Bureau of Human-Bovine Cultural Affairs
@CowboysStats
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Now-defunct repository of advanced stats and graphics celebrating the human-animal hybrid lifestyle. Saw beauty in the grotesque, and adhered to the Code.
Joined August 2018
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This account started as a 3-4 month project to push myself to learn R. It quickly became more involved than I ever imagined. And now it's finally time for me to step away.
I'll be here another week or so to hang out and tie up loose ends. I had a blast, and appreciate you all ❤️
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Philadelphia Eagles: 10-3, having outscored their opponents by a combined 21 points
Dallas Cowboys: 10-3, having outscored their opponents by 188 points
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aaron rodgers believes that vaccines may be sterilizing billions of people, and withheld this knowledge from the public for months
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Odds to win their respective divisions, per FiveThirtyEight:
Seahawks (4-0): 57%
Cowboys (1-3): 60%
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looks like the model was right
According to the win probability chart produced by
@NextGenStats
, we had less than 1 percent chance of victory with 4:30 left in the fourth quarter before coming back to tie the game.
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I would forfeit all Cowboys championship odds for a decade if it guaranteed Dak got to continue his career. If that upsets people I don't really care. This organization owed him so much more than this.
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The Cowboys drafted CeeDee Lamb and Trevon Diggs without trading up.
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The Dallas Cowboys have secured team control of Dak Prescott, Amari Cooper and CeeDee Lamb through the 2024 season.
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I hope everyone fully appreciates what Dak Prescott is doing for his team today.
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In games where Ezekiel Elliott keeps his age under 23, the Cowboys are 19-6.
In games where Elliott is 24.065 or older, the Cowboys are 5-8.
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the four quadrants of cowboys fandom
loved romo loved romo
love dak hate dak
hated romo hated romo
love dak hate dak
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this man's foot is attached to his leg by a working ankle
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hear me out: cooper, lamb and gallup, but with dak prescott instead
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You've heard arguments that go something like this: "When Ezekiel Elliott gets 25+ carries, his team is 19-4."
This is explained by the incentives teams face late in games. Teams run more when they're already likely to win.
Light blue = winning teams
Dark blue = losing teams
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Final results, 2023
Total EPA:
1. Prescott, +178
2. Purdy, +177
...
8. Jackson, +91
Total EPA, if only the expected YAC was gained:
1. Prescott, +190
2. Allen, +155
...
10. Jackson, +81
Total win probability added:
1. Prescott, +442 percentage points
...
11. Jackson, +209
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The thing that's sad is that I still love the Dallas Cowboys football club
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I am sorry to report that Dak Prescott put up some incredible stats in garbage time again.
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Amari Cooper, Michael Gallup and Cedarian Lamb are Dallas Cowboys
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Every Cowboys game is the same.
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20 days, 23 hours and 36 minutes until the Cowboys can sign Dak Prescott to a long-term deal
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Dak deserved so much better than this.
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How will Dak do on Sunday against the Packers in the Wild Card Round? 🤔
📺: Sunday, 4:30pm ET on FOX
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The data is clear:
Jerry Jones teams in a non-Rowdy environment
• 11-2 playoff record
• 3 Super Bowl titles
Jerry Jones teams in a Rowdy-influenced environment
• 5-13 playoff record
• 0 Super Bowl titles
You all continue to point the blame for the Cowboys in the wrong direction.
There's one constant and he has to go
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starting a gofundme campaign to buy the dallas cowboys and make them pay dak
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We are very fortunate.
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the cowboys were told that 68 was not an eligible receiver. that may partly explain how he was able to get open in the end zone
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the dallas cowboys should buy the denver broncos and convert them into a farm team
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work-life balance icon jimmy garoppolo
Jimmy Garoppolo reportedly ignored coaches for "weeks and weeks" after getting his big contract in 2018.
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Dak Prescott is one of the greatest developmental stories in football. He's one of the best quarterbacks in football. He's a Dallas Cowboy.
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Leaders in Total QBR after Week 10:
1. Dak Prescott, 78.8
2. Worthy MVP candidate, 78.2
3. Injured should-be MVP candidate, 78.1
4. Worthy MVP candidate, 76.2
5. Worthy MVP candidate, 75.1
...
15. Aaron Rodgers, 56.5
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Remember that episode of The Office where Michael tries to fire Creed and Creed just ... talks him out of it
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r o m o
w a s
b e t t e r
t h a n
w e
d e s e r v e d
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i nod along approvingly until i reach the last four lines, my eyeballs boinging out of my skull
Cowboys hybrid DE Micah Parsons shared his distaste for media scrutiny that lacks humanity. “You shouldn’t just watch people throw dirt on people’s names, especially former athletes. …Who are we to talk about people like that?”
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from a time when we were happy
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what if andy dalton isn't as effective a player as dak prescott, and the quarterback position is important
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Dak Prescott is the complete package.
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The XFL literally just put the 1-point attempt in to expose teams that can't do math
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@minakimes
He was so real for this
You might understand football, but you don't know it until you can really "Talk Football".....
#educateyourself
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We didn't deserve Tony Romo.
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if randy moss was so good, how come he only caught three passes against the cowboys on thanksgiving
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Regular reminder that your life was normal and fine until the moment Dez caught the ball at Lambeau, the simulation split from reality, and stuff started getting weird all of a sudden
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CeeDee Lamb is a Dallas Cowboy.
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Before Week 12, the Cowboys were 6-4 and had a 59% chance to win the division, per FiveThirtyEight.
Since then, they've gone 0-2 and have dropped to ... a 66% chance to win the division.
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The Philadelphia Eagles have lost the Super Bowl and coughed up an unassailable division lead since their fans booed the Walter Payton Man of the Year.
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please give me your credit card number. i won't even charge a significant fee. i just want to make sure your credit card number is in my database when i sell my company to an unknown buyer
🚨 SCOOP: X, formerly known as Twitter, will begin charging new users $1 a year to access key features including the ability to tweet and retweet
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Y'all know I'm as pro-Dak as can be, but that last stat goes a long way toward explaining all the others.
Dak Prescott through Week 3:
‣ 96 pass completions (1st in NFL)
‣ 143 pass attempts (1st in NFL)
‣ 1,188 pass yards (1st in NFL)
‣ 396.0 pass yards per game (1st in NFL)
‣ 32 completions per game (1st in NFL)
‣ 47.7 attempts per game (1st in NFL)
#CowboysNation
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if dak prescott is entering his dad era, it could have a catastrophic impact on his most important stat: sleep quality
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this is the world the dak haters want
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Dak Prescott is the Cowboys' best shot at having a good-to-great quarterback in the next decade. Every hypothetical about how they could upgrade at the position is almost comically unrealistic.
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Odds of winning their respective divisions, per FiveThirtyEight
Cowboys (1-2): 70%
Seahawks (3-0): 50%
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Troy Aikman takes Mike Pereira to task on air for defending that tripping call.
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With this 37-3 lead, the Cowboys have surpassed the Eagles in point differential on the season (+81 to +80).
Dallas has played 5 games with a backup QB.
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i'm starting to think a great many people were underestimating dak prescott all along
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Total YAC on TDs from 15+ yard throws
Purdy: 147 yards after the catch
Tua: 167 yards after the catch
Dak: 1 yard after the catch
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Punting on 4th and 1 while trailing by 11 in the biggest game of the season <<<<<<
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seeking: intern (unpaid) to quarterback the dallas cowboys football club
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dak was so good today. overcame 2 costly interceptions to post +15 epa. completed 72% of his passes despite a 59% expected completion rate. huge 3rd down conversions, decisive touchdowns
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Skip Bayless's comments are usually easy to explain away as the inconsequential ramblings of a TV character he invented to grab attention. But not these comments.
Everyone's mental health is important. Talking openly about struggles with depression is a sign of strength.
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embarrassed dak by allowing him to complete a 90th percentile share of passes above expectation and move the chains at a 90th percentile rate
Robert Saleh on the
#Jets
defense: "We've played a gauntlet of quarterbacks. And I know we haven't gotten all wins, but we've embarrassed all of them."
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Cowboys made the right call
Does anyone else enjoy plain noodles? No salt, no butter, no nothing.
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We don't deserve Dak Prescott and Amari Cooper
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a vision of humankind careening toward extinction in a few generations, and he did nothing to stop it
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i have decided to enclose frisco in ice until the cowboys and dak reach a deal
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Hard to imagine a QB that this framing is less useful for than Lamar.
Fewest 300-yard passing games over 1st 40 career starts:
David Garrard 0
Lamar Jackson 1
Alex Smith 1
Kyle Boller 1
Mike Vick 1
Joey Harrington 1
Tyrod Taylor 1
*started career since 2000
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Extending a running back to a market-setting deal and letting your best coverage guy walk to own the nerds
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for this reason, i regretfully rescind my nomination of aaron rodgers for the pro football hall of fame
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Total EPA, Weeks 1-13
1. Purdy, +147
2. Prescott, +134
3. Allen, +123
...
6. Hurts, +88
Total EPA if each completion picked up only as many yards after the catch as expected, given the situation and target location
1. Prescott, +153
2. Allen, +125
3. Purdy, +117
4. Hurts, +95
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summoning circle, hope this works
🕯️
🕯️ 🕯️
🕯️ 🕯️
lamb-
🕯️ hopkins- 🕯️
cooks
🕯️ 🕯️
🕯️ 🕯️
🕯️
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The Cowboys outscored the NFC East by a combined 240-107.
"The Cowboys are the third-best team in this division. The Washington Football Team and the Giants are both better."
👀
@danorlovsky7
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I would like to nominate this tweet for the Pro Football Hall of Fame.
Dak Prescott? Philip Rivers? Eli Manning?
The Bears have a lot of potential options for Mitch Trubisky's backup in 2020, including some big names.
Here's a look ahead to the 2020 quarterback market.
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not sure why it's so hard for some people to understand dak can play a bad game while still being a good quarterback that you need on your team going forward
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zeke reaching 22 mph in rookie minicamp. ceedee growing half an inch in his mid-20s. there's something special happening here folks
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Cowboys fumbled and I felt nothing.
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Every generation has a legend.
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*team hands off for 4 yards*
"a star RB would unlock our offense"
*team hands off for 4.5 yards*
"this is dominance, the pinnacle of sport"
Ezekiel Elliott finished 12th in RYOE per attempt (+0.37). His xYPC created for him by Dallas' blockers (4.1 xYPC) falls in line with that of Nick Chubb, Christian McCaffrey and Dalvin Cook, but his 4.5 YPC created a smaller difference, which is why he finished 12th.
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having a really hard time processing the notion that dak didn't elevate the team yesterday
Elite quarterbacks elevate their teams when starters are missing — Cowboys QB Dak Prescott has not
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dak's success has been driven by the best supporting cast in the nfl, which is why his receiving corps has undergone 100% turnover, his o-line has failed to register a Top 10 placement in pass block win rate in at least 2 years, and his defense has gotten entirely average results
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Remember when a national analyst said the difference between Dak and Wentz was that one just didn't take over games in the fourth quarter? He was right.
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kyler murray's disappointment with the post-'90s cowboys is evidence he's still a cowboys fan
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Imagine thinking analytics isn't useful because football is such a complex game, only to also believe that teams can win simply by giving their running back 25 carries.
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. 🕯️
🕯️ 🕯️
🕯️ 🕯️
🕯️ 🕯️
🕯️ 🕯️
🕯️ 🕯️
🕯️
Update: The
#Cardinals
will not be able to get their initial asking price of a "2nd round pick and another asset" in a trade for WR DeAndre Hopkins, per
@AlbertBreer
He thinks it will be closer to the
#Cowboys
Brandin Cooks trade of a 5th and 6th round picks.
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This wasn't just a good decision. It was a good decision that was the result of good process.
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former tough-guy coach redeemed by Analytics and called to preach the gospel of sleep quality
“I used to think sleep was for the weak. What a dumbass statement that is.”
_ Mike McCarthy on being mindful of the coaching staff’s workload at this time of year.
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i hear a muffled noise outside my window. cowboys offense is standing there, holding a boombox overhead. it's playing our song, "touchdowns only." our eyes meet
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socrates: "so we agree, then, that 300 yards passing and 100 yards rushing are the exact same concept, identical in every respect?"
crowd: "it could be no other way, socrates"
socrates, aside: "now i have them where i want them"
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it appears increasingly likely our qb is evil. and that's Good
Dak Prescott finishes off the drive with a QB sneak for the touchdown
Then he holds the ball out for Leighton Vander Esch, and has a few words for him
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Four Cowboys linemen currently rank in the top ten at their position, according to ESPN's pass block win rate and pass rush win rate metrics.
La'el Collins - 100% win rate
Tyron Smith - 97%
Zack Martin - 97%
Maliek Collins - 18% (really high for a DT!)
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Unpopular opinion: Dak Prescott is good at football
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The Cowboys were 5 of 5 converting via the run on 3rd-and-short.
More than half of their early down runs were successful for the given situation, which is about the equivalent of a 5-yard gain on 1st down.
It was a 94th percentile rushing performance by EPA/play.
"It felt like two or three years, everyone ... was talking about Zeke being washed. But the bottom line is, the Dallas Cowboys miss Zeke right now."
—
@RGIII
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hard to express how pleased i would be if the nooch outplayed carson wentz
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Yet another fourth quarter Dak wasn't able to take over (because his defense let him down on the next drive)
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