Uncle Efe | 20:10:2020
@HL_Blue
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High level analyst | Life is simple unless you are not | #UnsolicitedAdvice
Beachfront property in Gombe
Joined June 2011
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When your work husband comes to your neighborhood fight >>>>>>>>
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You guys do not understand.
@Mochievous
and
@adetolaov
literally did the work of Office of Public Defender for a week.
And Police got tired of arresting people.
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Everyone is in agreement that this is a perfect song
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So, was King of Boys for the Yoruba, Lionheart for the Igbo and UpNorth for the Hausa this year?
People in the Niger Delta have to manage Aquaman
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You can't fake this level of concern. You either have it, or you don't
Man like Kidd😭🥰. He came to check if Erica was drinking alcohol. Mans even tasted it to be sure😂😂
#BBnaija
#BBNaijaLocdown
#BBNajia
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At least Erica is getting cuddle therapy as inconvenience allowance. Ozo is still talking about trust from across the River Thames
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Close the bridge
Increase bus fare
Put tax on rent
Put registration fee on delivery coys
All in one week and in the middle of a pandemic where jobs are bleeding
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Chief Daddy was a nice movie, like a string of night of a thousand laughs all strung together without need for tempo, dialogue or an actual story line.
A solid 3/10.
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ALL the stolen money from past generations in our country's leadership has been facilitated by our financial institutions without pim heard from the Central Bank.
It is now that small 2 kobo has entered to pay medical bills, post bail for illegally detained, that they are awake?
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I see people saying they hate the decision of what to eat every day. Should I design a two week menu and share here? Even if you're ordering the food at least you'd know what to order in advance?
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Never once was he arrested by SARS.
When we say "God, when?" That's what we are truly praying for, to
#EndSARS
Lewis Hamilton started racing when he was 8 years old. He nearly quit when he was 15. It took him 27 years to become the best at what he does. When you say “God, when?”, that’s your answer.
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So I've been meaning to say this.
The world is full of triggers. You can't be angry about everything everyday. Your life is too short for that. God bless
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It is the temperature in your head that is rising rapidly
Cases of coronavirus in Africa have been few and far between but the numbers are rising rapidly as Nigeria and South Africa on Monday announced new cases and the first death is recorded in Egypt
Here’s everything you need to know about COVID-19 in Africa
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Kiddwaya over punished.
Did assistant Big brother for a week.
Answered 246 bell calls
Got 2 strikes (which have not been cancelled)
Got banned from HoH games for far too long
All for what? Making Erica happy.
All my votes are going there this week please I hate oppression.
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A Nigerian sees another Nigerian leaving the building and asks, You dey go? He answers, I dey come. And they make perfect sense
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My family relocated from Kano 28 years ago because of ethnic violence. If a problem goes on for 28 years it's because the will of leadership does not exist to end it.
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@Xtraspiced
I thought of this but it felt to me like he was brought up by his grandparents lol
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If you communicate only when you're fed up, you're not being wise. No one can hear you. You're just making noise.
Start it when you notice it. Articulate your discomfort, that's why God gave you the gift of language. Say how it's doing you.
Stop rationalising and internalising.
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"Where is the king born in Bethlehem? I too want to go and worship him"
“WHERE ARE YOUR LEADERS??”
(So we can destroy them)
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I take this as a personal rebuke on all of us Nigerians for not standing up for what's right in every little corner we could have done so, to the point where evil is fully entrenched in our leadership
I almost shed tears with what Peter Obi said here💔
“This’s a country where only criminals survive,
if you’re honest nobody calls & wants to do anything with u.
In other countries loyalties wins awards but here you’re criminalize and those who stole are actually given the honor”
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If your employer indicates they are doing you a favour by giving you a job or paying your salary (dare I add, on time), that's a red flag of emotional abuse. Let's be calling out the behaviour one spade at a time
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It was Dorathy that taught me how to measure breast. Let the records show for posterity
Good morning MFC women 😉
Here’s a tutorial on how to know your bra size from our CEO.
We still have your sizes in stock, order using the 🔗
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Let me just say I haven't seen protests done anywhere in the world like it's being done in Nigeria. This? This is world-class, AAA, 5-star, top tier, "take it to the Federal Reserve Bank" certified performance
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"You're a bad person" is very different from "you did something bad". We do not teach our children the difference. Once they do one bad thing we react to forget all the other times they were sources and bundles of joy. It's not good. I wish I could say this a thousand times.
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Nigeria needs a lot of social investment. We need to put money down in things that will not yield money but will improve our quality of life in general. We need water dispensers in schools, playgrounds, waste bins, volleyball courts, toilets that work, lights on our streets
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When Jesus was going "abroad" he gathered his real friends and said goodbye. Promised to call and send them help too.
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From my vast experience in dealing with my estate people I'm aware that:
1. Nigerians prefer chaos, even when their words suggest differently.
2. We will put competence under far greater scrutiny than mediocrity, and then choose mediocrity because we think we can control it.
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Hand holds, back rubs, foot rubs, cuddles, chocolate, cupcakes, movie dates, friend intros, hugs, series recommendations, funny DMs and links, photographer duty, mechanic advice, gadget recommendations, novel loans, new restaurant trials, credit, small loans, hype and prayers.
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This was the tweet that made Pharoah angry
Emeka loads $1,000 on card in Houston, sends digitally to Mama Emeka in Apapa
Mama Emeka sells crypto to Bayo in Yaba, who credits her Access Bank with N450,000
No Dom
No CBN
No Form M
No Remit Export proceeds
No Tax
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I like clumsy people. I like people who bump into doors, knock over glasses, spill books, dent bumpers, kick rocks, break plates, drop eggs, and get caught out dancing when they thought no one was watching.
I love the authenticity of wearing your heart on your sleeve. I love you
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Dorathy looks so so good in that Mr Macaroni's skit.
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Before we resume work in 2019, I want to point out something.
You're not as lazy as they say. You work hard. The system you work in is rigged to make you fail. When you're pressed in 2019, instead of working harder, ask for better conditions. Ask for your time, money, choice.
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People are getting getting angry on the Medview flight. AC is off. Been on ground for an hour.
http://t.co/mpL4Hscqi3
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It's not hypocrisy if someone changes their mind after being persuaded with new information. It's maturity
There's no glory in being rigid
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Sanwo-Olu will always be remembered as the governor that fed his people in their time of need. I hope his distribution plan works well and I hope history is kind to him.
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Nigerians may be the most entitled people on the planet. I say this thing out of ignorance because I haven't met half the people on earth
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The funniest Big Brother comments always start with
"Not been following the show but...."
Ogbeni you've been reading your TL and watching all the clips on Instagram. You've been following the show more than those with DStv premium HD extra view with Showmax add-on.
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You're attracted to someone because they are free and easygoing. Then you want to control them, make them your own so they will be free and easygoing only with you and not with anyone else.
If you wanted a soft serve you should have gone for ice cream.
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Lol I think he was the Nigerian mum
Yesterday I wore a cropped top. My 8 year old son said, "are you sure you should be wearing that outside?"
Fam, the Nigerian mum in me jumped out.
"IN YOUR LIFE! DON'T EVER...!"
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Nigerian women are world class.
They can run, they can jump, they can work together, they can throw balls, they can throw plates, they can lift, they can wrestle and boy oh boy do they have the most beautiful abs.
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I'm stumped. So the Nigerian police essentially kidnapped someone, took him to court, and the magistrate says the person, who committed no chargeable offence, has to post bail of 1m Naira? Is the person wanted? And on what grounds?
Someone didn't commit a crime and was not charged, but is now being 'bailed'. Is life in Nigeria not amazing?
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"I too was trained as a Christian terrorist back in the 80s and 90s."
After now when you read about how Esau sold his inheritance for ofada stew you'll be saying the Bible is unrealistic.
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If the airforce can mistake the Nigerian army for BH because they look alike, how the hell are we civilians supposed to be able to distinguish between them?
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After 11 days in isolation, I received news that my CoviD 19 repeat test came back negative. My sincere gratitude goes to God Almighty, my family, my medical team and all well wishers for the prayers and solidarity. We must continue to do all we can to tackle the pandemic. Efe
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If you ever become a leader, reward people who were loyal to you with vacations or board seats.
Never with jobs they are not qualified for.
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So one Nigerian artist has 13 million monthly listeners, and
@Spotify
hasn't received the sense to make its product available in Nigeria.
Burna Boy has broken his own record for the Most Monthly Spotify Listeners in Africa with 13.3 million monthly Spotify Listeners, surpassing his former record of 13 million.
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@ekowmclean
I'm not understanding. Instead of you to be grateful that they are reminding you, you're complaining. Can't you see the time? Why haven't you delivered the pizza as promised? The fact that the shop hasn't opened is not an excuse. Uncle Junior please do the needful. Thanks
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I know it's funny but my heart broke watching this
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Availability is a love language. Everyone is busy but not everyone is available to you
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When I say I'm not in the mood to make any new friends, I actually mean it. A lot of people are socialized to just take and take, quite entitled and manipulative. The chances that you find anyone who actually listens to another person are less than 2%. And I'm exaggerating
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Nigerian girls will give you 23% of their heart and claim you broke 100% of it.
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We keep dehumanising them by calling them hoodlums. And touts. They are not sub human. They are frustrated. They are us in essence even if not in degree.
There is this elitist approach that many of us have towards poor people which explains why it always shocks us when things explode. These protests are showing us that poverty is a prime political tool which the elites wield to gain and keep power but we keep acting brand new.
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@cremechic11
Weather, friends, cultural distance (no inside jokes, anxiety over etiquette), spiceless food, and then maybe lack of disposable income
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The governor stayed away from the toll gate because he knows it's still not safe. The situation is still ongoing and he already has pictures out of himself in hospital with the wounded. He's acting like nothing is still happening at the toll gate.
This is the toughest night of our lives as forces beyond our direct control have moved to make dark notes in our history, but we will face it and come out stronger.
I've just concluded visits to hospitals with victims of this unfortunate shooting incident at Lekki .
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Technically not the same person. Your core doesn't change but you take on new experiences, journeys, classes, relationships and projects. Sharing this entire growth process with someone willing to share it with you can be one of the most rewarding and satisfying human investments
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This flow sicker than the president elect
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I'm sorry, Bukola Saraki is way more presidential than Muhammadu Buhari.
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Jack Bauer would have never allowed COVID19 get out of hand
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So yesterday we were all about the vendor who would not pay her staff who signed a contract with her. She can be charged to court and all that.
Today let's remember our friends we asked for money from. Let's also try and pay them back too even if we didn't sign contract.
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@TexTheLaw
I've been unable to process it since yesterday. And I don't think I'll ever be able to
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This expat at work said he didn't understand the concept of being owed salary. He said in his country, the day after salary was due and unpaid, nobody would show up to work. No need for a union, or consultation, or WhatsApp group. No explanations requested either
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Do you know why it's so hard to find love sometimes? Sometimes o.
It's because you're not really yourself. Always shifting, always compensating, always explaining and apologizing for expressing yourself. You aren't really sure who you are or what you want or where you stand.
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No one has said it yet but the encounter between Hulk and the Sorceress Supreme in Endgame was my kind of content.
Strongest man meets wisest woman, has to respect and reason with her to find the solution together. The only stone retrieved without deceit or violent conflict.
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A lot of times you miss stuff with people because you don't understand that intimacy means time. You have to dedicate time to spend with the person to fully share the benefits of a relationship with them.
This is a tweet about prayer
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It's about time. 90% of our energy is wasted papering over cracks that are foundation problems
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This thing is spiritual. Nothing you want to tell me
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When wine was needed, Jesus asked them to bring the water they had.
When buffet was needed, He asked for the five loaves and two fish.
When a big catch was needed, he asked for the net to be deployed.
All the resources you need to succeed are already within your reach.
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At some point in the history of football, it was the women playing that everyone went crazy about in England. Then there was a 50 year ban on female football (by men) and now here we are, forced to read tweets like this
equal pay, the way female football advocates want it would be a travesty to merit.
female football is not nearly as commercially viable.
they should be paid in proportion to the revenue they generate.
i mean, very few male footballers in the same team earn same wage.
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If you're working in Nigeria, chances are you're going through emotional abuse at work. It's why I started talking about emotional abuse a bit more. We carry the bad vibes home to our relationships as well. The people all expressing surprise are too scared to talk about their own
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Best way to be a villain is to be a villain upfront. If you start out nice and respectful and overcompensating, when you have to put your foot down after 99 times of letting things slide, all of a sudden people have to read the diary of a mad black woman.
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Your 30's is like getting to the front of Nigerian traffic jam and realizing that there's nothing causing it
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Since I read this thing in the Bible I've realized why it says to pray without ceasing. Because the enemy is ready to invest one drop of water a day for 20 years if it is guaranteed that the rock will eventually break. It looks like a drop but it is not. Resist the gentle attacks
This thing of men meeting you one way, being very verbose in their praise and attraction to said way, and then slowly chipping at your confidence and personality to completely change you. Is it not madness?
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It's all cleared up now. Your president gave the order to use maximum force to dispel the protesters at the Lekki toll gate.
And your strongman, your vice President, your governor, none of them could stand up to him to say no sir not on our watch. They all agreed.
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We've lost community. We've lost the strength of friendship. Everything is online now and we are growing up alone in the midst of a digital crowd
Not me sha. I'm already old
It's so heartbreaking to me to see a lot of younger people struggling emotionally. Youth is meant to be enjoyed... But I guess times are hard
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You see this Prince guy on Big Brother makes me proud. He has layers to him. Good with his hands, good with acting, physically fit, articulate, and knowledgeable. It's cautious at this point but he gets a tick in my books
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I think the human beings who attempt to sneak into countries with full knowledge they are infected should be classified as biological terrorists
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Imagine if Russell didn't move to Ciara because she already had a son
Imagine if Ciara would’ve stayed with Future just because they have a kid together lmaooo
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Nothing defines poverty better than the lack of choice.
You have a choice because you can afford one. Poor people have to accept what they have to accept because they can't afford any better.
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Do yourself a favour. Study when you don't have to. Most of the discomfort you feel from the trauma of studying is because you were gate crashing your brain. That thing you think you're interested in, that you would love to learn, but you don't think you need immediately, start!
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I remember the INEC Twitter handle vibrating with results from morning till night and receiving commendation.
Who was the person behind the handle then? Where is she? What's different this time? What's really going on 24 hours after the conclusion of polls in most areas?
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Let's do a little gentleman's etiquette for guys thread. Score yourself over 13. 🤚
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