DJBarc
@DJ_Barc
Followers
945
Following
544
Media
2,955
Statuses
22,763
He/Him Full of wisdom and shite in very unequal measures
Northern Ireland, United Kingd
Joined December 2014
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Harry Potter and
The Finnish Soldier Who Took His Entire Troop's Methamphetamine Supply While Skiing Away From The Russians
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Opened the door to the delivery guy but it got caught on the mat & I nearly dropped the pizzas. As he left he said "enjoy" to which I inexplicably replied "enjoy". Realising he forgot the receipt he posted it through the letterbox. I reached to get it but touched his fingers.
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"Parental consent"
"No hiding changes from parents"
This cunt is a parent. How do you feel it would benefit a child struggling with their identity to have the school inform this kind of unhinged bigot?
Get FUCKED!
A new section 28.
In the same way that young gay people were invisibilised by Thatcher which caused untold suffering for people like me, history now repeats itself with trans people.
Shame on Rishi Sunak and all those who are gleefully championing this profound harm.
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Everybody is talking about Kwasi Kwarteng's inappropriate laughter, but nobody is talking about Thérèse Coffey's inappropriate Tommy Cooper tribute
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As it's festive season again, let's remember some of the tweets that gave us the most Christmassy cheer.
I'll start:
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"I could never be racist. I was hacked, Officer."
"OK. We can prove that so let's get your name cleared."
"You can.... you can prove hacking?"
"Yes"
"In that case I was drunk & sent the tweet without knowing I sent it"
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Harry Potter and
The Surgeon Who Bet His Own Penis That Gonorrhea And Syphilis Were The Same Disease (And Was Wrong)
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Home Secretary Priti Patel says she is disappointed that the flight to Rwanda could not take off tonight but says they will not be deterred and "preparation for the next flight begins now"
For more on this visit
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Harry Potter and
The Man Who Learned He Could Suck Water Up Into His Anus And Turned It Into A Career
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Harry Potter and
The doctor who tried to prove the existence of the soul by weighing people as they died, and then murdering some dogs
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Emma Watson owes JKR fuck all. JKR didn't play a part in the casting, but even if she had nobody should be bound to a person who gave them a job 20 years ago, especially when they're a hateful POS. If you think differently, you're a cunt.
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Personally, I'm happy that celebrities get to jump the Queue & I totally agree with it.
Every cunt queueing has already bought into the belief that some people are better than others so it's just right that they get to see that played out, right in their stupid fucking faces.
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Thinking of getting a tanker, painting "LOADS OF PETROL" on the side and playing a live version of SNAKE on the roads in England.
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3yo threw a tantrum at 6.45am today because I scratched his back but he "want to be itchy. Give me my itch back. NO. I WANT MY ITCH BACK"
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Harry Potter and
The Girl Who Got Pregnant After Being Stabbed In The Abdomen Following Oral Sex
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Interviewer: You've read the Constitution though, right?
Lavern, smugly: Every. Single. Word!
Interviewer: Even the first one?
Lavern: Well, no not that one.
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Harry Potter and
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Do Sarah Vine, Allison Pearson & all the other "Friends of Wootton" claiming "he's always been nice to me" think that serial sexual predators/rapists just go about their daily lives sexually preying and raping, or can they get why these claims mean fuck all??
#DanWoottonExposed
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Harry Potter and
The Hero Who Saved Lives By Pumping Hydrogen Gas Into His Own Anus
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Eamonn Holmes is effectively telling everyone he knew this whole time what Schofield was doing but didn't day a word about it until it was beneficial to him to do so. That doesn't make him a hero. It makes him complicit. Wooton too.
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Your mate Dan Wootton deleted all his Huw Edwards posts following the revelations he had a locked bag of sex vids, some taken without consent, some he solicited under different aliases & got nasty, abusive & threatening when challenged. He then ran away & hid. You missed that
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Man shitting in pool yells "STOP SHITTING IN THE POOL"
Boris Johnson Takes Short Flight In A Private Jet To Summit About Climate Change
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Hey,
@piersmorgan
here is a prominent figure who quit citing mental health. When can we expect your column on how weak this white, male quitter is?
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@Joey7Barton
@simonharris_mbd
Absolutely. Until she's stubbed a cigarette out in a team mate's eye ball, how can we ever take her seriously?
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Harry Potter and
The Doctor Who Got Ludicrously Rich By Implanting Goat Testicles Into People's Scrotums
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"Crypto/NFTs are NOT a scam. Trust me" declares scammer so famed for scamming there's literally a movie about it.
I'm hosting my first ever Crypto/NFT Mastermind at my estate in Miami on April 9-10 and I want you there.
I’ll be revealing the latest, cutting-edge investment strategies for all things crypto:
📈 Token offerings
💰 NFTs
💸 DeFi protocols
🌐 Metaverse
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Harry Potter and
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🎶I'm an MP with a thirst for knowledge
I googled Co-eds getting fucked in College
That's when I
Undid my tie
The guy looked like his cock was loaded
On the front bench but I nearly exploded
I said fine
then in thirty seconds time I said
I WANNA WANK IN THE COMMONS, PEOPLE
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As we stared at each other through the glass panel I realised that I can never order from there again, but will be ever agree to deliver here again.
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Melville's disdain for public health hitting dizzying heights today.
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Harry Potter and
The Circus Owner Who Pretended His Lion Wasn't On The Loose In Birmingham City Center
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.
@sajidjavid
tells
@MishalHusain
that he would not wear a mask in a thinly-occupied carriage on a mainline train late at night, even if there was a sign advising him to do so.
“Even if it said ‘we recommend wearing a mask’, I wouldn’t wear a mask”
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Has anyone checked on Melville?
This news will crush him as it effectively fucks 40% of his planned tweets for the week.
#meanwhileinsweden
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Going to retweet this as it's just fucking lovely, and as a bonus the frothy gammons will be seething
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Daily Mail: This Royal tour is a PR disaster. Caged children, recoiling from black people's touch. We can't even blame Meghan for it.
Dan Wootton: Hold my beer, KKK Hood and this burning cross!
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It would be like the Red Arrows, except brown and yellow
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Typical of
#MattHancock
to not even put his dick out to open tender and instead give it to one of his closest aides.
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Today: Win warmth or die
Next year: The literal fucking hunger games
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Lozza Fox outraged that drag acts are more likely to read his kids a story than he is.
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Just Lee Hurst advocating the death of 25 million people so he can grab a pint while regaling the locals in the Ram's Head with tales of how he used to call Rory McGrath names on TV 30 years ago.
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Matthew Parris: Don't be too hard on sex trafficking Paedo Prince Andrew. He saved a dog once in Scotland.
Also Matthew Parris. Fuck refugees. Why should we care for those beneath us?
Also also Matthew Parris: I'm a cunt.
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As terrible as it is that nearly 3000 people died in 9/11, it's still better than if they hit EIGHT towers with FIFTY planes. Think on that!
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Just been at my kid's sports day, and this is what I was subjected to. No other parents seemed upset, probably too scared to speak up for our children.
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@angeltobe1
@dt_ni
He is allowed his view. In the same way everyone who wants nothing to do with him are allowed to have their view.
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Introducing the wee man to Star Wars and within minutes he's declared Vader will not be playing in his paddling pool. This is a sanction he reserves for only the worst kinds of people, like Blake, 10, from round the corner.
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Melville's love interest has base jumped into the rabbit hole, suggesting that improved Internet infrastructure is a tool of the scamdemic.
WAKE UP NEO
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Jeffrey Donaldson sudden and thorough removal from Social Media causing quite a stir.
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So embittered by abject failure at everything he tries, Lozza is now shouting at traffic lights.
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"But nobody came for me, because I'm an irrelevant twat, and the butcher wasn't real."
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@HJoyceGender
This you, last week supporting your friend for publicly sharing naked pictures of someone without their consent?
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[Casting Director to 10yo Emma Watson]
So, great news. We'd like to offer you the part for all 7 movies, but I just wanted to quickly check that you're OK with travelling during term time & publicly defending the author's hateful transphobia for the rest of your life?
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@SkyNewsBreak
"Disgraced Pop Star" - Jesus Christ
Raping children isn't a "disgrace".
Try "Dangerous, rampant paedophile Gary Glitter is freed from jail"
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Rupert Grint: I don't agree with everything this woman I've known closely since I was 10 years old says
GCs: WHY WON'T HE FUCK HER??????
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Lozza is so sad, lonely and divorced he thinks dancing is the same as having sex.
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@ItsJamieDawson
@_josephsullivan
@ScotNational
@Keir_Starmer
He skipped court after being released on bail and is wanted on terrorism charges. You dickheads talk some fucking shite
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Q) Which of these is a slur?
Tall person / Short person
White person / Black person
Fat person / Thin person
Cis person / Trans person
A) None, you ignorant Terfs. Grow the fuck up!
#CisIsNotASlur
#CisIsASlur
#CisWithTheT
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@SpillerOfTea
@BBCNews
His Son:
🎶You can reach me by railway..... but that's it.
I don't care how you get here as long as it's exclusively by train🎶
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@BBCAfrica
@JimMFelton
Can we pretend they're arrogant billionaires and pull out all the stops to find them please?
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@TimSweeneyEpic
@goodatsports_
@Aert2Me
Why did you do it though? What benefit above the free version do you feel warrants paying? Your verification is worthless as all I need is $8 and a phone to have as much prestige as you. Previously it offered protection against identity theft. Now it doesn't.
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Sophie I'm very sorry you were bullied about where you were from, how you sounded & your social class by these Tory cunts.
For your own well being, also try and avoid this horrendous person below, who made a career out of doing it to other people.
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@SophyRidgeSky
While possibly true, she should refer to her own departments reports of the issue and address the bigger culprits that don't have as much media coverage
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I guarantee this same teacher would froth in rage if the students called him Kevin rather than Mr Lister. Compelled speech and faux respect is expected by them, but this transphobic bully refuses to offer the same courtesy.
Teacher sacked for 'refusing to use transgender student's chosen pronouns'
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@SpillerOfTea
They were quick enough to cut Dominic Cummings naming Laura Kuenssberg. Muffled that shit in seconds.
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My daughter, who's working beside the Big Fish where the Gazpacho Gestapo & the sentient Picasso are spewing their hate, just messaged to say
@JuiceOnAir
are drowning them out and the counter protest is rocking.
Take a fucking hike, Nazis.
#TransRightsAreHumanRights
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Rick Astley's final form is a Non-cunt Morrissey
Rick Astley singing ‘This Charming Man’ with Blossoms tonight at the London Forum. 🕺
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@edwardvenn2
@samblackledge
When they can walk the streets doing the basic things like holding hands or just f**king existing without getting abused for it, then we can start not celebrating their representation and inclusion.
Until then, sit down Eddie.
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@9NewsMelb
Cis women should be kept out of children's safe spaces. This kind of thing is all too common, and we need to protect our children from these people.
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DAN WOOTTON: The 50 smelliest people in the UK today. They are all stupidheads and I hate them. I'm not a bedwetter. They're lying to get me in trouble.
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@CobbVanth1878
@snopes
It is. It beautifully captures the loving, intimate relationship between cousins
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"Let me through. I'm a fucking medic"
Kyle Rittenhouse, who has idolized law enforcement since he was young, arrived in Kenosha on Aug. 25, 2020, with at least one mission: to play the role of police officer and medic. The night would end with him fatally shooting two men and wounding another.
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