Darla the Darling
@DarlaTheDarling
Followers
8,808
Following
5,484
Media
4,827
Statuses
106,090
Common sense coupled connoisseur of constitutional law and comedic content. I comment on crapola.
Joined September 2016
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GCF HEADLINER LISA
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#precure
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PRETTY GIRL MANTRA
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#MostRequestedLive
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Pinned Tweet
I swear Americans like cheese more than they like each other.
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@OnlyInLVNV
I wish people understood that their "freedum" doesn't give them the right to do whatever they want on private property.
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@Brycematic
@MightyAvocado
I watch people defend behaviours that make women feel uncomfortable like “it’s only a catcall”.
THIS is the reason we get uncomfortable.
THIS is the reason we take these actions as threats.
I’m so sorry the world lost another beautiful woman. :(
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I don't want a guy with a huge dick.
It's a vagina not a clown car.
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Me to 19 year old child: What did you order on YouTube for $20?
19: I don’t want to tell you.
Me: Was it porn?
19: It’s worse.
Me: What was it?
19: Beverly Hills Chihuahua 1 and 2
😆😆😆
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@RVAT2020
Canadian here. It’s true. We do watch in horror as Trump has lied and gaslighted you. We are so thrilled to see you waking up because Americans deserve better. ♥️
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Okay I’m just going to say it:
Alpha males are losers.
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You know what women really want in a relationship?
To not be your mother.
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I just turned 45. Guess what I got for my birthday. If you get it right I’ll give you a surprise.
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Dear Thirsty Men of Twitter,
How about instead of DMing me for blow jobs, you get your wives to message me and I’ll encourage them to suck your dicks instead?
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Dear America,
You deserve better.
Love,
Canada
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@Ayishat_Akanbi
I heard something one day that really spoke to me. It said, "Don't follow your passion. Follow your curiosity."
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@TheMapleForce
@cbcnewsbc
@BillBlair
You don’t know what happened? A girl was dragged by her arms while on her stomach down a hallway by a police officer who then proceeded to use her boot to push the girl’s head down.
This officer needs to be terminated. Period.
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@cmclymer
I don’t want her to find peace.
I want her to know the contempt and abuse we are subjected to because my son is trans. I want her to know how scared I am every time my son leaves our house. I want her to know the anger I feel as she uses feminism to exclude my kid from society.
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What do people who message “Hi” want from us?
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Touching someone’s genitals with ice cold hands is known as a Canadian handjob.
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Okay folks, sorry to keep bothering you…
When I say Labyrinth what’s the first thing that comes to mind?
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Bob Barker died. He was 99. He got the closest without going over.
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“Punching the clown” is my favourite euphemism for masturbating.
What’s yours?
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@samellens
@OnlyInLVNV
And these people need to experience exactly what happened to them here at Costco. They need to meet resistance at every fucking step.
Freedom doesn't mean you get to do whatever the fuck you want.
Lesson time.
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Dear Canadian Twitter,
It’s been claimed there is a dislike for the western provinces of Canada amoung those not from the west and a greater desire for Alberta to separate from Canada than ever before.
Which province are you from and what say you to these claims?
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Who do you have to fuck to get a hug around here?
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It’s Tuesday AND my 40th birthday and only two people have gifted me the joy of seeing their balls.
Why do the rest of you hate me?
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I went to Catholic school and I can suck the chrome off a trailer hitch.
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A man just sent me a picture with googly eyes pasted on his nipples.
What do I do now?
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Are you really Canadian if you haven’t apologized for apologizing? 🤔
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Boobs boobs boobs. Why does no one want CHEER UP vag pics?
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My husband just called a vase a flower casket and I couldn’t even argue.
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Cum is now known as BASTARD BATTER.
I will take no questions.
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@KaitMarieox
Mine made me dinner and gave me a bouquet of orgasms.
Better luck next year hon.
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Does anyone know now to get colour stay lipstick off?
*asking for my nipples
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It’s depressing when you dinner has a nicer ass than you.
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Today is a great day to put lotion on your balls.
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What’s your favourite thing to dip your fries in?
You can’t say cum.
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So yeah, get the tit pics from the girls with the great tits. I was blessed with a face people want to throw cock at.
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I don’t mind seeing the dicks.
I’m just gonna say it.
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@Rosie
I saw you on Seth Meyer and though this would put a smile on your face.
#CaptainAmuellerica
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Just once I’d like to stick my asshole in my cat’s face.
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@bostonteapartyd
@OccupyDemocrats
Follower count doesn’t count for much in the real world where Donald gets repeatedly found guilty of fraud.
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@nytimes
Canadian here.
I’m curious how US senators demand delay to SCOTUS justice selection on an election year then turn around and do that very thing this year?
If the people can’t trust their government due to lying and hypocrisy, how can the rest of the world trust the US?
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I’ve been gathering some solid advice on how to attract men.
Please let me know if you have anything to add.
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@NewsNationNow
Um is this a bad time to remind y’all about the whole “no justice, no peace” thing?
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@Cptnrwrpnts
@lewing99
“Not to brag or anything, but one time, I did this chick so hard from behind her head fell off.”
If there wasn’t video, none of Carl’s friends would have believed him.
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This is a shout out to that one person who always likes your posts.
You are the unsung heroes of Twitter.
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It sucks when you order an expensive sex doll and she comes with that all too familiar ‘Don’t Fucking Touch Me’ face.
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Can someone please explain to me why the fuck Americans hate cussing so much?
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Not to brag or anything but I just smoked weed so good I can’t think of a word that starts with the letter ‘K’.
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@davidlister11
@CNNPR
@tedcruz
@CNN
@clarissaward
David, did you hear the entire sentence. She said chanting death to America while being friendly is “utterly bizarre”.
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Question good people of the internet:
How old you are and what you listen to on the way to work or school?
Example: I’m 45 and I listen to the radio.
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Someone told me he couldn’t send me dick pics because I’m a classy lady. I laugh so hard I flashed him my tits.
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My super power is telling people I’m crazy so they go away.
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Someone told me it was stupid to still give blow jobs after the age of forty.
Are we supposed to stop doing what we love when we turn 40?!?
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My mother-in-law said she doesn’t know what we’re going to do with her ashes when she dies.
Kitty litter was not the right answer.
I know this now.
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Adulting has more crying in the shower than I was expecting.
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Whenever my teenagers leave the house I yell “CONDOMS!” at them.
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I want my gravestone to read
Hey you kids! Get off my lawn!
You?
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I think this text reply about sums up why I’m not voting Conservative:
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Retweet this if a Canadian has ever made you horny.
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@nypost
I feel like there was a real missed headline opportunities here like:
“‘Vagina’ candle explodes in woman’s face”
Or
“Gwen’s exploding ‘VAGINA’ candle blows UK woman away.”
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Is it sexting when you tell someone to fuck off?
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Guys....I think my mom might be a Karen.
WTF do I do?!
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