Prison Mitch
@MidnightMitch
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Assistant to the Press Secretary of FL. Memer.
The Free State of Florida
Joined April 2020
Me when I fix my parents TV by changing the input to HDMI 1:
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🚨Breaking Now🚨: President Joe Biden makes his first video address following dropping out of the Presidential race.
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The front of the The back of the.Christmas tree: Christmas tree:
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I'm not like a regular mom. I'm a train mom.
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Floridians RN:
There's a Russian naval group, including a nuclear submarine, off the coast of Florida right now.
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This is legit one of the funniest things he has done. I’m gonna miss stuff like this.
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🚨Breaking Now🚨: A portion of Joe Biden’s prerecorded Oval Office address, scheduled for tomorrow night at 8PM ET has been leaked.
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ASMR - Relaxing Sounds For Conservatives: Trump Signing Executive Orders (No Vocals / 1 Hour)
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The election if Trump does a job on a garbage route this week:
WATCH: President Joe Biden: "The only garbage I see floating out there is [Trump] supporters."
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Washington D.C. tomorrow when you ban Zyns
Philip Morris suspends nationwide sales on Zyn online after D.C. subpoena, per Reuters.
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British people when the temperature hits the high 70’s:
UK to be blasted by 48 hour 26C heatwave with five cities in England the hottest
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When you’re black out drunk at the bar and someone plays Creed on the jukebox:
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Scottie Scheffler walking out to the first tee box at Valhalla:
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THIS GIVES ME HOPE!! 🇺🇸🙏🏼. Fraternity brothers are pelted by anti-Israel protesters at UNC Chapel Hill while protecting the United States flag as it is re-hoisted following its removal by protesters. Thank God there are young people who understand what it means to respect our
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I love how they just memory holed Doug Emhoff slapping a woman.
Breaking: Former model alleges Donald Trump groped her in what felt like a ‘twisted game’ with Jeffrey Epstein
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Jen Psaki: "My advice to everyone out there who's frustrated, sad, angry, pissed off, feel those emotions, go to a kickboxing class, have a margarita. ". UNREAL. How is this the "advice" that is now coming from the White House?
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BREAKING: An “LGBTQ” group in Florida has cancelled a Pride parade as @GovRonDeSantis.is set to sign a bill into law banning kids from attending drag shows. Think about that. These people only want to hold Pride events if kids will be there. GROOMERS.
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“Bros before hoes.”. - Joe Biden
Governor DeSantis and Mayor Castor – if you need any additional resources as we prepare for Hurricane Milton to make landfall, you give me a call. We’re here for you as long as it takes.
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Hezbollah is the victor.
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BREAKING: the Georgia school sh**ter had a discord account where he wrote his intentions to commit a school sh**ting and expressed frustration about trans acceptance. His father revealed that Colt was bullied for being gay. It’s time to have a national conversation about the
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INBOX:
St. Louis Park district agrees to let Muslim families opt out of LGBT curriculum
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BIDEN: "Look at the heat I'm getting because I, I named a, uh, the, uh, secretary of defense — the black man" 🥴
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Check it out, guys. The Harris/Walz yard signs have a new “I want to lose every swing state” flavor.
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🚨Breaking Now🚨: President Joe “Dank Brandon” Biden addresses his ‘garbage’ comments.
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“Now flood her house.”
Ellen DeGeneres’s UK mansion ‘floods’ just weeks after she fled the US ‘due to Donald Trump’s presidential win’
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Ahhhhhh I’m a Haitian politician I’m going to drink some water!
WATCH . A Haitian politician sips from a massive jug of water during his speech at the UN General Assembly.
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Remember that time @starwars had to edit out John Boyega from their poster in China
There are more than 20 million sentient species in the Star Wars galaxy, don’t choose to be a racist.
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“Sell Jaguar stock.”
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Pee is stored in Keith’s eyeballs.
@GuntherEagleman Those aren't tears, Fascist. They're urine. I'm sure you enjoy being bathed in it.
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A question worth asking on the record.
Is killing more than 200 Palestinian civilians worth 4 Israeli hostages?. A question worth asking on the record. Also why is Bibi rejecting all the ceasefire for hostages deals? . (Because he cares more about staying in power and continuing the war.).
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🚨Breaking Now🚨: President Joe “Dank Brandon” Biden addresses President Trump defeating Kamala Harris in the 2024 election:
Decision Desk HQ projects Donald J. Trump wins the Presidential election in Pennsylvania. #DecisionMade: 1:21am ET. Follow live results here:.
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Cricket in heaven watching Kristi Noem have the VP nod taken from her:
Kristi Noem has ‘no shot’ as Trump’s VP pick after puppy-killing controversy: sources
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When you call them migrants and they haven’t even left Haiti yet:
Elon Musk and conservative influencers have spread unverified claims to millions, smearing Haitian migrants as cannibals as they endure deep uncertainty about the future of their country and family members still there.
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Libs right now:
Somebody at the White House finally applied bronzer to the president
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🚨Breaking Now🚨: President Joe “Dank Brandon” Biden addresses the pardon of his son, Hunter Biden:
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*zooms out*
Hi. My name is David Gins. I work for Vice President Harris on behalf of the American people as Deputy Director for Operations and absolutely love my job. Just thought some of you should know 😀
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Biden spokeswoman: Joe Biden will be “very energized” at the presidential debate.
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This is the reason we are fighting this war. Welcome home Noa, Shlomi, Almog and Andrey.
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Me and the boys when the Feds come to raid the Zyns from our local 7/11:
Chuck Schumer now wants the government to crack down on Zyn calling it a "pouch full of problems.". Mr. Schumer, this will be your one and only warning on behalf of all the fellas: Do not cross that Rubicon. You will have reaped the whirlwind and you will pay the price.
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I’m cracking up that there’s 44,000 hours of J6 footage but no security cameras saw two dudes banging in the senate chambers.
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The state of New York with they see an adorable pet squirrel:
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Guaranteed there are zero Mugshawtys in this group.
People arrested at the @UF protest this evening (this thread will be updated as they're booked into the jail):. 1. Keely Nicole Gliwa, 23. Charges: Failure to obey a police officer, resisting an officer without violence, wearing a hood or mask on public property
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When Tim Walz tries to impose a 95% tax on Zyn:
Tim Walz Imposed 95 Percent Tax on Zyn in Minnesota.
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Eric Swalwell RN:
I landed at DCA this evening at 8:42pm, IAH—DCA, minutes before an in-flight collision over the airport. My thoughts are with all involved and their families. Hoping first responders find survivors.
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Yeah, he’s on the spectrum.
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Do not fill plastic bags with gasoline.
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🚨Breaking Now🚨: President Joe “Dank Brandon” Biden addresses the scandal involving the First Gentleman, Doug Emhoff.
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New paid endorsement just dropped:
Dylan Mulvaney breaks cover to take out the trash amid firestorm caused by Bud Light and Nike deals
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Tim Walz when his unit got orders to go to Iraq:
Tim Walz ‘embellished’ military career ‘for years,’ dropped from National Guard unit ahead of Iraq deployment
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“Karine, this isn’t working out like we planned. No, they’re not reading the second tweet in the thread and instead they’re just memeing and shitposting the first one.”
I'm sick.
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Me: *Turns on #SheHulk to see if it’s as bad as everyone says it will be*. SheHulk: *two seconds in*
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I got to see the Biden animatronic at the Disney Hall of Presidents today and I have to say, it is incredibly detailed and accurate. ( 🔊 🔊 on)
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How a truck driver spent $153 on his N.J. election campaign to likely dethrone a political kingpin
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Photo released of “Texan” Shamsud Din Jabbar
Man. He was born and raised in Texas. Could have been any other regular ol Texan with a name like Shamsud Din Jabbar.
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Sir, a 12th fella has ran through Nikki Haley.
12 fellas down. 1 to go.
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🚨Breaking Now🚨: President Joe “Dank Brandon” Biden delivers remarks on the state of the U.S. economy and the health of financial markets
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If “As per my last email” was a person.
Colorado Secretary of State Jena Griswold looks like she’s about to cry on MSNBC:. “It will be up to the American voters to save our democracy.” .
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Gonna be wild when they tell him he dropped out.
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Kamala Harris RN:
Pres. Biden asked by a reporter if Gov. DeSantis needs to take VP Harris' calls on hurricanes. Biden: "All I can tell you is I've talked to Gov. DeSantis. He's been very gracious. He's thanked me for all we've done. He knows what we're doing and I think that's important."
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