bartleby
@ElderBartleby
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The Reverse Apache Master. Monster Energy Drink Sommelier. Documentary Filmmaker.
Joined February 2018
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Pinned Tweet
This was released a little while back on YouTube and it’s one of the best things we’ve produced.
Lots of love went into putting this series together and I hope you’ll give it a watch and support our efforts.
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They’re going to cut him for a fake vax card.
They did not cut him when, earlier in the year, he settled a lawsuit for SEXUAL ASSAULT.
That’s 2021.
Antonio Brown's fake vaccine card drama could cost him job with Buccaneers
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"So I just moved to New York and it's fucking orange and I’m like bro what the fuck is place?"
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It's -7 in Chicago right now. Windchill is -22.
Or, in other words, it's the perfect time to take a walk to go get some Subway.
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@nytimes
I will not live in the pod.
I will not drink the poo water.
I will not eat the bugs.
I will not be a cannibal.
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HAPPENING NOW: Migrants, flown into Martha’s Vineyard by Fl’s governor, are boarding buses. They’ll be heading to Joint Base Cape Cod, according to officials. 125 Mass National Guard members are being activated to assist.
@NBCNews
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CNN's Jake Tapper rips into "misleading" COVID hospitalization numbers.
"We're 2 years into this ... if somebody's in the hospital with a broken leg and they also have asymptomatic COVID, that should not be counted as hospitalized with covid, clearly."
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If Time was being honest - this cover would’ve been two morbidly obese millennials at Disney World decked out in Marvel and Star Wars gear.
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The explanation:
For Santa to deliver gifts to all world's Christians in one night requires hypersonic speeds through Earth’s lower atmosphere, vaporizing his reindeer & sleigh.
Just sayin’.
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Putin telling Viktor Bout that all they had to give up for him was a female basketball player.
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To my killer of skunks, raccoons and bunnies.
To my late night snack companion.
To the doe-eyed Queen of castle.
Rest easy, girl.
Your watch has ended.
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Counterpoint: stairs
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Trump being banned from Twitter was among the worst things to happen to Biden.
If Trump still had his account, the media would cover his tweets 24/7, continued to suck up all the oxygen in the room and fewer people would’ve paid attention to Biden’s numerous fuck ups.
Trump was banned from Twitter not because of his handling of 1/6, but because he would savage Biden every day on this website. change my mind.
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The same people who’ve spent the past two days redefining the meaning of “recession” are laying off employees “to get ahead” of economic uncertainty.
🤷♂️🤷♂️🤷♂️
NEW: Vox Media is laying off 39 people, citing an effort to "get ahead" of economic uncertainty. The cuts mainly target recruiting, sales and some editorial roles.
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Paul Ryan denounces GOP efforts to protect kids from racially divisive & sexual material, telling CBS he's "not a culture war guy" & those issues are "polarizing." Instead, he's focused on China & the debt.
I grew up idolizing him as many 30something conservatives. So lame.
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Joe Biden, two months ago:
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The new MLK statue is basically a plot from one of the best TV shows of the 90s.
BREAKING: The bronze sculpture called “The Embrace” honoring Martin Luther King Jr. and Coretta Scott King has just been unveiled on the Boston Common
#7news
#MLKWeekend
#MLKDay2023
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The “slavery wasn’t taught in my school” narrative is the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever seen on this website.
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Bill Belichick gets a standing ovation and Kim Kardashian gets booed.
The Tom Brady roast is the best thing Netflix has ever produced.
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You can post literal hacked material incl. people’s names and addresses on Twitter.
You cannot post screenshots of things they tweeted, though.
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“If you look closely you can actually pinpoint the exact moment her heart breaks in two”
After ABC's Jon Karl breaks the news that Joe Manchin is a "firm no" on Build Back Better, there were audible sighs from the mostly liberal "powerhouse roundtable" panel.
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The number of drug overdose deaths hit an all-time high in 2020, according to provisional government data.
That number kept climbing into 2021, and the government estimates that 99,000 people died between March 2020 and March 2021 — a 31% increase.
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The story hasn’t been updated since 1:25 ET and does not mention this testimony :
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“She has an OnlyFans? Rachel Dolezal? Wow. I didn't know that. You're just telling me now for the first time.
Listen, whether you agree or not, she’s led an amazing life.”
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Nobody:
The NYT:
Cannibalism has a time and a place. Some recent books, films and shows suggest that the time is now. Can you stomach it?
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A reminder that Forty-one percent of Democrats thought over 50% of COVID cases required hospitalization (the real number is between 1% and 5%).
With Children, it has to be incredibly low and the number on ventilators even more miniscule.
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If the defense had been caught on camera with this reaction to testimony - it would be discussed on every corporate media outlet tonight and brought back up through the remainder of the trial.
I'm guessing that won't be the case here.
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Please, please, please… PLEASE let Howard Stern run for President.
Nobody deserves to be publicly humiliated more than Howard Stern.
Howard Stern wants to run for president to 'overturn all this bulls–t'
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This is equivalent to a journo tweeting out a lie, having it accumulate 500k likes and then, the next day, tweeting out a correction that gets 500 likes.
BIDEN walking it back: "I don't consider any Trump supporter to be a threat. I do think anyone who calls for the use of violence and fails to condemn violence when its used, refuse to acknowledge an election has been won... That is a threat to democracy."
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Tacky, for sure, but at least you knew you were eating in a Wendy’s.
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“Did you see this, did you hear about this?
Millions of Californians posted black squares on their Instagrams last night… it wasn’t in solidarity with BLM, it’s because Gavin Newsom turned off their power.”
CALIFORNIA: We’re now in a Flex Alert.
What does that mean? We all need to conserve as much energy as possible during this record breaking heatwave.
Here’s what to do until 9pm tonight:
- Set thermostats to 78
- Turn off unnecessary lights
- Avoid using large appliances
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Weird.
White House tells businesses to proceed with vaccine mandate despite court-ordered pause
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@DashDobrofsky
Loving the videos, Dash.
My only constructive criticism is that you need to emote more and blink less.
9.9/10 - looking forward to your future work.
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@damintoell
“Me and my partner saw you from across the bar and really dig your vibe.
Will you follow and RT our dRumpf takes?”
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Pictured: Your banned frens on their long journey back from Twitter Helheim.
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"John did great, it's not his format, it took guts, he did better than expected, the Oz rule. . . oh, nevermind"
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When you sit on your hand until it goes numb so you can pretend it’s someone else.
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This guy isn’t going to be fired. He’s going to be promoted.
50/50 shot he speaks at the DNC next year.
75/25 shot he speaks at CPAC in the next decade.
BREAKING: Aidan Maese-Czeropski posts a statement on LinkedIn after having sex in a senate hearing room where he says that he is “being attacked for who I love to pursue a political agenda” and that “I would never disrespect my workplace.”
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NYC hospital ‘Karen’ paid for Citi Bike at center of viral fight with black man: lawyer
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How would state run media look any different?
Some news in
@ReliableSources
: Senior White House and admin officials have been holding briefings with major newsrooms over past week as they try to reshape economic coverage.
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“Progoin. . . Progoin. . . Progoin back to the front lines.”
NYT live updates says Prigozhin claims Wagner forces "turning around"
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The real cost of inflation: two words now cost three words.
Biden: "Let me start off with two words: Made in America."
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The other side despises you so much that they’ve spent the last several hours justifying semi and fully naked men parading around in front of children.
Feels like we’ve managed, somehow, to reach a new bottom.
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The people who argue that the justice system suffers from systemic inequities are mad that a judge is protecting the rights of a defendant.
Kind of gives the game away, tbh.
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I took my kids to see Mario Bros.
My biggest takeaway is that the media hates Chris Pratt so much they review bombed a really entertaining film.
It’s a a really good family movie. Captures the spirit of the games.
Theater was packed. Kids loved it.
Go see it.
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"Strike hard. Strike fast. No mercy."
Apparently Trump was awarded an honorary 9th Degree black belt in Taekwondo yesterday.
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@FoxNews
I really like Billy Football, and I’m genuinely worried that he might accidentally end up in jail as a result of this run.
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If John Fetterman’s team had ever been "clear and open" about his "auditory processing challenges” . . . he probably wouldn’t be in the Senate right now.
Sen
@JohnFetterman
's team is calling out detractors who mocked the senator's health struggles while questioning witnesses at a hearing.
The junior Pennsylvania senator's team says they have been "clear and open" about his "auditory processing challenges."
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Sorry, that brain damaged Chud is ours now.
Now
@JohnFetterman
is telling everyone how he's not a progressive, he rejects us and is now calling Harvard "pinko." What the fuck? This is why people lose hope, because of frauds like Fetterman. You work hard to get a progressive elected and they turn into Republicans instantly.
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Remember when an overweight voter in Iowa asked Joe Biden about his son's activity in Ukraine and accused him of selling access to the presidency (which a whistleblower recently alleged as well) and Joe called the voter "fat" and challenged him to a push-up contest?
If you are mocking Senator John Fetterman or even Biden for the issues they have speaking, you are no better than the childhood bullies we teach our children not to be.
The motivation to use disabilities to shame people and groups of people is something that shows your own
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