Dolly
@DollyMiddlemiss
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Following
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41,815
Supply Teacher, Outreach Mentor, and Actor. I believe in equality for all, creativity, and play in every classroom.
Shrewsbury, England
Joined August 2017
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I'm never going to actually retire. I'll just die instead. It'll save on pension payouts. Is that the idea?
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Des Moines is the centre of a mystical convergence, where weird stuff happens and Elvis serves the burgers (take away only)
@neilhimself
Surely one of the finest pieces of journalism of all time? The headline alone is award winning.
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@anon_opin
Freelance means we have the skills, experience, and qualifications for actual employment on our own terms.
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@paysupplystaff
@joanna_brady
@NEUnion
@NASUWT
@Keir_Starmer
@AngelaRayner
If you need anyone to voice an opinion, ask me. I'm a supply teacher and Covid-19 positive after working in a primary school. Let me speak for those of us now living with this. This is not like flu. Whatever anyone imagines it is, forget it. Schools need protection now
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@BernardLonergan
@BigDoyler16
@NetflixUK
Colleen Rooney wanted to vote on Brexit via a referendum, but Rebekah Varady said it was unconstitutional to insist on proroguing before such a vote. Colleen said that was deflection and irrelevant, and her antidisestablishmentarilism was treasonous. Or something, like that.
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@sirkeeth
@JoeStephenson96
I am now identifying as a gay man for the purposes of exploiting The Sun
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@JonnyWorst
@jk_rowling
@Keir_Starmer
Can you explain how trans rights redefine womanhood? As a cisgender woman, I feel I've missed something, because I don't understand. This isn't a jibe at all. I really do want to hear your perspective
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@JasonArnopp
Dr Strangelove, Or How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love The 30-50 Feral Hogs
#moviehogs
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@Flookster2
@Markgatiss
What has progress over the 20th century ever done for us?
Other than sanitation, post-14 education, free health care, social housing & welfare, universal sufferage, greater equality for women & the LGBTQ community, an end to colonism, racism and fascism being recognised as evil?
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@TsuiAllen
@UntitledTeacher
I'm a POOT - Pissed Off Older Teacher, happily pootling along, but with a secret hankering for when life was better (it wasn't, we've just forgotten) and sits in the corner mumbling in meetings
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@theAliceRoberts
It's very distressing news from a nation that prides itself on culture and history. I'm aghast. That the Museum in Cardiff faces closure because it is disrepair is appalling. It is one of Cardiff's most beautiful and loved places. St Fagans is certainly well loved.
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@jessphillips
@MailOnline
Lamp post quizzed as it leaps in front of Tory man's car.
There, fixed it. As will inevitably prove to be true...
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@MetroUK
Doesn't that depend if it's a just a good night out or a weekender? And why are you sharing with the kids? They can get their own
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@darrengrimes_
We wrote the ECHR. It protects our rights. You haven't really thought about this, have you?
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@deputygrocott
Teachers tell other people's children to behave in the street, or just give them 'the stare'
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@etaknipsa
No way! Ha! For 15p, I'll sell you the application form I filled in that said the name of the wrong school on the front page... 😉
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@stopvaccinating
@elonmusk
It's not weaponised. It's being used for its intended use: to fact check. If we believe the information is wrong, we have as much right to state that as you have to state your truth. A right to reply is only fair. If you want to speak, you should allow others the same courtesy
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@SoVeryBritish
Anything Americans think British people say that we never actually do, like "pip pip" or "cor blimey, guv'nor"
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@JolyonMaugham
@MarinaPurkiss
At 7.30pm I told the DWP that I wasn't a carer anymore because my father had died. By 9.15am the next morning they'd made an appointment for me to change my work commitments. I've lost my Dad, and I'll lose half my UC money as well. Probate takes months. How do I cope?
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@doctorow
I'm English. I need 3 daily medications. I pay National Insurance, based on my pay, and £10.45 a month to cover prescription costs. My parents, both 80+, have complex medical needs, including cancer, dementia, and MS. They pay nothing for meds etc, because they live in Wales
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@quantick
My parents said, "we saw the Beatles at the Granada in town. It's the bingo hall now, which is a shame because we liked going there," as if the state of the Granada is the most important part of that story.
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@ManMadeMoon
Ivanka now stands outside popular party venues, hoping to be invited in. This has never happened.
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@dannywallace
@paulmasonnews
We all have access to Cheesy Wotsits and a shared bottle of White Lightening. This is neo-Aldism
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@MooseAllain
I always have to spell me surname out. I'm a supply teacher and 90% of everyone can't cope with my name. So I automatically say, I'm Emma Middlemiss, there's a Miss at the beginning, a miss at the end and a middle in the middle
#timesaver
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@Dominic2306
Did that make sense in your head? Perhaps a trip to Barnard Castle will clear your mind a bit.
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@nationaltrust
@NTChedworth
Under floor heating
Or sprung flooring enabling early renditions of Riverdance and Dirty Dancing, where nobody put Hadrian in the corner
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@FakeHeadteacher
- "Experience counts for nothing" when you cost too much/aren't trendy (but still bloody good)
- You take people seriously when they criticize you, even though they're idiots
- We over analyse ourselves because that's what we are trained to do (focus on CPD etc can be unhealthy)
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Ah, this takes me back to 1995. My first teacher Christmas, far from home, with a class of cherubs in deepest Leigh-on-Sea... 🎵 and the anjels saaang fer 'im... king of all wald🎵
It's time to give our regular "Old School Assembly Hymn" feature a Christmas twist!
Our first "Festive Favourite" is a much-loved gem. Written in 1964, by Salvation Army Officer Joy Webb, this tune has been a popular choice in assemblies, nativities & carol concerts ever since.
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@DrJaninaRamirez
@ChrisGPackham
@ChrisFarrelly
Be who you are. If people don't like it, stuff 'em. Being your authentic self is the only way to express free speech in an honest and open way. To cover yourself up is both deceitful and unfair. Being in a state of congruence earns respect, ultimately.
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How is dark matter? Or...
How does dark matter?
How does dark matter matter?
Does dark matter matter?
Did dark matter ever matter?
Why does dark matter matter?
If dark matter matters,
Does it matter more in
Shrodinger's Box or out of it?
Inspired by
@MichaelRosenYes
#wordplay
A recent
@newscientist
cartoon about Dark Matter.
See more of my science cartoons online here:
Or get a book of them here:
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@CountessCommon1
She wasn't prepared for Royal life, lost in the etiquette, and given no support, despite wanting to learn, was her implication. Breaking into that class as an outsider when you're not welcome is practically impossible
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@KateSpitzmiller
@Liberator_hen
And now we have a glut of pandemic movies NOBODY wants to see, because we've been there, done that, lost people, argued with people on twitter until we've lost all faith in humanity and now can't stand anything or anyone, so can't wait for the next apocalypse, thanks.
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@simonharris_mbd
@JaneyGodley
@MhairiBlack
This makes you a brigand. I fancy being a popsie or a floozie, but fear I have grown too old, so may now be bohemian mad aunt instead
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@fredchever
@jk_rowling
It's because she has the money that she thinks she can get away with it. The fact that I now feel diminished as a woman into fearing predators everywhere and for not being a mother at all, because of all the vicious ranting she's stirred up, is heartbreaking 💔
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@Ttravelseries
@MichaelRosenYes
And yeh, Boris spake unto the multitudes, "look unto mine eyen, not around mine eyes, but into them, and see, that I did not attend a party, only a work event and definitely did not partake of that delicious and plump Chocolate Cake," and they did elect him UN ambassador
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@ShedsKatie
I was being assessed for my Forest School Leader certificate. There were cows in the field, dead trees, half a dead pigeon, and a child stuck up a tree, BEFORE I fell, one leg in and one leg out, waist deep in to a badger hole like the Vicar of Dibley. It didn't go well
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@jdpoc
I've reported it. That'll do as much good as whistling in the wind, but you never know. It's awful that he thinks he can do that; not only because it's a complete violation of her privacy, but also of the hypocrisy of an upstanding pillock of society sneering at 'scum' in his tl
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@RogersHistory
I'm a supply teacher and an ex-classteacher for nearly 25 years, does that, therefore, make me qualified to say that banks and supermarkets should give profits to
#NHSworkers
and
#EssentialWorkers
at the end of this pandemic?
#justsaying
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@DanWuori
My gran said to never go to a crying baby. She also said that she loved her dog more than my mother and that children should be seen and not heard. I remember her hugging me twice in my life with affection.
My other grandmother was the complete opposite. Guess which one I mourn?
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@smithsmm
For me, it's the whole interrogation process that puts me off. The pre-application visit, the teaching a class you don't know in front of people you don't know, then having an interview, and the waiting... I know from the school's point of view these are important, but wowzers.
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@MarcWillcox
@DrCWebbBAPhD
No way! I've been telling children that T-Rexes died out because Stegosauruses' plates were made of the same stuff as flying saucer sweets and they made all T-Rexes lose their teeth because they ate them all up and they couldn't brush their teeth because their arms were too small
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@etaknipsa
@firth_powell
I've been told I'm not allowed in the staff room as a supply teacher in some placements 🤨 They may not be ones I return to again
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@BladeoftheS
@Soriafriasoria
I'm voting Labour. I like the candidate here
@JBuckleyLabour
a lot. The current Tory MP has had a safe seat for a long time. He's not a good person (I know him too well) and we need change. Julia is exactly the right one!
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@BeezySteder
@DCDoc33
Breaking news: someone fails to realise that one person's actions don't stop with them. She caught it from someone, she will have passed it to someone else, so will they. The number of people infected may have increased five fold with each level of infection.
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@joemuggs
@quantick
@MysteriosoX
When my grandmother died, we found a pewter tankard engragved with the name Geoff in her pantry. We have no idea who Geoff was or how his tankard got there, but if ever a man was going to have a tankard engraved, it would be a Geoff.
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@toryboypierce
@TheBMA
You're so on the money (and not letting anyone else have any). I mean, after all, who needs doctors, teachers, and other public professionals? What do you do again? How much do you get paid for that?
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@daraobriain
I'm so proud he's my MP. Every time I see him in the street, I think 'yay!' Then I pop back into this universe and die a little inside when I realise that he's the very opposite of who want to represent me and everything I believe in.
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@gal56363358
@thosethatcan
@RetirementTales
Oh no! I'm having flashbacks of hearing children read that (over and over again). Pg 1 Help. Pg 2 Help. Pg 3 Help. Pg 4 Help me. Pg 5 Help me. Pg 6 Help me here etc. OMG
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@brian_bilston
Hold your fremonies equidistant from enimonies and ummm..?
You occasional reminder that “Fremony at the library” remains the funniest and most comprehensive misprint in the history of the printed word.
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@rhipratchett
In a dream, I met your Dad, and he made me a cup of tea. I go to the memory of that as a happy place when I need it. Look after yourself. I'll make you a pot of tea, if you want one, whenever you need one, even if it's just a happy place dream xzxz
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@frankcottrell_b
Absolutely agree. I see lots of teachers and bookshops using the same familiar things over and over again. I like the Very Hungry Caterpillar and Room on the Broom ... But there are other books. A large selection of books is like a wide vocabulary, it should be an exploration
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@WorldBollard
@SaxAndSuitcase
It happens to every bollard from time to time, it's nothing to be ashamed of.
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@GrundyOxford
We have a naughty step for each offence.
We use passive aggression to annoy each other.
We are twats.
We have a BMW.
We go to Center Parcs in term time because it's cheaper and say the kids were ill.
We have a motor home and argue about jet skis.
We lack original thought.
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@MrDanielBuck
@chrisbuttimer
Teachers rarely say their job is harder than others'. What we want is recognition. Our actions have life altering effects on children; if we don't, our efforts are wasted. They can open doors (or slam them). The biggest influences in our lives taught us something about ourselves
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Suddenly, I've felt overcome by being on my own and by missing people I love. I've not felt it until now, and I know it won't last, but it's a gorram chin wobbler
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@MrJoeGooch
If no-one pulls, they are transported, like the Tardis, in their poo pods, to a far distant planet to never be seen again. Or Milton Keynes.
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@EricIdle
👍It isn't jingoistic or extolling the virtues of England. Blake wasn't about that at all. It's about how he saw the country being corrupted by industry and hypocritical religious types ("binding with briars/my joys and desires", The Chapel of Love). The whole tone is angry
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@SteveFoxAST
@RogersHistory
It is a truth universally acknowledged that whatever teachers do, they will be seen to be doing it wrong, children are paragons of virtue, parents are never to blame, and something must be done about it yesterday.
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@pembs_flyer
@mentallygreat
@ivantoney24
Calling people out is important. He did exactly the right thing. What would you have done in the same situation?
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