🏴☠️Bee🏴☠️
@Hail_Lemmy
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Ok folks. It's been a while but Chapter 4: Mormon Trouble is live.
Kidnapping! Drugs! Saving a man from eternal damnation at the hands of a ruthless cult!
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I once had to fight violent explosive diarrhea while trying to land a 10 ton helicopter filled with medical professionals & supplies in a field in middle-of-fucking nowhere Tanzania.
This looks pretty chill by comparison.
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Hot take:
I don’t respect people who are chronically, constantly late.
I don’t care what your excuse is.
It’s nothing more than a fundamental lack of respect for other people’s time.
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I don't really think this guy or anyone like him understands that people like me - with absolutely *nothing* to lose - will burn down their entire world for giggles to prevent this from ever happening.
Former Trump administration official William Wolfe says that as Christian nationalists, they must make it clear that all elected officials, whether they are Christians or not, are required to exercise their authority in accordance with the Bible.
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@Toure
The day Miller gets beaten to death by an angry mob of day laborers will be like Christmas for me.
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Dudes like this deserve to be skinned alive with a box grater.
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The fact that I cannot hunt these people for sport is a violation of my civil rights.
Evangelical MAGA Pastor Shane Vaughn calls SC Justice Jackson “Judge Jumanji Jungle Lips” and says what’s coming out of her lips is “jungle monkey sense.”
He later gives the usual racist ‘apology’ of ‘not having a racist bone in his body,’ then immediately insults her again.
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Ah, yes. The CA film industry - the one that spun up in the early 20th century - was a psy-op created by an agency that didn't exist until after WW2.
Candace Owens: “I am a big believer that Hollywood was created by the CIA”
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Once you've flown one (or one of the many variants/offshoots) you'll realize that this is the pinnacle of rotary wing design.
I won't be taking questions.
Her: He’s probably dreaming of other girls
His dreams:
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@AriDrennen
Money won't change who you are.
It'll *amplify* it.
She was a rich, out of touch, entitled asshole before she transitioned.
Nothing has changed. She's terrified that her Kardashian $ is going to stop flowing so she's doing this to remain relevant & bilk donors out of cash.
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This is the best ad for lesbianism I've ever seen.
Bad Man-Off! Andrew Tate Offers to Train Elon Musk for Cage Fight With Mark Zuckerberg
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Fox's Mark Levin: "President Trump is 76 years old. If the Department of Justice gets its way, he will die in federal prison."
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I’m not interested in propagating the species you nerd.
I’m here to get my fart box tongue punched by a tattooed muscle mommy.
Try to keep up.
@iamAtheistGirl
Homosexuality is demonstrably unnatural, as it cannot propagate the species.
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Dudes who use the term “men of high value” are, generally speaking, the first to shit themselves when things start to spiral out of their control.
They think they’ll inherit the earth.
They’ll be the first to get eaten.
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The worst people I encountered while working overseas were Christian missionaries.
Venal, corrupt, and devoid of anything remotely resembling human decency.
White Christian missionary to Uganda attacked and threatened to kill a Ugandan man over "disgracing Jesus", calling him an "N-word bitch", and tells another "You obey me, I don't obey you".
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John Wick 5 looks amazing.
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@girldrawsghosts
Having heard a Maxim gun fired (which were essentially what the Germans were using) I can tell you it must have been fucking *terrifying*
Like...full blown panic accompanied by a sound straight from the depths of Hell type shit.
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That deafening sound you just heard was the anguished cries of Texans worldwide, lamenting in unison about this absolute hate crime.
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People advocating for civil war are fundamentally broken humans.
I've seen that shit up close & it's *brutal*.
"Me and millions of other gun-loving Americans are just waiting until Trump gives us the green light to take to the streets and start gunning down Democrats"
This one isn't waiting next to the salad bar
that I can tell ya
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The neighborhood dog portal has produced another pooch.
I have no idea who she belongs to. Just appeared in my kitchen. 😂
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I don’t know if she’s going to win (I hope she does), but the the idea that this country could elect a black man and then a black woman to the Presidency in less than a generation fills me with a tiny, tiny spark of hope.
Thousands of voters are currently swag surfing at the Harris campaign rally.
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This is exactly why conservatives lose so fucking much.
They're not funny. They have no sense of humor.
They don't get the joke. About this or *anything*
Joyless, soulless people who exists solely to punch down on other people.
Why the hell did Joe Biden just salute actor Martin Sheen? 🤣
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“Hi. You smell like pie. I like pie. Can I have some?”
A very, very good boy.
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I watched a ten year old girl die after she had been sexually assaulted & had her hands & feet chopped off with a machete.
No god who allows that is worth praying to.
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Do you put potato chips IN the sandwich you're eating or are you a godless heathen that hates joy?
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"Did you see that baby fall out of the sky?? Wild, huh?"
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I stand by this sentiment.
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Nobody gives a fuck about what men think.
Ladies, if you look like this and men won’t fuck you just know that there are millions of women who will - enthusiastically.
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Dude is in the middle of Tourist Town in Manhattan & has the balls to complain about the prices.
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Ok. I need advice from the hive mind.
One of my best friends is having a destination bachelorette party and has requested that we all dress in a nautical theme for the first night.
Does this qualify? No is not an acceptable response...
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I certainly didn't have a 14K furnace replacement on my 2024 bingo card yet here we are.
I do not like this adult bullshit. Not one bit.
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Ah, yes. Third grade insults paired with a photo of a face only a mother could love.
Is the big truck and dogshit rifle supposed to intimidate people?
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It's as obvious as balls on a tall dog that this man has gotten some *very* confusing boners thinking about the sex life of gay men.
Christian nationalist pastor Joel Webbon fumes about Pride Month: "Don't forget, the key characteristic of the gay community is butt sex. It's feces. It's AIDS. It's disease."
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I am very drunk and have acquired a burrito.
Godspeed friends.
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i will 100% defend the nazi's right to protest in the street, to engage in open discussion on contentious topics, and protect him from your violence should you throw the first punch.
If you attack anyone, even a nazi, by throwing the first punch, you are worse than them.
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It’s fuckin’ rad. That’s what it is.
What a badass kid.
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"Pussy for me but not for thee!"
Fire these people into the sun. All of 'em.
Police recover second Zeigler sex tape, this one with Bridget Zeigler and as yet unidentified woman.
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We spent 20+ years and 5 trillion dollars fighting "terrorism" overseas only to ignore the training camps on our own soil.
Great job America. Great job.
Members of the Awaken Church have been targeting school boards in Southern California. This video from their Emerge Men’s conference shld be a wake up call re: the militant component of America’s Christofascism problem. h/t
@ChristnNitemare
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@VeraDrew22
Like, this dude is in NYC. Any Jewish deli is going to have something so much better than this.
Tragic.
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The sizzle & snap of a single bullet flying past their head would cause these ding dongs to shit themselves.
Too much time inside playing Call of Duty has convinced them that they're capable of violence.
They have no clue what it feels like to get shot at.
Shit ain't fun.
Boogaloo Bois and other Virginia Militias trained in the woods prior to today's protest against Gloucester sheriff's arrest of three members, for allegedly carrying a gun at a school board meeting.
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There's loneliness & then there's sitting the parking lot of your old high school eating $25 worth of Taco Bell @ 11:30 PM on a Monday listening to songs about losing your youth & hoping that the combo of hot sauce & sad songs will allow you to feel something other than numb.
🙃
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This is Montpelier VT.
It's about as crunchy, hippy-dippy, New England lefty as you can get.
This is what happens when you grab random images from Shutterstock.
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I remember when you had to smuggle booze into theaters like a degenerate.
Now they’ve got bars and fancy recliners.
Progress.
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I sold drugs in college & later on, stole a fucking monkey.
"Pharmaceutical Distribution Specialist" and "Primate Acquisition Lead" aren't on my CV...
NEW: Kamala Harris’s missing “summer job” at McDonald’s job. Her resume and job application a year after graduating college —
@FreeBeacon
obtained through FOIA — don’t mention it. Neither do either of her books, or either of the biographies on her.
@SaysSimonson
@ChuckRossDC
and
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I can't wait until I can hunt these people for sport.
White nationalist Christian fascist Tyler Russell declares that "we want Trump to be the dictator": "We don't want fuckin' your democracy, dude ... We want to lock down the country and start sending people to jail."
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Drop something yellow from your gallery.
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I’ve seen so many rad animals in their natural habitats but moose have consistently been the only ones that have made me say “what*the*fuck??”
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The thought of cleaning adhesive off my nips & lips.
No thanks. I'll pass.
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When your uncle has a blackberry patch and says he needs help picking them you end up spending the day gorging like a feral raccoon.
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Hard R incoming during the debate.
Don’t say I didn’t warn you.
Trump, referring to the first black woman candidate for president, tweeted tonight, “What right does she have to run for president?”
Yeah. That happened.
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I just put away four hot dogs and I’m on beer number three.
Life is good.
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I’m on a giant boat and I’ve got a hammock on a balcony. I’m set.
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You call me & you get get fed to a crocodile, understand?
audio and video calling are now available to everyone on X! who are you calling first?
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I have a shark costume y’all.
It’s got a tail! And a fin!
Best $29 I’ve ever spent.
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"We had two bags of grass, seventy-five pellets of mescaline, five sheets of high-powered blotter acid, a saltshaker half-full of cocaine, & a whole galaxy of multi-colored uppers, downers, laughers, screamers..."
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I will never understand the cult of In-N-Out.
That's the only way to describe this. The food is mediocre at best.
I've had better burgers at dirtball bars & diners all over this country.
Idaho opened its first In-N-Out and the drive-thru wait was 8 hours…
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“If the deputy hesitated, he could have been killed.”
You say that like it’s a bad thing.
No group is more convinced of their own greatness & infallibility than one made up of almost entirely of soulless meatheads with room temp IQs.
Jesus wept.
The deputy was at the correct address, knocked and announced LOUDLY. Roger Fortson knew a police officer was knocking and he still came to the door with a gun in hand. If the deputy hesitated, he could have been killed.
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The number of times I pulled pitch & tore off into the sky while little echoes of Ramblin' Man bounced around in my head is simply incalculable.
One of the greatest to ever do it. 😥
With deep sadness the Allman Brothers Band learned today that founding member Dickey Betts has passed away peacefully in his home in Sarasota, Florida, following a period of declining health. Our full statement at: Photo (c) 1991 Kirk West Photography
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"Hey Siri. Can you show me what having absolutely massive, gigantic, planet size balls looks like?"
Security guard prevents hippo from escaping into public area at zoo
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“Ma’am. I was promised breakfast at exactly 9:00 AM. It’s now 9:30. This is unacceptable”
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Using a gif, how do you flirt?
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Almost every day.
The amount of energy it takes for me to *not* suck start a pistol is so fucking draining.
There's a lot of terrible shit going on in the world & finding reasons to stick around & live through it is *tough*
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I had no idea Major Shul had passed. 😢
Absolutely worth a listen. One of the best stories about the coolest machine we humans have ever built.
Well done this is hilarious. Remembering Brian Schul, who died last May of a heart attack
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“Splitting that 8-Ball was a bad idea…”
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This man is a national treasure.
“that and the non-binary lesbian aunt thing, i love that stuff too,” chris pine says, as he is actively dressed as a non-binary lesbian aunt. i love him.
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Client emails me "Please call me. I have an urgent question!"
So, I call five minutes after the email comes through.
"Why are you calling me?!? I can't talk now."
Friends. I may commit a murder today. I'll speak of you all fondly in prison.
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"We're going to strap you into a giant metal tube filled with the most volatile liquid fuels we've created & then light the rocket motor, sound cool?"
All of these dudes said "Fuck yeah."
A remarkable life & a testament to just how far a gigantic set of balls will take you. 🫡
The Last Surviving X-15 Pilot, Space Shuttle Test Pilot Joe Engle Dies at 91
Joe Engle’s Remarkable Career Bridged Gap Between Air and Space, Broke Records.
Story:
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Physical Chemistry.
Absolutely brutal.
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Without downloading any new pics, what’s your energy going into 2023?
Mine:
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I just watched a grown man eat chicken tenders with ketchup.
I have never been more ready to throw hands than I am in this very moment.
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This is why these people want their ludicrous book of fairy tales in schools.
So they can groom and fuck your kids with abandon because their invisible friend in the sky said it's A-OK.
We should be hunting these monsters for sport.
Florida baptist pastor, Jonathan Elwing, who was arrested last week for possessing images of children being sexually abused, took photos of himself raping a 2 year old toddler.
Authorities also found hidden cameras in his home & church office.
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This woman is dumber than a second coat of paint.
"Sounds like you do want to tell people what to do in their house": Taylor Lorenz presses Libs of TikTok creator Chaya Raichik to explain her issue with trans adults.
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@LeftyNavySeal
I'm not a lawyer but this seems....bad?
The public health implications alone make my skin crawl.
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@girldrawsghosts
Nope. No thank you.
If there are small ones like that there are probably big ones and that is just not a reality I'm prepared to deal with.
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It absolutely can.
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Hell hath no fury like a catty queen with an axe to grind.
George Santos pledges to “return the favor” to Republican colleagues with “deep, long troubling careers in politics” if he is expelled from Congress before being tried in court on his 23-count superseding indictment.
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