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These cats are obviously married but I thought the spotted one was the husband since the gray lady kept getting pregnant. Now the spotted one is pregnant too! They’re just lesbians who love being pregnant
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this was posted in an nba highlight's replies by a pornbot and that's pissing me off bc it's sooooo good
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in college I took this intro to production class taught by a jolly old gaffer and on day one he told us “if you take away two things from this, take away that you should always collect unemployment when you’re unemployed and that you should never work with Tyler Perry”
Tyler Perry says he has halted the $800M expansion of his studio after seeing OpenAI’s text-to-video model Sora.
He adds that he just used AI in 2 of his films and that with Sora “I no longer would have to travel to locations. If I wanted to be in the snow in Colorado, it’s
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Barkley biopic in 30 years has a shot of being the best movie ever made
Charles Barkley: “If you are gay or transgender, I love you. And if anybody gives you sh*t, you tell em Charles says ‘f**k you!’”
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why can’t toddlers say ‘spaghetti’ correctly. what’s wrong with them
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Gay guy at the taco bell gave me two free Baja blasts it was a great moment and it's awesome that he can get married
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Stepped on what I thought was a normal thing to step on but it totally was not and I almost fell into the pits of atlanta
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My email password? LinkedIn. My LinkedIn password? Email. My brain is a fortress, my heart is a pipe bomb, my blood is 5% evidence locker coke.
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who is Benito Mussolini
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German toddler and his grandma are talking German at the self check out, he starts staring me dead in the eyes so I say “guten morgen amigo” and he just screeched
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it's just that they're all the stupidest people in the world and they get to do whatever they want. i think that's what bothers me most
BREAKING: While teaching a class to high school students on Wednesday, Burlington police officers staged a surprise demonstration in which a masked gunman burst into the room and pretended to open fire. The lack of warning sent students diving for cover
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you guys should try this when someone calls you a slur just start like full spittle visceral screaming at them "CHARLES BARKLEY SAYS FUCK YOUUUUUUU" sounds very cathartic
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possibly my new favorite tweet ever made
Most heartache in polyamory is lack of clarity about primary/secondary. We can be tempted to treat a primary mate like 2nd place.
Maybe weird but tbh so helpful—I text my Primary from a Pixel 4A & my Secondary from a MUCH smaller Unihertz Jelly Star—reminds me of my priorities🤷♀️
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A good reason to appreciate the great crossword intern/doggeaux feud of 2019 is that it couldn’t happen at any part of history before today. Every technological advancement has built up to this moment, and I am so happy to be alive to see it.
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is there anyone that stands against trebek in his cancer battle? that guy sounds interesting
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this bread dog. retweet in 10 seconds to never have to worry about bread for the rest of your life
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WHAT did i KNOW
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one reason that I couldn’t be a white nationalist is that I don’t know which countries are “the west.” Is Greece the west? couldn’t tell ya. another reason is that I think marginalized people should have rights
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the last one. I’m free
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of course we all know that all dogs are boys and all cats are girls. that’s kindergarten. But: it’s important to know that all possums are ladies and all rats are rascally lads
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REAL POLITE BOY HOURS
if u goin around
sayin please n' thank u
holdin the door open for folks
then smash
that
like
button
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I brought my chocolate milk to the couch and Julia walked over to me looking like this
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it’s the funniest google search ever. What could compare
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currently fuming at this horrible news
Just a reminder that Mike Pence has an office full of Garfield memorabilia, including signed posters
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dude have you ever wondered why you’ve been pulled over 14 times in a year
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im being serious if you offer me a billion dollars to get on that plane I am saying no
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this is wrong, much more mysterious and interesting is to be completely normal but have an endless trove of freaky little stories. don’t make ‘em wonder what, make ‘em wonder How
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i'm still so mad about this
Saxophone Facts:
- Will make you pregnant if played correctly
- Also referred to as 'curvy brass boi'
- Used for good music (jazz) and also bad music (ska)
- Known as "the farting instrument"
- Fill it with trail mix to create a snacksophone
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it’s stupid that all the best pictures of me were taken during high school. I should have chosen to keep being cool after I graduated bc it would’ve given me many more opportunities for great pictures of myself
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Sam says Cedi Osman is having “the exact reaction I would have if I saw a man with a basketball head”
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there’s this teen that orders the same thing to go like once a week and she ALWAYS does this EXACT thing. 10.06 + 1.51 NEVER equals 11.25, and I have no clue what the logic behind that even is. It ruins my day every single time
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what did i know…
MORPHEUS: This is your last chance. After this there is no turning back. You take the blue pill, the story ends; you wake up in your bed and believe whatever you want to believe. Or: you take the green pill, which will turn you into a green man
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the producers of Dance Moms informing Abby Lee Miller on what insane shit she’s gonna be doing in the next episode:
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@lilgrapefruits
it’s so crazy to try and make this a “oouugh white women” thing like does she expect a black rape victim to agree with her here. this is like hospitalizeable
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the 🥺 emoji is way too powerful. we’re just lobbing nukes at each other with this thing
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couple days ago I found this filthy lost kitten that seemed pretty lost and very afraid so I gave her a nice bath and then yesterday I found her napping in a much better location
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my dad complained about an arby's commercial and arby's sent not one, but two apology tweets
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can somebody please tell the randos to quit posting the drake clapping gif in the replies to snacksophone? i don't like that guy because he groomed a teenager. also if you reply to this tweet with any drake related gifs or images i will block you
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@g3thaunted
@DxGGEAUX
me, watching a movie: I’m studying this actually. I’m studying it, very carefully, and smartly.
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