Evan 👻🤘🤙✌️☀️🏝🏖🏄♂️
@EvenMe19
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Following
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Statuses
26,409
Twitter’s funniest 40+ part-time nudist (Results may vary)… Nudity? Yea, probably 😅18+ NSFW/Liberal AF/Simpsons gifs🟰life/🚫 retweet my photos/DMs open
United States
Joined October 2018
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@PastorAlexLove
Is this a joke? Everybody knows there’s another lobster outside the frame manipulating the pen. Duuhhhrrrrrrr.
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“She seemed to be a girl-next-door type, but a quick glimpse at the collection of tiny black panties on her clothesline revealed a naughty side. Were they thongs? Crotchless? Peek-a-boo cheekinis?
Upon closer inspection, they were only her face masks.”
—Erotica writers, 2020
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@Homeoffree61
Because boobs are awesome and they choose to. 🤷♂️
No one has to, and it’s easy to mute or block accounts if it’s that offensive.
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@luvwhiskey_wine
As long as it was only filled with adults, I’d do it for $20 and an Orange Julius.
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@realeverywriter
Yes, maybe not as much physical abuse as women suffer from... but emotional and verbal abuse for sure.
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@TrumpsTaxes
“I want the candidate to EARN my vote.”
“I’m going to agonize again. How I DO this??”
“I’m trans but I’m reluctant.”
🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄
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@damcgee16
@Andie00471
I don’t put anything past anyone anymore. She won’t even resign, she will double down like they all do.
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Content Warning: This is my good friend David B. just hours after being hospitalized from receiving his second Pfizer vaccine on 6/9/2021. Before this, he was a very healthy 36 year old whose clothes fit him & everything.
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@justky1018
This one. Think of it every single time I’m in the produce dept getting groceries.
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@nextdaycorn
@nikostratis
Did he sometimes also say it should instead be called a “very slow brake ruiner” or something??
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@esjesjesj
My god, this man is anything BUT a brilliant businessman. “I paid $44B and oh well.”
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@char_kiwi
@Jim_Jordan
Fixed it.
He’s only tough on those flags where he’s riding tanks and dressed like superman and holding bazookas. Oh that’s right, those are all fake.
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@Moon_River05
But Van Halen taught me the history was it was illegal and if you got caught they called it For Unlawful Carnal Knowledge?
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So wait…
F.U.C.K is trending. And I wondered if it was about the Van Halen album.
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I would be drinking several beers while running naked down the street.
"Donald Trump Indictment Will Cause Country to 'Run Out of Beer': Mary Trump." ~ Newsweek
Ya know.......she COULD be right.....
jus' sayn'...
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We are living in crazy times. I now build jigsaw puzzles in my free time when I used to just spend it masturbating.
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Wow, remember when that fake account fake tweeted about being in a fake coma from a fake overdose for two whole days, and had her fake friend fake tweet about it, all for 10,000 twitter likes?
I member.
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Just saw a black bra in the middle of the road and I bet you someone slingshot that thing out the window on her way home from work to finally set them free after a long day.
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What kind of person turns down “hey wanna take and edible and watch Wayne’s World?” on a Saturday night?
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Got my collection of flannel shirts for the winter out of storage.
Starting to look like Eddie Vedder’s closet.
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@shesbonky
If I had an ass like that, I’d probably wear those shorts everywhere I went (not just the gym). 😂
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Ted Cruz is 51. Alex Jones is 48.
I’m over here like, damn I’m pretty fucking hot for an old guy. 😂
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It’s almost Xmas... time’s almost up, have you tried hanging ornaments on your nipples yet?
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I couldn’t believe I saw this actual sign outside a plant nursery. I had to u-turn to take a picture. 🌳🍆
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@Kindness1717
I just ♥️ the fact that you cannot WAIT to get your clothes off, you start undressing immediately when the meeting ends! 👀🔥😂😂
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Whoa did y’all know this was today?? Not just National… INTERNATIONAL!
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To the woman in front of me at the grocery check out tonight, buying exactly two items—a frozen pizza and a box of wine: I see you. I feel you.
(True story)
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Go and fuck your Twitter crush.
When you’re about to cum, shout out, “I’m exceeding my rate limit!”
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Oh boy, glad I don’t have any neighbors quite this preachy. You gotta really believe in something to get it made onto a metal yard sign and stick it up in front of your house.
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Stuck in this general vicinity for the next several days. 😍
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Back to reality after an amazing tweet-up with my Twitter best friend. Almost 3 years in the making & it finally happened.
I keep looking at our photos to tell myself it was real. What a high; I’ll remember it the rest of my days.
I miss you already. ♥️
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@Wicked_N_Divine
This dude has been doing this forever. 🙄 He acts mad when people spread his photos around but you’re just making him happier. 👎👎
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I got an ad for Swear Bear shot glasses and this was my favorite.
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I’m spending over $1000 to get some stuff fixed on my 16 year old car, mostly because I am too lazy to want to car-shop for a new one right now.
(Someone please tell me this is not a mistake)
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Vagidation:
When a woman who isn’t sure about the way her pussy looks sends you pictures of it & your compliments give her that pussy-power-confidence.
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It’s October. Don’t forget to take off your panties and add them to the cauldron.
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This has to be a joke, right?
Set up in the adult video parking lot... is a food truck selling... wait for it... JERKY.
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My goal this January is just to not be as depressed as I was last January. That is all.
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Did I just take a shower and then spray iced vanilla buttercream scented body spray on my wrists and neck like cologne, just for myself to be able to smell it? Yes I did.
(Send cupcakes. I’m starving.)
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Cheers, cactus.
Yeah it’s another “slide in while I drink this patio beer Wednesday,” but also the first commando in shorts patio beer Wednesday of the season. 🍻
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@Homeoffree61
For some it’s about body acceptance, or newly discovered comfort with themselves, some are exhibitionists (like myself), who knows... a lot of us appreciate and enjoy them.
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@Noneyabznessson
@SeuTesouro
@SethAWeitz
@TerriLa02823141
@bone00afide
Mental health, yes.
Gun problem: fuck yes.
12 year olds don’t need access to guns.
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Tommy Lee tweets his nudes and everyone loses their minds.
Meanwhile I’ve been tweeting mine for 3 years and all I get is muted. 😂
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@RonFilipkowski
This is absolutely hilarious. They go together! So either you never knew who either of them were or you just feel like putting Silk down. Jeez man, even I know they’re a duo! That was their whole thing! 😂😂😂
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I’ve attended women’s marches in the past, and I will be at the next one you need me to attend. 💪✊
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Bars that have these kegs-turned-urinals really are the most satisfying places to pee. It’s almost like a steel drum symphony AND it is the perfect Beer Circle of Life. Return from whence you came.
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I finally have enough followers that sometimes when I post full nudes now, I actually get likes in the double digits.
That’s right, around 10 instead of 4-5. 😮
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This was supposed to be a child’s craft project— it’s a fortune cookie.
Turn it over and it’s something entirely different that also brings good fortune.
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Last night, tweeted a full nude.
By morning, lost 6 followers.
Trying to decide if this is an even trade off. (I think so??) 🤔
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It’s my b-day AND Hump Day! Last year it was on Titty Tuesday. Women of Twitter, help me celebrate & show me dat butt. Don’t have to birthday suit it, show off your yoga pants & short shorts. Shy? My DMs are open. Sure, fleets are over, but my birthday is just getting started. 😃
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Try not to be jealous of my Saturday gourmet lunch.
Yes, that’s 3 —THREE— mustard choices!
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@ShootyDoody
People named Brad— their parents didn’t love them enough to spend more time thinking of a name other than BRAD.
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