Doodle Chronicles
@DoodleChronicle
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Lived experience with severe mental illness, IBD & gastroparesis. Student nurse. Aiming to reduce the stigma, misconceptions & loneliness of illness.
Joined October 2014
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A common situation in mental health services, especially for people who are in crisis or have especially chronic & complex illnesses.
#mentalhealth
#mentalillness
#personalitydisorder
#depression
#anxiety
#bipolar
#ocd
#psychosis
#psychology
#psychiatry
#chronicillness
#bpdchat
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I have an announcement that I can't quite believe:
Today I have been offered a place to study Nursing!
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TW suicide
I dreamt all night about the psychiatrist who told my mum that I would "complete suicide" within the year, so there was no point in arranging the care recommended by other professionals (care co, psychology etc)
Life might be shit but that was 9 years ago & I'm here
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Celebrating that in fact I AM fit to practice!!! Smashed it with the OH psychiatrist: he has absolutely no concerns, other than about the original OH doctor.
Watch this space for what I decide to do with my next year, but regardless I WILL be starting nursing within 12 months :D
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@stephenfry
There are just 12 hours left to donate, helping me fight the stigma of mental illness through doodles:
http://t.co/Txkvf5zjPC
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To everyone whose mental illness is telling them otherwise right now: I know you can conquer this mountain. Love xx
http://t.co/97MqYr91q3
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Not cancer!
There are pre-cancerous/concerning cells, but it isn't cancer.
Tests are pointing very strongly towards Inflammatory Bowel Disease and my symptoms are as bad as ever, but this is obviously the best of news!
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Well I've just had the best treatment of self harm that I've ever experienced. I was given painkillers for the first time ever, and treated like a human throughout. I was shown kindness and an amazing level of care. I have never been so touched and inspired by a healthcare prof!
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So important!
#mentalhealth
#acceptance
#selfcompassion
#boundaries
#depression
#anxiety
#personalitydisorder
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Take care this Christmas, folks. Your health comes first, always.
Lots of love, Molly xx
#mentalhealth
#selfcare
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Oh my goodness, I have somewhere to live! The housing lady has been absolutely astounding and worked miracles...I may even get the keys in a few weeks!!!
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#BellLetsTalk
Because you never know what hides behind a smile. Mental illness may be invisible but it is very real.
http://t.co/txFCE6WSua
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@GrassrootsSP
I hope my doodles can raise awareness of mental illness, fight stigma & help others feel less alone.
http://t.co/2UWwp1MTgc
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Crisis team were supposed to call today to arrange 3x distress tolerance skill sessions with me. Kept my phone with me in my scrubs all day and it is now almost 8pm on a Friday... they're not calling, are they? 🙄
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Psychologist taught me an easy way to differentiate between Guilt and Shame today:
Guilt = I have done something bad
Shame = I *am* bad.
Turns out, all the times I say I feel guilty, I'm actually feeling ashamed.
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I can't believe I have stayed 2 nights at my new flat! Unexpected bonuses: I slept better in my bed than I ever imagined possible, so much being unpacked that I can use my snazzy new kitchen stuff, feeling at home 🏡❤
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It's
#TimeToTalk
because living within the 'box' of mental illness is hard enough without stigma & misunderstanding.
http://t.co/4wU7bebnM0
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I have just been ruled fit to start nursing in September!!!! 😁
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A year in to my treatment at a PD unit following a positive & pragmatic CPA this week, mum & I are of to the star-studded
@lesmisofficial
concert, front row. Not just exciting (once-in-a-lifetime) but also miraculous as I would have been far too unwell a year ago.
#smallvictories
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Never underestimate what a huge challenge it can be for some people just to make it through each day.
#mentalillness
http://t.co/bxVRDo77Jj
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Please don't suffer in silence - even when NHS services decrease over the holidays, there are people to talk to.
@MindCharity
@samaritans
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Please take
#TimeToTalk
& ask someone fighting mental illness how they are: you never know what hides behind a smile.
http://t.co/9XCxm6clkF
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After 6 months at an inpatient unit specialising in treatment of personality disorders, today I have finally been able to write about some hope for the future & the beginnings of change - things I never thought I'd experience.
#mentalhealth
#MentalIllness
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All of a sudden it is my last night in hospital!!!!!
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@MindCharity
Please could you share this info for those looking for support with their mental health? Thank you!
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Oh my god, it's all been confirmed: very evident inflammatory bowel disease in a very active severe flare-up, despite 6 weeks of steroids. I can't explain how relieved I am to finally have a definitive diagnosis. Now, we can plan and work out how I can get back to living life.
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Psychiatric hospitals live in a completely different dimension where people get confused or concerned if you haven't eaten your dinner (last meal of the day) by 5.10pm, <4 hours after lunch, and 15 hours before breakfast.
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I actually just typed "I truly think coming to this unit could be the thing that changes and saves my life."
Astonished.
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Social Anxiety Feedback Form: How to Escape the Blackness Following Socialising. (If only!)
#anxiety
#mentalhealth
http://t.co/RKZE5JBIfV
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It's my Rosie's birthday and I can't believe she is 3! My three cats are, without a doubt, the three best decisions of my life. My Rosie is gentle and caring, quirky and funny. If me or any of her siblings are upset, she is there in an instant. I love her more than words can say.
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Taking a moment to celebrate getting 88 on my first nursing essay, 18 over the 70 needed for a first!
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Life with
#anxiety
: like battling a starving lion.
#mentalhealth
@MindCharity
http://t.co/iuFEAggbhF
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I was very lucky to have received this beautiful bunch of flowers that matches my wallpaper spectacularly 🥰
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Bloody hell the doctor actually listens! Likes me writing things down and agreed with all my thoughts. :)
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It's
#TimeToTalk
because even the smallest gestures can help break through the darkness & seclusion of mental illness
http://t.co/TsNBlotbyH
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Mental illness can make you feel like your very being is fraying and unravelling.
#mentalhealth
#depression
#anxiety
http://t.co/mMVYC6sYdm
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My deferred offer is confirmed...I will be starting Adult Nursing at University on 14th September 2021! :D
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After 6 months on an acute psychiatric ward, today I am finally home! I cannot begin to express what a relief that is.
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#BellLetsTalk
Because asking for help with mental illness should be as easy as asking for help with physical illness.
http://t.co/XcYYBNYibl
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If I could sum up my life in one sentence.
From an email from CPN 🤣
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The MOST meaningful moments have been psychologist saying "Molly, this isn't about me, but I want you to know that I'm so sad to hear that."
How did you know your mental health professional was (or was not) emotionally present in any given interaction? Guidance for profs, please!
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For the first time in a decade, a mental health professional has truly wanted to work with me through my distress and with risks widely being acknowledged as at the highest level. She is actually being *with* me in those places and helping me to find & build a path through it.
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I AM FULLY VACCINATED!
I know how to celebrate... a piece of banana bread in the car 😊
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It's 3 years since I was discharged from psychiatric hospital for the final time, after 10 years that were 90% admissions. Life isn't easy, I still remain quite unwell & I still battle suicidality...but I have my home and I have my cats, which is more than I'd ever hoped for.
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@AnxietyUK
Hi, I hope my doodles might help those with
#depression
&
#anxiety
feel less alone + boost understanding.
http://t.co/JFilxXGfwW
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"Some days...life is just about putting one foot in front of the other"
RT "
@BekaWrites
:
http://t.co/TZ7OaphPPj"
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Just coming away from a uni open day for nursing. Even more certain it is the right thing for me. Amazed I got to and through the open day, feeling more confident about myself.
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Tonight's doodle: reflecting on today, my dianoses and my inability to ask for the help that I so desperately need.
http://t.co/efaswKUQZ9
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My little snug/safe space is finally coming together! This could make all the difference during those difficult times - a safe little cocoon with my egg chair, soft things, and some sensory items.
It was just a cupboard - but it was definitely the right thing to do with it!
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"You're worth it, Molly"
4 words said today by my therapist/the director of the hospital.
4 words that mean more than I can ever say.
4 words that I still don't believe, but that are starting to weed their way in to my understanding due to the respect & care shown to me here.
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My mum was so lovely and organised a coffee machine to be delivered today so that I actually get hot drinks in isolation! It was a fight to actually get possession of it but it is all set up now, ready for a hot choc tonight and coffee in the morning 😊
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Going out of my comfort zone to try to make an abstract watercolour card for my mum's birthday
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No matter what our
#mentalillness
tells us, we ARE strong enough to get through this.
#depression
#anxiety
http://t.co/uwUY2nBvpa
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3 years since discharge from my last placement, after 10 years in various hospitals/placements. Life has had its twists and turns since, but it feels like a different lifetime. Many thought I'd never make it to my 30s, let alone have managed a period like this in the community.
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Score! Corner seats, tea AND biscuits! I'm a bit closed in by boxes but that's strategic as it's one less human neighbour 🤣
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Finished a painting for a friend today. First ever complete watercolour! There is lots of room for improvement but I'm happy nonetheless 😊
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The crisis team manager just gave me this as she said goodbye. I am still in floods of tears.
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@mindapples
My simple doodles aim to raise awareness of
#mentalillness
, reduce stigma & help others feel less alone.
http://t.co/IfXUVuEId5
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An excellent piece from
@rubyetc
- so true! RT "
@RxHappyPills
: This is why I live online.
http://t.co/m9oxawX1R8"
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Well this little sweetheart will be coming to live with me and Hope when I'm discharged and I am already in love 😍
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Lovely leave: walking to/from Borehamwood in the sunshine, getting to know a member of staff over coffee and treating myself to new stationary ahead of starting the therapy program next week :)
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I challenge anyone to experience the overwhelming, debilitating exhaustion that shadows
#depression
& still say that it's 'all in our heads'
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Mental illness doesn't take a break over the holidays; the box is still there.
#depression
#anxiety
#mentalhealth
http://t.co/p2JTkwcwCL
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@GeorgeMonbiot
I'd be more grateful than I can say if you could please share my crowdfunding page: I am using my art to raise money to try to help build a safe home as a base to stabilise and get back on track with hard fought for mental health recovery.
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Life with mental illness: a story of strength, not shame.
#MentalHealth
#NoStigma
@MindCharity
@BlurtAlerts
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Managed to get those super cheap tickets to Wicked tomorrow. It is very close to home & mum is coming with me as my carer, so I will do everything I can to make sure I get there as it is the one & only good of recent months - I so need another win. There needs to be some good.
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Celebrating the small achievements: this is the first time I've finished a piece of colouring in months and months.
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No matter how insignificant you feel, the world would be less vibrant without you.
#mentalhealth
#suicide
#hope
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@matthaig1
#reasonstostayalive
(a mural I've put up on the wall of my room in psych ward - desperately fighting)
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Wearing new dress for CPA even thought it's virtual 🤦♀️
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Have you ever wondered what Mentalization Based Treatment (MBT) for Personality Disorder is?
I've created a summary of the model and concepts with guidance from one of the MBT Practitioners at my placement.
#MentalHealth
#Therapy
#Psychology
#BPD
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Message of the morning: Please don't leave friends struggling with mental illness alone. Just being there, listening & hugging saves lives.
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First night in our new home...a little later than expected, but it is perfect. Wouldn't have made it without the help of amazing people ❤️
Proper pictures to follow when unpacked!
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So, I'm pretty sure I'm going to be interviewed about doodles on BBC radio tomorrow...just your average Sunday...
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A reminder:
Emotions DO pass (yes, even this one!)
I struggle so much to remember this & have just been through a patch where I was sure this wasn't true. So I have created my first Doodle Chronicles art for a while to remind myself & anyone else who needs it.
#mentalhealth
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Quick drawing this evening - first time I've picked up my pens in months.
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@mikeycobban
I'd be so grateful if you could please share my crowdfunding page with 48 hours to go: I'm using my art to raise money to try to help build a safe home as a base to stabilise & get back on track with hard fought for mental health recovery
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Thank goodness - occupational health feel I need a second opinion!
Still can't breathe yet, need to take it in!
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I've got my final loading dose of my infusion on Friday before starting on the regular program - please keep everything crossed that this is where it starts to work 🤞
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I'm having a tough time at the moment but am trying to force myself to see this for the positive that it is - my offer for nursing has become unconditional today!
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Starting to get the hang of felting(?).
Plus worked out crafts are better when I do my own thing, not follow designs/patterns.
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First birthday out of hospital/placement in 5 years ✅️
First birthday without intense crisis team support/inpatient care in 8 years ✅️
Next level towards living a life I can love unlocked 🔑
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Graduated from MBT-i (initial education in to the therapy program) today - whoop whoop!
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