I had a low point at work. I asked a crowded room if anyone had any treasury tags. No one in the room had ever even heard of a treasury tag.
Turns out I was ten years older than the next oldest person… they don’t know what treasury tags are!?! They just don’t know!
I am LIVING for The Queen tottering around doing exactly what she wants! State opening of Parliament? Nah! The horses!? Opening a line named after ME?! YES!
The Queen uses an oyster card as she makes surprise appearance to see new Elizabeth line at Paddington Station.
📱More on the royal visit and more on the Crossrail project here:
📸 PA Media
Basically all I’m doing today is going through the motions until I can watch
#TheTraitorsUK
… I have so many meetings where I’m just going to be glassy eyed as I think about who is going out tonight.
Someone invited me out for a drink tonight?!?! ARE THEY INSANE?! No.
@goldisacks
It’s amazing because this is a post modern hate crime. He looked beyond the crime and found it in its rawest form…
I’m moved. Beautiful. Interpretative. Brave… full of truth…
I really feel like I’m having a reset today. It’s 15 days to my birthday. F*ck it! Imma lose a stone.
Context: I’ve woken up in a windowless hotel in soho and I’ve got to start living a bit! I’ll be old soon.
This is how low I’ve gone when it comes to ‘hotels’ in Marylebone… I am so hot I may die. I’ve looked under the bed. No one has cleaned there in a while… how is this my life?!?!?!
I didn’t even know this was a thing- but now I know I’m not a proper grown up and I won’t be until I, too have an after eights gold tray!!! I SHAN’T REST!!
Thrilled to announce Richard and I have booked a Cruise. Yes, come the 21 October we shall be boarding the Queen Victoria in Southampton ahead of 14 days off around the Mediterranean.
I do hope there isn’t too much Press at the port.
Me: “I’m so annoyed with politics at the moment I’m almost tempted to go in to politics.”
Richard: “everyone on the Internet has your nudes. Everyone. You’d be on page 6 of The Sun by the end of your first week.”
Me: 😳
@NoContextBrits
Birmingham - we just must stop pretending it’s a city! It’s a suburb to nowhere with nothing better to offer than a boarded up John Lewis and a quick rail service out of it.
Forget that thing about twitter being too thirsty! I’ve found a mirror in
@its_a_a_ron86
‘s house which makes me look like a frickin snac! I want this mirror of lies for my own home!
Have spent all of my commute home raging about how awful my life is…
Husband picks me up. He has sorted the tyres on the cars. Made a lasagne and a blackberry crumble. And bought and arranged fresh flowers…
… this is somewhat undermining my cause!
Guys- I’ve really messed up.
This Jan 17 to Jan 18 to Nov 18...
It turns out your can’t drink 6 pints, half a bottle of wine and half a litre of gin a day without consequences!! I look like a frickin’ pork pie!
I WANT MY TWINKY BODY BACK...😖
Why are some so keen to ‘get back to normal?’
You all remember ‘normal’ don’t you? It was awful! Exhausting and awful!
That version of normal is not something I ever want to go back to. I’m so happy not being constantly tired. Let’s create a better version of normal shall we?
BIG NEWS! R and I have bought a bar in GRAN CANARIA!
It’s closing from 1st April to the end of May of a refit (and frankly a once over with a wetwipe), and then we open for the Summer Season!
R and I are divided about the wall art. I’d like something more floral. He loves it.
Got a new haircut and I thought I looked very nice- but when R saw me he jumped slightly and said “CHRIST. He went a bit mad didn’t he!? Must not want to see you back for a while….”
… so I’ve gone upstairs to sit quietly in the media room and think about ending it all!
It’s R and my 10 year anniversary next year... when we married (civil partnership as it was then) we snuck away to Brighton with two friends. It was wonderful.
But now.... I’m wondering about a 10 year anniversary party... I’ve already mentally spent £10k.... 😳
I’m on a train out of Kings Cross heading to some god forsaken corner of the Home Counties so I can attend a family gathering…
However … the twink migration home for Christmas is truly breathtaking. You’ve never seen anything so beautiful in all of nature…
Watched ‘Call Me By Your Name,’ again last night, and I want to know where the HELL Armie Hammer was when I was a horny 17 year old!?
*digs out a photo of me at 17.... oh, oh I see why Armie Hammer wasn’t interested.... 😳😂
Accidentally locked R out the house last night. Took him ages to wake us up to let him in after midnight mass. Have Horrific hangover. Was sick before breakfast & discovered I’d left the gammon in the Aga for 12 hours
Gammon is OFF the menu & I’ve gone back to bed with bubbly!
Last day in Gran Can! Have had a lovely holiday. Now if my plane goes down on the way home, it will have been the perfect break.
Oooh- also. I met a fellow twitter gay who was out here on an incognito filth trip! I have been sworn to secrecy so his identity remains hidden! 😉
My midlife crisis almost began!
I spent all afternoon convincing myself I need a massive chest plate tattoo.
Then I YouTubed videos of men getting chest tattoos. Mostly burley massive lads in tears from the pain.. begging for it to end...
Midlife crisis is now over! 😳🤓
@DJNSussex
Hi David, that is our Reusable Bubble Bar called Candy Cane and is meant to use in the bath to give you a lovely bubbly experience. If you want more information about this product then you are more than welcome to give us a DM - Alice
Apparently I don’t mention my lovely husband enough! There are poor boys sliding into my DMs looking for love... soz kids.. this is R.
Snatched me out of primary school and I’ve never looked back!
Did my duty. Got gays from work to Pride. Ordered T-shirt’s and booked places and all that nonsense! Tried the whole street party thing (not for me). So now I’m taking this ugly mug home to drown my sorrows in beer...
My new Home Screen has changed my life… I feel about 60% happier every day. When I’m bored in a meeting I pretend to check the time but actually I just want to see this lil face beaming out at me! 🥰🥹