Daniel Gould, MD, PhD
@DJGould94
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St Vincent's Hospital Melbourne surgical resident; University of Melbourne PhD: stakeholder engagement for co-design of orthopaedic clinical predictive models.
Melbourne, Victoria, Australia
Joined November 2018
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When you and the squad don't make it onto the list of authors
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Marine biologists when their paper is accepted for publication
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PhD students presenting their findings to their supervisor:
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People will literally do a PhD instead of going to therapy
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Let's start an anti-acknowledgement section for manuscripts, where you call out the people who unnecessarily made your life more difficult during the project
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PhD life got me feeling like grocery shopping and doing dishes are hobbies
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Chemists who publish negative findings should call those papers publianions instead of publications
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Co-authors be like "get rid of this section"
My brother in Christ, you wrote that section in the previous draft
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Asking me when I'll finish my PhD is an act of violence.
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"your work isn't novel enough"
I'm a researcher, not a novelist
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Academics be like "Clearly, " then proceed to write the most obscure sentence you've ever read
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Bro please come to the conference. Registration fee $1000 ($950 early bird), flights & accommodation $3000. You'll present for 6 minutes and get roasted. You can't present virtually because...look you just can't ok. There's a yoga session. You'll get a point on your CV bro please
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PhD supervisors be like: I don't understand this sentence?
And I'm like: fam same
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Cover letters for academic journal submissions be like:
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PhD students be like this is where I keep my funding
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The reviewer said my findings are meaningless and my research question doesn't interest them, then questioned my integrity as a researcher, so now I write "thank you for your helpful comments"
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Submitted a manuscript 45 seconds ago and it hasn't been rejected yet 👊
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Did it hurt? Seeing a paper of questionable methodological quality published in the journal that just rejected your manuscript?
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Peer reviewers be like "these findings are hardly surprising" lol ok I'll put in a jump scare next time
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When the reviewer asks you to cite their irrelevant paper
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I heard a joke about research funding but I didn't get it
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The 'novelty' of my study while the manuscript spends 12 months in the peer review cycle
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The audacity of some people to remind me I voluntarily chose the PhD life
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Manuscripts can't be rejected if you don't submit any
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Any other PhD students out there finding one of the only things you really enjoy is sleep? 🤔
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A PhD is temporary.
That typo in your thesis is forever.
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The postdoc giving a pep talk to the new PhD students
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They call me a PhD candidate because I can, and did, ate all the free food at every available opportunity
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Me signing up to do a PhD then complaining about PhD life
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"convince your readers of the importance of your research"
I have a hard enough time convincing myself
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Can an American please explain to me why Northwestern University is in the northeast
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Doctor: where does it hurt?
Me: *shows manuscript rejection email*
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Me at 15: "I'm going to change the world"
Me at 28: "I'm going to change the font in this manuscript, but nothing too crazy"
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The link between the conference audience member's question and your actual presentation
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I swear I'm really going to read that article believe me
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Imagine if they sent the research proposal back with comments and tracked changes
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When my paper is published and ResearchGate tells me I have a new citation (I cited myself)
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When you ask for honest feedback on your manuscript and you get honest feedback
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PhD candidates trying to convince you they're enjoying their PhD
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Creating deadlines for myself so I actually get things done
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A PhD is neither a marathon nor a sprint. It's this:
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When the peer review comments are almost as many words as the manuscript
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Submitted a paper I've been working on for 2.5 years on Friday.
Felt...nothin
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When you massively underestimated the time it would take to finish a manuscript but you're in too deep so you've just gotta see it through
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What is PhD if not clueless grad student persevering?
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Senior academics exploiting junior researchers be like:
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How I feel when my paper is accepted for publication
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When your manuscript is rejected by one journal then published in a journal with a higher impact factor
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"dear editor, I sent you my manuscript and cover letter and you still ain't sent the manuscript out for peer review"
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My PhD supervisors said "ok now a silly one" then took me on
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