron anti- Zionism bent in Hungarian Jewery.
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330 National Geographic special on Galapagos Island
4pm. Call my female first cousins
430 Bible Criticism.
5 pm. Early mariv. No Gartel
530 Dinner. Not Yoshon.
6pm. Rav Kook, Daf yomi, in Hebrew.
630 Maseh Merkava.
7 pm Believe a woman as a witness.
730 pay employees late.
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I fell for these arguments at times. Why can't Gaza fisherman fish? Why does Isreal arrest teenagers ?
Why can they have an airport?
Here is your answer.
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There is nothing more beautiful than a Rebbe of hundreds of Chasidim that acts like he has none.
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@tksshawa
@JalalAK_jojo
You kidnapped babies and refuse to release them. You deserve what is coming.
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A reminder that if Isreal would have lost the war, they would have been genocided.
A reminder that Israel’s original War of Independence led to 700,000 Palestinians being displaced from their homes and prevented from returning.
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Are you a Gadol Batorah? Is your PR game week? I have experience in running PR for Gedolei Torah.I have all the connections and all the skill and I'm fresh out of a job call me and ill show you how!
-Yanky K.
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If you can only attend one Tisch this week either Shaul or Sadigure. Better attend Sadigur. Next time they both come, Shaul will still be a talmud chacham, but the Sadigura won't be cute anymore.
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Ten Questions: How much do you know about the Chassidic movement?
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Over the next few days, everyone will become experts on the Halacha of a male passing between two women.
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A joke describing the loyalty of Ger chadidim went like this. 3 rebbes asked their Chasidim to jump off a roof. The Gerer jumped before the rebbe finished the sentence, the Belzer said goodbye to his wife and kids before jumping and the Sighiter told the Rebbe to jump first.
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I'm living in the twighlight Ger female faces? Actresses?
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Not the rapes, not the baby beheading... the yellow stars.
The grief and trauma of our people are being weaponized to justify mass murder and war crimes.
This is a desecration.
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Can I come for Sukkos?
My name is Avromy and I've been a rabbi in the Caribbean for the past five years.
Ask me anything.
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I love Chabbad. I consider the Rebbe one of my lifelines in this crazy world. No one else in the world comes close to their mesiras nefesh. Real Chasidim.
All my ribbing was me stirring the pot and my need for drama.
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Allow me to introduce to you Eliezer Berland. He may be one of the greatest disappointments in Chareidi Judaism since the Holocaust. Here is a picture when he was young. Born to a National Orthodox family in Haifa in 1937, Borland was a rising star.
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I was matir neder to eat Chalav Stam so that I can boycott Ben and Jerry's. My boycott is now over so now I'm back to not eating it because it's Chalav Stam.
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Thank God my Great Grandparents were chased out of the Ukraine in the 20's otherwise I'd be there now worried about a Russian invasion.(If we would have survived the programs, pandemics, Holocaust, Communism, Holdomor, NKVD, etc.) They came from a village called Skvere near Kiev.
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In case you were wondering this what "From the river to the sea" means
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Most Chasidim:
Black hat
Black long suit
Black pants
Black Yarmulka
Black shoes.
Black vest
White shirt peeking out.
Chabbad:
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If only the Sudanese Government was Jewish.
There would be 300,000 people protesting in London for them.
Even victims need to be lucky and be the right type of victims.
~10,000 have been killed in Sudan 🇸🇩
900,000 are homeless and displaced. Don’t forget about the people of Sudan.
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NEVER!!
Uncomfortable truth:
The Jewish community NEEDS to stop saying “shvartze.”
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Just noticed a big mistake in the Calendar, tomorrow is Rosh Chodesh Elul.
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#FakeJewishHistoryMonth
Breaking news!!
At an archeological dig outside Beersheba, a ladder was found, it is beleived to be the ladder from Yakkov Avinu's dream
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The NY Times is no better than a 13 year old kid shitposting on Twitter.
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L-R
Meah Shearim
Bnei Brak
Monroe
Williamsburg
Borough Park
Five Towns
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When I was 17 there was a boy in my class who was a semi genius he had finished Shas by his bar mitzva! and when he was 17 he finished Yerushalmi! He had a question that no one was able to answer. Someone suggested he write to Reb Chaim. So he wrote to reb Chaim.
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